Chapter 3
THREE
“If I may ask, sir, how is your sister?”
He looked at her then. Her chin was still down but her eyes tentatively looked up at him, full of sincere concern and perhaps contrition.
Darcy shifted slightly, but bumped into a spade leaning against the wall, leaving a long streak of soil on his coat sleeve.
He could not follow his instinctive practice, to move about as he spoke upon a difficult subject.
He forced himself to stand still, his arms tightly folded against his chest, not quite facing her.
“She still suffers. There has been some small improvement over the several months since her near disgrace, yet she is still too quiet and listless. She takes little pleasure in her usual joys, like her music or her watercolours. She rarely rides. She has taken to staying with my aunt. Since Ramsgate, she is not comfortable in my company.” He barked a bitter laugh. “My aunt says I hover too much.”
The sight, the nearness of her, flustered him so much that he blurted out the question that had kept him up all night.
He glared at her and barked, “Do you love him?”
She gaped at him in confusion, finally stammering, “Do I…? Who?”
“Wickham. Are you in love with him?”
“What? No!” Elizabeth stepped back and bumped her head against a pair of long-handled pruning shears.
She caught her breath and touched the side of her head, wincing.
“No, I do not and never did. I suppose I thought him charming and amusing. No one has ever spoken so charmingly to me before, and I found it enjoyable.” She paused and said slowly, “I thought him a victim of someone more powerful. He played me like a violin, I now understand. I do not know why he singled me out among all the other ladies there.”
“He sought you out because of me.”
Stung, Elizabeth’s chin rose. Her lips thinned, her tone was sharp. “Why would you say that? Not everything in the world happens because of you. Or do you think I am not tolerable or handsome enough for any man to wish to converse with me?”
Tolerable? Not handsome enough? Those words were somehow familiar to him. But Elizabeth was still speaking.
“His charm was a balm to whatever shreds of vanity I had at the time but can no longer claim. I am ashamed that I did not see through him, that I believed his lies. I had considered myself more perceptive than that.”
Darcy heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, partially dislodging the heavy cobweb caught in it.
“I did not mean that. I only meant that Wickham can read me very well. That day we met in the high street in Meryton, before I noted his presence there, I was... admiring you. I expect he noticed that.” He shifted slightly, his broad shoulders bumping against a garden fork, causing it to clatter to the floor.
His eyed fixed on the floor, he continued. “Wickham has a long history of…beguiling people I care for. He likes to show me up by demonstrating how amiable and pleasing he is, what a charming conversationalist, which I am not. His charm conceals his true nature.
“He hurts people. Persons of every station. He uses his wiles to take what he wants regardless of the harm he does. With shopkeepers and tradesmen, he leaves debts behind. With young women, he leaves ruin and disgrace.”
“And you have been compelled to repair what he has ruined?”
Darcy nodded. “Since our days at university.”
“Did your sister love him?” Elizabeth did not want to say the scoundrel’s name.
“Georgiana thought she did, but with time she realised her heart was not broken. What she feels is shame, profound shame. She has no confidence. She fears that she will be fooled again; that her dowry is a liability, and no man will ever want her for herself. She was already reticent by nature; now, she does not want to come out in society at all.”
“Can she not recover some confidence by spending time with her friends? Daughters of your aunt’s friends, or girls with whom she attended school?
Perhaps she has friends her own age who enjoy music or art, and they could practise together.
Your aunt might enjoy taking the girls to concerts or exhibitions.
Or perhaps she can start by corresponding with other girls she knows.
The company of friends of an age, speaking of what young ladies speak of amongst themselves, might take her mind away from her feelings of shame. ”
She did not think it possible for Mr Darcy to appear any more grave that he did, but his frown deepened.
“Georgiana did not mix well with the other girls at her school. She is too much like me. She is quiet and reticent; she is not at ease with others until she has known them for some time. Because of that, she was unable to easily join in larks and tomfoolery, which gave her a reputation of being priggish and thinking herself too high.”
“That is a family trait?”
“Of the Darcys, not the Fitzwilliams. You are acquainted with my cousin Fitzwilliam; he is an example of that family’s ease in manner and conversation.”
Elizabeth looked up at him appraisingly. “And I would guess that other young ladies would offer her a pretence of friendship because she has a brother who is exceedingly eligible?”
“She did have that experience, yes, several times.”
“Shall I presume that you also had that happen to you while you were in school?”
“You would be correct.”
“Oh! That is…” Elizabeth shook her head, seeming to search for words. “I am so very sorry that happened to you and to Miss Darcy. How horrible to be betrayed by those you consider friends. And you were both betrayed and deceived by… well, I would rather not say his name. I think I understand.”
She looked at him, concern in her eyes. “Must she come out at all? If she still does not wish to in a few years? Do the rules of the first circles make it an obligation for a young lady to come out even if she does not wish it?”
Darcy was touched by her solicitude, especially after his words the day before, after everything. He shook his head. “I am afraid she must. It is expected of all young ladies and gentlemen, though there is no formality or fuss when a young man reaches an age to attend society events.”
