29. Paige
Anxiety wracks my body as I watch Max storm out, the doors slamming behind him and echoing through the large room while my heart pounds so wildly that I almost question if it’s possible to bruise the inside of your ribs. It’s not even two seconds that Maxon’s been gone before the male instructor slips in front of me and pulls me into dance form with him, quickly guiding the dance to match the rest of the participants around us. I smile at him gratefully, realizing how it must have looked to everyone else with the sudden way Max stormed out of here, leaving me alone in the middle of the dance floor quite literally.
“I’m okay, really.” I say with a tight smile, but in my head I’m chasing after Max, making sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. Although I know that his bike will outrace my car any day.
Oh, I hope he’s safe.
My mind replays the look on his face when he asked if the conversation was the same as the one before I left. When had he found out about that conversation? Did Fiona tell him about it? She must have, we were the only two that knew that conversation even took place… or at least, I thought we were. I’ve spent years trying to keep that conversation a secret, pushing Max away in order to protect him and myself.
Sure, Maxon has his flaws.
Although, even as I think about it, the list seems shorter than it used to be.
“You are trying to lead the dance, you need to let your partner lead.” The instructor says to me, his eyes darting down to our feet between us. “And you need to relax, it’s just a dance.” He smiles and a part of me wants to do as he says, but the other part isn’t present enough to actually listen.
“I’m sorry.” I say with a shake of my head. “I’m hopeless. I’m not even meant to be dancing, I only came to watch.”
He makes a dismissive noise. “Everyone is meant to dance. But everyone is not meant to lead.” He gives me a pointed look and I press my lips together to keep the guilty smile from my face.
“Sorry.” I repeat.
A throaty chuckle escapes him, his chest rumbling for a moment. “Is your partner planning on returning?”
I glance towards the doors. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, I guess his loss is my gain.” The instructor says with a wide smile and I can’t help but return it with one of my own, although, mine fades far faster than his.
When the next set of new steps comes, Tim goes back to his wife to demonstrate the steps and I slink off towards the edge of the room, sitting down at one of the tables that’s covered in bags. Tim shoots me a dissatisfied look but doesn’t pressure me to continue dancing, and instead I snag my phone from my bag and type a quick text.
Paige Knox: Max? Please don’t do anything rash. I’m fine. Fiona is just a lot of talk. Please calm down.
I wait impatiently for some kind of response, watching as I see that he’s opened the message and then the three little bubbles that indicate he’s typing.
Maxon Grant: I let you go once because of her. I’m not letting that happen again.
Paige Knox: I’m not going anywhere
And as I type, I realize how heavy those words are. Maxon has said them repeatedly so easily and flawlessly that I didn’t realize the kind of weight they carried for the person speaking them, only the weight that I felt as the person hearing them. But as I hit send, I feel as if I’m sending my entire heart with it, promising him a future and a place in it and I wish I could have said it in person instead.
This is what Max has been promising me.
His future, a place at his side regardless of anything and everything that comes at us. He’s been promising me that I wouldn’t have to deal with things on my own anymore, not when I’m sick, not when I’m overwhelmed, not when I’m dealing with foul people. He’s promising that he loves me.
“Hey, everything okay over here?” Theo’s voice draws my attention from my phone and I’m staring up at him with wide eyes, my brain drawing a blank other than the words that I can’t take back the second they leave my lips.
“He loves me.”
Theo’s brows shoot up, an uncomfortable look taking over his expression as he runs a hand across the back of his neck. “Um, I don’t know how I’m supposed to take that.” He shoots a glance over his shoulder towards the rest of the group, and I realize the class is starting into another set of steps. “I’m assuming we’re not talking about Tim?”
I let out a breathy laugh, shaking my head slightly. “No, I’m not talking about the instructor.”
There’s a moment of silence and Theo scuffs his shoe against the floor uncomfortably. “How long has this been going on between the two of you?”
“That’s a loaded question…” I stare at the phone in my hands, waiting and hoping that Max responds. He hasn’t even read the message which leads me to believe he’s either still on the road or he got to the house and is fighting with his dad and stepmom.
“Paige?” Theo presses and I bite down on my bottom lip, the pain grounding me for a moment before looking back up at my brother.
“It’s kind of been an on-again off-again thing since high school.” I confess.
To say that this answer was not the one he was expecting would be an absolute understatement going off his shocked expression. “Since high school? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
I shoot him an incredulous look. “Really? You have to ask that? Max is Aspen’s best friend, things would have been weird if we were openly dating. Aspen would have been weird.”
“No more weird than he ever is.” Theo argues and I can’t help but let out a laugh at his easy insult of his brother. “Wait, so while Mom was setting you up on blind dates you were in a relationship with Maxon?”
I shake my head. “I said ‘on-again, off-again.’ And it’s been ‘off” for a while.” I let out a sigh. “It’s only been like the last month that things have changed… I don’t know. It’s weird.”
“I think you have a lot of explaining to do Paige, to everyone.”
I look up to him. “You’re not telling anyone about this.” I say leveling him with a look that must have come across far scarier than I thought because he takes a step back, hands raised in surrender. “At least not until I figure everything out.”
“I’m not going to say anything.” He says, his expression softening. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. What happened?” He nods back towards the door where Max had disappeared.
I shake my head, lost for words. “It’s a long story…”
Theo glances over his shoulder towards Sadie who’s started over toward us, then settles in the chair across from me. “I’ve got the time.”