Chapter 15 #2
He pushed open the door and a cloud of steam redolent with the smell of frying food enveloped them.
Frankie’s stomach rumbled again and she giggled and hid herself behind Ed’s body to avoid any glances that might be directed towards them.
An old-fashioned display board hung on the wall above the glass-fronted heated counter units.
White plastic letters had been pressed into the black board, spelling out the regular choices.
Fluorescent signs in yellow and green and blue were stuck to the walls and the front of the counter, detailing special offers.
It reminded her so much of the chip shop at the end of the street where her mum used to get them a Friday-night treat. Cod for her, a battered sausage for Frankie and a large chips and a pot of mushy peas to share between them. A wave of sadness swept through her, stealing most of her appetite.
‘What are you going to have, then?’ When she didn’t answer, Ed nudged her shoulder gently. ‘Hey, is everything okay?’
She ignored his second question and focused on the first. ‘I’d like a battered sausage and a small chips, please.’
‘And mushy peas,’ Ed added with a shudder. He moved along the counter and placed their order then led her over to the wide windowsill where they perched with the other waiting customers. Within seconds of them sitting down, Ed had been drawn into conversation with the man next to him.
Still trying to process the onrush of old memories, Frankie pulled out her phone and scrolled through one of her news apps.
The headlines passed before her eyes, her thumb rolling over the screen on autopilot.
When the server called Ed’s name a couple of minutes later, she couldn’t have told anyone who asked a single thing about any of the stories she’d glanced through.
Ed clutched the bag with their dinner in one hand and used the other to hold the door open for her. ‘You know the best place to eat fish and chips?’ he asked with a grin after the door closed behind them.
‘In my pyjamas, curled up on the sofa with a very large glass of wine?’
He laughed. ‘Okay, do you know the second-best place to eat them, then?’ He nodded towards the low wall that ran along the seafront.
‘Are you kidding?’
Ed checked the road then began to cross, holding the bag containing their food high. ‘Trust me!’
Frankie followed him and plonked herself down on the wall. ‘I’ve got to tell you that if this is your idea of showing a lady a good time then your technique needs some refining.’
Ed paused in the act of rummaging in the bag and grinned up at her. ‘Did anyone ever tell you that you’re cute when you’re grumpy?’
She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop her lips from twitching. ‘Shut up and give me my chips.’
They were quiet for a moment as they both unwrapped their food.
The sweet-sour smell of vinegar-soaked chips filled her nostrils and she lifted the paper parcel closer to draw the scent deeper.
‘God, I can’t remember the last time I had something this bad for me.
’ She rested the food on her knees and grabbed a fat chip from the top of the pile and stuffed it in her mouth. ‘So good.’
‘I guess you have to watch what you eat while you’re filming,’ Ed observed as he broke a corner off his piece of fish.
She nodded. ‘And not just because the camera is hideously unforgiving.’ She paused to munch down another chip. ‘They fit our costumes at the beginning of the shoot and the last thing I want to do is give the wardrobe team extra work letting out seams.’ She shrugged. ‘Or taking them in, either.’
She’d made that mistake early on in her career until the director had taken her to one side and shown her the continuity problems she was causing because she’d skipped too many meals and the weight loss had started to show.
‘One of the most important parts of my job is making sure I take good care of myself. My agent hooked me up with a nutritionist and we put together a plan before each shoot.’ She took a bite of the sausage and grease dripped down her chin.
She wiped it off with the back of her hand and laughed.
‘I seem to have forgotten my table manners.’
‘But we’re not sitting at a table so it doesn’t matter.’ Ed’s smile softened. ‘Is that why your mood changed in the chippy? Were you feeling guilty about eating something that’s bad for you?’
Frankie shook her head. ‘No, not at all. I don’t obsess over my plan.
It’s more of a helping hand than something rigid.
Easy recipes I can throw together at the end of a long day, that kind of thing.
’ She stared down at the food in her lap.
‘This was my favourite meal when I was a kid. A Friday-night treat for me and my mum when I still lived with her.’
‘You mentioned you spent a lot of time in care growing up. Do you see your mum at all?’
Frankie raised her head, glad of the shadowy darkness because it made it easier to talk. ‘No. I tried to connect with her a few years ago, but it didn’t work out.’
‘Oh, Frankie, I’m sorry.’
The corners of her mouth kicked up in a sad smile.
‘Yeah, me too. We talked a bit on the phone. She was reluctant at first, told me I was better off without her in my life, but then she seemed to have a change of heart. I invited her to come and see me in a play. She told me she was a bit short of money so I sent her enough for her train tickets and a hotel.’
‘She didn’t show up?’ There was real anger in Ed’s voice and it made her smile again. Funny that this almost stranger was more concerned for her feelings than her own flesh and blood.
‘Nope. When I called her the next day she made an excuse about being held up at the last minute and missing the train. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and we arranged it again for a couple of weeks later.’ She took a bite of her sausage and chewed it thoughtfully.
Once upon a time she wouldn’t have been able to think about any of this, never mind talk about it without feeling angry.
Now she just felt sad. Not for herself, but for the part of her that would also be that little girl who’d held out hope for too long.
‘She let you down again.’ Ed sounded more resigned this time.
‘She did. I phoned the hotel and pretended to be her. Made up some lie about a family problem and asked if there was any chance of a refund. Want to guess what they said?’
‘There was no booking.’ Ed shook his head. ‘How could she do that to you?’
‘She changed a lot after she met someone – that’s how I ended up in care.
I think her initial reaction to tell me I was better off without her was an honest one.
That maybe he forced her to get back in touch and taking the money was his idea.
’ She shrugged. ‘Or maybe that’s something I tell myself because it’s better than the alternative.
After the second time, I decided to let it go.
A few weeks later I got a text saying she needed a couple of hundred pounds to pay her gas bill. ’
‘What did you do?’
‘I sent her the money and then I blocked her number on my phone.’ She stared down at the cooling food, the former treat now a greasy pile that turned her stomach. Scrunched the edges of the paper to cover it up.
Without saying anything Ed reached out, took the food and tucked it away in the bag along with his own. He stood and offered her his hand. ‘Come on, let’s get you home.’
She rose, but didn’t take his hand. ‘I can make my own way from here.’
‘How about we split the difference and I walk you to the top of your road?’
‘It’s all of two minutes!’ she protested.
‘Humour me.’ He crooked his elbow towards her.
Frankie stared at him for a long moment before she sighed and tucked her hand into the warmth he offered. ‘You’re very stubborn.’
‘It’s a family trait.’ And one Ed didn’t sound the least bit bothered about.
They walked in silence and as Frankie had predicted they were at the top of the road leading to the cottage in a matter of moments. They stopped and faced each other. ‘You still okay for Friday?’ he asked.
Frankie frowned for a second then remembered what they’d arranged. ‘Christmas-tree shopping? Definitely.’ It was time to make some nice memories. Hopefully if she accumulated enough the bad ones would finally fade away.
Ed stared down at her for a moment then leaned in and brushed the softest of kisses on her cheek. ‘It’s her loss, Frankie.’
She nodded. ‘I know. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt sometimes. Cutting ties with her wasn’t easy, but I had to look after myself.’
Because no one else was going to.