Chapter 17
As I lace up my skates for tonight’s game, my mind is still on Sadie. I was hardly able to focus on anything but her during the meditation session earlier. And here I am again, picturing those beautiful brown eyes—so rich and intoxicating, it’s impossible to look away.
Not only did she look beautiful in her Bobcats’ green tank that hugged her body perfectly, showing off her immaculate breasts, but she absolutely stunned me silent when she admitted to creating a corner specifically for Sophia in her office.
The thoughtfulness and care that went into that gesture had me inches away from pulling her into my arms and never letting go.
To add fuel to the fire, she insisted on watching Sophia during tonight’s game after I told her my parents are both down with a nasty stomach bug.
Sadie is quickly becoming the most influential woman in my daughter’s life next to my mom. The realization makes me feel both excited and uncomfortable.
After everything Sophia and I have gone through, I’ve locked my heart away to not only protect myself, but to protect my daughter. But each time I see Sadie, she does something that chisels away at the stone wall I’ve built around my heart.
Connor knocks his skate against mine, clearing the Sadie-induced fog I find myself trapped in more and more these days.
“You good, man? Looks like you’re in your own little world over there.”
I finish tying up my skate and lean back into my stall. “I’m good. Just visualizing the game.”
More like visualizing my dream woman, but he doesn’t need to know that.
Connor shakes his head. “You’re a bad fucking liar, dude. Just get your head on straight before puck drop.”
I give him a quick nod and then close my eyes to try to focus on our game. He’s right. I need to clear my head of all things Sadie if I want to be at my best for tonight’s playoff matchup. The last time we played the Columbus Hawks we got our asses kicked. Tonight needs to be different.
Ten minutes goes by, and Hunter calls into the room that we have five minutes until the coaches come in for their pregame speech. I move my eyes around the room, looking at each one of my teammates to see that they’re all dialed in. I have a good feeling about tonight.
Ellie, Lincoln, and Hunter make their way into the locker room, and we all fall silent to hear what they have to say. Lincoln is the last to speak and every person here has their eyes glued to him as he paces the middle of the room.
Finally, he halts his movements, and looks around before a smile breaks out on his face.
“It’s been a hell of a ride this year, fellas.
Not a single person had us in the playoffs this year.
‘We’re too broken.’ ‘There’s no coming back from last year’s scandal.
’ ‘There’s no way in hell they’ll win with a woman behind the bench.
’” He looks over and smirks at Ellie before turning his attention back to us.
“You’ve proved every single one of them wrong.
You did that. You clawed your way back from the dead and earned your spot in the playoffs. ”
The room is so quiet. I swear I can hear Connor’s heartbeat pounding next to me.
“We’re here for a reason. Because we’re a good fucking hockey team and we deserve to be here. Now, go out there and fucking prove it. Let’s fucking go!”
We all scream out in agreement. We’re amped up, our blood pumping so hard, adrenaline coursing through our bodies.
Coach Scott calls out one last thing. “Jefferson, you got the lineup tonight.”
Our youngest rookie makes his way to the center of the room, wearing his goofy-dimpled smile with the lineup in his hand.
“Let’s do this boys! Gimme a beat!”
In true Bobcat pregame routine, we all oblige and bang our hockey pants twice and clap once, repeating the rhythm as Jefferson starts his lineup read.
He makes his way to our goalie, Mack, and points at him. “When I say ‘Mack’, you say, ‘Attack.’ Mack!”
“Attack!”
“Mack!”
“Attack!”
Next, he walks over to Connor. “When I say ‘C,’ you say ‘Money.’ C!”
“Money!”
“C!”
“Money!”
He continues the ridiculous, rhythmic lineup read we all love way too much, finishing with me at center. I try but fail at hiding my smile, already anticipating the ridiculous nickname they use for me during this routine.
Jefferson screams as loud as he can. “When I say ‘Cap,’ you say, ‘Daddy.’ Cap!”
“Daddy!”
“Cap!”
“Daddy!”
We all start banging vigorously on our pads, screaming, “Ahh!” to close out the pregame ritual.
All three coaches wear matching grins as they exit the room. The countdown clock on the wall shows that we have eleven minutes until it’s time to make our way to the tunnel.
There’s movement all around the room, but I tune it all out, concentrating only on the friendship bracelet Sophia made me this past summer.
I haven’t taken it off since, always wanting to keep her with me while I play.
It’s black and green, matching the Bobcats jersey that hits just above my wrist. MY HERO is spelled out in letter beads in the center, and I close my eyes, saying a quick affirmation that Sadie taught me during one of our meditation sessions.
I am powerful and driven. I will make every open shot. I am a good teammate. I will do whatever it takes to win.
I repeat the affirmation two more times before standing and grabbing my helmet and gloves from the top of my stall.
Always the last one out of the room and onto the ice, I give Connor a fist bump, then a chest bump, and follow him out to the tunnel.
Let’s fucking do this.
We’re up 3–1 with two minutes left in the game. The feeling I had earlier hasn’t left once during tonight’s matchup. We’re firing on all cylinders and clicking better than we have all season.
