12
THEA
I stare at the uncrumpled note in my hands again, knowing I should have told Cassie the truth. But her reaction would have made it worse. She would have insisted on calling the police. That’s what I should have done, from the beginning. However, that meant drawing things out.
I couldn’t bring myself to do that.
Cassie means well, I know she does. This is something I have to handle on my own.
I don’t lie when she asks if I will meet up with him. That would be stupid. Gavin won’t stop unless I do—face to face. Maybe this time he’ll get the hint.
So I told Cassie exactly when and where we’ll be. And I hope that my ex finally realizes that I want nothing to do with him.
As for Cole, I lie to him. I don’t want him wrapped up in this.
Cole: Morning, love. What are your plans for today?
Me: I have a full day in the studio. You?
Cole: Natalie came down with something, so I’ll be at the bakery most of today. Need me to bring you anything?
Me: You’re so sweet. I’ll let you know if I need anything.
Cole: See you tonight.
Me: Can’t wait!
Cole: Have a wonderful day, beautiful.
Me: You too!
The exaggerated enthusiasm makes me feel a little sick, but I don’t want him to worry. Also, this is too much baggage for something so new. He doesn’t need that. Lying over text wouldn’t be the hardest part, it’d be seeing him tonight and doing it to his face.
Cassie and Anthony are coming to Cole’s house for dinner and games. Maybe that would be enough of a distraction. Then I wouldn’t have to mention anything about today.
Looking myself over in the mirror, I make sure not to wear clothes that might make him feel like I put too much effort into seeing him. I pull my dark hair into a low ponytail and slip on my old sneakers. Perfectly plain, perfectly unappealing.
The contradiction hits me hard.
Gavin loved the way I dressed when we first met. I was all sundresses and skin. It’s what caught his attention. But years later, it was the thing he hated the most about me. Whenever I wore anything he deemed too revealing, I’d hear about it for hours. You’re such a whore for attention. The words are long gone. Still, they feel heavy in my ears, as if he’s saying them to me right now.
I agreed to meet him in a public place. It’s the safest way to do this. I also realize that if he’s leaving me notes, it’s likely he already knows where I live. Stopping this early will be key so that he doesn’t seek me out here.
My truck’s engine turns over and I head towards the restaurant far from Wolfe Creek Bakery, ensuring that Cole won’t see us.
I work on steadying my heartbeat and breathing the entire drive over—it actually starts to work. That is, until I pull into the parking lot and spot Gavin’s Mercedes. The sight of it drags up all the panic I’ve worked so hard to push down.
The only solution is getting this over with. I step out of my truck, square my shoulders, and put on a face of false confidence.
Pulling open the door to the Italian restaurant, my eyes adjust to the dim light inside. I scan the tables until I spot him. Our eyes lock simultaneously. I want to run, I should run. Instead, my legs drag me inside.
Gavin smiles brightly. He looks a little different—good even. Maybe he finally took my advice to stop the nightly beer binges.
His light brown hair is wavy but styled neatly. He’s always had a boyish face that appears even younger when he keeps it clean-shaven. That’s how he looks today—youthful and almost innocent. It’s a disguise. In college, he played football. Back then, his body reflected that hard work in the cuts and hardness of defined muscles. Now, after years of drinking and not working out, his body is much softer.
Gavin Tallentire isn’t an ugly guy. In fact, most women would love to end up with a man who looks like him. Yet the darkness beneath the surface has made him ugly to me.
He stands and I think he’s about to hug me. I put a stop to it. I sit down before he can touch me. The light leaves his eyes a little and satisfaction surges briefly.
“Hi, I’m Terri. I’ll be helping ya’ll today. Can I get you started with drinks?”
I order water. He does the same. “Can we also get some garlic knots? You want those, right?” It takes all of my effort to bite my tongue. I nod. Twelve years and he still doesn’t remember what foods have gluten in them.
This will be easy—for me.
I want this to be quick. Maybe I can even be out of here before Terri has time to take our order. The thought of spending an entire meal with the man has my stomach churning. Not wanting to waste time on small talk, I start the conversation.
“Gavin…I’m not sure why you came here, but I think I made it very clear before that I didn’t want to see you again. You understood that, right?”
