29. Emory
EMORY
Devid holds the car door open for me and I step out into the cold.
It's been a long afternoon visiting my father in the hospital, where it was touch and go for a while.
I feel like I've done more crying in the past three days since Gusev attacked than I have my entire life.
Between hospital visits, and a fussy baby with night terrors, I'm not sure how I’m even still standing.
"Thank you, Devid," I tell him as he follows me inside.
I can't believe what Rashid's men can accomplish when they put their minds to it.
Police were in and out, investigating every aspect of this shooting, and I'm sure Rashid has a few of them on his payroll.
But they seem to think it was justified.
Gusev broke in and attacked, and Rashid and his men were well within their rights to defend themselves, though a few weapons were confiscated, and Krispin may very well face a few weapons charges.
He's a good man for taking that fall for his boss.
"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," he says, peeling off down the hallway while I head for the stairs. Even Devid has been nicer lately, not treating me like a prisoner but more like Rashid's partner.
Rashid's given me a longer leash after the attack.
I have use of his cars and his guards whenever I need them, and the only condition is that I don't leave without protection.
There is talk that a skeleton crew of Gusev's men still exist out there seeking revenge, but Devid is convinced they'll swallow the entire organization and all of its moving parts.
Besides, seeing Batya in the hospital is non-negotiable.
Rashid hasn't tried to stop me once. He sends Devid with me every morning, so I can sit holding his hand in case he wakes up.
I climb the stairs expecting to find Lex with Anna in the nursery, but the room's empty. The toys are put away, and Anna's rocker sits vacant by the window. But I hear giggling from down the hall, coming from Rashid's bedroom.
I walk to the doorway and stop. Rashid's sitting on the floor with Lex between his knees, stacking colored blocks on the hardwood.
My boy sets a red one on top of a blue one and looks up at Rashid, grinning as he reaches for another block.
It's heartwarming seeing my son playing with his father happily, especially after what happened that scared us all so badly.
The tower wobbles when Lex places the green one on top, and Rashid reaches out to steady it with a finger, holding it there until Lex lets go. When the tower stays standing Lex claps his hands and shrieks, and Rashid's mouth twitches into a smile.
I stand quietly, leaning against the door frame to watch a man I thought never had a compassionate bone in his body being so gentle and nurturing.
He's learning to be a father. It makes me wonder what Anna thinks of this new version of her son, if she's averse to it or if she's proud of him as I am.
Lex spots and his face lights up. He reaches for me with both hands, knocking the tower over, and he bounces on his bottom and scoots closer. Rashid looks up at me with a warm expression and helps Lex stand up, though he barely takes a few steps before he falls.
"How long have you two been at this?" I ask him, crossing the room and sitting on the floor beside them. Lex crawls into my lap and I kiss the top of his head.
"About an hour," Rashid says, gathering the scattered blocks. "My mother fell asleep after lunch and Aleksandr was restless, so I brought him in here."
I notice he used his name instead of calling him "the boy." Yet another way he's learning to be more human I guess. I set Lex back on the floor between us and hand him a block. He puts it straight into his mouth and I redirect it toward a new stack while Rashid watches.
"How's Oleg?" he asks me, like he did yesterday and the day before. I know my father is to blame for all of this, but it's good that Rashid still remains patient. I think when Batya comes out of this he's going to see that Rashid isn't the monster he's been labeled as.
"Stable," I tell him. "The surgeon says he needs at least one more operation, and after that it's going to be months of recovery. He hasn't woken up, but they say it may take time." I pull a loose thread from Lex's sock and smooth it down. "He looks so old, Rashid."
"He's a sick man, milaya ." Reminding me of my father's diagnosis doesn't help much. Cirrhosis is a dangerous and terminal disease he won't recover from. I don't know how much more time I get with him. I don’t want to talk about Batya's inevitable end, so I change the subject.
"You've stationed guards to watch him?" I haven't seen anyone who looked like a guard, but I know they can hide in plain sight. Rashid promised me, and I know he'll keep his word.
"One outside his door and one in the lobby." Rashid reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm not going to let someone walk into a hospital and finish what Gusev started. He's the grandfather of my son."
