57
THEA
I barely register that we’re doing well over the speed limit. I don’t care. My only concern is getting to Sutton.
Damian’s words replay in my head. They don’t know if he’s going to make it. I was numb when he first said it, but now they are ripping through my chest—I’ve never felt pain like this.
Sutton is the first person who truly cared about me. He was the first person I ever really cared about and not in the way that you have to care about someone. I cared about my parents, although only because I was supposed to—they brought me into this world. But Sutton, I chose to love. I chose to spend my time with him, and our connection is deeper than I can ever describe.
The universe or some higher being brought us back together after a decade a part, that wasn’t a coincidence. He came back into my life at the exact right time and now…now I’m about to lose him. I don’t care if I sound like a petulant child. That’s not fair. It isn’t fair that he’s in surgery fighting for his life. And it isn’t fair that he might be ripped from me just when I got him back.
I’m crying uncontrollably in the backseat while Wesley hounds Damian to tell him word for word what was said.
Damian sighs and gives in. “It was his dad on the phone. He said that Sutton lost control of his bike and crashed. There was a car behind him that saw what happened. They stopped and called an ambulance. He’s in surgery now, but the doctors aren’t saying much.” Even through my crying, I can hear the fear in Damian’s voice as he recounts the message.
Wesley turns and reaches out to put a hand on my leg. “He will be okay. Sutton’s not going anywhere.” I want to believe him, but it’s so hard. We have no information. That might be the worst part.
Damian whips his Audi around the parking lot and finds a spot. We race for the hospital entrance. Each step closer makes my stomach knot tighter. This doesn’t feel real. Sutton just had his arms around me this morning. It must be a nightmare.
“I’m his fucking brother. Tell me where he is!” Damian’s shouting at the nurse when I catch up to him and Wesley. The sensible part of me knows I should try to calm him, however, that’s not the part of me that’s in control right now.
“You heard him. Tell us where to go!” I bang my hand on the counter.
The elderly woman picks up the phone and I know she’s probably calling security.
“Damian? Wesley?” Someone calls out their names and our heads snap in the voice’s direction.
Standing down the hall is a thin man that I recognize as Sutton’s dad. He’s aged a little, but it’s him. Damian and Wesley run to him. I follow closely behind.
He leads us to a waiting room, where I see Sutton’s mom sitting, a tissue in hand. My heart cracks at the sight. They both give her a long hug.
“What do we know?” Damian asks, he’s keeping it together well. Although, I can see the tenseness wringing his body. Wesley is fidgeting nervously. Meanwhile, I’m keeping my distance, afraid I’m going to burst into tears again.
Sutton’s dad updates us. “He’s still in surgery. He has multiple broken bones as well as a collapsed lung. He also has fluid in his abdomen, but they can’t tell where it’s coming from. They said it could be hours.”
My hand comes up to keep the gasp from leaving out of my mouth.
“Thea?” Sutton’s mom looks past Damian, recognizing me. “It’s been so long.” She smiles warmly. “Sutton told me you two reconnected. I was happy to hear it.” She comes over to me and wraps her arms around me. “It’s so good to see you.” Her hand brushes over my cheek. “All these years…he’s never stopped talking about you.”
My lip quivers at her words. My sweet Sutton. I feel like a piece of my soul is being torn from my body and I know if I lose him, I’ll never be the same.
“He’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine,” she consoles. How can she comfort me right now? Her son is in critical condition and she’s here telling me how happy she is to see me. I can’t bear it. I can’t bear the motherly kindness of it in my rawness.
Sobs wrack my body. I know everyone is staring at me, probably unsure of what to do. I’m making a scene which only makes me cry harder.
Wesley rubs my back. Sutton’s mom steps aways and he pulls me into him. “Listen, I know this is terrifying, but you need to calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick. There’s nothing we can do right now.” I know that he’s trying to be helpful, but it only angers me.
I pull away from him. “I need a minute.” Damian opens his mouth to object. However, my glare stops him. I can’t listen to everyone say it’ll be okay when they don’t know. Those are lies people tell themselves to feel better in the moment. I don’t want lies. I want the truth. This is a scary situation and there’s no guarantee Sutton will live. We don’t know.
I’m not sure if anyone’s told Cole. Considering what we learned just before getting the call, I’m assuming not. Despite what he’s done, he needs to be here for his brother. I can’t be the reason he isn’t.
