Chapter 35 #2
She let it go. If this was the last time he’d lavish her with these little attentions she’d begun to like, then she might as well enjoy it.
They walked quickly home, neither one of them saying anything.
The streets were quiet given the hour. When they arrived back, Spike greeted them at the door, barking excitedly.
“Was he alone this whole time?” she asked as the puppy launched himself at her leg.
“No, I had Dean come over. Turns out he’s a good dog walker. They’ve become pals. Jacqueline won’t go for a pooch, so Spike is the closest he’ll get to having one.”
Leaning down to pet him, she clenched her eyes shut as he gave her his little puppy kisses, her heart clutching as she realized her time with him was ending too. “I’ll settle Pierre for the night.”
Kyle finally picked Spike up. She knew he’d been waiting, giving them an opportunity for their usual greeting. Another clever move, but that was Kyle. “I’ll put Spike in his bed too and meet you back in a bit.”
If she dawdled a little bit with Pierre, who could blame her?
She figured it was her opportunity to summon some control and prepare for the horror ahead.
When she finally walked out, she heard the sultry Latin music and caught the glow of candlelight.
Her throat caught. God, he’d lit the Romance Shrine and opened their nightclub.
Clenching her hands at her sides, she went in search of him and found him in the kitchen, holding a carton of ice cream and one spoon, looking as gorgeous as ever with his ash brown hair ruffled from his hands and his suit jacket casually open.
“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” she managed hoarsely.
“I was hoping to make it easy.” The tension in his body said otherwise. “Tonight might have been awful, but you and me…there’s nothing better.”
Her chest felt like it had been cracked open. “When were you going to tell me you were thinking about marriage? Kyle, I’m not a wife. You should know that. There is nothing wifey about me.”
His brow furrowed. “So, we’re going to start there, are we? All right. I thought you understood what I intended when I talked about this only being the beginning of you and me.”
“Clearly I missed the marriage part.”
She watched as he set the ice cream back in the freezer and laid aside the spoon. Crossing to her, he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a red ring box. Her mouth dropped open in shock.
“That’s a—”
“Yes,” he mused with a smile as he opened it and turned the simple diamond in the light.
Her breath caught—it was exactly what she would have chosen for herself if she’d ever let herself even think of such things.
“I don’t happen to care if we stand before some official and do the paperwork,” he said, holding her gaze, “but I love you and you love me. We’re best friends, Mad.
Life partners. We’ve made a home together.
When I said this is only the beginning, I wanted you to understand I want a future.
You’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and this ring is me telling you in tangible terms how serious I am. Because words aren’t enough with you.”
God, he’d nailed her feelings on that point, but a ring? Biting her lip to keep it from trembling, she put her hands on her hips. “Kyle, you’re not thinking right—”
“Bullshit.” There was a frightening resolve in his voice. “You have some idea in your mind about marriage and what you deserve. Forget the wife crap. I love you exactly as you are. I don’t want you to be anything but what you’ve been with me. Which is fucking perfect.”
The force of his words slammed any response down in her throat.
“I bought you this ring and planned to ask you to make that commitment with me, even though I know most chefs don’t wear rings. And I told my parents what I intended tonight because I wanted them to understand how serious I am about you.”
Her heart pulsed thickly, finally understanding the full depth of his feelings. Hearing it only made the pain worse.
“For all their faults, my parents understand how serious marriage is.” He turned the ring to catch the light.
“It means forever, and that’s what I want with you.
It’s what I’ve wanted from the start. It’s what I believe you want.
Because you’ve shown up for me as much as I’ve shown up for you, Mad. At least be honest about that.”
She couldn’t lie. Not to Kyle. “Fine. That’s what best friends do…and whatever else we’ve become. A couple? I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter now. Something happened tonight that sealed my fate, and it’s time for you to know everything.”
Telling him the story didn’t make it less of a train wreck. Her emotions were as dangerous and volatile as a boiling stew on the stove. When she finished, he shook his head.
“You have no idea how sorry I am,” he said hoarsely, the first crack in his normally confident demeanor. “I thought having Flaubert come by would help, not hurt. I wanted you to have your star at Nanine’s. I wanted it for Nanine and our roommates and for everyone who’s worked so hard for it.”
She stood silently, hurting in the wake of how much pain was pulsing between them.
“But we deal with what we have. Dassault will do what he will. We can’t control that. Does it suck? Big-time. Is it horribly unfair? You bet. But I’ll do everything in my power to minimize the damage to Nanine’s and you. I will do better by you and for you. I promise.”
The burn in her eyes was back. “Kyle—”
“Mad, I know you’re going to say you need to move to another restaurant so you can pursue your star.”
“Did you not hear what he told me?” She slashed her arm through the air. “I know bullies. Dassault is dead serious. I’m on his shit list. At this point, I’m just hoping Dassault won’t be able to blackball me from the entire culinary industry. Kyle, he said he’d ruin me and anyone who helped me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“When have you ever known me to be ridiculous?” she shot back.
“In my old neighborhood, when a guy said something like that, he made calls. Word got around. That’s how it’s going to be here.
Don’t you remember how it was before? No big critics came to Nanine’s after Dassault doubled down.
Nanine was lucky Bernard could afford to buy the building because who knows what Dassault might have pulled otherwise. ”
He compressed his mouth before saying, “Sure, he’s got sway, but you have presided over the meteoric rise to fame of an already famous Parisian restaurant. Your reputation is strong and well established in the public eye.”
She wished she could believe it. The culinary world was a boys’ club, and the men at the top with Michelin stars were a tight clique.
