Chapter 17 - Josiah
She’s wearing a silk pink dress. It’s long, flowing down to the floor, but there is a very tantalizing slit all the way up her thigh. Each step she takes as she walks down the stairs is a tease.
I try my best not to stare, but it’s impossible.
She reaches the bottom of the stairs and leans forward to adjust the silver buckle of her stiletto.
One of the thin straps over her shoulders slips down. When she stands up, I reach out and slowly pull it back up onto her shoulder, letting my hand linger against her skin.
“You look gorgeous,” I say with a smile.
“Thank you, so do you,” she grins, eyeing me up and down, taking in the black pants, white shirt, and black leather suspenders I’m wearing.
Her compliment brings a wider smile to my face.
I hold out my hand, letting her slip her arm through mine. “Are the twins settled now? They were very hyped up when I went to say goodnight to them.” I chuckle, remembering Stella looking like she was on the verge of snapping at them.
“Gosh, they really were hyper today. The whole day. I don’t know what’s gotten into them. But Stella has it under control now. She’s reading them their favorite story.”
“She’s amazing with them,” I remark as I push the front door open for Kayla.
“I adore her. So do the girls. We got really lucky to find someone like her,” she agrees.
Kayla is sitting in the passenger seat of my car.
I am trying desperately to keep my eyes on the road, but her dress has fallen open right up to the top of the slit, and she doesn’t seem bothered by it at all.
Her long legs are fully on display, perfectly shaped, elegant, and looking smooth and silky.
I keep wanting to reach over and put my hand on her skin.
To let the heat from her body soak into me.
“The city looks beautiful tonight,” she remarks, enjoying the colorful lights as we drive past.
“The restaurant you chose for our celebration dinner has some of the best views.”
“Oh, good. I asked them for a table near the window,” she says. “I chose it because the review site I was looking at said they had the best steaks in Chicago, and I’ve been craving steak,” she tells me.
“Fantastic. I haven’t had a good steak in a while! Maybe we should order a lobster, too. Mix it up a little.”
“Mm. That sounds good. Gosh, I’m hungry!”
I chuckle, enjoying the back and forth. It’s strange how I have so little patience for some people, but her, I have everything in the world for her. I could listen to her talk about anything for hours, and I’d enjoy every minute of it.
“Oh, are we here?” she says excitedly when I park outside a tall building.
“It’s right on the top floor,” I tell her, climbing out and opening her door for her. “Look up. You see that slanted glass window?”
“Mm,” she nods, leaning on me a little to keep her balance.
“That whole top piece rotates,” I grin.
“It doesn’t!” she says, shocked. “How did I not know that? I’m the one who booked it!”
I laugh at the expression on her face, the charisma in her smile as she shakes her head at herself.
“I hope I don’t get dizzy while I’m trying to eat.”
“You hardly notice it spinning. You only realize it’s moved when you look out of the window and the view has changed,” I explain.
The plan was for this evening to be a professional, relaxed night out, celebrating the new project and how well it’s started. I am trying so hard to keep it friendly and to maintain my distance. But it’s not working.
The place is beautiful. Candles, soft lighting, live music playing on a stage in the center of the room. Everything about the dinner is romantic.
It’s impossible not to see it as a proper date.
She leans forward to pick up a piece of lobster, holding it delicately between her fingers before slipping it into her mouth.
I watch with fascination as she closes her eyes to savor the flavors. We ordered the lobster as a starter. The steaks will follow shortly. I want this night to last as long as it possibly can.
“That butter sauce is heaven,” she says, licking her lips.
A memory pops into my mind. One of the special moments I can never forget.
“Do you remember that time you ordered lobster, and they told you to choose which one you wanted from the massive aquarium tank at the back of the restaurant?”
She burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand when she let out a little snort.
“Oh, my goodness, I remember that!”
“You made me buy every single one of them. And a bucket. And we left the restaurant right away to go and release them back into the ocean.”
“I saw them do that in a movie once. The idea was already in my head. And—I’d never actually seen lobsters all trapped in such a tiny tank like that. It really broke my heart.”
“And we ended up getting carryout burgers for dinner. Sitting on the beach with our toes in the sand,” I muse, remembering the night.
“It’s one of my favorite memories, actually. That, and the time we went hiking and a raccoon chased you,” she giggles, and it’s the most beautiful sound.
“He hardly chased me…it was more of…”
“You screamed like a girl!” she blurts out, laughing even harder. “Oh, my word, I remember that so well now. You were horrified, and it was so tiny and fluffy and cute!”
“Cute? That thing looks like it had rabies.” I’m laughing too now.
“What about the time we were at the new mall, a week after it opened, and you walked straight into the water feature?” I say, raising my brows at her.
“Oh wow, bring that up. Never mind that you were distracting me with your hand on my butt and I turned to bite you, and that’s when I tripped over the edge of that impossibly low wall and went for a swim.”
“Oh, is that what happened? I see. I didn’t realize it was my fault,” I muse.
Her eyes are glittering. I wish I could capture her face in this moment and find a way to make her smile like this all the time.
“Okay, fine. It might have been my fault,” she rolls her eyes.
Our steak arrives, and we eat while we both continue to fire stories back and forth. Pieces of our past. Beautiful moments that I often long for.
“Do you remember that pink hoodie you wanted so badly, but it was limited edition, and I had to go on such a mission to get it for you?” I ask her, remembering the hoodie well. It looked so damn cute on her.
“The one with the rabbit ears on the hood part,” she says, suddenly speaking softly.
I cock my head to the side, trying to read the shift in her mood.
She looks up at me, her eyes tight. “I was wearing it the day you broke up with me,” she whispers.
My heart clenches.