“My sister Jane did not anticipate her come-out either. She is a reserved person, you see, like Miss Darcy. My mother wanted her to come out when she was fifteen, but thankfully my father stepped in and prevented that, and she came out at seventeen. It was not so difficult for her at that age.
“We also have the advantage, if one can call it that, of being a small, rather insular community. We seldom have newcomers in our neighbourhood, so every other person attending an assembly is already known to us. Though perhaps you would not consider that an advantage; I recall your remark about confined, unvarying society. But for a reticent young person, be they male or female, that seems to be the easiest way for them.”
Elizabeth paused; her lovely, expressive countenance suddenly sobered, reminding Darcy of a cloud passing over the sun, leaving the landscape below in shadow.
What is she thinking of? He was just about to enquire when she spoke again.
“I suppose you may be excused for your cynicism after all you have witnessed among the ladies in town. I do understand that. Having met Mr Bingley’s sisters, I cannot imagine how you face such rapacity year after year.
But that does not mean you can assume that you know enough about my sister to set yourself up as judge and jury of her feelings. ”
She looked up at him imploringly.
“Jane is a true gentlewoman, worthy of all that the word entails. She has, without complaint, borne the expectations of my mother; endured years of being pressed over and over again to marry a wealthy man; told that she alone can save our family. In her own quiet way, she resists my mother. Jane would never throw herself at a man. She is quiet and reserved, carefully guarded in what she displays to others. She treats all others with kindness and courtesy.”
Elizabeth stopped, obviously struggling with what to say.
She took a breath. “Her kindness leads her to assume the best of others who do not deserve her regard. Jane believed that Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst truly meant what they only pretended, that they sincerely wished to form a lasting friendship with her. Even when she received a letter from Miss Bingley stating that they were not returning to Netherfield and hinting rather broadly about an expected engagement between her brother and Miss Darcy, Jane took it to mean that they were kindly and delicately warning her to guard her heart. Of course, she was already deeply hurt.”
Darcy listened intently. He repeated what Elizabeth had just stated. “You are telling me that Miss Bingley informed your sister that there was an understanding between Bingley and Georgiana?”
“Not in a straightforward manner, but yes, she did, after their return to London from Hertfordshire. She further offered the suggestion that one marriage between the two families would lead to another.”
Darcy heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, his elbow bumping against a shelf, sending packets of seeds cascading to the floor. “That is ridiculous. Georgiana is not yet out, and you understand my and my sister’s feelings about coming out any time soon.”
“At the time, we did not know that,” Elizabeth reminded him. “Though it was painful and humiliating for her, Jane believed them. She does not naturally assume that others may be prevaricating. She made excuse after excuse for their behaviour as well as for Mr Bingley’s.”
She hesitated. “I did assume, especially after Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst barely and most discourteously returned Jane’s visit to their home, that they had been the source of the plan, but that you had aided in keeping them apart.
Colonel Fitzwilliam confirmed my suspicions yesterday, when he related to me that you have more than once helped a friend out of what he called “scrapes” with young ladies, and that you had recently done so again. I knew whom he meant.”
Elizabeth sighed and shifted from one foot to the other, gravel and bits of pottery crunching under her feet. A ball of twine rolled off the workbench and fell on the floor behind her.
“After our quarrel I could not sleep. Though I have been very angry about how ill Jane has been used, I began to reflect upon what your cousin said of Mr Bingley. He himself said that whatever he decided to do, he would do in a hurry. It seems to suggest that Mr Bingley is… not entirely dependable or perhaps even capricious. It has made me consider that perhaps Jane has escaped a misalliance.” She once again raised her beautiful eyes to his.
“Is that true? Should I tell my sister what I have heard?”
Trapped by her gaze, Darcy was powerless to tell her anything but the truth.
“No, I beg you would not. Bingley is a good man.
Though he is progressing, he is yet rather green in some aspects.
Bingley was very young when his father died.
The elder Mr Bingley, with his dying wish, pressed him urgently with the charge of raising the family to the ranks of the gentry.
“Though Bingley’s father had not had the benefit of a university education, he sent Bingley to Cambridge, where we became friends.
I made my way into society a few years before he was finished with university, and wanted to protect him, to share my experiences with him so he would not succumb to an entrapment. ”
He uncomfortably moved from one foot to the other.
“Bingley has been much affected these past months. He is uncharacteristically subdued and does not go out into society as he was used to do, only when his sisters demand it of him. Perhaps… the advice I have given him has been filtered too much by my own personal experience, my own biases and prejudices. Perhaps I have been… too involved.”
“Apparently we both have strong opinions and are overly protective.”
“If… if I were to inform Bingley that Miss Bennet is in town and that her feelings equal his… “
“You would do that?”
The glow of hope and happiness that lit up her face touched his heart. Even if he had been correct about Miss Bennet’s feelings towards his friend, Elizabeth very much believed her sister to be truly in love with Bingley.
Now that he felt the pain of crushed hopes himself, he could more readily understand his friend’s low spirits.
“I would. I will, when I return to town. Then let us give them the respect they deserve to make their own decisions.”