That smile falters a bit, although not completely, and that worries me. Gavin’s elbows find the table and he perches his chin on his clasped hands.
“I’ve been working on myself this last year. I’ve been getting in shape. Stopped drinking—mostly. I meditate now.” He says in a way that makes me think he wants me to be excited for him. That he thinks I’ll be thrilled. “I’ve been working on myself for you.” Gavin doesn’t break eye contact.
He’s always been a good salesman, it’s necessary as a real estate agent. Instead of houses, today he is trying to sell himself.
But I’ve owned this particular brand of love before. The kind that tricks you into believing that it’s the very best. Love that makes you have hope in the world and see things brighter. At first. The kind that slowly pulls the blindfold from your eyes to show you the truth. That it’s a lie, a cruel manipulation, to get you to give up yourself and your worth.
Kudos to him for his con working when I was young and na?ve—I won’t be falling for it again.
Sighing, I try not to let my annoyance seep through my expressions. “I’m not sure what that has to do with you being here. I don’t know how you found me. There’s nothing here for you. That hasn’t changed—my decision to not be with you hasn’t changed. I want you to leave.”
The last part has me nervous. My fingers grip my knees beneath the table, nails digging through the fabric of my pants. Flashes of the last time I rejected him assault me. My arm pulses from the memory of his bruising grip—the night he showed up at my parent’s house.
“Thea… please. I’ve worked so hard to be a better man. For you. I need you back. I can’t get you out of my head.” He reaches out a hand towards me and I flinch back instinctively. I hate myself for being scared of him. “It’ll be different this time. I swear.”
I want to reach across the table and slap the shit out of him. All I hear is I, I, I. He’s just as selfish as ever. The anger is boiling over. I can’t help what comes out of my mouth despite the fear of his retaliation.
“You don’t seem to understand. I want nothing to do with you. You’ve hurt me emotionally and physically…” I want to say the last word hushed, yet I don’t. I want him to feel the shame of it. “You tore me down for years. Made me feel worthless, ugly, and ashamed. There is nothing you could ever do to redeem yourself in my eyes. Nothing.” The last word comes out especially venomous.
I push out my chair and grab my bag. I’m about to leave, but I peer over my shoulder at his idiotic, gaping mouth. “And stop leaving these creepy notes in my truck and at the studio. It’s fucking weird, even for you.” His face twists in confusion—either at my courage to call him out or at the fact I would think his behavior is creepy.
I’m halfway through the restaurant when I hear him call out. “I’m not giving up that easily. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.” I keep walking, not wanting him to see that his declaration has me trembling.
Nothing good is going to come from his persistence.
I’m distracted even hours after my meeting with Gavin. Cole can tell. He’s been asking me every so often if everything is okay. I keep telling him I have a lot on my mind with the properties Cass and I saw. I hate lying to him, but the alternative seems far worse.
My biggest fear is that he’ll think that I’ll go back to Gavin considering how long we were together. But also I don’t want to put him in the position of feeling like he needs to defend my honor. We’ve only just started dating—that isn’t his responsibility.
Stirring the massive pot of red sauce on the stove, I push away the events from earlier. Cassie and Anthony will be here soon. I don’t want anything to ruin tonight. Cassie can sense when something is wrong with me and that might spell trouble, especially with Cole already on alert.
I focus on leveling out my emotions before she arrives.
Cole’s arms snake around my waist, pulling me into him. “You look so good in this dress, love.” It comes out breathy against the shell of my ear. Cole’s lips graze the skin down the side of my neck and across my bare shoulder. When he gets to the thin strap, he plants a soft kiss.
It’s been days since his brothers caught us in the pool. We never got to finish and the tension of that unreleased build up seems to reappear at the slightest touch from Cole. He’s enjoying it—seeing me squirm as he brushes past me for no apparent reason other than knowing what it’ll do to me. He’s been doing this for days. I try to hide those small tells—my breath hitching, a slight shiver, or shifting in my seat as I feel pressure build between my legs. I’m not doing a good job of it—I notice his smirks whenever he pulls those responses from me.
How does he know me so well already?
That’s all it’s been. These subtle touches that leave me dreaming of his hands all over my body every night. Cole hasn’t tried to pick up where we left off and it’s driving me insane—part of me thinks he’s doing it on purpose. I’ve let him get away with it—until now.
