16. Alex
ALEX
Ikeep replaying it in my mind. I can’t seem to stop.
Over and over, I see myself in the backseat, my father dying in my lap, the light of his eyes dimming by the second as he focuses on a point somewhere beyond me, the car, maybe even the rain outside.
I can’t seem to stop seeing it and I wish to God that I could.
It replays in my mind like a broken reel, over and over again.
And it’s not even just the images. It’s everything else. The smell of his blood and the harsh burn of gunpowder in the air. The rocking of the car as Rikki sped through the streets. The thick and heavy rain smell blowing into the cracked and shattered car windows.
I can’t get it off me. It just won’t fucking come off.
I endured it while we rode to Marius’s and even as I sat in his living room while he patched Rikki up.
I endured in the car after he’d had his sons take Gedeon and my father’s bodies away and we had to drive back still soaked in their blood.
In the kitchen, giving Rikki instructions for Liz and for my sister…
It was all still happening in my mind and it hasn’t stopped. I thought once I was in the shower, at least I could wash some of it away.
I’ve been leaning against the wall, letting the warm water run down the back of my neck, watching the brownish-red colors of blood and dirt swirl down the drain. Nothing else follows it down. Not the pain. Not the memory. Not the reality that he’s gone…
The immediate sense that I’m not alone hits me and I look up.
Through the hazy glass of the shower, a figure stands at the door.
All I can make out, other than her shape, is the red of her hair.
I wipe the water and fog away and there Nona stands, wearing her nightgown, a simple wispy pink thing that falls well past her knees.
Her hair is down and cascading past her shoulders, the ends curling up in giant ringlets.
She’s looking at me, the deepest green reflecting back at me from her eyes.
It tugs at the edges of my cracked heart.
I look away. “Go away.” She doesn’t move. She just stands there staring. “I said leave, Nona.”
“No,” she says softly. “I’m not leaving you alone. Not tonight.”
I sigh. I am not anywhere near being in the mood for these games. “Leave or I will throw you out.”
I see her move out of the corner of my eye, so I look up. She’s walked all the way in. “Then you’ll have to do that because I’m not leaving you alone, Alex.”
My anger flares. “Don’t test me, Nona.”
She tilts her head slightly, then she pushes the sleeves of her gown down her shoulders, one after the other, until she’s pulled her arms out completely. It falls from her body, sliding to the floor effortlessly. My view drops down to her perfect, pert breasts and to her rosy pink nipples.
“What are you doing?” I say. I try to sound offended, but it just isn’t coming out that way. It’s been a couple of days since I played with her in the game room and the taste of her hasn’t left my mind. I watch her pull her panties down and kick them across the room.
“I can’t fix it,” she says. “I can’t change anything that’s happened, but I can comfort you.”
I’m frozen as she walks to the shower and pulls the glass door to the side. She steps into the shower and shuts it behind her. And now she’s in here with me. A moment later, I feel her hands on my back. Warm and soft as they press into the muscle, sliding over my wet skin, massaging me.
It’s like a switch goes off in my mind as her hands move with the water, slowly taking away my armor, piece by piece. Her soft lips press against my skin as she leans into me, her hands moving around to my abdomen.
And then she embraces me. Her breasts press against my back as her arms wrap around my torso. I’m warm under the water and in her arms and…
It hurts so fucking much. Enough to break me down. Enough to shatter me into pieces. I don’t have the luxury of breaking.
I reach down and take one of her hands, kissing it. “Make it stop,” I whisper. The sound is almost too low under the sound of the shower, so I’m not sure she hears me.
So I take her hands and push them away, turning around to her. She’s soaked from head to toe, her hair as dark as blood as it sticks to her face and hangs over her breasts. Her skin is smooth as silk as the water drips down every inch of her.
I can’t explain it, but her eyes are pleading with me. Let me comfort you.
“On your knees,” I tell her. She doesn’t give me any lip or ask any questions. She just gets on her knees in front of me, awaiting my instructions.
I’m only standing at half mast. Even looking at her beauty, the pain is still so much. “I can’t forget it,” I tell her. “It won’t leave my mind. It won’t stop. I need you to help me. Just give me something else to put in my mind for a few hours.”
