Chapter 37 Dina
Dina
One Year Later
‘Come on, Sophie, you got this!’ I shout, clapping my hands together encouragingly as she races towards the goal.
Her face is serious, sweat dripping down her forehead.
She kicks the ball, nearly falling in the process.
But it’s worth it because the ball hits the net, missing Julia in goal by a couple of inches.
I let out a loud cheer and clap my hands together as Sophie pumps her fists happily.
Glancing at my watch, I realise that we’re already almost ten minutes over our practice time.
‘OK, let’s wrap up for today,’ I say. ‘And please, get plenty of sleep before the match next week.’
Jade rolls her eyes as she moves past me. ‘You don’t have to remind us of that before every single match.’
‘But this is a special one,’ I say.
‘Don’t worry, we are definitely going to beat Westbrook this time,’ Sara says a little too confidently. The Divas have won quite a few games since our loss last year, but Westbrook still have a better track record than us and a pretty great coach.
‘Just don’t get too hung up on winning. Remember, it’s just as important—’
‘To have fun, we know,’ Jade groans to the rest of the team. They make fun of me, but I know they do it with fondness. ‘Can we go now?’
‘Go ahead.’
Mumbling their goodbyes, they start making their way to the park gates, and I watch them go.
Seeing them in their new kits with ‘The Divas’ emblazoned across them fills me with a strange sense of pride.
Ever since the match against Westbrook, which ended up across several social media platforms, and a local newspaper report, a few organisations banded together to give the Divas some much-needed funding.
We’ve finally been able to do away with makeshift kits and get real ones.
Plus, I bought proper football boots for all of the girls.
I even let Jade set up an official Instagram account for the Divas, which is half the reason she shows up to practice sometimes, I think.
The other half might be because of some genuine love of the game.
I start gathering up my things, and just as I’m heading out of the park, my phone buzzes. The caller ID flashes Jen’s name. I pick up immediately.
‘Hey, Jen!’ I say.
‘Hey, Dina!’ Jen says. ‘How have you been? How’s the team?’
‘Good, and they’re good. They still annoy me sometimes, but you know how they are.’
Jen laughs good-naturedly. ‘Yeah, I know they can be a handful.’ She pauses for a moment. ‘Listen, I’m calling because I know you have the match coming up.’
‘Right … you don’t have to worry about it. The girls are excited about finally having a chance to play Westbrook again and show them what they’re made of.’
‘I’m not worried.’ Jen chuckles. ‘I know that you’ve got them well trained. I wouldn’t have given you the reins if I didn’t trust you. I actually … heard from a scout who saw some of the social media hype surrounding the last match.’
I stop in my tracks. ‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah, seriously,’ Jen says. ‘She wanted to come and check out the match. I told her about a few of the girls, especially Sophie. And I also told her a little about you.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes, you. About your trajectory, and she was interested in talking to you. She seemed to think she might have an opportunity for you to be assistant coach to a professional team.’
‘Wait … really?’ I’ve been full-time coaching for the past few months, taking over for Jen, while she’s taken a more hands-off position at the council. But coaching a professional football team?
‘Really!’ Jen says. ‘This could be a great opportunity for you, Dina. The team play all around the country. You would get the chance to travel with them, train them, go to all their matches.’ When I started coaching, I never thought it would lead me anywhere near professional football.
Now, my players are getting scouted and somebody actually thinks I could be an assistant coach for a professional team.
It isn’t exactly the life I envisioned for myself when I was younger, but it feels close to it.
Close to those dreams I had about being a real football player.
But, for some reason, it doesn’t bring me the sense of joy that I had hoped.
My image of my dream life seems to clash with my real life: the girls from the football team, Deen and the restaurant, Ma, Maya.
‘I just wanted to give you a heads-up. I’ll send you her details, and I’ll be at the match to make the introductions. How does that sound?’ Jen asks.
‘Yeah, that sounds good. I can’t wait to see you soon.’
‘Me neither.’
I hang up the phone and make my way back to the apartment, still thinking about the scout and the opportunity. I quickly take a shower and get changed, before heading out again.