“Cole,” I whisper breathlessly. “Don’t start something you don’t intend to finish.” I’m finally feeling brave enough to say what’s been on my mind.
I feel his low chuckle against my back. His hands drop from my waist and a surge of annoyance flares. He’s going to walk away instead of giving me what I know we both want. Then, I feel the tips of his fingers skim along the hem of my dress—grazing the front of my thighs.
Glancing down, I watch as his hands disappear under the fabric. The coolness of his ring makes me shiver. “Oh, I intend to finish, but not before you, Thea.” The promise in those words makes my heart thunder and cheeks blister. His mouth trails kisses back up to my ear. “We can start right now.”
Excitement jolts through me and then his fingers climb higher until he’s tracing the lines of my lace panties. My head falls back onto his shoulder as I lean into him. Cole grips my hips, pulling me into him, his erection grinding into my ass.
I have the vague realization that we aren’t the only ones in his house.
“Your brothers…” I whisper. The thought of them walking in on us again pulls me from my lust haze—just a little.
“Shhh. Don’t worry about them,” he reassures. “Let me do this for you.”
I’m about to question what ‘this’ is when his hand pushes under the front of my panties and his flesh meets my most sensitive parts. A gasp escapes me. Partly because this feels so good, but also because it’s been too long since anyone other than myself has touched me there.
Cole’s fingers slide over the length of my pussy, gathering the slickness on his finger before finding my clit. “Cole.” I can barely get his name out and I’m not sure if it’s a plea to stop or to keep going.
In this moment, standing in his kitchen where anyone can walk in, I’m learning something about myself. Maybe it began sinking in after getting caught in the pool, although it’s now that I’m confirming my suspicions. The thought of being found is fueling my desire. He can tell.
“Thea, you’re so fucking wet. Are you turned on knowing that someone could walk in on us?” His finger circles my clit before pressing into it. Instinctively, I push into him, wanting more. “Is that a yes?” I whimper and nod in response.
This side to Cole that emerges when he wants me is vastly different from the Cole I get any other time. The other version of him is caring, thoughtful, attentive. This version is all of those things, however, now there’s also a dark hunger that I can feel in his insistent touches, the scrape of his teeth against my skin, and a huskiness in his voice that calls to deep, primal things within me. He balances both, giving me what I need, exactly when I need it.
Without warning, Cole slips a finger inside of me and pauses. “You feel so fucking good,” he moans against my neck. I can feel his uneven breathing behind me and he takes a moment to compose himself. But I want him now. I need him to give me what I’ve been without for too long. My hand finds his and I nudge him deeper inside me, urging him to continue.
He finds a steady pace, in and out. Then he’s curling his finger while it’s deep inside of me, finding that hidden spot. Each caress sends an electrifying wave of pleasure through me. My legs feel weak and I’m sure he’ll bring me to my knees.
Sensing the effect he’s having on me, his free arm wraps around my waist and holds me in place. “I’ve got you, love.” Suddenly, he’s pushing a second finger in. Cole drives a steady rhythm. The heel of his palm grinds against my clit. It doesn’t take long before I’m near the edge, ready to freefall into bliss.
I tune everything out. All I can hear is my own rapid breathing and breathless pants.
“You’re getting close, aren’t you?” I can’t answer, too focused on the building pressure. And he knows it. “That’s it. Come for me.”
The encouragement pushes me closer and I can’t help the moans that come next. “I-I’m close…”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The rapping at the front door pushes away the climax I’m chasing. Cole’s fingers continue dipping in and out of me, yet I’m acutely aware that Cassie and Anthony might see us through the glass window in the door. Although our backs are to them, the position looks precarious. Not to mention if we don’t answer the door, one of Cole’s brothers might.
While the idea of getting caught might get me hot, I don’t have any desire to actually be on display for those closest to us.
Knock. Knock.
“Damn it.” Cole curses and removes his fingers gently. He gives my neck a lingering kiss and goes to the door.
I refocus on stirring the sauce, trying to recover from the ache of wanting that has replaced the pleasure. After a few breaths, I turn with a smile on my face to greet my friend and her boyfriend, as if I wasn’t just getting finger fucked moments ago.