Chapter 16 - Izabel
Thank goodness he got that call.
My mind was racing with reasons or arguments to try to get him to let me go out alone today. The last few days, I’ve been trapped in a mental loop, and the only way out of it is to face it.
I got very lucky when he got the call and had to go to a meeting.
And now I’m alone at the mall with one security guard.
Escape isn’t even on my mind, though.
What’s been worrying me is that twenty-four-hour bug I caught a few days. The twenty-four-hour bug that has now shifted into certain other symptoms that are impossible to ignore.
My boobs are tender. I have strange cramps. My body feels different. My mood is wobbly, and the nausea, while nowhere near as terrible, keeps coming back and then just as fast…completely disappearing.
These are all signs or symptoms of being pregnant if I take a moment to just listen to my body.
But when I first realized that, all I could actually do was flat-out panic.
The morning after being so sick, I woke up without even the slightest hint of the tummy bug at all, and I thought that was strange enough.
But I was relieved, so it didn’t matter.
But later that day, my boobs started hurting.
Then the nausea again. Then certain food smells would make me feel a bit icky, and others wouldn’t.
It was when I counted back the days to figure out if I was late or not that it really became something scary for me.
Two weeks late. And hey, that might not be an issue on its own. My life has been a bit of a roller coaster lately. But with the other symptoms, it was too much.
I’ve been roaming around the mall with this security guard following me diligently.
He’s watched me buy a coat and some soft leather gloves.
He watched me buy a new pad of art paper and walk around the bookstore.
But I’m dragging out time too much here, and I need to do what I actually came here to do.
“I’m heading into the pharmacy. I need some lady products,” I say, finally finding the courage to carry out my plan.
“Oh, uh, right,” he says, his cheeks flushing red. It’s so strange how some guys get so embarrassed the moment a girl mentions anything of the sort. And other guys will happily go buy their girls whatever they need without hesitation.
Lucky for me, the guard is too embarrassed to even follow me into the store.
“I’ll be right out front,” he tells me after he looks in the small pharmacy and is satisfied there is no concern.
“Alright, I won’t be long. Then I just want to stop at one more shop before we head home,” I add, trying to make it all sound as normal as possible.
Just a girl shopping, getting some things. Nothing strange going on at all.
On the way to the counter, I select face cream, conditioner, lip-gloss…
all random items I do not need, but I want other things in the shopping bag, so it doesn’t feel like I’m carrying out an alarm bell in a small brown packet when I walk out of here.
It’s not like the guard is going to check what I purchased, but it’s not the point.
My anxiety is spiking into me like needles when I hurry to the counter and ask the lady to please discreetly put a pregnancy test into a packet for me.
She understands the assignment and rings my other items up with a smile and then slips one into the bag without a word about it. I guess I’m not the first girl to ask her to do this.
“I hope the results are what you want them to be,” she whispers as she hands me my items.
“Thanks,” I say with a flutter of butterflies in my stomach.
What you want them to be.
Did I ever plan to have a baby? No. I never planned it. Not yet, anyway. Am I happy? How can I answer that? Right now, I’m more worried about what Anton will think if I’m pregnant. Will he be angry? Will I be upset?
What in the world do I want the results to be?
Suddenly, I have an overwhelming need to know the answer right now. I can’t even wait until I get home.
Leaving the pharmacy, I tell the guard I have to pee, so we need to stop at the ladies'.
Again, he doesn’t question me.
He stands a little away from the ladies' room doors and waits inside the mall with his hands in his pockets.
I hurry into the bathroom stall and shut the door.
Tugging the pregnancy test out of the paper bag, my heart races while I tear it open.
Pee on the stick.
Clip the lid back on.
Sit on the closed toilet lid with my leg bouncing anxiously while I watch the timer on my phone count down.
I’m too impatient to wait until the timer is up before I look, though, and my heart sinks into the pit of my stomach when I see the second red line is already pretty bold.
I stare at it until my phone beeps. Time's up.
Two solid red lines.
No doubt anymore. There it is. The answer.
And I can’t seem to move.
I’m pregnant.
I’m pregnant with Anton’s child, and my future is so uncertain. And I don’t know if I want to be a mother. I’m a great aunt. Kelsey and Kira are my beautiful little babies, but being a real mom? A mom to my own baby? This is so much.
