Chapter Fifteen
Angie
It wasn’t until she sat in the car that Angie realized what she was doing. Sort of. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew she had to think, and ironically, it wasn’t possible in her home, with the people she loved.
She would have to come home eventually, and clean up the mess she’d made, and it wouldn’t be easy.
Neva didn’t believe her.
Christina was the target of teen cruelty and adult ignorance, and above all, she wanted to help her.
She wanted to turn back time. It seemed so silly now to cry about a few broken lights, about how many batches of cookies were the right amount, and the generally busy days leading up to Christmas.
Neva, in this reality, couldn’t know, but once upon a time they had already gotten it right.
And Angie would give it one last try. If she couldn’t make it, she would spend the rest of her life trying to convince her family how much she loved them, that they didn’t need to fit their holidays into a mold to be happy.
She shook her head to herself.
It sounded bizarre. She wouldn’t have believed herself.
It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense, her being out here while families celebrated Christmas Eve, and she could be doing the same, see the excitement in her children’s eyes as they wondered if their wishes would come true.
Angie laughed bitterly. Be careful what you wish for…So true. It didn’t help that every house along the way was decorated, the neighborhood looking cozy with the softly falling snow.
She should be home, but she couldn’t be right now.
Something was drawing her to the mall, even though she knew that most of the businesses would be closed. The diner might still be open, though she was far from hungry for food.
Walking back through these doors, Angie wasn’t sure what her plan was, except that this was where it all had started.
Her constant stressing about this and that, getting Neva’s Christmas gift in time.
The accident she’d seen on the way. She couldn’t help shuddering.
Angie hoped the family impacted by it was okay and was having a merry time right now.
She pulled her coat tighter around her and walked past dark stores and other businesses.
Nadine’s, like the others, had a “Closed” sign in the front door. It was dark as well.
She sat on a bench and let her sadness and disbelief wash over her.
How could a simple wish have created such chaos?
And had she been entirely wrong?
Angie remembered coming home that night, hoping someone had picked up some of the never-ending tasks. How could they not have seen that it wasn’t a suggestion?
Maybe she did have the right to a quiet space, where everything was in place, just for a moment.
In any case, she wasn’t going to find it here, because the mall was closing too, a lone employee hovering near the door, radiating impatience. Probably he was eager to go back to his family.
Angie wished him Merry Christmas as she walked out, and his stance relaxed, his smile genuine as he said it back.
If only everything could be this easy.
She walked across the parking lot and crossed the street into a park with a playground that was abandoned at the moment.
She and Neva had taken Christina, and then Fiona and Elsa, here many times.
The twins, of course, still loved to go.
Angie sat down in one of the swings even though it was snowing.
She had happy memories of this place, but it felt incredibly lonely now.
Perhaps she hadn’t made it clear enough how much that quiet space mattered to her? Did it still matter, when her wish had caused so many misunderstandings?
And she might have been guilty of forgetting, just for a second or so, that she already had everything she’d ever dreamed of.
Her boss had given her time off. All she had to do was ask.
Neva’s parents had joined them, and her own would have if she’d asked sooner. They didn’t demand perfect, just wanted to enjoy time with their daughters and granddaughters.
Neva loved her.
Where did that leave Angie?
What was the conclusion she needed to draw?
She had tried and failed to undo her wish multiple times. Angie cast a look at her phone, her chest tightening when she realized it was only twenty minutes to midnight.
The mall closed at nine! How could she have been out here this long and not notice it?
Her fingers were ice cold, and when she checked the pockets of her coat, she realized she didn’t have gloves with her. She felt cold inside out. What more could she do to fix this?
And no one believed her that this other life had even existed, well, no one except…
“Angie, hi.”
Startled by the voice addressing her, she all but jumped from the swing and spun around, realizing that Nadine had been standing behind her. Where had she come from?
And perhaps there was no point in asking herself that. A wish granter. Was that some kind of Christmas elf?
Was she losing it?
“Hello. Nadine, look—” She stopped. What else could she say to her? Nadine wouldn’t or couldn’t help her. At least, she wouldn’t provide Angie with a solution, and she couldn’t seem to find one on her own.
“I didn’t expect to see you tonight, but since you’re here…Merry Christmas.”
Nadine’s tone was friendly, as if nothing strange had happened between them, as if it was perfectly normal that they were both here on Christmas Eve.
But that was exactly the problem, wasn’t it? They shouldn’t be. Nadine had to be aware that Angie’s Christmas was anything but merry so far.
“Is it, though?”
“You tell me.” She was still wearing the same guileless smile, telling Angie that her words weren’t meant to be sarcastic. “I hope Neva liked her gift,” she added, still wearing that guileless smile.
“I haven’t given it to her yet,” Angie confessed. “Is that even still real? Or will it disintegrate after midnight like the rest of my life?”
A patient, knowing expression appeared on the jeweler’s face.
“Nothing will disintegrate. But you made a wish. Think about it. No one wishes for a life they hate, do they?”
“But here I am, all alone in the park on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was—”
That moment, Angie made peace with the fact that Nadine wouldn’t give her an easy answer, or any answer, no matter how many times she asked for it. And perhaps that was the point.
Nadine was right.
She had made that wish.
What exactly was it that she wanted? Angie wondered. Then. Now. Not for Neva to give up her dream, not for Christina to attend an expensive school where she wasn’t happy, not—
Angie checked her watch only to realize that she had seven minutes left. Likely, that wasn’t enough time to change anything—or was it? What if everything stayed the way it was now?
Her mind was running through a slideshow of memories new and old, falling in love with Neva who approached life with so much more openness and less anxiety, their wedding day, their beautiful family growing, their children’s milestones.
Holidays celebrated together. The occasional argument, worries, plans postponed.
The hands of her clock moved forward. Nothing, she realized, would stop time from moving forward. Christmas Day was almost here.
Her heart had stopped pounding, and Angie was stunned to realize that her mind was calm and clear all of a sudden, the images, all of them, comforting. Even if some of them were more recent, coming from this new unfamiliar reality.
“I have to go now,” Nadine said softly and touched her arm before she turned around and left.
“Wait!” Jolted into motion, Angie got to her feet and hurried after her so quickly she nearly slipped in the fresh snow.
Nadine halted and faced her again. “Is there something you wanted to say?”
“Yes. Yes, there is. Two minutes left. You’re right.
I made a wish, and I caused some, I don’t know, disturbance in the universe, but you know what?
Christina, Elsa, and Fiona are my kids, and Neva is my wife, and I love them more than anything is this world, or any world, for that matter.
So, this is it. If this is the reality I must live in, then I will. It’ll be okay, because we’re together.”
Nadine waited until Angie ran out of breath, and a distant church bell announced that it was Christmas Day.
“What am I doing? All I want for Christmas is to be home with my family. That’s where I’m going now.”
Nadine gave her another one of those gentle smiles. She hugged Angie and, without further words, walked away.
Angie returned to her car, sat inside, and turned on the radio.
She had never felt more at peace.