Chapter 39
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
VIOLET
“I’m leaving him.”
Cleo nearly dropped her coffee mug. Imani paused mid-bounce with Hazel on her lap, both of them staring at me like I’d announced I was joining the circus.
“Griffin?” Cleo set her mug down carefully. “Or your dad?”
“Both.” I paced to the window of their hotel room, wrapping my arms around myself. “I’m done. With all of it.”
“Okay,” Imani said slowly, her tone cautious. “What happened?”
I’d rehearsed this conversation in the lift, but now the words tangled in my throat. How did I explain that my father had just handed me everything I thought I wanted while simultaneously destroying it?
“My father knows about Griffin and me.”
“Shit.” Cleo sat forward. “How much trouble are you in?”
“None.” I turned back to face them. “He’s thrilled. Absolutely delighted that his plan worked.”
The girls winced.
Imani frowned. “What plan?”
“The one where he manipulates his daughter into falling for his most difficult driver so he can control them both.”
Cleo’s expression darkened. “That bastard.”
I filled them in on my morning revelations and paced from one end of their small room to the next.
“What does Griffin think?”
My throat closed. I’d spent weeks telling myself this was temporary. I wouldn’t get attached. When the season ended, I’d walk away clean.
Except I’d already failed spectacularly.
Griffin had become the first person I wanted to talk to when something happened. He was the first person I wanted to see when I woke up. I thought about him constantly throughout the day. Worried about him when he was on the track, and I never used to give a flying fuck what a driver did.
On top of that, Hazel had become the reason I smiled.
Losing them would break me in ways Julian’s threats never had.
My chest tightened. “He thinks it’s brilliant news. His boss finally approves of him. Problem solved.”
“You told him what your father said?”
“I tried.” The memory of his dismissive expression made my hands clench. “He thinks I’m being dramatic. Catastrophizing. Making problems where there aren’t any.”
Cleo snorted. “Right, because you’re known for your hysterics.”
“He said I was panicking.” I stopped pacing, the hurt still fresh and raw. “That Julian pressuring me was just Julian being Julian. His management style.”
“Oh my god.” Imani’s voice climbed. “After everything Julian’s done to you?”
Cleo shot to her feet. “Remember the camera?”
I groaned. When I was sixteen and stupid enough to think I could have something that was mine, I’d started photographing the paddock, capturing moments between races.
Julian had my entire darkroom destroyed within a week.
Said it distracted from my studies and my future job at Aedris wouldn’t be in the media pen.
“Or Tom.” Imani shook her head.
The mechanic I’d dated. My father fired him and had him blacklisted from every team on the grid.
Cleo nodded. “And your gap year.”
I’d secured a spot with a children’s literacy nonprofit in Vietnam.
Six months helping kids learn English, a chance to figure out who I was outside my father’s shadow.
Julian’s lawyers called the non-profit and threatened to sue them for liability issues if they took me.
They panicked and rescinded my offer within an hour.
“The journalism internship.”
“Cambridge.”
“Monza 2015.”
They kept bouncing off each other, naming every single thing my father had systematically destroyed.
“Okay, guys, I get it. My dad’s an asshole.” I took a deep breath, trying to rattle loose the rock sitting on my chest. “Can we not recount all the ways he’s fucked with my life right now?”
“Did you tell Griffin all of that?” Imani asked.
“No.”
They both stared at me.
“Why not?” Cleo tilted her head.
“What’s the point?” I threw my hands up. “He’s spent six years dealing with Julian.”
Julian didn’t treat his team any differently than he did me. If you didn’t fall in line, he punished you.
“He dismissed me being followed. He dismissed my fears. He doesn’t want to hear anything but that Julian approves of him.”
My voice cracked on the last word.
“It’s not even about me.” Tears flooded my eyes and I blinked hard, trying to hold them back. “It’s just about Julian’s approval. Him getting the green light. So why should I waste my breath when he doesn’t care?”
“Vi.” Cleo’s expression softened.
“No, I’m done. I’ll finish the season for Hazel.” I picked her up and pressed my forehead to hers.
This sweet little girl had done nothing wrong and to do anything else would punish her. Then I’d be no better than my father.
“But I’m not living with him anymore.”
“That’s fair,” Imani whispered.
Hazel gurgled in my arms, completely oblivious.
“I’m being irrational,” I muttered. “This is irrational.”
“It’s not,” they said in unison.
“I’m overreacting—”
“You’re not. Violet Louise Carter. Look at me,” Cleo said, her tone fierce. “Everything you’re feeling is completely rational.”
“You’ve fallen in love with someone who won’t believe you about your own father.” Imani reached for my hand and squeezed. “That’s devastating.”
The words hurt no matter how true they were.
I hadn’t said it out loud. Hadn’t even fully admitted it to myself until this morning when Julian had smiled at us and my entire world had come crashing down.
But they were right.
I loved him.
God, I loved him.
And he’d dismissed me like I was being hysterical.
“Right.” Cleo grabbed her phone. “We’re making a plan. Now.”