When I arrive at Deen’s restaurant, the place is buzzing with people, as it often is these days.
Ever since the relaunch, business has been booming.
Deen’s had to hire a lot of help to keep things running smoothly, and of course I help him out during any downtime that I have.
Even Ma chips in every once in a while, though Deen usually insists that she shouldn’t.
He says that Ma has earned her retirement after years of hard work to keep food on the table, and that now it is our turn to take care of her. I don’t disagree with him.
I step inside the restaurant, and one of the waiters that Deen has recently hired recognises me almost instantly, though it takes me a second to remember her name.
‘Dina, everyone’s already at the table,’ Sage says, pointing me towards the table in the corner.
‘Right, of course I’m late,’ I mumble.
Sage just gives me a smile as I move past her and reach our table. Ma and Deen are on one side, while Maya and her parents are on the other. They’ve saved me a seat opposite Maya.
‘Hey, sorry I’m late,’ I say, quickly slipping into my chair. Maya catches my eye and gives me a smile, and I smile back. Seeing her is definitely the highlight of my day – of any day.
‘Not like we didn’t expect it,’ Deen mumbles under his breath, and I elbow him in the ribs. ‘We’ve already ordered, because we knew you’d be ages and we’re starving.’ Deen has been so busy at the restaurant since the relaunch that it’s a wonder he ever takes a night off.
‘I said sorry,’ I say defensively. ‘Practice ran late, and then I had to go home and get changed. And I got a call from Jen, who had some news.’
Maya perks up at Jen’s name. ‘What news?’
‘It’s nothing too important. She’s … coming to the match next week.’
‘Oh,’ Maya brightens at that. ‘It’ll be good to see her again.’
Maya’s parents nod enthusiastically.
‘I always liked her,’ Maya’s mum says. ‘She’s so inspiring.’
‘She inspired me,’ Maya agrees.
‘Me too.’
I catch her eye again across the table, reaching out beyond the edge to take her hands in mine. We saw each other just last night, but it already feels like too long has passed. To be fair, we have nine years of lost time to make up for.
‘So, is this match also going to be on the news?’ Maya’s dad asks, peering between me and Maya. ‘Maybe this time, you two can get interviewed.’
‘We would rather it be about the kids,’ Maya says.
We’ve both agreed that we definitely don’t want to be social media stars – or any kind of stars – in relation to this match, and the rivalry between us that people have played into.
But now I wonder if that would change if I took the job as a coach.
I wonder what else might change. If we would still have these dinners with my and Maya’s families, which we try to schedule every other month.
Or if I’d be travelling, or if I’d have to move away. What would that even look like?
‘You OK?’ Maya asks, leaning forward to whisper it so that only I hear the question.
‘Yeah, fine,’ I say. I’m going to tell Maya about Jen’s call – the real news that she shared. But I don’t want to do it in front of everyone.
‘Well, I have some news,’ Ma declares all of a sudden. We all turn to her with a questioning look. I can’t even fathom what news she might have. ‘We were talking about inspiration before and I’ve been inspired too.’
‘By Jen?’ Deen asks with a frown.
‘No, of course not,’ Ma scoffs. ‘By the two of you.’ Her face softens as she looks between us. ‘You did what I thought was impossible. You continued pursuing the things that you love, and you made it happen. You achieved your dreams. And I want to do that too.’
Deen’s eyes widen, while I try to soak up her words. Try to understand what she’s really saying.
‘You’re going to go back to acting?’ I ask.
Ma nods. ‘Well, I’ll try. I’ll see what I can do.
Even a few small roles would be good. I want to do something that brings me joy.
I know I might be too old now to be some kind of film star, but maybe there’s still something for me out there.
I gave up so quickly when I was younger.
’ She gives all of us at the table a cautious look.
‘You don’t think it’s a bad idea, do you? ’
‘No!’ Deen says quickly. ‘It’s an amazing idea. I think you should do it, Ma.’
‘I agree.’ I nod.
Maya and her parents offer their agreement too.
‘I actually know a few people who might be able to help you get your foot in the door,’ Maya’s dad chimes in. ‘There’s Bimi Bhabi’s daughter, right? Didn’t she study acting, and didn’t she do a bunch of theatre shows on the West End?’