She nods and says, “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
I touch her face, caressing her cheek, and she leans into my hand. “Suck me off, Nona.”
She wraps her hands around my cock and starts a steady, circular movement over my shaft as she leans in and starts sucking the head, her bubble gum pink tongue moving around and around it before taking it in her mouth.
The warmth of her mouth is a slight shock to my system. I watch as she alternates her hands with her mouth, taking more and more of me in. Watching her head move in rhythm, the feel of my rapidly hardened cock sliding down her throat as she takes me deeper and deeper…
I have to brace myself, leaning with my arm against the tile wall as I move my hips to match her. “That’s good,” I moan. “That’s very good. Just like that.”
I place my hand on top of her head, moving it over her wet hair until I’m cradling it, urging it forward. The rough streak within me wakes up and I start thrusting to get deeper down her throat. She doesn’t resist me. I feel her throat open a little more with every deep thrust.
“Such a good fucking girl,” I moan. The deeper I go, the more I expect her to recoil or push me away. She takes it, though. No gag reflex. No choking. She’s working my dick like a fucking pro and it’s getting me to the finish line.
I pull myself out of her mouth before the point of no return and I hold it in front of her. She leans in, letting me rub the head against her lips. She sticks out her tongue and licks it in circles, looking up at me with those deep green eyes.
“Stand up.”
She does. I grab her around her waist, sliding my cock between her legs, pressing it against her pussy.
I need for her to scream for me. To dig her nails into my back. To pull my hair. I need to make her come so hard that we both forget what happened tonight.
Her hands are pressed against my chest and she wraps one leg around mine, opening up and rocking her hips as she grinds on my cock. She kisses my chest, taking little nips here and there.
“Fuck me,” she murmurs. “Please. Give me everything you’ve got. I can handle it.”
I lift her up in my arms, sliding her pussy down onto my cock as she wraps her legs around me. I press her against the wall of the shower, bracing her as I fuck her. Low, guttural moans erupt out of me with every thrust.
“You feel so good wrapped around my dick,” I growl in her ear.
Her moans turn rough as grab her thighs and lift them higher, fucking her hard and deep.
“My king,” she moans louder and I feel the walls tighten even more. “Fuck me. Hard… harder…”
Her thighs are shivering against my waist so I know she’s going to come soon. I slow down, rotating my hips while she holds into me for dear life, her nails digging into my shoulders. Her hands move up to the nape of my neck and into my hair and her mouth finds mine.
Tasting her lips, her tongue, all of it in this kiss makes me want her so much more. I start thrusting hard again and she moans in my mouth, nails raking across the back of my neck.
All sense of control is gone and I’m swimming in her body. The warm water of the shower rains down on us both as her pussy starts to twitch in time with a coming orgasm.
We explode together and she locks her ankles around me, burying her face in my neck.
I hold her against the wall for a moment, our hearts beating in time with one another as the water starts to turn cool. I go to pull away and she pulls me back, kissing me, biting my bottom lip hungrily.
“Please,” she begs me. “Again? Please.”
The little nips turn to a kiss once more, deep and long. I let her down and turn her around, taking her from the back as the water runs over our bodies.
It doesn’t matter. I could fuck her in the rain, in the sun, wherever. Whenever. Not a thing has made any fucking sense all day until now. Somehow, she’s made it right again.
Golden sunlight comes in through the curtains, landing on her skin, sending a glow around her red hair as she rides me. My hands are on her tits, fingers squeezing her nipples.
I can feel how close she is and I’m right there with her. I don’t want this to end. I could just stay here fucking her for the rest of my life.
“Oh, God.” She throws her head back and we come together, crashing like waves against each other.
Somewhere along the way, we ended up in my bed having sex until this very moment. And now that she’s come again, she goes limp on top of me, curling up in my arms as I roll her over, kissing her gently.
I want more of her, but my body is betraying me.
I have to lie back, catch my breath. She curls up next to me, her head resting on my chest. And here we stay, dozing as the world turns without us outside my window.
After a little while, I feel her finger slowly tracing one of my tattoos.
I don’t know how close to sleep she is, but I’m still very much awake.