They stuck together. They wouldn’t appreciate that she’d ordered someone like Dassault out of her restaurant.
Especially because she was a woman. There were men who would want to make an example of her.
“I’m not so sure. I have a fight ahead. Of that I am certain. ”
“I’ll be beside you wherever you feel is best for your career.”
That he didn’t hesitate hurt like no physical injury ever could. “I can’t ask that of you, Kyle. I love you too much.”
He closed the distance between them and lifted her chin, gazing down at her with so much love she had to bite her lip to fight back tears. “You didn’t ask. I’m offering. I’m going to hate leaving Paris, but—”
“You can’t leave Paris! Everything you’ve worked for and wanted is here.”
“You’re my family now.” He cupped her cheek with aching tenderness.
“You asked what Operation Kyle was when we first started. Well, I figured it out. I want a home, a real home. Where people love each other and listen to each other and laugh together and support each other no matter what. I’ve always wanted that, and I want it with you, Pierre, and Spike, and anyone else we want in our lives.
So don’t you dare tell me you’re getting rid of me because of what happened tonight. ”
He didn’t understand what he was giving up. “You’re the head of The Paris Roommates Group. We have businesses here. You’re starting a new restaurant with my mentor, for heaven’s sake! You can’t just up and leave.”
Dassault could ruin him too if he joined her. He could try to ruin her entire Paris family.
“I’ve managed businesses remotely before,” he said with that same determined glint in his blue eyes. “What else do you have as an argument?”
He was cutting her legs out from under her. “I won’t have time for you. You know how tough it is starting in a new restaurant.”
“We made it work here,” he quickly added, feathering back her hair with a gentle touch. “We’ll do it again. 12:01 a.m., remember? Next?”
She had to push him back and give herself some space. “You’re not thinking things through. You don’t know what you’re talking about giving up.”
He let her step back, but he didn’t let her look away. “Mad, there’s nothing you can say that’s going to make me back down. We’re in this forever, you and me. That’s why I showed you the ring. It’s corny, but a diamond means forever.”
“God, why can’t you let me be noble here! I want to smack you. Kyle, I need to get my star if I still can. I couldn’t live with myself if I gave up on it. I don’t know what I’m facing now after what happened tonight. I might need to pull out of The Paris Roommates Group officially.”
“I’m fine with silent partners,” he countered.
“We might need to change the name anyway when we franchise. Do you have any idea how many chefs have reached out to me about creating a restaurant? I figure launching you in a new one makes sense if you feel you have to leave Nanine’s, which I know you’re doing to be noble. ”
She almost grabbed him by the lapels. He wasn’t listening.
“Where do you want to open it? Madrid? Rome? I like those cities. You tell me, and we’ll make it happen. Fuck Dassault. You’re winning that star, and I’m going to be beside you when you do. Wherever you want to live.”
Why wouldn’t he just let her go? “Don’t you get it?
If you side with me, you could be a pariah too.
It could hurt The Paris Roommates Group and our friends.
I won’t let you do that, Kyle. Right now, it doesn’t sound tough, but I know what it’s like to be alone with everyone around you determined to see you fail.
You’re not built for it. You’ve been the Golden Boy your whole life.
Look at how personally you’ve taken tonight.
This new situation could ruin what you believe about yourself. ”
He tried to gather her against his chest, but she stepped further away. “Mad, you’re not making any sense. Sure, I had a low moment, but I know who I am, and so do you. We’ll face what comes together.”
She threw her hands up in the air. “I’ll be working all the time! It might be in Barcelona if Chef Fort will still give me the job—I didn’t mention it, but it’s my best offer so far. Your Spanish is beginner level, and it’s a different kind in Barcelona anyway. Catalan is—”
“What a wonderful chance for full immersion,” he only answered, holding up the ring box still in his hand. “You’re my forever. There’s nothing you can do to change my mind.”
So she was going to have to step away. Talking was getting her nowhere.
“Then think of me. I couldn’t live with myself if Dassault hurt you or anyone I loved.
I won’t risk it. So I’m leaving. This thing between us is over.
I hereby decree us best friends again. You will stay in Paris and run The Paris Roommates Group and live your life here, and that’s it. ”
Turning around, she walked out of the kitchen, her vision suddenly blurring. Oh God! Not now.
Breathing shallowly, she pulled her coat out of the closet and tugged it on quickly.
She heard his determined steps following. When he reached the entryway, he swallowed thickly. “Mad, I won’t let you run away.”
“Too bad. It’s already done. I’ll let you know where to send my things. I’ll finish out at Nanine’s until you can find another chef. Tell Dean to bring Pierre by the restaurant until I’m finished, but he and Jacqueline should plan to start taking care of him permanently.”
She needed to get out of here as fast as she could and shore up her walls.
He finally put the ring box in his suit jacket. “Don’t do this, Mad. Stay. It’s late—”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “I know how to take care of myself.”
“Dammit, Mad!” He raked a hand through his hair. “I knew you were stubborn, but this is your home. I’ll understand if you want to sleep alone, but at least sleep here. Think about what I’ve said.”
If she stayed, she was afraid she wouldn’t have the strength to leave him. Best to start moving now when it was the only way forward. Alone. “I can’t.”
His blue eyes shone way too brightly for her peace of mind. “This isn’t over. I love you too much to let you step away from me—from us—like this.”
She wanted to trace his jawline once last time. “It’ll be better in the long run, Kyle, you’ll see.”
Because if she had to choose, she could live without winning a star, but she couldn’t let Dassault ruin Kyle’s life or their friends’ lives over her.