My head starts spinning, and I quickly toss the test in the trash and do my best to pull myself together.
I can’t figure out what I want, much less how Anton will react or how the hell I’m going to tell him.
My cheeks are bright pink when I look in the bathroom mirror.
I splash cold water on my face, and all it does is make them even more pink. Well, that didn’t work.
I doubt the guard will notice my pink cheeks.
I just want to go home now and wait for Anton.
I want to tell him.
It’s not a secret I want to deal with on my own.
My head is spinning, and I feel a wave of dizziness slam into me. I desperately need some air. The cold water didn’t help on my cheeks, but maybe a minute of fresh air will help.
Hurrying down the hall in the opposite direction of where my bodyguard is waiting, I push open the back exit door that leads to the roof parking.
Icy cold air fills my lungs as I take in a staggering breath.
Just a minute. Take a minute to calm yourself. Then go back inside with a smile on your face and ask him to take you home.
You’ve got this. It’s all going to be okay.
It takes me a little while to stop the panic attack, but when I’m calm again, my head is no longer spinning, and I feel much better.
I push the door open to go back inside and bump into a girl who is coming out.
“Sorry,” she says.
“Sorry,” I mutter as well.
But both of us freeze. Instantly, we know, before we look up, before we know…we know.
“Kayla!” I blurt out at the same time as she says my name.
“What are you doing here?” we say at the same time again.
“I’ve been looking for you. Josiah and I have been secretly looking for you.
We came to Detroit because, well, his biggest enemy is Anton, and we heard enough rumors to suggest he was the one who had you.
So, we came here to find you ourselves. He didn’t want me to join him, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t sit there at home and just hope you’d be okay.
” She is tearful as she pulls me into her arms and hugs me.
“I’m okay, I really am,” I say, hugging her back, genuinely happy to see my friend.
“He's in town today. I just came here to walk around the mall. I had no idea I’d get lucky enough to find you like this,” she blurts out, wiping tears from her face. “Izzy, I’ve been so worried.”
“Where is Josiah?” I ask, suddenly stressed, realizing that this whole situation could turn bad very quickly.
“He’s in town, not far from here. I was walking around the mall a little while he was in a meeting, trying to get leads.
He’s actually fetching me in about fifteen minutes.
It’s just enough time for us to meet him in the parking lot.
” Kayla’s eyes grow wide with excitement. “Where is Anton? Where are the guards?”
“Actually, Kayla, I need to—”
"Come on! Let’s go!” she grabs my hand and starts trying to pull me away from the mall and further into the parking lot.
“No, Kayla, wait.”
I’ve already been gone too long, and my guard is sure to be worried. I have to get back to him. I can’t just disappear like this. I don’t want to.
“Izzy, there’s no time. We have to get you somewhere safe.” She is still dragging me along, bumping me as we move between parked cars. I almost trip over my shopping bags. She pulls me so roughly, I realize it’s pure worry she has for me.
But I can’t leave!
I tug my hand away, agitated, trying to get her to stop for a second so I can explain.
“Kayla, I can’t leave with you now.”
“Why? Has he threatened you? I promise you, Josiah will sort him out. He will make sure you are completely safe.”
“No, it’s not—”
“There she is!” my guard shouts.
My heart sinks into the bottom of my stomach and does several churning spins.
Anton and the guard are running towards us.
The guard grabs Kayla and Anton grabs me.
Kayla tries to scream, but he clamps his hand over her mouth.
“Let her go!” I yell at Anton, but he looks furious with me and ignores all my desperate pleas.
He pushes me into the back of the guard’s car along with Kayla. There are two other security guards in the car too now. He tosses the keys to the guard who was with me at the mall. “Take them home. I’m right behind you.”
Then he storms off and I watch him climbing into his own car to follow us.
My heart is beating so fast I want to cry, but it’s okay. I can still talk to him when we get home. I can get him to understand and let Kayla go.
Kayla is crying next to me, tears of anger more than tears of fear.
“Don’t worry, honey. Josiah will find us!” she whispers to me.
I bite my lip, not wanting to have this conversation in front of the guards.
I’ll sort all of this out when we get home.