Lincoln taps my shoulder, signaling I’m next up. I watch our team go toe-to-toe with the Hawks, battling in the neutral zone, keeping them from gaining entry into our zone.
Connor has the puck by our own blue line and he transitions forward, catching the Hawks while they’re tired. With possession of the puck, our center comes for a line change, and I hop over the boards to join Connor on the rush into the Hawks’ zone.
As soon as we cross their blue line, I take off as fast as I can toward the net, hoping to draw one of their defenders with me to create a scoring opportunity for Connor and Jefferson, who trails behind us.
The Hawks are tired after a long shift, and I gain a step on the defender in front of me, crashing the net hard.
I stop right above the goal crease, not wanting to interfere with their goalie at all.
It doesn’t matter that I’m not in his space, their goalie still isn’t happy with the fact I’m so close.
I feel his blocker shove me in the back just as their defenseman shoulders me from the side.
I teeter a bit, but lean hard on my stick to keep my balance. Connor and Jefferson are coming fast, and I know in my bones that Connor is going to dish the puck across the ice. He’s unselfish in that way. I do my best to hold my ground, trying to distract the goalie as best as I can.
Just as Connor fires the puck over to Jefferson, I feel it. The goalie’s stick hits me in the side of my knee, right where there’s a gap in padding.
I go down. Hard.
Pain shoots through my knee as the buzzer sounds and commotion ensues around me. Someone falls on top of me, making me scream, as the pain intensifies in my knee.
No. No. No. No.
This can’t be happening.
Bodies are thrown off me, creating a potential escape route but I don’t move. I can’t move. I cradle my knee with both hands, writhing on the ice.
It hurts so fucking bad. Am I done? Was this my last game this year? Did I just fuck up our chances at the Stanley Cup? How bad is it?
The questions keep flying through my brain, my negativity consuming me.
“Niko.” Sloane’s voice is calm but firm, pulling me out of my spiral.
“Scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain right now?”
I grit my teeth and think about it. I extend my leg, attempting to gauge how bad the pain is and am surprised to see it doesn’t intensify when I move it.
“Six.”
Sloane nods and then looks over her shoulder to where Connor and Jefferson are standing. She motions to them to join us then looks back down to me.
“There’s not much I can do out here on the ice. Let’s get you to the locker room so we can see what we’re dealing with, okay?”
I nod once, indicating I’m ready to move. Connor and Jefferson haul me up off the ice by my arms and loop them around their necks. Stick taps and cheering floods the arena, but I keep my head down, already dreading the worst.
“You really fucked up my celly there, Cap. Always gotta make it about you, eh?” Jefferson chirps at me, and I finally pick my head up to see his dimples on full display as he laughs at me. Even Connor snorts at the perfectly timed dig from the rookie.
“Couldn’t let you have all the attention. A hat trick in your first playoff game? That’s just fucking selfish.”
Both the guys laugh as they transfer me to the bench where two of the trainers take their spots and help me down the step into the tunnel toward the locker room.
It’s a slow walk, but as the seconds tick by, the pain in my knee seems to dull. That’s gotta be a good sign, right?
We’re a few feet from the door when I hear footsteps rushing my way. I look to my left and see Sadie sprinting toward me with Sophia in her arms.
I tap the trainers’ shoulders. “Wait.”
They pause their movements, and Sadie skids to halt. She sets Sophia down on the ground and puts her hands on her knees, gasping for air.
“You good, Sadie?” The humor in my voice causes Sadie to look up at me and the fire in her eyes has me forgetting all about the pain in my knee. I huff a laugh, doing my best to rein it in, just as Sophia tugs on my jersey.
“Daddy, are you okay? You weren’t getting up. I was so scared.”
She’s focused on my injured leg and the concern in her voice causes my smile to drop. I wish more than anything I could get down on my knees to console her.
I take my arm off one of the trainers, despite his protests, and ruffle Sophia’s hair. “I’m good, baby girl. I promise.”
“But you can’t walk.” She points to my leg that’s lifted just above the ground.
Against more protests from my trainers, I lower my hurt leg to the ground, but keep all my weight on my good knee.
“See. I’m okay. They just want to look at it before I walk on it.”
This seems to satisfy Sophia enough that finally looks up at me and smiles. Her hazel eyes are rimmed red around the edges. I can’t imagine how scared she must’ve been when I went down on the ice and didn’t get right back up.
“I promise I’m all right, Sophia. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Sadie slides up next to Sophia and puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I told you your daddy was tough.”
Sophia wraps her arms around Sadie’s legs and leans into her. The movement causes my gaze to lock onto Sadie’s.
“I’ve got her, Niko.” Sadie’s voice is soft and reassuring.
I’ll never be able to thank her for what this moment means to me. On any other day, my mind would be spiraling, worrying about who will take care of Sophia if I’m hurt or can’t leave the arena. Will she be okay with a stranger? How is she going to react if I’m not okay?
But none of that crosses my mind tonight.
The only thing I’m worried about is how bad it’s going to hurt if I end up falling for the woman in front of me. Because I am well on my way to that happening.