Chapter 11
Max
As night descends, I hunker into the plush bed, allowing the tonic Cully brewed for me to ease the thumping in my head. Made from white willow leaves and something spicy, it’s the only thing that seems to dull my senses, allows my magic to rest and with it, my defenses.
Sighing, I close my eyes, mind floating to the morning.
When Nafre said to be wary, to hide, when the heir warned me of the halls, I never expected this danger—never expected a lord to try to assault me. The pain, the drums beating in my skull were too much to hear him approach and it made me vulnerable.
He tried to take from me. Make me his prey.
I reacted. My powers, the fierce energy that rises when I’m in danger, lashed out, and it was only sheer luck that I didn’t crush his heart.
How would I hide that?
Guilt threatens to rise, but I shove it away. I will not mourn my reaction to a man who tried to use me like property. Letting my evil magic control him most likely kept him alive.
What does worry me, is the heir witnessing my lapse of control.
He saw my magic. He saw me bend the lord’s blood, saw my fingers. I cannot hide when someone like him has seen my deepest secret.
Nessa always warned me about my magic—about how it takes, feeds off of others, how it will lead me to ruin if I do not control it.
I’ve handed my enemy the one thing that could destroy me. What if he tells the lords, allows them to take me? I’m at risk now.
It was worse to touch him after.
Whenever I’m around another living being, my power hones in on their heartbeats. The thumping of their blood, the pounding of their heart washes over my mind, fills my ears. It’s enough to drive anyone insane.
It’s why I hide, why I practice control. Why I’ve built mental shields to keep the drums out. Why I never give in.
Yet, when my shields were shattered and I was with the heir, it was quiet. No rushing in my ears, no drums in my head. Blessed silence.
My magic didn’t react to him—it’s calmed by him. I’m not sure what to make of that.
No matter what my magic might feel, I cannot trust him. My body might shiver in his presence, and my irritation rises at his arrogance, but he is the literal enemy within these walls.
And with my secret, he could doom me.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
The door to my chamber opens and I crack one eye to see Tay stride in from my warm cocoon of blankets.
He’s freshly dressed. Instead of the rich purple of this morning, he’s in a lavender waistcoat, copper dyed leather pants and shiny boots.
“Get out,” I croak, burying further into the blankets. If I burrow far enough, maybe he won’t be able to reach me.
I hear him tsk, and then I’m cold.
Covers flutter to the floor and I squawk something embarrassing, bolting upright.
“C’mon, Max. Get up. We have another ball to attend.”
“Again?” I growl. I don’t want to be around more people, more men, nor anywhere near the heir.
What if he’s told everyone my secret? I’m not ready to face that.“What is it with this palace and balls?”
The people are starving and yet, Griffin throws elaborate balls for people he barely knows. He could use his money on his people.
Unless that isn’t the case at all. Quietly, I file my suspicion away for later.
Tay comes closer, white dreads now pulled over his shoulder, amethyst gems threaded along the strands.
He’s handsome, but exasperated with me “It’s in celebration, Max.
After you fled the talks,” he gives me a reproachful look and I roll my eyes, “we all came to an agreement. The Dark Fae agreed to lead us into the forest, scout the area, and help us navigate. Once we locate the Crimson Army, we’ll send for Griffin’s reinforcements. ”
At my surprised look, he chuckles. “Yeah, I was just as shocked.”
“What do they get out of it?” I swing my legs over the edge, ignoring the urge to hide back under my covers. This place isn’t safe and the anxiety in my gut is making leaving this bed difficult.
“We agreed to trade,” Tay says, shifting slightly.
I whistle. He’s guilty of something. “What did you do? Sell the Coven?”
Tay rolls his eyes, looking to the ceiling for divine guidance. I’m sure Cella and Ger are not listening. “I didn’t sell the Coven.”
“Then, what?” I stand, peering up at him. It clicks as soon as he looks away. “Oh Gods, you traded them water.” I snort. “Nafre and the elders are going to be so mad at you.”
“They didn’t want anything else,” he gripes. “In order to gain peace, we needed guides into the forest. They wouldn’t do it for free. So we offered to open trade with Zelos.”
“But you offered water?” I ask, disdain making my voice break. Gods, I sound horrible. “The one resource we have. And you just gave it to the enemy?”
Tay sighs, pinching his brow. “It’s a matter of life or death for Neevea, Max. Besides, it’s my Coven. I know how best to protect it.”
I flinch. It’s always their Coven—never mine.
Crossing my arms, I look away. “Great. You gave a tyrant the only power the Blackwoods Coven has. What do we get out of this? Just guides?”
