Chapter 8 - Kayla #2
“In previous positions, I was not allowed to speak to the larger clients and could only answer direct questions asked by one of my superiors, addressing the superior and not the client,” I explain. “Is that how you would prefer to conduct this meeting?”
He scoffs as though I’ve said the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.
“Kayla, you are brilliant at what you do. I’ve only worked with you for a week, and I can already see how sharp and fucking valuable you are to this company.
Even if you want to interrupt me, or the client, to say something you feel is important, you go right ahead and do it.
I asked you to join me because, honestly, you could probably convince the client to increase the budget without me in the room.
Because I trust you in there, okay? Literally anything you want to add to the conversation—don’t hold back. Make suggestions. Tell me I’m wrong.”
His eyes pierce into me. He trusts me with his biggest client. This knowledge stirs my emotions.
In the past, I’ve worked under some egotistical superiors who were hellbent on taking credit for my work and presenting it as their own, which is why I wasn’t allowed to speak freely.
But I learned to accept it for what it was.
I earned good money. The knowledge I gained was invaluable. I grew my reputation and my skill.
And when the time was right, I started stepping out of their shadows and growing even more. Everything in life is about timing.
But here Josiah is, handing me all the freedom I could ever dream of in my career.
He’s pushing me up, not holding me down.
And all I can manage to mutter is, “Oh.”
“Oh?” He chuckles. “Is that your acknowledgement of what I said?”
I stammer for a moment, tripping over my words. “Sorry, I meant…I really appreciate that. Thank you,” I say, my professional demeanor firmly back in place.
“Good,” he nods, satisfied.
He places his hand on my lower back and pushes me towards the boardroom.
My heart is racing, not only because of the meeting, but also because of his touch.
Dammit, Kayla, focus. This is ridiculous.
***
An hour later, I’m shaking hands with Mr. Carter. He has a firm grip and a massive smile on his face as he turns to Josiah. “This one is a keeper. We want her managing our new budget.”
“I’m already having the files moved to her desk,” he jokes.
“Excellent. Kayla, it was an absolute pleasure to meet you. We look forward to the next meeting in three months to review the new report.”
“It was a pleasure to meet you, too, Mr. Carter. And you, Jackson,” I smile at his assistant.
“You must give me your number,” Jackson says, “just in case I have questions…about the account, of course,” he grins.
Josiah steps forward, positioning himself between Jackson and me in a move that I intuitively read as being possessive.
“Not to worry, you can reach either of us via my assistant, Bianca,” he informs Jackson curtly.
Jackson is a good-looking man in his thirties. He has a gorgeous smile and a friendly, open face.
But I have given Josiah no reason to pull some kind of possessive move like this. Besides, what right does he have to be possessive of me? He’s my husband only because he forced the paperwork on me. Apart from a scribble on a page, it means nothing.
I decide to ignore his strange behavior, and after saying goodbye to the clients, I head back to my desk with a smile on my face.
Josiah follows behind me.
“Jackson does not need your number,” he informs me.
“Thank you for confirming that again,” I say, my voice devoid of any hint of emotion.
“He can speak to me if he has questions about the account,” he says, not letting it go.
I giggle and shake my head.
“What?” he says, looking offended.
“Why are you so worried about the client speaking to me suddenly? I thought you said I have the freedom to say whatever I want?” I muse.
He scoffs and shakes his head. “You do, absolutely. Yes. That’s not what I meant. I just meant…”
I raise my brows and cross my arms over my chest. “Yes?” I ask calmly.
“I’m going to order a roast chicken and mayo sandwich for lunch. Do you want anything?” he growls, his mood turning defensive and sour.
“I’d love the same, thanks.” I press my lips together to hide my amusement.
“Fine, yes,” he blurts out, then turns away from me to walk into his office.
***
This week is flowing so much smoother than last week.
Josiah doesn’t purposefully drive me crazy, and I manage to get a lot more work done. I find my own rhythm within their business system, and by Wednesday, I feel like I belong.
Early Wednesday evening, when I arrive back home, Alara is sitting with the girls in the living room building with giant LEGO bricks.
“A castle?” I exclaim excitedly.
Both girls jump up and run towards me. “Mama!” they squeal in unison.
“Hi, beautiful girls, are you having fun?”
“Yes! We need a crocodile for the castle,” Kira declares, running back to it.
Alara stands up and dusts her hands over her jeans. “I came to visit you and got caught up in some serious construction here,” she grins.
“Looks like you are a professional,” I tease her.
“Oh yes, didn’t you know, I have a degree in LEGO castles?” she grins.
