Chapter 17
“What do your parents and TJ think about all this?” Devyn asked as we sat and talked on FaceTime.
“You know TJ is ready to throw hands.”
“As any brother should.”
“My parents think I should talk to him.”
“I agree with them. You made him suffer for almost a week. I cussed his ass out, and Phoenix let him have it twice. It’s time for you to get some shit off your chest.”
“You’re right, but I’m not reaching out to him. I’m unblocking him now, and if he calls, I’ll answer.”
“He’s been blowing your phone up all week, so I’m sure you’ll get a call soon after you unblock him. Are you still mad?”
“No. I’m more pissed than anything. It bothers me that he lets Kavia trigger him so much.”
“Phoenix said he blames her for tearing y’all apart and hasn’t forgiven her.”
“That’s obvious, and from what I’ve seen, she does and says things intentionally to set him off. I don’t like that she has so much power over him.”
“Yeah, that’s not good, but let’s not waste our energy discussing that ho. Do you know what you want to say to him?”
“Not really. I guess it depends on what he says.”
“Yeah. Follow his lead. I know I said we should stop talking about her, but I feel like hopping on a flight just to beat Kavia’s ass.”
“Oh my God. When I see her again, I may not be able to restrain myself. That pop in the mouth clearly wasn’t enough to make her shut the fuck up and stop spreading false information.”
“She needs a good old-fashioned ass whupping delivered straight from the south side of Chicago. That will teach her ass not to speak on things she knows nothing about.”
“Oh shit. He’s calling.”
“I told you it wouldn’t be long. Call me back.”
“Okay.” Our call ended, and I answered Phyre’s call. “Hello.”
“Sweetness, you answered.”
“I heard you wanted to talk.”
“I want to apologize, but I’d rather do it in person.”
“I’m not coming to you, and I don’t want you to know where I am.”
“Can we meet somewhere?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll send you the address.”
“Okay.”
The call ended, and shortly after, an address came through.
I copied and pasted it into the rideshare app, and a car would arrive in five minutes.
I was dressed very simply in jeans and a long-sleeved graphic T-shirt.
After slipping on my gym shoes and grabbing my phone and purse, I headed to the lobby.
My ride arrived as soon as I stepped outside, and it took about twenty minutes to get to the restaurant. As I exited the vehicle, I received a text from Phyre, letting me know he’d arrived and was waiting at the door.
I approached the building and saw him looking at his phone. He looked up before I reached him, and we made eye contact. When he smiled, I couldn’t help but do so as well.
“Thank you for not standing me up,” he said.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Can I have a hug?”
The thought of being in his arms again made me weak, and I needed every ounce of strength I had to get through this conversation.
“I’m not really fucking with you right now. Maybe later.”
He looked disappointed but nodded and opened the restaurant door. Once we were both inside, we were immediately escorted to a booth in the back corner. The server arrived quickly, giving us her spiel, taking our drink order, and leaving us to peruse the menu.
“I haven’t eaten much today, so I’m starving,” I said.
“Order as much as you think you want, and whatever you don’t eat, you can always take it with you.”
“True.”
We decided what we wanted, and when the server returned with our drinks, we ordered our food. Once we were alone again, I became a little nervous.
“I’ve missed you,” Phyre confessed.
“I hate to admit it, but I’ve missed you too.”
“A miscarriage?” I nodded. “Are you sure I can’t hug you?”
“It’s not necessary. I’ve dealt with the pain of my loss.”
“But I haven’t. I’m still processing the news.”
“This isn’t about you right now.”
He nodded in understanding, and the sadness in his eyes almost broke me.
“I really fucked up, baby, and I apologize from the deepest part of my heart. Kavia said—”
“Kavia.” He nodded. “Let’s start there. Why do you allow her to get to you?”
“Hate is a strong word, but I hate her. I despise her existence, and I mean it from the depths of my soul. I’m very intentional about not sharing space with her, but the devil has been working overtime since God brought you back to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen her more times in the past two months than I had in the previous six, and every time, she was on some bullshit. It’s like I’m being tested.”
“She’s not my cup of tea either, and I already stepped out of character once dealing with her. I’d lose my shit if I had to interact with her regularly.”
“So, you understand.”
“I do, to a certain extent, but I don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about her. Before we move on, I’d like to know exactly what she said that set you off.”
“The night of the gala, Kavia finally realized who you were. I wasn’t aware that she’d ever seen you, so when she said she thought you looked familiar, I didn’t pay her any mind. Of course, she kept talking and asked if you’d told me about the baby you aborted.”
“Did you think about how she would know something like that before you believed her and got upset?”
“I did, but Kavia is very resourceful, and she spoke so confidently, I started to wonder if you were hiding something from me.”
“That’s the part that baffles me. Whenever she’s in your presence, her goal is to get under your skin, and you fall for it every time.”
“Not every time, but this time, I did. I fucked up, and I regret it with everything in me, baby.”
The server returned with our food, and once everything was on the table, she asked if we needed anything else. We shook our heads, and she disappeared. Phyre said a short blessing over our meal, and we paused our conversation for a few minutes to enjoy a few bites.
