Chapter 24 - Izabel
I can see it in his eyes.
My brother’s eyes are full of rage. Full of hate and anger and disappointment. There isn’t any understanding in them, only darkness because I’m refusing to back down.
“Illyin, I’m not trying to be defiant; I’m trying to get you to understand that this is my life.”
“You’re choosing wrong, sister,” he snaps without taking his eyes off Anton. I move to try and block the path of his vision and his gun.
My heart is racing a million miles an hour, and I’m so scared I want to throw up. I’ve never seen my brother this angry before. In all the years that I have been pissing him off and pushing his buttons, he’s never been this furious. It always ended with me teasing him and him laughing at me.
But I can already tell that that is not how this situation is going to end.
There is going to be blood.
It’s all Illyin wants. And he won’t stop until he has it.
I swallow hard, knowing it’s a risk, but it’s the last hope I have of making him back off.
“Illyin, I’m pregnant.”
The words finally grab his attention enough that he looks at me.
When his eyes lock onto mine, I do my best to hold them there.
“You’re fucking…pregnant?” he blurts out, disgust clouding his face.
“I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby with the man that I married. The man that I love.”
I wait, counting my breaths, listening to my heart. Trying to stay calm.
“Pregnant,” Illyin mutters again, but I can see I’ve somehow gotten to him. I’ve managed to reach him.
I take a careful step towards my brother, and his grip on the gun softens.
“Illyin, I am genuinely happy. I know it’s crazy. I know it’s not your ideal version of the life I should have, but what does it matter if I’m happy?”
“This is…” he says, looking down at the ground. “This isn’t right,” he finishes quietly.
“It’s right for me,” I tell him.
Illyin shakes his head. “I want nothing to do with him,” he says, glancing at Anton.
“But I do. I want to spend my life with him. I love him. It’s real.”
He shakes his head again and lowers his arm until his gun is hanging at his side and his finger is no longer on the trigger.
I walk towards my brother, and he holds his hand up to stop me. “Don’t,” he mutters darkly. “I don’t…I can’t…just don’t come near me.”
“Illyin,” I murmur his name, tears stinging my eyes. “I’m still me,” I whimper.
“Yeah. I know. And fine. You can choose whatever you want. But it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
Illyin slides his gun into the holster sitting over his ribs.
The room is still tense, still waiting as though there is a countdown for a bomb.
“That’s it?” Gusec blurts out furiously. “That’s not what we were promised, Toloff!”
“It’s over, Pavel,” Illyin says.
“No, it’s fucking not over! Not until we see Anton’s lifeless body like you fucking promised!”
Gusev Pavel and his men all turn towards Anton at the same time. They all raise their weapons.
Everything happens in the blink of an eye.
I’m staring at my brother in disbelief.
Someone grabs me from behind.
Bullets explode around me.
Gusev’s men start dropping to the floor like flies falling from the air.
There is screaming and shouting and chaos as Anton pulls me into the folds of his security team, behind the protective line of Josiah’s men.
“Move out!” Josiah shouts over the gunfire still piercing the air.
Anton shoves me into a car.
Through the haze of confusion and chaos, I see my brother running towards his car.
“Illyin!” I shout for him, but he doesn’t hear me. I watch as he dives into his car. He is unharmed; he is my brother. I still want to talk to him, to make him understand. I want him to know that I love him, and I don’t want to lose him.
“Keep your head down,” Anton shouts, starting the engine of his car.
I duck low, in a daze, doing as I’m told.
The car pulls out; tires crunch on gravel. There is no more shooting.
I hear other cars. Engines starting, tires skidding.
We’re on the road now.
He reaches out and touches my shoulder.
“Pixie?” his voice pierces through the shock of everything, and I look up at him. He’s driving us home, his hand on the wheel, his face nervously glancing from me to the road. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” I mutter quietly.
“Are you…are you okay?” he asks.
I sit up and take a deep breath. My head is swimming with shock. “I am. I just. I can’t believe Illyin did that. He was going to kill you,” I say, trying to process it all.
“You stopped him. You got him to understand. It’s all over now, I think.”
He brushes his hand over my leg and I nod. It is over now. I think he’s right. But my brother kind of hates me.
“He wants nothing to do with me,” I say quietly.
“He’ll come around, just give him time.”
We drive the rest of the way in silence.
By the time we get home, I have accepted that Illyin can choose his own reactions in the same way that I can choose who I love. And I can’t be angry with him about that. And maybe, yes, one day he will come around.
In the meantime, I have my own beautiful life to live, and finally, after what feels like forever, I am free to do exactly that.
A weight lifts off my shoulders as he parks the car in front of our home.
He turns the engine off and shifts to look at me. “Come on, let’s get you inside. Maybe you want some tea?” he says, brushing the back of his fingers over my cheek. I smile, leaning into his touch.
“Tea and a hot bath,” I nod, looking up at him.
Anton smiles too, and my entire heart suddenly floods with warmth.
Everything is going to be okay. It really is.
We walk up the steps hand in hand, and he opens the door for us. I glance down at my belly and grin. “I’m suddenly so hungry,” I laugh, surprised that I could possibly be hungry after everything that just happened.
“Well, if my wife is hungry, then she must get all the food her heart desires,” he laughs, scooping me into his arms and carrying me cradled against his chest to the kitchen.
Anton sets me down on the kitchen counter with my legs hanging over the side.
I watch him as he goes to the fridge and tugs it open.
“Are you okay?” I ask, letting my eyes trace over him.
His posture stiffens as he stands in the glowing light of the fridge.
“I am. I thought…I thought I had lost you,” he says without looking at me. I can hear the strain in his voice.
“You’ll never lose me,” I say, slipping off the counter and coming to stand behind him. I slip my arms around his waist.
For a moment, we just stand there in front of the open door of the fridge with the harsh light spilling onto us.
He laughs, wrapping my arms tighter around him as I hold him from behind.
“We have Chinese leftovers and…ingredients to make toasted chicken mayo. If you want something else, I can order it or run to the store quickly?” he says, turning in my arms so that he is facing me.
I pull him away from the fridge by taking a step back and closing it behind him.
The room is darker. It feels more peaceful without the harsh fridge light.
“Actually, before we worry about food…”
“I love you, Izabel. I love you more than life itself,” he blurts out. “And when you disappeared, I thought I was never going to see you again, and I have never been more terrified in my life. You need to understand that I can’t actually live without you. I can…you know…but I don’t want to.”
I bite my bottom lip as emotions flood through me and tears of happiness sting my eyes.
I can’t stop them from spilling over and rolling down my cheeks.
“Did I say something wrong?” he stammers, lifting his hand to wipe my tears with the pad of his thumb. “Was it too much? It’s just that…you told your brother that you…you love me. Did you just say it so he wouldn’t shoot me? If I misunderstood, then…”
I stand on my tiptoes, grab his face in my hands, and pull his lips to mine to get him to stop talking.
The kiss is an immediate relief. It sends a ripple of warmth and peace rushing through me. The kiss isn’t just a kiss; it’s our lives, our hearts, our bodies tangled together.
His mouth moves over mine as his hand rests gently on my lower back.
Heat spills through me.
Love explodes inside me.
When I finally pull back, I am smiling so wide and laughing so happily that I’m crying all over again.
“You didn’t say anything wrong, Anton. You said everything right. I love you, too. I never want to be without you. I love you with my entire soul. My entire existence.”
His eyes darken in a different way as he cups his hand over my jaw. His fingers hold me tightly as he stares into my soul.
“Then you are mine, little pixie. And I am yours. And that is how it will be for the rest of our lives.”