I giggle and drop my workbag onto the sofa, flopping down into the soft pillows so I can kick off my high heels.
Alara sits down and turns towards me, shifting her body to face mine. She bites her lip.
“Kayla, um, the other night…are you okay? I imagine it’s a bit of a surprise to find out something like that…in that way?”
I glance at the girls, my eyes softening as I watch them with love filling my heart.
“I’ll do anything to keep them safe,” I tell her.
“I would too,” she says quietly, glancing at them.
Kelsey runs up to Alara and tries to pull her back into the building. “Come play with us!” she demands.
“I think you have it fully under control,” Alara laughs, brushing her hand over Kelsey’s cheek.
Kelsey decides to abandon the LEGO castle and crawls onto Alara’s lap. “Where is your mommy?” she asks randomly, as five-year-olds love to do.
Alara giggles. “I haven’t seen my mommy in a long time,” Alara says, avoiding the answer because it’s difficult to explain losing a parent to a child without scaring them.
When I first met Josiah, it was one of the things that we had in common. Him having lost his mother, and me having never known mine.
“I haven’t ever seen my daddy,” Kelsey says, playing with the end of her hair, twirling it around her fingertips as she thoughtfully considers her own comment.
My chest tightens. It’s not the first time either of the twins has asked about their father or mentioned him as part of their thoughts, but it is the first time since we moved here and they’ve interacted with Josiah.
“Oh,” Alara says, nervously glancing at me.
“I think I have a daddy, because everyone has a daddy, but my daddy never came to say hello to me, and I don’t know where he is,” she continues mumbling.
I tense up, every muscle in my body going rigid as I nervously wonder if I should intervene and pull Kelsey away from this line of questioning.
But Alara answers before I have a chance to do anything. “But your mommy is the best mommy in the whole world, isn’t she?” she smiles, brushing her fingers gently through Kelsey’s hair.
“She is!” Kira shouts, running over to Alara and squishing herself onto her lap as well, almost suffocating Kelsey in the process. The girls start squabbling and batting at each other with their tiny hands.
“Oh, wow, hang on, none of that,” Alara laughs, nudging them both off her lap and onto the floor at her feet. “Go have your wars elsewhere, young warriors!”
The girls leap up and start chasing each other around with yelps of excitement.
I sit quietly, biting my lower lip while I think about Kelsey and her questions.
“You need to tell them,” Alara says. I glance up at her, and she is watching me closely.
I don’t say anything.
“I know why you want to wait. I get it, that it’s complicated and emotional and probably a challenging thing to work through in your own head,” Alara says gently.
“But right now you’re hiding a massive truth from them.
And they are both very smart girls. Eventually, they are going to sense they’re being lied to about something, and they might not understand what, but it’s not going to be nice for them. ”
I sigh and rub my hands over my face.
“I know. I want to tell them…I just…” my voice trails off, and a heavy silence settles over the living room. The girls' laughter spills down from upstairs, where they’ve made it to their bedroom and are most likely jumping on the bed.
I sigh again and fidget with my hands. The girls have every right in the world to know who their father is. It’s not fair of me to keep that from them, the opportunity to really get to know him.
“Of course, selfishly, I also want the chance to brag to everyone about how beautiful my nieces are,” she when she sees how difficult this is for me.
“I guess it’s not just Josiah who they aren’t getting to know properly. It’s you and Isaak, too. Their family,” I say thoughtfully.
“Exactly. And we are all here, wanting to dote on them, wanting to spoil them…just waiting for you, Kayla.”
After Alara leaves, I’m upstairs, lying in a hot bubble bath, trying to soak away my stress. I close my eyes, but it only lasts two minutes before both twins burst into the bathroom to ask me for chicken nuggets.
“You just had dinner,” I scoff.
“Yes, but that was sushi, and we want nuggets now,” Kira explains, representing both of them.
“But I’m in the bath right now, so I really can’t help you with that,” I sigh.
“But then, who can help us? Where is Joz?” Kira demands.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. He’s probably busy,” I say. “Can you wait until I’m done here? I won’t be long.”
“No, we going to go find Joz,” Kelsey says, spinning on her heel and leaving in a hurry.
I sink lower into the bubbles and sigh.
I’m so torn.
I want to hold onto the one last thing I have control over.
My last bit of power in this strange, challenging situation.
My choice of when to tell the girls. But at this point, I’m starting to realize that clinging to that control is selfish.
Not towards Josiah, but towards my twins.
I have no right to do that to them. They have a whole family just waiting to dote on them. Already doting on them.
I have to tell them.
I can’t keep this a secret anymore.