Chapter 26 #2
‘I’m fine.’ She clattered the pan loudly and then began to pour the warm milk into two cups. ‘It’s just hot chocolate. It’s not like I’m making one of your delicacies.’
She padded through clutching two warm mugs and offered one to Lucas, then curled herself up on the sofa opposite. Lucas cupped his hands around the mug, letting the warmth seep into his skin.
‘So …’ he said after a moment or so. ‘Are you going to explain about the mess?’
‘Like I said. It’s silly.’ She sipped her drink. ‘You wouldn’t get it.’
‘Maybe I would?’
‘Seriously?’ Her eyes twinkled. ‘Luc, I’m guessing you haven’t changed. You’ve always been so tidy. I remember I used to invite you over to mine just so that you’d sort my bedroom out for me. You loved organizing my bookshelves.’
‘Oh, so that’s the only reason you invited me?’ He pulled a hurt expression. ‘Way to hurt a guy.’
‘Of course, it wasn’t the only reason, but you can’t deny you loved it. You’ve always enjoyed cleaning up.’
‘But you aren’t exactly messy, not like Mia anyway. That woman could live in a sty and be content,’ he joked. ‘I couldn’t imagine you’d be happy keeping the place like this.’
She pulled a face. ‘The truth is, I’m not. Like I said, I was trying something. I wanted to live completely differently to how I did in Seattle. There, I was so tidy and clean; I was particularly sterile.’
‘Ah.’ Lucas nodded slowly. ‘You’re rebelling.’
‘I guess …’ Her gaze drifted off, beyond Lucas, like she was focusing on someone standing behind him. ‘Life was different back there, so structured and ordered. Jake liked things to be clean, like really clean. We had someone coming in every day, nothing was ever out of place.’
Lucas blew out his cheeks. ‘He sounds worse than me.’
‘Yeah, you’re tidy, but Jake is far more. He likes—’
‘Control?’
Willow shrugged. ‘I guess.’
Lucas took a sip of his drink. It was sweeter than he had expected, and the warmth flooded his mouth. Maybe it helped loosen his tongue a little.
‘That doesn’t sound like much fun.’
Willow studied him for a moment. Her eyes looked less sharp, more tired. She sighed softly.
‘I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. I’m sorry. I’m all over the place.’
‘Join the club. I know how that feels.’
Her expression softened. She placed her mug on the table and moved forward a little. ‘Luc, I really am sorry for not remembering your mom’s anniversary. I knew the date, of course I did, but the days are just flying by at the moment. I wish you had said something though.’
Lucas pressed his lips together. ‘I couldn’t, Willow. I wanted to, but I find it so hard, even talking about her. Even now. I think you coming back has made it harder.’
‘Really? Why?’
That fist in his gut tightened again. He knew this would be hard but didn’t figure it would hurt quite as much as it did. His grip on the warm mug tightened; he kind of needed the burn.
‘Because you remind me of how things used to be back then. Before my mom got ill … Back when we were friends. When I—’
‘We were such good friends, weren’t we?’ Willow interrupted, her eyes sparkling. ‘I’ve been thinking of that too. How much I miss it. What happened the other night – it was unexpected, but good—’
‘It was?’ Lucas could actually feel his heart leap. ‘I was so worried.’
‘Worried about what?’
‘I dunno – that you might have regretted it? That it was too soon after Jake?’
Willow lowered her gaze. ‘I guess things did move faster than I expected, but I don’t regret it. I just don’t know what keeps happening to us, Luc? We were close before and it all went wrong and now this. It feels like we are getting each other wrong. I don’t understand it.’
Lucas shifted in his seat. He put his mug on the floor by his feet and drew out a long breath. ‘I do.’
She frowned a little. ‘What? What was it? If it was something I did, Luc, I want to know.’ She reached forward and took his hands in hers. Their skin was so warm, but together the heat grew. Lucas felt prickles of electricity spark up his arms. It was all he could do not to pull her onto his lap.
To hold her properly.
To kiss her again.
To pull off that baggy top and reveal her body underneath – to kiss her all over, drink in every inch of her, stroke her soft skin, ease her sweatpants down …
He shook his head. He could feel himself getting aroused and now was not the time.
‘What happened to us, Luc?’ she breathed.
‘I—’
Then a resounding sound pierced through. Willow jumped back, releasing his hands.
‘Oh, my phone,’ she said, immediately looking around for it. ‘It’s probably Jake. He likes to keep me updated on his work.’
‘Does he call you every day?’ Lucas couldn’t hide his surprise.
‘Sure,’ she replied. ‘I told you before, he’s still my friend, Luc. We ended on good terms.’
There was a hint of defiance in her tone as she scrambled up and ran into the kitchen. Lucas watched as she found the phone by the debris of the hot chocolate preparation.
‘Jake …’
He heard her suck in a breath.
‘Really? Slow down – hang on …’
She headed into the bedroom and Lucas sunk back into the chair. The moment had gone. He had been prepared to explain everything to her, to fully open up – but as usual Jake had come along and spoiled everything.
They may have broken up, but was Jake really letting her go?
He took another sip of his drink, but it now tasted bitter on his tongue.
‘Wow,’ Willow said, as she stepped back into the room. ‘It sounds like Jake had a pretty heavy day at work. He sounds emotionally drained. But he’s got some great material to use.’
‘Well, that’s the main thing of course,’ Lucas said dryly.
Willow shot him a warning look. ‘I think he’s really been through a lot, Luc. His work is challenging at times.’
Lucas put his empty mug on the table. ‘I’ll be sure to check out his footage later. Listen, Will, I think I should go now. It’s getting late.’
Willow was staring into the distance again, looking distracted. ‘Mmmm – what was that?’
‘I said I better go.’ Lucas stood up. ‘It was nice chatting and all, but I’ve got an early start in the morning.’
Willow finally turned to face him. Her skin was slightly paler and she was chewing on her bottom lip. ‘We didn’t get to finish talking.’
‘We can another time.’ Lucas shrugged. ‘It’s not like I won’t get to see you again.’
‘I guess.’ Willow stood up too. She stepped forward and touched Lucas’s arm. He tried not to flinch. ‘Luc, Jake freaked me out a bit. He was really worried about something on the phone and that’s not like him at all.’
‘Really?’ Lucas tried to sound interested, but in reality, anything involving Jake made him want to get out of here even quicker. Why did she care so much? But there was no doubt that something was bothering Willow. ‘What did he say?’
‘He said he thinks a storm is coming our way. Apparently, the weather channels are playing it down, but his friend is a weather geek and he’s worried it might hit us hard – something to do with the current pressure and our position by the mountains.’
Lucas shrugged. ‘We’ve had storms before, Willow. You know we can deal with them.’
‘But what if this is a bad one? Jake seemed so worked up. He told me to prepare. He thinks it will hit later tomorrow.’
‘Well, if it does, we’ll deal with it.’ Lucas carefully took Willow’s hand and squeezed it in his own. ‘It will be OK. I promise.’
They locked eyes again. Something deep and almost terrifying surged through Lucas. His gaze drifted down to Willow’s lips, how they were so perfect and just so slightly parted. He felt a different feeling, a familiar, primal urge to sink further within himself and he released his grip quickly.
He had to leave.
There was nothing for him here.