Chapter 19 #2
My stomach is cramping again. Somewhere outside this building, thousands of lurkers are hiding from the daylight.
Aaron is dead beneath us. Kristian is dead in front of us.
And the people responsible for all of it—or close enough for me—are waiting inside the building where they tortured Maverick and strapped a shock collar around my neck until I admitted that my sister was dead.
I thought escaping the NRI meant I’d never have to walk into it again.
I guess the apocalypse hasn’t finished fucking with me yet.
Five to one. When Veronica—frustated and alarmed—held up her hand and called for a vote, it was five for continuing with the plan with a couple of tweaks, and one against.
Veronica came by being the leader at Camp Sunnyside honestly.
She was the one who gathered those we met on the messageboards, inviting them to take over the empty camp when it became clear that the end of the world was upon us and the lurkers weren’t going away, and she’s done everything to make sure the people who trust her at camp survive.
But, using my dad as a good example, the best leaders know when they’re beat.
At the Grave, we voted all of the time, and even when the vote goes a different way—like when he asked the survivors thought I should be able to leave for the Outside with Maverick and they overwhelmingly agreed—if you want your people to respect you, you have to stand by your word.
So while Veronica could dash the results and tells us all we’re heading back to the SUVs, she doesn’t. Scowling at her twin, she sniffs, then says, “David? Is the hall clear?”
“Yes, Vee.”
“Okay. You’ve got the torch. Go first. If you see anything, call back.
We don’t know if they have eyes on the building or if they’re expecting us to go in and out through the front.
I’m leaning toward no. They might not expect us to pull a ‘mole people’, heading underground, and I’d like to keep it that way. ”
My nose wrinkles. “Back to the sewer, I take it?”
Veronica nods. “Unless you’d rather use that sat phone to call Simon and we get the hell out of here before they even know we’re here.”
I had no interest in touching Kristian’s old phone. I don’t trust it. Can you booby-trap a sat phone? Maybe, but knowing it was the smoking gun that led to Kristian’s death… no, thanks.
I force a smile to my face. “Yay. More time in the dark, smelly sewers.”
Chase bumps his shoulder against mine. To be honest, I thought he was going to side with Veronica.
I know damn well that he’d rather put an end to this whole thing before we add to our casualties, but he’s worked alongside me and Maverick long enough to know that, even if we abort now, neither one of us will be satisfied until the NRI is destroyed and we can take as many lurkers with us as possible.
He wants to go back to the Grave. That’s what he’s always wanted. To bring me home, hunker down with me somewhere safe, and forget that we live in a dystopian hellhole these days. But he also knows he’ll never be able to do that until I got his.
From the moment Maverick Brooks walked into the Grave, asking for volunteers to go on a hunt, I had to do it.
For the sake of the twin I lost and the helplessness I’ve felt since the day Mom and Rory died all because the Injection my older brother trusted turned him into a hungering monster that ate my mother… someone has to pay. They have to.
And if I need that vengeance? Well… Chase has always told me that there isn’t anything he won’t give me. As dangerous and reckless as this mission is, he proved that once again when he voted to go after the NRI together.
So that’s what we are going to do.
Veronica has to give in. Her people want to continue. Delilah is determined to avenge Kristian—as well as those she lost, like Jules and Maverick’s wife Linsday—and while this is obviously a trap, she swears she’ll follow Jules’s map alone if she has to.
Maverick was an easy “yes”. Duh. He’s all for rescuing the scientist and…
persuading her to create more antidotes no matter how, but I know him well enough to guess that the duffel bag slung over his chest with the IEDs waiting to be primed to explode are the real reason he wants a second chance at the NRI.
David is trained to follow through on a mission.
For his vote, he just said Aaron’s name, and I’m reminded of how I told everyone that we can’t let Aaron’s death be for nothing.
He’s in, and when Veronica realized that not even her closest ally at camp was willing to head back, she had no choice but to give the command for us to head back to the access door in the basement.
Luckily, we don’t run into anyone on our careful trek down to the basement. David goes first, followed by Delilah and Maverick, Chase and me, with Veronica scowling and dragging her heels a little under the pretense of making sure no one pops out at us.
