Chapter 5
FIVE
Spending the day in Northampton suited Elizabeth perfectly.
When the scheme had been presented to her father and Lord Halsley at dinner the previous evening, the earl had proclaimed, “It is an excellent notion. Darcy, I know you have been there before, but I do not believe any of the ladies have.” He paused until all three of them had said they had not.
“I must stay here, regrettably, to meet with my steward about some important business, but Bennet, you might like to join them.”
She had not been surprised, or particularly disappointed, when he declined. “Two young ladies visiting shops after not being able to do so all week, even with Mrs Annesley’s steady presence? I have not the fortitude to withstand their eagerness.”
Elizabeth had assured Georgiana he was joking, and Mr Darcy, fortunately, had treated it as such—even if he did not look like he found it amusing—which eased his sister’s discomfort.
Haelthorpe was only six miles from the town, and, despite the rain of the last day and a half, the roads were in good condition.
Mr Darcy led them on a tour to see the attractions he thought they would like best, mostly buildings of architectural or historical interest. Watching him as he shared what he knew, Elizabeth realised she could listen to him for hours, longer even.
In all the months she had known him, she had never seen him so at ease.
The gentleness with which he treated his sister, and his respect and kindness towards Mrs Annesley—which were clearly unaffected—demonstrated why his family and friends valued him.
As for how he acted towards her… Without doing anything marked, he made her blush again and again.
It was the look in his eyes, the way he paid close attention to each word she said, even his attempts not to smile or laugh when she said something teasing.
They visited the shops, just as her father had assumed they would, and at one, she stood with Miss Darcy examining a selection of ribbons.
It reminded her of being in Meryton with her sisters, and when she mentioned it, Miss Darcy asked to hear more about them.
Elizabeth gave their names and ages, and added, “Kitty and Lydia like little better than purchasing new ribbons. I am afraid that, if I go into their bedchamber, I shall find a colourful stack of them three feet high, possibly four!” She laughed.
Miss Darcy smiled shyly. “I have always wanted a sister. Perhaps if I had one, I would have a greater collection of ribbons. I am always unsure what will suit me, and often leave without anything.”
“Well, if you will accept my advice, I am sure we can find so many new ribbons for you that, if my sisters knew of it, they would be wild with jealousy!”
Elizabeth was in the midst of helping Miss Darcy with her selections and attempting to instruct her on the colours that went best with her complexion, when she happened to glance at Mr Darcy, who was across the shop, standing next to Mrs Annesley, who was seated.
The expression in his gaze, which was fixed on her, was like a bolt of lightning passing through her.
She felt warmed and electrified by it. It was as though shadows that had obscured her vision were driven away, and a new something she could not name came clear.
It is him. I think…I think I understand now.
Mr Darcy loved his sister and had said he was glad she and Elizabeth had met; he must be pleased that they liked each other, which would be evident to anyone who saw them at the moment.
Before proposing to her, he must have considered that she would become Miss Darcy’s sister.
It would have been an easy role to fill.
The young lady was sweet, and while overly diffident, Elizabeth suspected that would change with the right person to encourage her.
I might have been that someone. Was that regret she felt?
Had rejecting him been the biggest mistake of her life, despite how insulting he had been?
Oh, why had she not understood him better months ago!
While continuing to give Miss Darcy the attention she deserved, Elizabeth struggled to order her thoughts, promising herself she would indulge in a long period of reflection once she was alone.
Three weeks after their argument at the parsonage, she had at last learnt to value the honour of his proposal.
Mr Darcy had wanted to marry her! He could not feel the same towards her after her cruel words to him that night, of course, and she would have to live with the consequences of her actions.
They would be heavy, she suspected, because, inconvenient as it was, her sentiments for him had altered.
No! she silently screamed. It is pointless to indulge such thoughts.
I will only make myself miserable. It was better to think about parting as friends.
Just two days remained until they would go their separate ways, likely to never meet again.
Then again, that was what she had told herself in November when he left Hertfordshire, and in April when he left Kent. And did not his manner today and yesterday suggest that perhaps—just perhaps—he had not entirely abandoned his dreams for their future?