Opening my phone, I start typing out a message. I don’t want to tell him everything because he needs to get here safely. I walk away from the waiting room in case Damian or Wesley come to check on me. As I’m about to hit send, I hear my name.
Looking up, I see Cole coming towards me. “How did you know?” It’s the first thing that comes to mind.
“Sutton’s mom called me. I told her I wasn’t with Damian or Wes and to call them after we got off the phone. I got here as soon as I could.” He reaches out to embrace me, but I recoil without thinking. His eyes narrow. “What’s wrong? Oh god, did you get an update on him?”
Taking a deep breath, I steady myself. “No, he’s still in surgery. We won’t know anything for a while. Can we talk…privately?”
“Yeah, of course. Is everything alright?”
I head farther away from the waiting room. There’s too many people around, not really, although it feels like it. I don’t stop until we are outside of the hospital doors.
I don’t know how to start this conversation, so I dive in, head first.
“You’ve been lying to me.” It’s not the smoothest start and I know it’s likely going to make him defensive immediately. “I know about the inn. I know that you somehow have a key to my studio, one I didn’t give you. I know you asked Jake to terrorize me that night.”
I watch the emotions play over his face, each accusation cutting deeper.
“Thea…”
I put a hand up to stop him. “Please tell me there is some logical explanation for all of this. I want to believe I’m wrong, or maybe this is a misunderstanding because this isn’t the Cole I know. I feel like everything’s been a lie.”
He reaches out, but I pull away. “Thea, I love you. That’s the only thing that matters. I love you so much it hurts. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for us. Because I believe in us and our future.”
“Cole.” It comes out as a whisper. He’s not denying any of it. “I’m giving you the chance to tell me that there’s an explanation that makes sense. Wes and Damian already know about the key and Jake. I haven’t told them about the inn. They don’t know you’re here, but if they find out…I don’t know what they’ll do. Please, tell me something that explains all of this.”
He runs a hand through his curls and stares at me through his dark lashes. The realization that he has no excuse slams into me.
“Did you steal my studio key, Cole?” I wait for denial, but he’s silent. “Did you plan for us to run out of gas?” Again, he says nothing. My mind races. What else? “That wasn’t the first time you used the key to my studio, was it?”
Cole’s chin lifts and his face hardens.
My voice comes out as a choke. “Did you mess with my bookings? Was that you on camera? Leaving the truck part for me to find? Jesus, Cole…you made it so my truck wouldn’t work?” While I pace, something important is trying to surface in my mind. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. It’s hard to think beyond the anger and hurt of his deception.
Cole finally speaks. “You don’t understand what it’s like.” I freeze and look at him.
“I don’t understand what, Cole? What did I do to deserve this? Did I hurt you somehow? Because I can’t think of anything I did to make you do this to me.” Tears pour down my face and my chest tightens, making it hard to breathe.
Even through my blurred vision, his face remains emotionless. “You don’t understand what it’s like having to share with everyone all the time. To have nothing to call your own. To never be good enough for someone to choose you above everyone else.”
Oh my God. Is this about sharing me with his brothers? “Cole,” I seethe. “I was yours before you introduced me to your brothers. I was all yours. It was that fucking pact you forced on me. You told me it was the only way. What was I supposed to do?” Anger overpowers everything else. “You planned that encounter with Jake before I even met them. You decided I wouldn’t choose you before I even knew there was a choice to be made.”
Cole steps towards me and I don’t back away this time. Rage makes me bold. “I had such high hopes for you. I did everything right. I was exactly who you needed me to be. Everything you said you wanted.” His words confuse me.
“I told you I didn’t want to take you from your brothers. If that’s what you wanted, you could have told me. It could have just been us. But you made me believe that this was the only way and now… Now I care about all four of you. And I can’t walk away.”
“It’s more complicated than that. It’s not as simple as walking away.” His hands drag down his face in exasperation. “The only way out of this is death. Like Damian said.”
I interrupt, “No. Damian clearly said that you could leave, you just wouldn’t be as close as you are now. You wouldn’t get the benefits of the pact. But you could leave.” He looks away briefly and something in his eyes sends a jolt of shock through me. Cole isn’t deceiving me, not this time. “Tell me Damian didn’t lie about that. Why would he lie about that?” My voice cracks.
