CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Krista found me sitting on my cot. “Was that Camden that I spied coming out of this very tent? Carrying his clothes?” She came to a stop in front of me. “Look at your hair! I’m so happy for you!”
Before she could get carried away I held up my hand. “Hold your horses, there. Nothing happened.”
She pshawed me and said, “Your hair’s down and your shirt’s on backward? I call BS that nothing happened.”
“I get how it looks, but we just talked the whole night.”
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I bet he’s a great talker.” She waggled her eyebrows at me.
I groaned and collapsed back onto my cot. I was having enough problems dealing with this Camden stuff without Krista making it worse.
She sat on Camden’s cot, waiting for me to say or do something, but I was feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. So she said brightly, “I’m surprised you’re up and ready for yoga. Given that it starts earlier than you’re probably used to. It’s this magical time of day we call morning.”
“I didn’t wake up. I never went to sleep.”
“I bet you didn’t,” she said, and then immediately switched gears. “Sorry, I can’t help it. I know I shouldn’t give you a hard time, but it seems like you like him and that just makes me kind of giddy for you.”
She wasn’t wrong, no matter how much I tried to deny it. “It doesn’t matter if I do.”
“Of course it matters!” she protested.
“I don’t believe in boyfriends and I have to stay true to my beliefs,” I said. It was something I’d jokingly said to her before, but now it just felt weak and inadequate.
Because after last night ... things couldn’t be the same. Like he’d said, something had changed. That connection, the one that had been there since the beginning even though I’d denied it, felt so strong now. It was as if I’d known him and liked him for years. I didn’t know how I was going to walk away from him once this was all over. Sadie and Dan were getting married tomorrow and I was catching a red-eye right after. That would be it.
She put her hands over her face before sliding them down slowly. “I blame your mother for this. Not every guy you meet has to become something more serious.”
That was what she didn’t understand. I wanted that something more with Camden and I couldn’t figure out a way to make it happen without betraying his trust. “If I kiss him, then I’ve done something wrong.”
“Why? You’re not going to see him again.”
“It’s not a matter of seeing him again, it’s a matter of integrity. I wouldn’t want to get involved physically with someone that I was lying to. If I keep things platonic, then it doesn’t matter.”
She looked annoyed. “It matters if you missed out on something great.”
“Great? He exercises, I don’t. He likes being outside, you know I’m basically allergic to the sun. He eats avocado toast on purpose and I don’t need to explain to you how I eat.” Whether this was to convince her or me that there was no future here, I wasn’t sure.
“From an outsider’s perspective, who is getting information from all sides, I can see the things the two of you have in common, the shared interests, and how well you seem to get along. You and I have been doing this for a long time and I think you know as well as I do that what this all boils down to is do you like being together, do you want the same things, and are you interested in each other’s lives?”
Everything about Camden fascinated me and last night I’d happily listened to his half-hour-long story about what training for the Olympics had been like, and could have listened to him for hours more. “Other than his loyalty to Ohio State, yes.” To all of her questions.
She looked far too satisfied with herself. “I don’t even have to ask if the physical connection is there, because anybody can see that.”
True.
Krista continued, “I’m not sure what your whole denial thing is about, but you like him. What you choose to do with that information is up to you, but know that I’m here for you.” She stood up. “Now, should we get out there and say good morning to the sun?”
I didn’t have it in me to tell her that I’d already had that experience once this morning and nothing else could compare.
I made a quick appearance at the yoga session, explained my outfit change the way I’d said I would, and got back to my room. I set an alarm and then crashed hard, a dreamless sleep that was difficult to wake up from. I refused to let myself think about how Camden’s half of the bed still smelled like him. If questioned, I never would have admitted that I slept on that side so that in a small way it was like he was still there with me.
Our spa day was pretty typical and something I’d experienced in many wedding parties. Sadie seemed happy and bright, which was my only goal. To make sure that expression stayed put.
I enjoyed my facial, my massage, and the pedicure that took off so much dead skin that I might have gone down an actual shoe size.
Afterward we were free to spend the day how we wanted, until the bachelorette party that evening. It should have been my job to plan it, but the hotel wanted her to have it at their bar and she had agreed.
The only instruction she’d given me was to keep away from anything that might seem tacky or low-class. She’d said to me, “I grew up poor, feeling like I was always being judged. I want this to be above reproach. I mean, trolls are always going to find fault, but my brand is aspirational. It should be more elegant and refined. No strippers, no anatomical cakes or balloons. Just us having a good time.”
It was her day and anything she wanted was fine by me. I’d gotten in touch with the hotel before we’d even flown to Hawaii and they had assured me they were going to take care of everything, including the food. All we had to do was show up.
Showing up was definitely in my wheelhouse.
Sadie had apparently told Dan the same thing—she’d asked that he not let things get out of hand, because the camera crews would be there. He had told her not to worry because he didn’t even want to have a bachelor party. He’d said, “Why would I want to celebrate my last day of being single? All I want is to be your husband and I can’t wait for that to happen.”
I may have sighed happily when she told me that. I’d heard that the men planned on having a nice steak dinner with cognac and playing some poker.
