CHAPTER NINETEEN
In the neurosurgical ICU, Elisabeth sat next to Caitlin’s bed. Her sister had yet to regain consciousness after the surgery and looked so tiny and vulnerable under the blanket. She remembered what the neurosurgeon had told her.
Bleeding controlled. Minimal edema. No obvious death of brain matter.
The doctor had been pleased with the surgery’s outcome, and that kept Elisabeth from losing all hope, especially with Dr. Regis-Lockhart explaining everything in understandable terms. Elisabeth was grateful to have the other doctor with her, but seeing her baby sister like this was so hard.
Bandages covered Caitlin’s entire head. Tubes and wires were attached to her body, including a catheter going into her skull.
All the beeps and noises from the machines with too many displays and graphs and buttons scared Elisabeth, but something else terrified her.
The surgery, medical care, and doctors would be expensive.
So, so expensive. Selling the farm might not even be able to cover the bills, and where would that leave them? Bankrupt?
Stop.
Guilt coated her throat. She shouldn’t worry about money while Caitlin lay in that bed, fighting for her life. They would have plenty of time to figure out the finances.
Still, Elisabeth felt as if she hung by a thread. She was brokenhearted and hurting because of Caitlin and Henry.
Forget about Henry. Concentrate on Caitlin. She was so small and fragile and pale. She was the one who needed Elisabeth.
“You’re my little girl. I love you so much. You must get better. I don’t think I could take it if one more person I love went away.” Elisabeth rested her head on the bed. The rhythm of the machines was almost hypnotic but far from soothing. “Wake up, Caitlin. Please wake up.”
Elisabeth sensed a presence behind her. One of the nurses who sat in the central core area where they monitored and watched the patients?
Hands touched her shoulders, and she knew.
Henry.
She inhaled sharply. Every muscle tensed. Relief mixed with frustration, and she wavered. But she knew after discovering the truth, the only thing she could do was erect a wall between them to keep from being hurt more.
“Sam and Abby are in the waiting room with my friends,” Henry began. “The report from the doctor sounds promising.”
Elisabeth focused on the icy fear twisting in her stomach and the panic rioting inside her. “Caitlin’s still not awake.”
“Give her time.”
Elisabeth was furious at her vulnerability to Henry. She hated that she needed his reassurance. She shouldn’t want or need anything from him. “What if time is running out?”
The question stabbed at her heart. The prognosis was good, but she was still so frightened, so worried. And to have Henry show up… She trembled.
Henry squeezed Elisabeth’s shoulders. “It won’t.”
Not for Caitlin, Elisabeth prayed. But for herself and Henry…
She wanted to hurt him, but she wanted to make him want her at the same time. “I know who you are.” Her voice sounded steadier than she felt. “When were you going to tell me the truth?”
He hesitated.
Loneliness and confusion, frustration and anger welded together. But she had her pride. He couldn’t take that from her. “I deserved the truth. Then and now.”
She felt the breath he drew.
“The truth,” he agreed. “I didn’t plan to tell you.”
She didn’t think it was possible to feel any more pain. She’d been wrong.
“Ever?” She held her breath.
Again, that slight hesitation. “No.”
Her heart died within her. She’d always known. But to hear him say it…
She didn’t fall into a heap. She didn’t slump in her chair. Instead, her blood boiled. Her cheeks grew hot with humiliation. She pinned him with her eyes. “You were just going to leave.”
“Elisabeth…”
She pressed her lips together. “The truth.”
“Okay. I was planning to leave. But—”
“I don’t want to hear any of your excuses.” She spat out the words. “Just go back to your world and leave us alone.”
“You are my world.” He touched her hand, and she jerked away. “You, Sam, Abby, Caitlin, Ruff, Ritz, even that damn rooster who cock-a-doodle-doos all day long.”
Some part of her had longed to hear those words and wanted to believe him. But she couldn’t. This wasn’t Henry, the down-on-his-luck farmhand, talking. This was Henry, the billionaire. The liar. “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth,” he mumbled.
The pain in her voice made her want to reach out to him. She couldn’t. “But you’re rich and have a whole other life. Without us.”
Without me.
Saying the words made them more real. Bitterness filled her, and anguish squeezed her heart. Henry might think he wanted them at first, but he would leave.
A rich playboy… Never with the same date.
“I know all about your ‘adventure.’” She struggled to hold on to her composure and her pride. “I returned Cynthia’s twenty-five thousand dollars.”
His eyes darkened. “That’s a lot of money.”
“Not to you.” Elisabeth knew she was acting like a bratty kid, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t care. Not about him.