‘Yes!’ Maya’s mum says, her eyes flashing with recognition. ‘You should definitely reach out to her. I bet she can set you on the right path.’
Ma smiles at us, her eyes full of hope and promise – something that it seemed my mother had lost before I was even born. It’s nice to see her like this.
‘So, what’s up with you tonight?’ Maya asks later on, after her parents and Ma have gone home and we’ve left Deen at the restaurant to close up. We’re walking hand in hand back to my apartment, the chilly air nipping at us.
‘I’ve just been thinking,’ I say.
‘About …?’
‘Jen’s call.’
‘I knew there was more you weren’t telling me about the call!’ She squeezes my hands and leans into me until her body is pressed flushed against me. ‘Tell me what she said.’
‘There’s a scout coming to the match next week.’
‘Oh, yeah. Ms Jacobs mentioned that might be a possibility at some point,’ Maya says. ‘She didn’t say which match they’d be coming to, though. They’re really coming to the one between us?’
‘Yes, that’s what Jen said.’
‘And it’s bringing up some bad memories for you?’ Maya asks, peering at me closely.
‘No, of course not,’ I say, though I can’t blame her for asking.
I was caught up in the past for a long time and it kept me from moving forward into the future.
‘She said that the scout was also interested in me. She thinks she has a position for me as an assistant coach for a professional team. She wants to talk to me about it apparently.’
Maya stops in her tracks, and since we’re arm in arm, I almost fall over when she does. I pull my arm away from Maya’s and turn to face her. She looks shocked by my news – I guess as shocked as I was when I first heard it.
‘This isn’t bringing up bad memories for you, is it?’ I ask.
Maya shakes her head. ‘No, it isn’t. I just … That’s amazing, Dina.’ And Maya sounds like she genuinely means it.
‘Yeah, I guess it is,’ I say.
‘So, why aren’t you more excited? Why didn’t you tell us about it literally as soon as you got to dinner?’ Maya inquires.
‘I guess I don’t know if I actually want it.’
Maya’s eyes widen as she scans my face. ‘Why would you not want it?’
‘Because it would mean so many things would change. I like the way things are now. I mean, I might have to move away or do a lot of travelling, and there’s so many things to think about. There’s Deen and Ma, and there’s the Divas. And there’s you.’
Maya sighs and steps forward, linking our fingers together. ‘If you move, I’d come with you. If you travel, we would figure it out.’
‘But you have a stable job at the school. One that you love. And you just started that mentorship programme for women of colour in football. You’re so passionate about that,’ I say.
‘Yeah but …’ Maya shrugs. ‘I love you more than either of those things. Obviously.’
I smile, but I also know that I would never ask Maya to give up what she has. And I’m not sure if I’m ready to give up what I have either.
‘It’s not just about that. I mean, when Jen told me, for a moment, it felt like I was stepping into some kind of dream. But when I thought about it, I wondered if my dreams have changed,’ I say. ‘I love coaching the Divas, and I love the life we have here. I don’t think I want another life.’
Maya studies me. ‘Are you sure about that? Because this is a really great opportunity, and I don’t want you to give up on that for any reason, if it’s what you want.’
‘It’s not what I want,’ I say, and this time I say it confidently.
This time, I know that I mean it. There’s a past version of me that would have leapt at an opportunity like this, who would do anything to be in that world.
But I’m not that person anymore. ‘I wouldn’t mind a few changes in my life, though. ’
Maya gives me a confused smile. ‘OK … what kind of changes?’
‘Well, I would like the Divas to finally beat your team in a game, for one,’ I reply.
Maya rolls her eyes. ‘Never going to happen.’
I break out into a grin. ‘Also, I would quite like to leave my apartment behind.’
‘You like that apartment,’ Maya says.
‘Yeah but … I could like another one. One where you and I live.’
Maya’s smile widens. ‘Yeah, I think I’d like that change too.’ She leans forward and presses her lips to mine, before looping her hands through mine. We walk like that, hand in hand back to my apartment, and towards the rest of our lives.