Chapter 16
Lucas
Lucas was walking, but he wasn’t quite sure where.
The evening had turned colder and sharper, and a breeze was whipping around him like an unwanted embrace.
He wasn’t sure where his anger had come from, but now it filled his bones like a heavy weight, and it was making it difficult for him to walk freely.
He fought against it, pushing forward. He just needed to get away.
The loudness of the bar and the heat inside had become unbearable and he didn’t want to answer the inevitable questions that Greg and Rachel would have thrown at him if he’d stayed.
It wasn’t just that. He couldn’t stay there with her.
Why did Willow do this to him? She seemed to get into his head and bury herself in there like a mite.
It had been like this for years – except when she hadn’t been here, he could at least try to pretend that she didn’t exist anymore.
Having her back was hard. All those complex, twisted emotions were resurfacing and Lucas didn’t like it.
How could he love and detest someone so strongly?
How could he wish somebody would go away, and yet yearn for them to come closer so badly?
None of it made any sense, and Lucas hated things that didn’t make sense.
He loved logic. Clear, defined emotions. Lines drawn in the sand.
He wished he didn’t have these feelings for her.
They burned so deep inside him, it felt like his entire body was aflame.
He needed her to go back to Seattle. He couldn’t be at peace while she was here stirring things up again.
Perhaps that was why he snapped. It was difficult keeping everything in.
It probably didn’t help that he had downed two beers on an empty stomach. Lucas shook his head sadly, trying to settle his thoughts. He had never been a good drinker. Everything felt bigger and more urgent now. He needed some time to calm down.
But Willow had made a big mistake contacting that influencer.
Because that was what she was going to do – create a total mess.
Just look what happened before, when that YouTuber had visited. They were still picking up the pieces now. The last thing this town needed was to be splashed all over social media. And Lucas was cursed; he shouldn’t go anywhere near it.
Lucas stopped walking. He was standing by the benches lining the small pond that faced the church and town hall. He took a deep, shaky breath and then sat down. His head was spinning. He hadn’t planned this, but it had been his first evening off in ages.
Lucas leaned back on the hard seat, suddenly realizing just how tired he was. He was always tired. He hated being like this.
He shouldn’t have snapped at Willow. He assumed she would’ve known about those crappy posts from earlier last year, but maybe she didn’t. At the time, it had felt like the whole world knew.
He needed to speak to her. He needed to apologize. To explain properly.
But not yet. First, he needed to cool down, sober up and be calm.
Lucas pulled himself back up and prepared for a long walk.
The posts had appeared this time last year, almost to the date. The influencer hadn’t been a well-known one, but his content had gained traction. He was commenting on the ‘dullest towns in the US’ and unfortunately, Honey Springs had slipped into his top ten.
Lucas blamed himself for most of what happened next.
He should have realized that the shady guy taking notes in the corner of The Diner was up to something.
He should have switched on his charm (it was still there somewhere, surely) and attempted to woo the guy with his specials menu.
Instead, he snapped at him, said something sarcastic about ‘writing a stupid novel’ and asked him to ‘hurry his ass along because they wanted to close early’.
To be fair to Lucas, the man had been sitting there, sipping the same coffee for over two hours and it was nearly closing time.
The anniversary of his mother’s death had only been a few days before and was still fresh in his mind.
He wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to be dealing with stragglers.
The guy later posted that The Diner had the atmosphere of a funeral parlor and that he would have preferred to be served by the Grim Reaper than Lucas. It wasn’t a particularly glowing review.
It didn’t help that he chose to stay at the Parkers’s inn.
The pictures of the shabby interior and dated décor did nothing to improve the town’s image.
Nor did the fact that both Parker sisters were extremely rude to him, refused to accept his credit card (because it was a brand they didn’t recognize) and alluded to the fact that he might be a serial killer because of his ‘shifty eyes’.
Greg didn’t help matters either by deciding to shut the bar and spend the night at the gaming room, so when the reviewer decided he wanted to sample a local brew, he only found a locked door.
In fact, none of the shops or attractions came off well.
They were reviewed as too dull or old-fashioned and the influencer seemed to allude to the fact that the town was in some kind of time warp that it hadn’t escaped from.
Even the great waterfall came off badly (though Lucas couldn’t see how).
It had been a rainy day, and the guy had simply decided that it was overrated and not particularly big anyway.
‘Only come if you like mountains,’ the reviewer stated in the end. ‘They are wonderful. But you can go to other towns like Westpine Ridge to appreciate them. Not this deadbeat nightmare.’
Deadbeat nightmare.
Those words had stung. Really stung, and Lucas knew he wasn’t the only one in town to feel personally slammed by it.
Lucas had once read that bad publicity was better than no publicity, but he couldn’t believe anyone who’s been dissected online would ever say that.
The whole experience had left its mark on the town, and none of it was good.
The Parkers struggled with future bookings.
Lucas found that customers were choosing to eat elsewhere, and the town that was already struggling to find its way was slowly being buried by its own poor behavior.
It wasn’t long after that when Lucas handed his keys over to Janice and legged it to New York, thinking that it would be better, that he could escape his demons. That being with Mia would help him to find his direction.
Only he learned that you can’t run from your demons. They follow you.
As does bad press.