Lex stacks a few blocks up then knocks them over on purpose, laughing at the clatter.
Rashid picks them up and hands them back without being asked.
His autopilot is sweet. He's really bonding with our son, and I'm starting to feel like maybe I like it here more than I resent the men in my life for everything that happened.
If Batya and I had been alone when Gusev came for him, we'd both be dead, and God only knows what would've happened to Lex. Batya's way of getting us out of that was twisted, but maybe it was for the best.
"What are we going to do now, Rashid?" I ask him. "Because I keep thinking about it and I don't have an answer. I had a whole life before this. I had classes and a degree I was working on, and a plan to leave St. Petersburg and go to Moscow. I was going to open a gallery someday, my paintings..."
Rashid reaches over and takes my hand, closing his fingers around mine as he draws them to his lips to place a kiss there. "No wife of mine ever has to work," he says.
I pull my hand back. "What did you just say to me?"
"I said no wife of mine ever has to work." He places another kiss on my knuckles. "I want to marry you, Emory. I want to make this official, give you and Aleksandr my name and my protection and everything that comes with both."
"Rashid, you can't say that... I mean... after everything that happened?—"
"I want you, and maybe I'm a fool for rushing into this, but I have to think you stayed single for a reason. I have to believe, maybe you want me too."
I search his eyes, not knowing how to respond. Was that an actual proposal? Is he seriously thinking of making me his wife? But he barely knows me, and he's almost twice my age. And what will his mother say?
All those questions swarm as tears well up in my eyes and he leans over Lex, pressing a warm kiss to my mouth. Lex bats at him, then tugs his tie and makes Rashid smile against my mouth.
"See, the little guy wants in on this action." He picks Lex up and kisses him hard on the cheek and Lex giggles, swatting at him. So he tickles Lex until he's squirming and cackling, then says, "Be right back."
Rashid stands up, taking Lex with him, and rushes out. I'm barely on my feet kicking my shoes off when he comes back, locking the door behind him.
"Where's Lex?" I ask, ready to lecture him about children needing supervision, when he produces a baby monitor where Lex's babbling can be heard. I hear the sound of the mattress squeaking and his rattle banging and know Rashid must've put him in his crib.
"Now, where were we?" he asks, setting the monitor down as he walks over toward me. "Ah, yes, we were about to celebrate you accepting my proposal."
"You call that a proposal?" I ask, snickering.
"Just say yes, and kiss me." Rashid pulls me against his body and I melt into him, letting him devour my mouth. The longer he kisses me, the more I feel drawn into it.
I don't think for a second, not even subconsciously, that he's the reason I never dated or got married.
I think fate just had a way of bringing our paths back to a place they crossed, and now where they run concurrent.
Rashid Krasnov is the last person I ever thought I'd be getting a proposal from, but here I am, wondering if the universe aligned us for a reason.
Maybe I should never have run to begin with.
"You really want to marry me?" I ask, draping my arms around his neck.
"More than anything," he growls, kissing me again and pulling my blouse out of the waistband of my slacks.
"Then prove it, Mr. Krasnov." I back away, taking him by the hand and pulling him toward the bed. "Show me how you treat the queen of an empire." I wink at him and he's on me like an animal, tearing at my clothing.
Rashid pulls me against his body, his hands staying firm on my waist as he kisses me. I whimper into his mouth and let him have his way, yielding to whatever he wants to do to me.
"You are so fucking beautiful," he growls against my lips as he holds me close, making me feel completely wanted in this moment with him. "You are my queen, milaya ."
He tugs my blouse up slowly, fingers brushing my skin so cool air hits my stomach while he lifts it over my head and drops it to the floor beside us. I shiver, feeling chilled by the room and warmed by his heated gaze.
“God, just look at you.” His dark eyes rake over me with hunger. His hands cup my tits through my bra, and I moan while arching into his touch.
"Is this how you worship a queen?" I say with a grin, and he reaches behind me and unhooks the bra.
When it falls away completely leaving me exposed, he leans down with his mouth and sucks hard enough to pull a moan from my throat.
I claw at his shoulders and arch my head back, and he growls against my skin.
"Yes like that," I breathe as the sensations run through my body, making me lean in closer.