However, as soon as we hit the basement floor, Chase snags my hand, pulling me to the side.
He gestures for Veronica to go ahead, promising that we’ll be right down.
I can tell she wants to argue—especially since we both said we wanted to continue to the NRI immediately as there’s no time to waste—but she must see something in Chase’s face because she clucks her tongue.
“Two minutes. Then we’re leaving without you guys, okay?”
I’d like to think she’s bluffing, but when Veronica is “on” as the leader of her group of rebels… yeah. I’m not so sure.
Chase nods. “I’ll make it quick.”
She nods, and starts down the ladder.
I look up at Chase. His eyes are bright. His cheeks are flushed. Dirt or soot from the earlier explosion dots his face, clinging to the sweat that was there while we were in the muggy sewer underground.
And, yet, as he takes my other hand, squeezing them both, I don’t know if I’ve ever loved him more.
“Chase—”
“I can’t promise you forever anymore.”
I blink. Okay. That was the last thing I expected him to say. “What?”
He shakes his head, though he doesn’t release my hands just yet.
“I’ve been fooling myself for too long. After what happened to Aaron…
Fatima is waiting for him back at Sunnyside.
They wanted to get married, too, one day, and now he’s gone.
There is no such thing as ‘forever’, Holden, baby.
The Turning taught me that forever doesn’t exist, and I was just too fucking stubborn to get the hint. ”
No. No, no, no. Chase… he can’t give up. Not on me. Not on us. Not on the future… we’ve come so far. Literally. We left Madison behind months ago, trusting that the Grave—that our home—will still be there when we finally make it back. First, though, we’re going to accomplish what we set out to do.
We’re going to watch it all burn.
But Chase… now that we’re about to purposely storm the NRI ourselves this time, this is when he wants to finally realize that he can’t hold on to the same old stubborn determination any more?
Fucking now?
I want to jerk my hands out of his, grab him by his shirt, and shake him—but before I can, I watch the way his lips curve softly beneath the harsh basement light.
“I can’t promise you forever, but here’s what I can promise. Are you listening, sweetheart?”
I give my head a short, clearing shake. “What? Yes. Yes. I’m listening.”
And we need to hurry. Somewhere below us, the rest of our group is getting ready to move out.
“I’ll choose you to be mine in this life today. I’ll choose you tomorrow. And if we somehow get another day after that...” He blows a breath out through his nose. “I’ll keep choosing you until there aren’t any tomorrows left. I promise you that.”
My mouth falls open. My heart trips over itself. Chase… he’s not giving up on us. I don’t know how I thought for even a moment that he would have, but as though he knows that we might not survive the next stage of our assault against Project Phoenix after all… he’s promising me everything he has.
He doesn’t wait for an answer. Of course not.
Over the last few months, he’s learned that he needs to give me time.
Give me space. That he can tell me he loves me, show me he loves me, and there will come a time when I might be able to reciprocate my feelings for him the way that I once was able to do.
Fuck it. That time is now.
I reach out, taking Chase’s hand again as soon as he turns away from me, pointedly stopping him before he can start for the ladder. “Wait.”
He glances over his shoulder. “Holden?”
“Yes.” It’s breathy and it’s high-pitched, but the voice is mine.
He cocks his head.
I shove the trembling fingers of my free hand into the front pocket of my jeans, digging inside of it. Damn it! Where did it go? Where—
Yes.
I hold up the warped twist tie that I haven’t stopped carrying since Chase gave it to me. It’s gotten so misshapen, it doesn’t slide past the first knuckle on my ring finger. I shove it down onto my pinkie.
“Yes,” I blurt out for the second time. “We survive this, I’ll marry you the fucking second we step foot in New Jersey again.”
His answering grin lights up his face far more effectively than any of the torches we wielded down below. “I’m gonna hold you to it.”
“We gotta make it out of here alive.”
Chase surges forward, breaking my hold on him so that he can take my face in his hands and drop a quick kiss to my lips.
“You’re finally going to be my wife, baby. I’m fucking untouchable.”
I really, really hope so.