The walk helped. After a circuit or two of the town, he felt calmer and more focused. Before he could change his mind, he headed towards Willow’s cabin, prepared to fully apologize for his earlier behavior.
He wasn’t sure that she would be back there, but he had been walking for an hour or so and couldn’t imagine that Willow would stay in the company of Rachel and Greg for too long. They weren’t exactly being over friendly towards her and he hadn’t helped that.
He hoped she was here anyway. He needed to speak to her somewhere quiet. To explain properly. Not all this was Willow’s fault.
He approached Willow’s cabin with caution, his body tensing with anticipation and his skin suddenly beginning to prickle with sweat.
It seemed odd to think of her here when for so long, she had lived at Martha’s house.
It didn’t seem right that she would be in this tiny little home that had been the shabby hideout for an old loner.
But Jenn had done a good job fixing it up.
The outside was brightly painted and there were plant pots scattered around outside.
Lucas realized he hadn’t been up here since she had renovated.
Time passed so quickly. In just the blink of an eye, so much had changed.
He saw that the windows were aglow with a soft, yellowing light.
Someone was in. As he drew closer, he heard music playing.
It was instantly familiar, some Sinatra number.
‘Somethin’ Stupid’ he thought it was called.
He immediately thought of his mom who loved this particular one and a deep ache pulled inside him.
He hesitated. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
Maybe he was the last person she wanted to see (and he wouldn’t blame her).
Maybe he just looked like a total creep turning up here, totally unannounced like this?
Nerves and uncertainty overtook him, and he paused.
He should go back. This wasn’t the right time at all.
Knowing him, he would only end up saying the wrong thing anyway.
However, as he made to leave, the door suddenly flew open and out stepped Willow.
She had changed into casual sweatpants and an oversized gray sweater.
Her hair was loose and falling around her shoulders in gentle waves.
In that moment, caught in the soft light of the cabin, she looked more beautiful than ever. Like an angel. Lucas felt his breath catch.
And then she spoke. Her voice was harsh and strained and very un-angel like.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’
Lucas rocked back on his feet for a moment and then managed to regain control of himself. He managed a self-assured smile, something he had taught himself to do to show that he was calm, even when he wasn’t.
‘I was just passing. I wanted to make sure you were settled in OK.’
Willow crossed her arms over her body. ‘I heard noises outside. I was worried. How long had you been skulking out there?’
‘I wasn’t skulking anywhere. I came to check on you.’ He paused, feeling his walls close back around him. ‘And to apologize, although now I wonder if I should bother.’
Her chin lifted. ‘I wouldn’t want your apology if it wasn’t meant anyway. And you don’t need to check on me. I’m not a child. I’m fine.’
‘Really?’ He dared to broaden his smile. ‘You look a little freaked out.’
‘You think? Some strange man is hanging out in front of my cabin. The same man who insulted me a few hours ago.’
Some man? Wow. He breathed out. That was a low blow. She really didn’t think anything of him at all.
‘I don’t know why I’m bothering,’ he grumbled. ‘I thought you might appreciate me coming here. I didn’t have to.’
‘No, you didn’t.’ Her eyes shone in the fading light. ‘In fact, I wish you hadn’t, Lucas. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but it’s not fair taking it out on me. I’m not here to cause problems. I only want to try something new. Is that so bad? Why do you hate me so much for that?’
Hate.
How could she even think that for a minute?
He stared at the ground. ‘No. Of course, it isn’t bad to try something new. I don’t mean to take anything out on you.’
Her expression softened. ‘I get that it’s tough, Lucas. So much has changed here. I can’t get used to not seeing your mom at The Diner and you know my grandma was like a mom to me too. We have both lost someone dear to us.’
He lifted his head. Willow’s gaze held his.
Those large, warm eyes were so difficult to pull away from; it was as if they had magnetic strength.
Lucas could feel the words build inside him.
He was ready to tell her more. To say that it wasn’t just his mom that made him sad.
Having Willow back was making him remember so many emotions that he had buried deep.
Having Willow here was both frustrating and exciting – and somehow, he couldn’t work out which feeling was stronger.
Maybe it was time to be honest. To tell her how he had felt for so long, and how she had hurt him so badly all those years ago. He licked his lips and let the words come slowly.
‘Will, there is more. I need to—’
He was interrupted by the loud sound of a ringtone. Willow looked as startled as he did. She jumped back as if stung and dug in her pocket for her phone. Her expression changed as she soon as she saw the name on the screen. She frowned a little as if embarrassed.
‘It’s Jake. Is it OK if I take this, it might be important?’ she asked shyly. ‘Maybe we can catch up tomorrow?’
Lucas shrugged. It wasn’t like he was going to say anything that major. He was only planning to unfurl all his deepest feelings to her. He should have known it would be a mistake.
Maybe Jake had saved him from embarrassing himself completely.
He buried his hands in his pockets, watching as Willow answered the phone with a breathy hello. She waved at him briefly before turning back to the cabin and closing the door behind her.
Greg had been wrong about one thing. Those two certainly weren’t breaking up. They didn’t even seem close to it.
Slowly, he trudged away, back towards The Diner.
Tonight had taught him a lesson. He couldn’t afford to get close to Willow. Not again.
He wasn’t sure if he could survive being smashed to pieces once more.