Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
GRIFFIN
“Hold it. Five more seconds.”
I gritted my teeth, muscles screaming as I pushed against the resistance. Sweat dripped down my temples, my neck straining against the padded harness that held my head in place.
“Four.”
My jaw clenched harder.
“Three.”
A grunt escaped me, the burn spreading down my shoulders.
“Two.”
My vision blurred at the edges.
“One.”
The second he gave the signal, I let go, muscles seizing as I collapsed forward, gasping for air. The harness dug into my skin, the weight gone but the strain lingering like an aftershock.
“Fuck me,” I muttered, reaching up to wipe the sweat from my eyes.
“Not even if you asked nicely.” Liam grinned, making a note on his tablet. “One more set.”
I groaned, letting my head hang forward. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“I enjoy all your suffering equally.”
“Prick.”
I hated neck day. Every driver did. It wasn’t like normal training, the kind most people did for show.
No one cared how much you could bench when you were strapped into a car, pulling 5G through a high-speed corner.
What mattered was whether your head could handle the force without snapping sideways like a rag doll.
“Hydrate.” Liam tossed me a water bottle.
I caught it, downing half of it in one go. My body ached, but it was the good kind of ache.
A week in Singapore had done what it was supposed to. My body had adjusted to the heat. The humidity still hit me like a suffocating wall the second I stepped outside, but it was manageable. Just.
The early morning runs, the sauna sessions and the constant hydration were all helping ensure I could handle two hours in the cockpit under the floodlights without my body shutting down.
“Your times were good yesterday,” Liam said, checking his tablet.
I grunted.
“Julian seemed pleased.”
I snorted. “Julian’s never pleased. He’s just varying degrees of not disappointed.”
“Fair point.” Liam set the tablet down. “Ready for the last set?”
I wasn’t, but I nodded anyway. That was the job, pushing past the point where your body begged you to stop. Finding that extra gear when there was nothing left in the tank.
I positioned myself in the harness, bracing for the weight. Liam adjusted the resistance, and the pressure slammed against my skull instantly. My neck tensed, holding steady.
“Good. Keep it there.”
Ten seconds felt like an eternity. My neck burned, the muscles quivering with the effort. I focused on my breathing, trying to push the pain to the background.
“Five seconds.”
My mind drifted under the strain. Anything to keep from focusing on the pain. But the moment my mind wandered, it went straight to her and all the moments where our gazes caught and held a beat too long.
I’d spent years moving through life with the certainty that if I wanted something, I’d take it. No hesitation. No second-guessing. Racing taught me that. You saw the gap, you went for it, and you dealt with the consequences after.
But Violet had me second-guessing everything.
It had been a grueling week of sharing limited space, struggling to find ways to entertain us both while distracting me enough to resist the allure of her lips.
For a week, I’d wanted nothing more than to close the distance and I hadn’t done it because for the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure what would happen if I did.
I hated not being sure.
“Three.”
The problem wasn’t whether she’d let me kiss her. The problem was that I couldn’t predict what came after. And that terrified me more than any wall I’d ever faced at 200 mph.
“One.”
The weight released. I sagged forward, sucking in air, but the tightness in my chest had nothing to do with the workout.
“You good?” Liam asked, frowning at me. “You look like you’re about to be sick.”
I wiped my face with a towel. “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit.” He crossed his arms. “You’ve been off all morning. And we’ve got FP1 in four hours.”
“Just tired.” I grabbed my water bottle, taking a long drink to buy myself time.
“Tired.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “In Singapore. During race week. When you’ve had a full week to acclimatize.”
I didn’t answer. Couldn’t think of a good lie that he’d actually believe.
“Try again,” Liam said.
I sighed, unstrapping myself from the harness. My legs felt unsteady as I stood. I needed to say something. Anything. But putting it into words felt like admitting something I wasn’t ready to face.
“If you wanted someone you couldn’t have, what would you do?”
Liam blinked. “Hypothetically?”
“Yeah.”
“Like... off-limits how?”
I shrugged. “Like it would blow up your whole life if it went sideways.”
Liam studied me for a long moment. “Is this about someone on the team?”
“It’s hypothetical.”
“Right.” He didn’t sound convinced. “Depends. How badly do I want to fuck up my life?”
“Bad enough that you can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Then I’d ask her.” He crossed his arms. “But you haven’t, have you?”
I pressed the cold bottle to the back of my neck. “What if she tells me I’m an idiot?”
“Then you’re an idiot. At least you’ll know.”
I shot him a look. “You don’t even know who I’m talking about.”