Cole lets out a breath. “There are too many secrets I share with my brothers. We all know too much for one of us to leave. It’s a liability.”
My mind scrambles to figure out what that could mean. Then, it hits me. I know at least one of those secrets. Rob and Matt. Does that also mean death is my only way out of this as well? I thought it was Damian being poetic. Now…I’m not so sure. I push that thought away, needing to deal with Cole first.
“You pulled us into this, you trapped us. Whatever shit you have going on with your brothers…whatever deal you made in this stupid fucking pact, you should have handled before involving me. I don’t even get it. What did you think the outcome of this was going to be? Did you think I wouldn’t connect with them and we’d go on the run for the rest of our lives?”
The way Cole is staring at me, I know the answer is yes. That’s exactly what he expected. He wanted me to abandon my whole life for him. A coldness settles in his eyes.
“I thought you were different. You were supposed to be different from the others. You were sweet and kind and out of a bad relationship. I knew if I could give you everything that Gavin couldn’t, then you’d fall in love with me and choose me over all of them. You’d do anything for us to be together.”
My mind tries to wrap around his words. His reasons make no sense to me. Who is this person he thinks I am? I would never leave my life here to run off with him. Be with him, sure. But run, no, I couldn’t do that again. “So this was all a test? You wanted to rope me in and see if I would pick you after meeting your brothers? You manipulated me to see if I would give everything up…for you.”
Cole is silent, although I see the confirmation in his eyes. “I knew Sutton was my only real problem. He’s friendly and you’re his type. I wasn’t betting on him having a history with you. But Damian, I knew it would take him a while to warm up. He always takes the longest. As for Wesley, I made sure that he thought the last girl I brought home stole from him. I needed to make you fall for me fast, while keeping them from getting to know you.”
“Oh my fucking God. Cole, this is insane! Do you understand that?” I can’t even believe he’s willingly admitting this to me right now. “I feel like I’m going crazy. I thought Gavin was behind everything in the last couple of months. Was it you? Was all of it you?”
“I needed you to trust me and for you to see that I could protect and care for you.” He’s spilling his darkest secrets to me and slowly I’m realizing why.
“Cole, forcing me into a corner so that I had to depend on you wasn’t the way to make me fall for you. I need to go back inside to see if there are any updates.” I inch back towards the hospital doors, suddenly too aware that it’s dark and there’s no one around.
“Thea, we can still be together. We can go right now, just you and me.” His hand shoots out, swiftly wrapping his fingers around my wrist. “You and me, my love.”
I try snatching my arm back. “I could never be with you after this. You tricked me into loving you. You purposely sabotaged my life. How could I ever trust a lying psychopath? I’m so fucking stupid for not seeing it sooner. You were too perfect and I should have known.”
Cole’s fingers dig into my skin until it feels like he might snap a bone.
“Let me go! Help! Help!” I scream out, hoping someone, anyone, hears me.
Panic hits his face. Then, he starts dragging me away from the hospital doors towards the parking lot. Fuck, this is bad. I throw myself to the floor, hoping that it catches him off guard, so he lets me go. Cole’s grip is too strong. He bends down and wraps his arms around me, lifting me and carrying me towards his Range Rover.
My legs kick out. I try to slam the back of my head into his face, but it doesn’t work. Every step closer to his car makes my heart beat faster. I know that if he gets me in there, I’m fucked. I need to stay here in the parking lot. By any means necessary.
Cole releases one of his arms to dig into his pocket for his keys.
This is my only opportunity. I wretch myself to the side, hoping to knock him off balance so that his grip loosens. Instead, he drops his keys on the ground and pulls me back to him so that we’re face to face.
“You’re going to make this worse. Stop fighting, Thea.”
“Fuck you, Cole.”
I let out the loudest scream I can muster. It rips through the night air. I only need one person to hear, one person to look at what’s happening.
Cole’s rage filled eyes shift to worry. Worry that he’ll be caught. He pushes me into something hard. Glancing up, I see it’s a light post. Sucking in a deep breath, I prepare to scream again. I’ll never stop screaming.
He pulls me forward suddenly and slams me into the light post. My head bounces off of the hard concrete.
The shock and pain of it silences me. My vision dances as I try to focus on Cole’s face. He pulls me towards him once more, then throws me backwards. My head must hit the light post again because everything goes dark and I’m floating in nothingness.