Fire on the Island #3
She wanted to pull herself upright, wanted to run to her mother’s embrace, but she felt she had to try to get some clean air into her lungs first. She lay on the grass, gasping in air, coughing up murky colored phlegm and watching, heartbroken, as the cabin blazed.
Then her mind, clearing from her ordeal in the house, once again admitted the sight of Marie and Vivian on the dock.
A wail of anguish erupted from Marie, and she lunged toward the house, but Vivian wrapped her arms around Tess’s mother, holding her back from rushing into the inferno.
Vivian’s face was bright red and streaked with tears and her body wracked with sobs.
For several minutes, Tess lay on the ground, panting and coughing while the sounds of Marie’s wailing and Vivian’s sobbing rose over even the roar of the fire.
They both finally quieted for a moment, lying in a heap on the dock, then Marie pulled herself away from Vivian and stood with a look of such fierce anger on her face Tess could hardly believe she was watching her own mother.
“I can’t believe you would do this with him!” screamed Marie.
“I tried to stop him,” said Vivian between sobs. “I did! But you know Harry.”
“Do I? Do I know Harry? Because the Harry I know wouldn’t have done this. Wouldn’t have risked this.”
“He wanted to try.”
“And don’t tell me you couldn’t stop him. I’ve seen you two conspiring all summer. This is as much your fault as it is his.”
“Please, Marie, listen to me. Ever since he thought we might have a chance—”
“A chance for what?” said Marie. “For more loss and more tragedy?”
As the voices continued, repeating the same accusations and the same denials, Tess realized two things.
First, she agreed with Vivian. It wasn’t her fault.
Once Harry had decided on something, there was no way Vivian could talk him out of it—anyone knew that.
Yes, Vivian had gone along with the affair, but who could resist Harry?
No, this was Tess’s fault. She could have stopped it.
She could have marched into that forbidden circle and confronted Harry.
She would have angered him and embarrassed him, but he would have stopped.
He would have shouted at her, and maybe even not spoken to her for a few days, but that would have been a small price to pay. No, this was all her own fault.
The other thing Tess realized was that neither Marie nor Vivian was looking for her.
Had they forgotten her in the heat of their argument, the depth of their despair at apparently losing Harry?
She couldn’t imagine that. They must believe she was dead.
And if they thought she was dead, and yet she was alive, maybe Harry was alive, too.
Hope leapt in her chest, propelling her to her feet, and Tess sprinted down the hill toward the dock shouting, “I’m alive. It’s me, Tess, I’m alive.”
She arrived, breathless on the dock, still coughing from the smoke, but certain that her salvation would be a bright spot in this tragic night.
“No,” said Marie, backing away from her, her expression suddenly turning from grief to horror.
“Tess?” said Vivian, looking confused. “Is that really you? Can it really be?”
The two women stared at Tess without moving, stunned, apparently, to see she had survived the fire.
“I did what Harry taught me,” said Tess. “I stayed low and crawled, and I made it out of the house.”
“You,” said Marie, in a voice Tess had never heard directed at her—a voice of disgust and contempt. A voice Tess couldn’t comprehend. “This is all your fault. Harry’s dead and it’s all your fault.”
“Dead?” said Tess, who had known he must be but who still couldn’t coax her mind into comprehending the fact.
“But, Marie,” said Vivian, stepping toward Tess. “It’s a miracle. It’s Tess.”
“Don’t you think I fucking know who it is?” said Marie. “It’s absolute proof that this is her fault as much as it is yours!”
Tess stared at her mother in confusion. Where was the joy at her daughter’s survival? Where were the hugs and kisses, the tears of relief?
“It’s not her fault,” said Vivian, reaching out to Tess and pulling her into an embrace. “She didn’t even know.”
“Yes, I did,” said Tess pulling away from Vivian and looking beseechingly at her mother. “I did know. I heard you and Harry, and I knew, and I could have tried to stop you, but I didn’t. So, you’re right. It is my fault.”
“No, it’s not, honey,” said Vivian. “You’re just a child. You couldn’t possibly understand. And you couldn’t have stopped Harry any more than I could have.”
But Tess knew. Marie was right. This was all her fault. If she had marched out and confronted Harry and Vivian, everyone might be shouting and fighting, but Harry would be alive, and the house wouldn’t be burning down.
“Marie, look at her. She’s here. She’s alive. This is your daughter.”
But Marie turned away and looked out across the lake where the lights of a boat were approaching. “I don’t have a daughter,” she said.
At that moment, in a roar of sparks and flame, the house in which Tess had known so much happiness collapsed.
But Tess only looked to the end of the dock, where Marie had stepped into Harry’s boat and was starting the motor.
A moment later, she pulled away from the dock, leaving Tess and Vivian, clinging to each other in the firelight.