“Kayla, I need to tell you…”
“No, actually, um, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
” It’s as though a door has suddenly shut inside her.
Her posture has changed. She carefully folds her arms over her chest as though she’s hugging herself, trying to protect herself from that memory.
A memory I think we should discuss. Something I would love the chance to explain to her.
I tried before and she misunderstood me.
I haven’t had the nerve to try again for fear that I would push her away. Every move I make with her has to be the right one. It has to draw her closer to me.
“Kayla, that choice I made…”
“No, please, Josiah, I asked if we could talk about something else." Her eyes are shining as though she’s fighting tears.
I nod, clenching my jaw.
Just at the wrong moment, the waiter arrives.
“Hi, how is your meal this evening? Are you enjoying everything? Can I possibly get you another bottle of wine?” he asks, standing next to the table with a massive smile on his face.
“No, thank you,” Kayla answers for both of us.
“You can bring us the check, thank you,” I say, reading her silent request to go home.
My heart is heavy. I wish the night didn’t end this way.
I haven’t laughed with anyone like I laughed with her and all the memories we shared tonight—how do I tell her that I want it all back?
That those memories mean everything to me.
I want to make new memories with her, and there’s no reason why our lives can’t be that happy again.
In the car, she is quiet and withdrawn.
The need to reach out to her is overwhelming. The silence hanging between us is too heavy.
As I glance across the car to speak to Kayla, I notice something in the rearview mirror.
It’s the same car that was behind us when we left the restaurant. The same car that turned off when we left Main Street.
Every muscle in my body goes rigid as my senses become ten times more heightened.
“We’re being followed,” I tell her calmly, not giving away even an ounce of my own anxiety.
I have been in these situations before. Far too many times to count. Usually, I am calm, but this is different.
Because she’s right here next to me, and I want to keep her safe. I have something to lose. Something that would destroy me.
I take a sharp left, testing my suspicions, and the car behind me speeds up, giving chase.
Kayla lets out a yelp of surprise and sinks lower into the seat.
“Josiah,” she cries out my name as though pleading with me to keep her safe.
“It’s okay. The car is armored. We're safe in here,” I tell her.
“Armored? Like bulletproof?” she blurts out, even more horrified.
I have to try to shut out her fear so that it doesn’t distract me. Keep her alive, get her out of here. Don’t let them take her.
When a bullet smacks into the side of my car, I realize they are trying to herd me in a specific direction, so I turn towards the gunshot instead of away from it. Kayla screams and ducks lower.
A car revs into the middle of the road, and I push my foot harder against the accelerator, refusing to stop, refusing to veer off course.
The attacking car is pushed out of the way and up onto the sidewalk. The sound of metal against metal pierces through everything else for a moment, then goes silent as I break free from the other car.
I speed away from them as they open fire again.
I turn corners and race up side streets. I maneuver my car with expert precision, and when I reach the street I'm aiming for, I turn sharply into an underground parking lot and press a button on my remote to close a thick steel rolling door.
My breath is so heavy I can’t hear myself think.
I wait, holding my breath with my eyes on the rearview mirror. I wait to hear the car drive past. I wait to hear more gunshots. She is frozen next to me, not daring to move or say a word. The entire car is charged with anticipation.
Finally, the car drives past, and I breathe a sigh of relief. They didn’t see us turn in here.
Kayla does as well, reading my body language.
“Are they gone?” she asks in the softest whisper.
“We’re at a safe house. I can’t know for sure that they won’t be driving the streets tonight in search of us, so we’ll stay here until morning,” I tell her, pushing the car door open.
My body is shaking, but I clench my muscles to hide it.
“Come, let’s get inside,” I tell her, offering her my hand as I pull her door open.
She climbs out of the car and follows me through three security gates, each with its own security code.
She doesn’t release my hand until we are in the apartment, and even then, it’s not by choice.
I pull my hand away from hers because I can feel the shaking getting worse now that we are safe inside. Adrenaline mixed with an intense fear is pulsing through my veins.
She reaches out and grabs my hand back into hers, glaring at me.
“You’ve been shaking since you got out of the car. And now it’s worse. Why would that scare you so much?" she demands. "A man with a bulletproof car who lives the life you live?”
Her voice is stern and confrontational.
I clench my jaw and shake my head, trying to control my thoughts.
But the emotions are surging inside me. My head is spinning.
Don’t shout at her. Stay calm. It’s impossible.
“This!” I blurt out. “This is everything I wanted to keep you safe from!”
She lets my hand go, and I push both hands against my face, trying to calm down. But I can’t.
“Don’t you get it, Kayla, can’t you see?
I was so fucking in love with you, and the idea of losing you, of anything bad happening to you because of me…
because of who I am…I couldn’t risk it. That’s why I pushed you away.
That’s why I had to make you think I wanted nothing to do with you—I couldn’t risk you coming back.
But it broke me. I was devastated afterwards.
Destroyed. I have never felt agony like that in my life.
It ripped me apart inside, and I have never been the same.
I…I can’t stop loving you.” My voice becomes soft as the energy slips away from me.
I wait for her to shout at me. To rage and protest. But she is just staring at me in shock.
She doesn’t say anything.
“I had to choose you over my own happiness. I had to choose your safety over my selfish desire to keep you,” I mutter, trying to make sure she understands this time.
“Josiah,” she whispers my name. It falls from her lips softly, delicately.
She takes a step towards me and lifts her hand to touch my face.
I lean into her outreached hand and let her fingers brush over my skin.
Closing my eyes, I am drowning in longing.
I feel her step even closer to me, and when I open my eyes, my heart leaps in my chest.
She threads her fingers around the back of my neck and pulls my lips to hers.
The entire world fades to nothing as I lift her in my arms.