I ate slowly, taking small bites, praying I wasn’t overcome by a wave of nausea. I caught Phyre staring at me a few times and hoped he didn’t notice anything.
“Phyre, I don’t know where Kavia got her information.
I don’t know if she believes what she told you or if it was something she made up to piss you off.
I do know that shortly after I fell in love with you, I found out you were about to marry another woman.
If I’d had an abortion, it was my choice, but the fact that I miscarried our child, and you had the nerve to come at me with so much anger, forced me to take a step back. ”
Even though I’d told him twice that I didn’t want to hug him, he slid from his side of the booth and came over to my side.
I scooted toward the wall to make room for him, but when he put his arm around my shoulder, I sank into his side.
As I closed my eyes, I inhaled, allowing myself to forget about what brought us here, to live in the moment.
He kissed the top of my head repeatedly while stroking my arm softly. I remained quiet, giving him what he needed. Regardless of how long ago it was, I knew hearing the news had devastated him.
“Baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry for—”
“Phyre.” I leaned away from him, allowing me to see his face. “It’s fine. I’m good.”
“You may be good, but it’s not fine. I wasn’t there when you needed me the most, and then I accused you of—fuck! I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped fucking with me, but baby, please don’t stop fucking with me. Give me a chance to redeem myself. Give me a chance to prove I’m worthy.”
“Umm, is everything all right over here?” the server asked.
“We’re good. Thanks,” he answered.
She left as quickly as she arrived before he continued.
“I’ll never forgive myself for how I handled you and this situation.
I'll never apologize enough for my behavior. Last week, I reacted purely from emotion. You’d already told me you didn’t have any children, so when you confirmed that you’d been pregnant before, the thought of you having a miscarriage didn’t cross my mind. ”
“It didn’t cross your mind because Kavia had already told you I’d had an abortion.”
“I hate to admit it, but yeah.”
“Can you move back to the other side?”
“If you don’t want me close to you, just tell me,” he said as he moved back to his side of the booth.
Ignoring him, I continued.
“Everything you’ve said about how you behaved last Saturday is true.
You made assumptions without having all the information, you were mean and inconsiderate, and you didn’t act like someone who loved me.
Not only that, but you didn’t give me a chance to fully answer your questions.
You kept cutting me off because you’d already decided what you wanted to believe, and then had the nerve to tell me to leave.
I don’t know if I was more hurt or pissed off, but either way, I’ll never stay where I’m not wanted. ”
“I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you. My love for you knows no bounds. I fucked up, but it’s blasphemous for you to believe anything else.”
“I’m not sure what I believe.”
“You know I love you, Sweetness.”
“You love the twenty-three-year-old me and who you think I’ve become. I love the twenty-six-year-old you and who I think you’ve become. We moved too fast, living off the high of the love we once knew, and haven’t taken into consideration the life journey we’ve been on and how much we’ve changed.”
“Make it plain for me, baby, because I feel like you’re saying this is the end of us, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions or make assumptions.”
“After this ordeal, you shouldn’t jump to another conclusion or make another assumption for the rest of your life. Take those words out of your vocabulary.”
He chuckled. “You’re absolutely right.”
“You’re the only man who has ever owned my heart.
I tried to delete you from my memory and forget you existed, but it was impossible.
I never thought we’d have a second chance, but being with you again has fulfilled me in ways I didn’t think were possible.
I loved the twenty-six-year-old you enough to give the thirty-eight-year-old you a chance, but it has to be done my way. ”
“I’ll do whatever you want.”
For the next thirty minutes, we finished our food while going over the rules, boundaries, and expectations of our relationship.
“I’ll no longer be staying in your house—”
“Hold up, Nae. I—”
“You’re going to listen to me without interrupting. If you have questions, save them until the end.”
“Got it.”
“We no longer live together, and I’m coming to get the rest of my things from your house.
I would like to stay at the condo, but only if you give me your copy of the key.
I don’t want you to have unlimited access to me, but you can stay overnight on the days I specify.
Therapy . . . you need to go to therapy to deal with the issues you have with your parents, mainly your father, and Kavia.
With the way you came at me, there might be some leftover resentment toward me.
I went to therapy for years to help me deal with your betrayal and the loss of our child.
I can go back, or we can do some sessions together.
I’m open to either, but you definitely need some individual work. ”
He waited a respectable amount of time to make sure I was done before he spoke.
“Is that all?”
“For now.”
“I love you too much to let you go, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”
“Good, because I need the father of my child to be healed and whole.”
“The fath—you’re pregnant?” I nodded. “You’re having my baby?”
“I am.”
“C’mere.”
I smiled from ear to ear as I slid from the booth and eased onto his lap. There wasn’t a lot of room, but there was enough room for him to wrap me in his arms and rain kisses all over my face.
“Phyre, we’re in a public place.”
“I don’t give a damn. Why did you have me thinking you were about to leave me?”
“Oh, baby, I was gone, because you really had me fucked up. Luckily, my best friend, my mother, and your sister talked me off the ledge. Devyn and my mother know how much I loved who you were thirteen years ago. I want to fall in love with the man you are today.”
“You don’t have to believe me, but I’m already in love with who you are today. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove it.”