Chapter 13 Cassian
CASSIAN
Ifind Jet easily enough because this place, it’s where we used to come. It’s been years, but here he is, his lime green Porsche parked outside the small house that looks like all the other houses. Lime green as if a beacon calling me to find him.
I pull up to the curb behind it, the Ferrari blending into the dark, and climb out, bypassing the front door for the one around back. I’m not sure if it’ll be there, but when I lift the rock beside the door, I find the key beneath it. Nothing’s changed. She needs to be more careful.
A light is on in the living room, but they’re upstairs. I hear them.
I climb the stairs, sliding my hand along all the familiar grooves of the handrail. The sounds I heard moments ago are louder up here because the door at the end of the hall is cracked open.
Of course it is.
He’s expecting me.
I push the door open. Mina gasps, whips her head around in panic which is quickly replaced by surprise and followed by a smile.
Jet grips a handful of her hair. “Focus,” he tells her, and she gets back to the business of sucking his dick.
I take my seat on the old, worn leather chair across the room and pour myself a whiskey.
It’s the only expensive thing in this place.
Jet probably brought it. I pick up my tumbler and turn to the couple on the bed.
Jet is on his knees, Mina on all fours in front of him sucking him off, waving her ass prettily at me.
“You joining?” Jet asks, looking at me through hair that’s flopped down into his eyes, barely lifting his gaze from her.
“Just watching tonight,” I say, sipping my drink.
“Too bad,” he says, then pulls Mina off him. “Turn around,” he tells her. “Down on your elbows so I can see it all,” he instructs although he doesn’t need to. Mina’s fucked us both enough times to know what we like, how we like it.
With his hands on her ass, Jet splays her open, eyes on the business at hand. I know from her moan when he pushes into her, but it’s not her I’m looking at. It’s him.
His grip tightens on her hips, and I hear the wet sounds of fucking as he turns his gaze to me.
I sip. I watch.
Jet is a beast when he fucks. His eyes go full black, and his face flushes with heat.
His mouth opens on shallow breaths and in a minute, he’ll take his lower lip between his teeth.
Those lips are the only soft thing about him.
His body is chiseled with muscle, the scars faded to silvery-white now, scar tissue rough beneath.
I know the way they feel. I know how the muscles move beneath his skin when they’re touched. And I know how they got there.
Despite the scars, maybe more so for them, he’s beautiful to watch.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen him like this.
And he does give me a fucking show, gripping her hips, ramming into her from behind before pulling out to guide his cock to her other hole.
Mina moans. His eyes are on me with every furious thrust. It’s intimate. The closest we can be.
Was this what it was like for him to watch me fuck Allegra?
No. That was different. It wasn’t him I was looking at when I was fucking her. It was her. And I did it for one reason and one reason alone. To drive my point home: Allegra is off limits. She’s mine.
What point is he making? He’s not. It’s rage. Pure, unchecked rage as his eyes bore into mine while he fucks Mina raw.
And from the sounds she’s making, she’s loving every second of it.
I swallow my whisky down and keep my empty glass in hand. I don’t look away. I can’t. I feel every angry thrust and when he comes, he bites his lip so hard that he draws blood. Yet, he still refuses to look away. Still, he refuses to release the lock of our eyes.
Because this is about us.
When he’s finished, he drops back onto his heels out of breath.
Mina rolls onto her side, spent.
I stand, set my glass down and hand Mina her robe which is hanging behind the door. I don’t look away from Jet.
“Thanks, baby,” she says and glances down. “Want me to take care of that?”
I grip her wrist before she can wrap her hand around my erection. “I’m fine. Go downstairs.” I take my wallet out to hand her a hundred-dollar bill. “That Chinese place still around?” She nods. “Good. Order some food for yourself.”
She turns to Jet. He’s the customer, after all.
“It’s fine. Go, Mina. Leave us alone.”
She nods. “Thanks,” she says about the money and walks out, closing the door behind her.
“Whiskey?” I ask him, resuming my seat and pouring myself a fresh glass.
“In a minute.” He gets up and I’m glad to see he used a condom.
He walks into the bathroom and closes the door.
The shower goes on and I look out the window while I wait.
The neighborhood hasn’t changed, not at all.
It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I wonder if Jet’s been visiting Mina regularly.
I realize I don’t know. He could have any woman he wants.