“Elisabeth—”
“No matter what your intentions, I appreciate you working on the farm.” She straightened. “If you leave me your address, I’ll mail your final paycheck.”
“I don’t need the check. I need you.”
She shrugged, ignoring how the desperation in his voice clawed at her. She didn’t know what to do. Conflicting emotions were turning her inside out. She couldn’t take it. Not now. Probably not ever. “It’s better this way. You must have places to go, money to spend, women to woo.”
His eyebrows drew together. “Woo?”
“Or whatever it is you do with them. You’ve been on a boring berry farm for a month. I’m sure you need to make up for lost time.”
Tears stung her eyes. She focused on Caitlin so he wouldn’t see. This was for the best. If Henry remained in her life, he would never be happy. He would leave her. Leave the kids, too. Elisabeth preferred he did it now.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
“Goodbye, Henry.”
As she stared at one of the monitors, she waited. Beeping, blips, breathing. Then she heard footsteps moving away from her. She listened until they were gone.
The strength she’d been clinging to vanished, leaving her lost and dejected and with nothing.
Despite the lies, despite everything, a part of her had still hoped Henry would be different. That he wasn’t like the others who went away or died and left her alone.
An acute sense of loss overcame her. Elisabeth clenched her hands into fists. A lump burned in her throat as hot as a glowing charcoal briquette, but she would not cry. The kids, especially Caitlin, needed Elisabeth to be strong now. She had the rest of her life to fall apart.
The machines kept making noises, and she focused on those.
Footsteps sounded again. Only this time, they were coming toward her. Closer and closer. Her breath caught in her throat.
It must be a nurse or doctor. Still, she clutched the bed rail.
“I won’t let you do this,” Henry said in a firm tone. “I heard what you said to Caitlin about another person you loved going away. I’m not like the others. I won’t leave you. And I won’t let you push me away.”
Elisabeth had to push. She had no choice but to be the one to send him away. Because if he was the one to leave her, she didn’t think she would survive. And she had to endure. For Sam and Abby and—Elisabeth stared at the hospital bed—Caitlin.
He stopped right behind her. “I’ve never had to fight for anything in my life, but I’ll fight for you, Elisabeth with an S. And I won’t lose.”
“Don’t do this.” She choked on the words, battling the desperation threatening to overwhelm her. Her knuckles blanched on the bed rail. “Stop saying things you don’t mean.”
Henry gently pried her hands off it and turned her so she faced him. A million and one thoughts ran through Elisabeth’s head. “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m not going away.” His eyes implored her with a need that had her back hitting the bed. “I need you and the kids.”
Such simple words. She didn’t want to believe him. She shouldn’t, yet he was somehow breaking through her fragile control. She trembled and tried to fight it, fight him. She gritted her teeth. “You lied.”
He bowed his head. “I let you down.”
“You lied to us. To me. At least take some responsibility and admit it.”
He winced. “Okay. Yes. I lied in the beginning. I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
His admission didn’t make her feel any better. Her anger surged. “It wasn’t only in the beginning. If Caitlin hadn’t been hurt, you’d still be lying.”
He looked at Caitlin but said nothing.
“It was all an act to you, wasn’t it? A charade. Playing at being a farmhand. Acting as if you didn’t mind having the kids around. Pretending you…” Elisabeth’s voice broke. “You were attracted to me.”
“No,” he said. “Elisabeth, no. Once I got to know you and the kids, everything changed.”
“Then why not tell me the truth? Why not get that close to me?”
“Because I was afraid, all right?” The words burst out of him, and he looked almost angry. “I was afraid if you knew Henry Davenport, the real me, you wouldn’t want me around anymore.”
“Yeah, right.”
“It’s the truth. My own parents—” His jaw clamped shut.
“Your own parents…what?” she asked softly.
“My own parents knew me better than anyone. And they pretty much decided I was worthless. A disappointment to the mighty Davenport legacy.” His eyes darkened. “Maybe I didn’t want you to think the same.”
“How could I? Henry, you’ve made such a difference in my life. To the farm. To the kids.”
To me.
“Sure, I did.” He rolled his eyes. “I screwed up. All the time.”
“You tried. All the time. I loved that you tried.”
He regarded her somberly. “But could you love me?”
“I…” Fear closed her throat. How could she admit it, knowing what she knew?
“That’s what I thought.”
She couldn’t let him think she hadn’t cared about him. Because she did. Or had. “How can I love you? A billionaire? I loved Henry, the farmhand. But—”
“That’s who I am.” His gaze sought hers. “At least, that’s who I want to be.”