“Allies,” he corrects, clasping my shoulder. “The Dark Fae are powerful. The Coven is in shambles and we need allies to help us rebuild. With their help, the Coven could be great. With the Dark Fae locked in agreement with us, we stand a chance.”
I nod. It makes sense, but I don’t trust it—them. “All this to unite Neevea? To defeat a common enemy? Hope?” It’s a lot.
Tay’s eyes look at me softly, shrugging. “I did this for you too.”
Eyebrows raising, I ask, “How so?”
“You were in those woods.” Tay shrugs, flicking my nose. I wrinkle my face, glaring at him as he continues. “You stumbled out, neck bleeding, and I knew I had to help you. I shouldn’t have been there that day.”
I remember. Tay had ignored his mother’s orders, and instead of harvesting herbs, had wandered close to the border of the wards where I appeared.
“We knew it was the army that had tried to kill you. You lost everything because of them.” My throat clogs with emotions but I fight the urge to show it. “So, if I have to give water to a few monsters to see justice served? If I have to hurt a few elders’ feelings by uniting Neevea? So be it.”
I can only nod past the warmth in my chest. He’s risking a lot by trying to give me closure and I can’t fault him for his protectiveness. It’s who he is.
His eyes search my face. “You alright, Max? I expected more comments. Maybe a reminder of how stupid I’m being. Instead, you seem withdrawn.” He smirks. “More so than usual.”
Smirking, I tug my hair to hide my neck.
I can’t confide in him about the attack.
It’ll lead to questions about the heir and what he saw—and I remember Tay’s fear when he saw me use my magic on the Crimson soldiers.
After what he just said, I can’t bear to see him look at me that way again. Like I’m a monster.
Tay might love me like a sister, but he fears me.
What’s one more secret?
“My head is just killing me.” I rub my temples. “Cully made me a brew, so it’s finally helping.”
He grins. “Gods, I love that man.”
Regardless of how my stomach rolls with the secrets I’m keeping, I smile at his affection for his intended. Gods, I would love to find someone and love them as much as Tay and Cully love each other.
He jerks a thumb at the closet, my remaining dresses hanging inside. “Get dressed. We’re already late.”
Flipping him off, I groan, gathering a glittery dress that looks like an artist painted the night sky on to its skirt. It’s a wide ballgown, with a high neck to cover my scar, and it makes me feel like a princess. But it’s a pain to button.
Coming out, I gesture to my back, smiling sheepishly. “Help me out.”
He rolls his eyes, fingers quickly finishing the dress. One finger taps my shoulder blade. “You should see if I can heal old scars. My magic is growing.”
My hand covers the spot, feeling the glassy skin of an healed burn. It’s from the debris falling from my village—I assume.
“Maybe another time.” It’s the only piece I have left of a memory I can’t recall. I don’t want to lose another piece of myself.
Facing the mirror, Tay helps me gather my dark locks into a knot on top of my head, a few strands drifting down my back. If not for the sunken eyes or the blinding red of my lips, I’d be almost pretty.
But I know what I am—who I am.
The Coven called me a monster. Returning to the ballroom, seeing everyone dancing, pretending to be one of them with blood on my hands, I feel every bit of their claims.
Quickly, we head toward the back tables, away from the large ornate fireplace. Before we can sit, a Human mother and daughter intercept, blocking our path.
I bite back a curse as I stumble, Tay bowing like a gentleman.
“Lord Taylay,” the mother begins and I fight back a snort. No one calls Tay that at home. “Would you give us the honor of a dance with my darling daughter, Eloise?”
Tay’s pained smile makes me giggle. “I would be honored, ma’am.”
“She’s heard all about your Coven,” the mother continues sweetly and I can’t stop the snort from slipping past my lips. She’s laying the compliments on thick. “You’ve got magic, is that right? A healer among your people?”
“He is, indeed,” I say enthusiastically, patting his arm. “Very skilled. Very powerful. The only one in the Coven to possess magic.”
The mother’s eyes turn hungry. Ah. This mother is hoping for a court match and Taylay’s magic makes him a valuable catch. Add in his status in the Coven, and the vultures will circle.
Unfortunately, Taylay is engaged to Cully, his Heartbond.
“Would you mind—”
“Excuse me,” Tay cuts off, steering me, a bit harshly to the side. I chuckle at his annoyance. “We need to speak to a few sisters on Coven matters. I will find you later for that dance, Eloise.”
Once we sidestep the pair, he drops my elbow, glaring. “You’re enjoying this too much.”