“Don’t I?” Liam raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been living in a hotel suite with one person for a week. You’re distracted. You’re asking me about off-limits women. I’m not an idiot, Griff.”
Fuck.
I grabbed my gym bag, suddenly desperate to end this conversation. “Forget I said anything.”
“No.” Liam blocked my path. “You’re not getting away that easy.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing’s happened.”
“But you want it to.”
I clenched my jaw, refusing to confirm what we both already knew.
Liam sighed. “Does she know?”
“Know what?”
“That you’re into her.”
“I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair.
But also, was I into her?
I mean, yeah, I was attracted to her. Obviously.
I’d have to be blind not to notice the way she looked in the mornings, hair still messy from sleep.
Or the way her brow crinkled when she was working through a problem.
Or the way her eyes lit up when she laughed.
Or the way her tits looked in that green bikini by the pool.
Christ. I dragged a hand over my mouth. That image had been living rent-free in my head for days.
But that didn’t mean I was into her. Not in the way Liam was implying.
It was just physical. Had to be. I’d been living with her for a month, watching her take care of Hazel, seeing sides of her I’d never noticed before. The sarcasm that matched mine. The way she refused to back down when I pushed. The stubborn streak that rivaled my own.
None of that meant this was serious.
She’d be gone in three months anyway. Back to her life, wherever that was. This was temporary. A forced arrangement because of Hazel. Nothing more.
Right?
Except I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The way her breath caught when I got too close. The way she looked at me sometimes, like she was working out a puzzle she couldn’t quite solve. The way my chest tightened when she smiled at Hazel, soft and unguarded in a way she never was with anyone else.
Fuck.
Maybe I was more twisted up than I wanted to admit.
But that still didn’t mean it was serious. Didn’t mean I was falling for her or any of that bollocks. I was attracted to her. I wanted her. That was it.
That was all it had to be.
Temporary. Manageable. Nothing that would wreck everything if I just kept my head on straight.
A hand clapped in front of my face.
I blinked, jerking back. “What?”
“Where the hell did you just go?” Liam asked, eyebrows raised. “I said your name three times.”
“I heard you.”
“Bullshit. You were miles away.” He studied me, then his expression shifted to something between amusement and pity. “Oh, this is worse than I thought.”
“It’s not—” I stopped. Because what was the point of lying?
“Right.” Liam shook his head. “Look, mate, I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say here, but this is a terrible idea.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” He crossed his arms. “Because Julian will lose his mind if he finds out.”
I cut him off. “Julian talks a big game, but what can he actually do to me?”
Liam hesitated, caught off guard.
I let the words settle, testing them out. It was the first time I’d really said it, really thought it.
Julian Carter liked to act like he held my career in his fist, like he could crush it if he wanted to. But I wasn’t some rookie desperate to keep a seat. I was a two-time world champion. Aedris needed me more than I needed them.
So why the fuck was I acting like I had no power here?
I’d been with Aedris since Formula 4. I’d always thought of them as my family, but the more Julian threatened me, the more my sense of loyalty fizzled out.
Maybe that was the real problem. I wasn’t afraid of Julian ruining my career, I was afraid of realizing I didn’t owe him a damn thing.
I’d bled for this team. Pushed through injuries, media storms, near-misses. I’d built my name under the Aedris banner, but I was the one who made it worth something. Julian Carter might run the show, but he didn’t own me.
And if I left? If I walked away from the man who spent years making me believe I was lucky to be here? The sport would keep turning. I’d keep winning.
Aedris would be the ones scrambling to fill the gap.
Liam’s eyes narrowed. “That’s a hell of a realization to have over a girl.”
“It’s not just about her.” I released a breath, rolling the tension from my shoulders. “But yeah. She’s part of it.”
Liam stared at me. Then laughed. “Oh, you’re fucked.”
“Thanks for the insight.”
“No, I mean—” He shook his head, still grinning. “You’ve actually got it bad. I’ve never seen you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Scared.”
“I’m not—”
“Mate.” He crossed his arms. “When’s the last time you gave a shit if someone turned you down?”
Never. The answer was never.
“Exactly.” Liam’s grin turned knowing. “So either you grow a pair and ask her, or you spend the next three months making yourself crazy over it.”
“Those are my options?”
“Yep.” He grabbed his tablet. “Now go shower. You reek.”
“Fuck off.”
“And Griff?” He didn’t look up. “Wait until after the race. Please. I don’t need Julian trying to murder you in the paddock. Or worse, you crashing because you’re distracted and ending up in the wall like half the grid does here.”
I snorted. “Noted.”