“What?” I blinked at her.
“You need money, housing, and a job.” She started typing. “Let’s sort it.”
Imani pulled out her laptop. “Student loans first. There’s the government scheme, but also the Cambridge hardship fund. And maybe we could find you a sponsor.”
“I don’t qualify for hardship or scholarships,” I said.
I’d spent the three years between eighteen and twenty-one filling out hardship applications and grant requests, desperate to start my degree before my inheritance kicked in. Every single one denied because on paper, I had a wealthy father. None of them cared that he wasn’t giving me a penny.
“You will once you’re officially cut off from Julian.” Cleo grinned, glancing up at me. “Which we’re doing today.”
My stomach flipped. A laugh bubbled up, half-hysterical. They’d gone from comfort to tactical planning in under five minutes. And somehow, impossibly, I felt lighter than I had all morning.
“You’re twenty-six. You’re an adult. They have to stop discrediting you because of your father.” Imani’s fingers flew across the keyboard. “Besides, why wait? These things take months anyway.”
“My flatmate’s moving to Edinburgh in three weeks,” Cleo said. “The room’s yours if you want it.”
“I can’t afford—”
“You will.” Imani squinted at her laptop screen. “That childcare consultancy near UCL hires child psychologists. You’re qualified.”
“I don’t have my doctorate yet.”
“You have an undergraduate degree and Tanzania experience.” Cleo’s eyes narrowed like she was fully prepared to march in there and make them. “They’ll hire you.”
“Okay.” I pressed my palm against my eye. “Okay, slow down for a second.”
They both stopped, their brows rising.
“I appreciate this.” My throat tightened. “I do. But you’re moving at warp speed and my brain’s still stuck on the fact that I just broke up with someone I love.”
Cleo’s expression softened. “Sorry.”
“We’re just trying to help.”
“I know.” I dropped my hand. “And I need your help. But can I maybe focus on surviving the next week first?”
They nodded.
I groaned. “How am I supposed to share a suite with him for an entire week?”
“Two bedrooms though, right?” Imani asked.
“Yeah, but it’s still the same suite. Same living area. Same kitchen. I can’t exactly avoid him when we’re sharing space and I’m taking care of his daughter.”
Cleo shrugged. “You keep things professional. Like you did at the beginning.”
“That was before I fell in love with him.”
“Then you fake it,” Imani said. “You can fall apart after Mexico.”
I wanted to argue. To say it wasn’t that simple.
But maybe it was.
“Okay. I can do that.” I hoped. “Can I crash on one of your sofas when I get back?”
“Obviously.” Cleo rolled her eyes. “You don’t even have to ask.”
“Mine’s closer to UCL.” Imani tucked her hair behind her ear. “If you want to look at that consultancy.”
Relief flooded through me. “Thank you. Both of you.”
“We’ve got you.” Cleo hugged me. “Always.”
I hugged her back with one arm while my throat burned. I didn’t deserve friends this loyal. Tears pricked my eyes.
I’d spent so long thinking I had to survive this alone. But I didn’t. I never had.
“What if Griffin comes around?” Imani asked. “What if he realizes you’re right?”
“Then he’ll have learned an expensive lesson.” I kissed the top of Hazel’s head, breathing in her sweet baby smell. “But I won’t be the weapon Julian uses to teach it to him.”
“So you’re really doing this,” Cleo said. “Full independence. No safety net.”
“No safety net.” I pressed my lips together, and willed myself not to freak out at those simple words. “I’ll figure out the funding somehow. Take out loans, find grants, and work part-time. Whatever it takes.”
“It’ll be hard.” Imani closed her laptop.
“Harder than living under Julian’s thumb for the rest of my life?” I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
Cleo grinned. “I’m proud of you.”
“For what? Finally growing a spine?”
“For choosing yourself.” She brushed hair from my face. “Even when it’s terrifying.”
Hazel squirmed, her tiny hand landing in my hair and gripping tight in that reflexive way babies did. I worked her fingers loose, pressing a kiss to her downy head.
“What about her?” Imani nodded toward Hazel.
“I’ll still take care of her. Griffin needs help, and I...” I trailed off, not ready to voice how attached I’d become. “She needs consistency. Stability. I won’t abandon her because her father’s an idiot.”
“And if Julian tries to use that against you?”
“Then I’ll deal with it.”
I bounced Hazel and her face scrunched in what might become a smile someday. She deserved better than being caught in Julian’s games. So did Griffin, whether he believed it or not.
“But I won’t make it easy for him. No more living in Griffin’s house, no more playing happy families, no more pretending this arrangement is anything other than professional.”
“Griffin’s going to fight you on this.” Cleo exchanged a look with Imani.
“Let him.” I squared my shoulders and held her gaze. “He made his choice this morning when he decided I was being hysterical instead of listening to what I was saying.”
“Maybe he’ll realize—”
“Maybe he won’t.” I shrugged. “Either way, I’m done waiting for Griffin Michaels to figure out that I know my own father better than he does.”