Most weddings I’d been involved with had a rehearsal dinner the night before, but Sadie told me she wasn’t interested in her mom and stepdad having to sit at the same table for any length of time. At the reception they were going to be seated separately, something she could get away with there and wouldn’t have been able to at a rehearsal dinner. It sounded like a good plan to me.
I also spent my day wishing that Camden would call me. Or stop by. I kept an ear out for his door, my gaze drifting repeatedly to our shared wall, but I never heard him return to get ready for the bachelor party.
Deciding this was beyond pathetic, I got ready myself, keeping the bathroom door shut and the fan on. For good measure I turned on some music on my phone just so that I wouldn’t know if he was back.
I picked out my favorite red cocktail dress for the party and was in the midst of putting my hair up when I stopped, almost hearing Camden’s voice telling me to have fun and not take myself so seriously. I could be professional and still have a good time. I wouldn’t need my armor tonight, so I left my hair down.
And if I was going to admit it, I was hopeful that his quarter had landed on heads and that I’d see him after and he’d get to appreciate it.
I made my way down to the bar and saw one of the camera crews in a corner, talking among themselves. I found Krista sitting in a chair near the door, waiting for me.
She grinned when she saw me. “Your hair’s down! It looks pretty. You did that for a boy.”
Feeling embarrassed at being caught out, I said, “I did not. I’m not even seeing Cam—any boys tonight.”
“You almost said his name!” she told me in a singsong voice. “Because you like him and yes, you did do your hair that way for him.”
“What are you drinking?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
“The bartender got out champagne.” She held up her flute.
A waitress came over and asked me what I’d like, and I told her I was fine. I’d order something when the other girls appeared.
It took a few minutes, but Mary-Ellen and Sadie came down together, their arms linked. There were hugs and air kisses exchanged and the manager of the bar approached us, leading us to the private table they’d set up for us. It had a bunch of finger foods—things like kalua pork sliders, shoyu chicken kebabs, grilled pineapple.
It was delicious and I didn’t even care that somebody was filming us eating. This food was worth it.
The waitress brought over a tray with more champagne flutes. To my surprise, Sadie took one. “It’s a special occasion!” she declared. “Only don’t let me get too far gone. My wedding is tomorrow.”
“How do you define too far?” I asked. I was happy to be her babysitter tonight if that’s what she needed.
“If I start dancing on tables, definitely cut me off,” she said, reaching to clink her glass with Mary-Ellen’s and Krista’s.
Krista held up her glass for the toast and said, “May we have so much fun that we don’t even notice how annoyed the other bar patrons are!”
I’d thought the bar would shut down for the evening, but it was still open to other guests. Given the looks I was seeing already, we probably were going to annoy our fair share of people.
“Can I get a soda? Something lemon-lime?” I asked the server and she promised to be right back with it. I figured it was better to order a drink that had no chance of being accidentally spiked.
“Do you know how bad those are for you?” Mary-Ellen asked. “Artificial sweeteners eat holes in your brain. It’s basically death in a can.”
The fact that she said this unironically while munching on buffalo wings and potato skins and drinking champagne as fast as they could bring it to her was not lost on me. The server returned with my soda and I carefully drank the entire thing in front of Mary-Ellen, just to spite her. It was a spite Sprite.
As we ate, at the director’s urging, Sadie recounted how she’d met Dan in Rome. He’d been there for a tech conference and she was there to do a photo shoot and they met at a restaurant after she dropped her napkin and he returned it. They spent the rest of the night talking and walking the romantic, moonlit streets of Rome.
“I knew that night I was going to marry him,” she told us and Mary-Ellen sighed so loudly and wistfully that I wondered if I should tell the bartender to slow down on serving her.
Sadie shared more stories about their courtship, how he’d proposed to her by flying her back to Italy and asking her to be his wife on the Spanish Steps, which was where they’d first kissed.
She had gone over this information when she hired me, but it had been matter-of-fact then. It was like I was seeing a different side of her—she was so unguarded and free, and obviously in love. Again I felt that pang, that sensation like I was missing out on something big.
After drinking a sixteen-ounce glass of soda as quickly as I had, I needed to use the restroom. I excused myself and stayed longer in the bathroom than was strictly necessary.
I glanced up at my reflection as I washed my hands, not able to come up with a reasonable explanation for my current feelings. I’d been to dozens of weddings and had seen so many people happily in love who promised to spend the rest of their lives together. I’d never felt like this before, like I’d lost a limb and wanted it back. How could I be missing something I’d never had?
And why did Camden’s face keep popping into my head?
“You’ve got a job to do,” I reminded myself, reaching for the paper towels. It was time to stop throwing my private pity party and get out there and support Sadie.
I walked back into the bar and smiled when I saw how much fun Sadie and the bridesmaids were having. They looked happy. My shoulder twinged slightly, probably from my purse pulling on it, and I switched the strap over to the other side. I rubbed my shoulder slightly, my mind drifting back to when Camden had massaged it, and the reason he’d told me that he’d had to stop.
“Do you need help with that?” Camden asked.