He could pay any high-end escort if that’s what he chooses to do, although he doesn’t need to pay for it. Still, he comes here.
The shower switches off and Jet steps into the bedroom, a cloud of steam behind him. He’s got a towel wrapped low around his hips and crosses the room unselfconsciously. His clothes are on the chair in the opposite corner.
“What do you want?” he asks as he gets dressed.
“We need to talk.”
“Do we?” He zips up his jeans before pulling his sweater on. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”
“No? Then why come here?”
He takes the glass of whiskey I pour for him, drops to a seat on the foot of the bed and sips.
“Because you knew I’d find you here, that’s why,” I continue. “Well, here I am. Glad to see you used a condom at least.”
“She’s clean.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Did you enjoy the show?”
“Is that what this was? Tit for tat?”
“Nah. Tit for tat would imply I was injured by your little… what was that anyway?”
My jaw ticks because I see what I saw before he and Allegra noticed I was there. I see her hand in his. I see his thumb circling her wrist.
Before I can say anything, he continues.
“How many times you going to strip her naked and flaunt her in front of my face and expect me to walk away?”
“Whatever fantasy you’ve got in your head about Allegra, forget it. She’s not for you.”
“She wasn’t for Malek Lombardi either, but we all saw how that went.”
I slam my glass down on the table. “Careful, Jet,” I say through clenched teeth.
“What? It’s true. Now you want to protect her? Like you’re protecting Vivi and Gage? Your ‘protection’ got a gun hand delivered to their front door.”
I’m on my feet in a heartbeat, gripping him by his shirt, dragging him up. I slam him against the wall.
“Be. Fucking. Careful.”
“Or is it like you’re protecting Seth by locking him away when his mind is gone? When it’s the last thing he wanted.”
“You don’t know what you’re fucking talking about.”
“I do. You told me, remember? We shared that bottle of whiskey, and you told me what he said back when he could speak his mind. When he had a mind. And you made a promise that you’ve broken.
Just like you broke the promise to keep his fiancée and child safe.
Just like you broke any promise you ever made to Allegra to keep her safe. ”
My grip falters, his words hitting their mark.
“I can’t give him what he wanted. You fucking know that, you asshole.” I slam him backward. Because what Seth wanted, what he made me promise, was to end it before this disease destroyed him. Before it did what it’s done. But I couldn’t do it. I loved my brother. I love him. I can’t kill him.
Seth was the best big brother any kid could have. When our mother died after delivering me and our father blamed me, it was Seth who protected me. Seth who still loved me. Who never blamed me for her death. Seth whose love was unconditional.
“You don’t get to decide that though, do you?
” Jet continues. “Except that you think you get to decide everything.” He shoves me backward and I turn away, pushing a hand into my hair.
“You’re not fucking God, Cassian!” I hear the pouring of whiskey.
“I saw what you did, by the way. Saw you come inside her. You broke your own rule. What if she gets pregnant? How will you explain to her that your offspring is damaged. If he’s allowed to live, that is. You think you just have the right—”
I draw my arm back and even as I do it, even as I ram it into his face, I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t let him get under my skin. But if there’s one man who can do it, whose always been able to do it, it’s Jethro Blackstone.
“Fuck you, Jet. You’ve gone too far.” I shake my head, walk away.
He wipes his lip with his thumb and looks at it, sees the blood there. He must have bit it. His cheekbone is red where I slammed my fist into it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a black eye tomorrow.
I push my hand into my hair, mutter a curse.
“We were close before Seth got sick,” he says more quietly. “You trusted me before he got sick.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I stopped trusting everyone after that.”
“You and me, Cassian, we’re more alike than you think.
We’re both unwanted. Unloved. And we’re both alone.
You asked why I come here. Maybe that’s why.
Maybe because when I come here, I remember what we found here.
And maybe I miss it a little. Maybe I’m tired of always being on my own. Never being wanted.”
I turn to look at him. He’s right. Just as my father only ever chose Seth, loved Seth, only hated me, blaming me for our mother’s death, so has Sybil only ever chosen Severin although maybe it’s worse for Jet because he did what he did to survive.
He stands, pulls his jacket on and takes his wallet out. He drops three-hundred-dollar-bills on the nightstand.
“I thought maybe you were a little tired of that too, but maybe with Allegra, maybe…” he shakes his head. “You know what? Fuck it. I guess I’m wrong.”
He walks out.