Chapter 14 Milton #2
“Hazel,” I replied, signing the five letters of her name she’d taught me that night under the bridge.
Before I could second-guess if I’d fucked it up or not, her face flushed, and she smiled with approval.
My lips parted, jaw slacked, as I stepped closer to her. I couldn’t help but shake my head in awe.
Hazel stood, beginning to sign, then paused and started again, her eyes bouncing around my face. It was as if she were trailing off from one statement to the next.
I looked at her hands, then back to her face, understanding without fully understanding what she was trying to tell me.
From the bewilderment and joy in her expression, I had enough context to know—or at least, I hoped I was correct in assuming that we both never thought we’d be standing in front of one another again.
She was as beautiful as I remembered, if not more.
This cozy-looking purple cardigan thing covered her arms and hung off one shoulder while the lacy white sundress beneath it stopped right above her knees, showing off her tan legs.
Her hair was in a high ponytail, allowing me to see every soft edge of her face.
No blinding stage lights, messy helmet hair, or a rainy night sky blocked a single trace of her beauty. I could just see her. All of her.
Images of Hazel from the night we had met flashed through my thoughts, even my dreams, while I was going on about my life the last few weeks, but they paled in comparison to her here, now.
“Wow.” I hated that it was the only thing I’d thought to say. But what I said next was even worse. “What are you doing here?”
She laughed, holding her hands out with an innocent shrug.
“Right. No, of course. You work here,” I stated, pinching my nose with embarrassment. “I just mean … I don’t know. How did this”—I gestured between the two of us—“happen? How am I seeing you right now?”
When her eyes lifted from my mouth, she turned and grabbed her tablet from her table. The brief motion sent her sweet perfume up to me, and I hummed, breathing her in.
Her fingers moved across the screen with impressive speed as she typed, and then she gave me an adorable smirk when she flipped it around for me to read.
Well, I was told you were looking to get a tattoo. This is a tattoo shop, so I think you’ve found the right place.
I stepped closer, grinning at her smart-ass remark as I towered over her. Fuck, the way she looked up at me from beneath those lashes, her green eyes sparkling, had my mind spinning with longing.
“Cute and smart, huh? Too bad you’re not funny.” I dragged my bottom lip through my teeth, raising a playful brow at her, but my smile was too big to contain.
She scrunched her nose and giggled, bumping her shoulder into me. It was the first contact I’d had with her since she’d climbed off the back of my bike, and my skin ignited.
Brian made a noise beside us that sounded entertained and annoyed at the same time. I craned my head to look at him, Hazel’s gaze following. He dropped the cheesy grin from his face and innocently held his hands up before disappearing to his bench.
Glancing at the clock on the wall behind her, Hazel began typing on her tablet again. I couldn’t help but curse under my breath for still not being able to talk to her in sign language.
First time tattooing a rock star. Kinda nervous.
I read her message and then slowly dragged my eyes back to hers, clicking my tongue.
The way she chewed on her bottom lip made me want to take her slight frame in my hands, press her up against the wall behind her, and claim her mouth with mine, and that thought consumed every corner of my brain at the moment.
Fuck, she was irresistible.
I took a deep, steady breath and poked her nose. “You’re ridiculous.”
She tossed her ponytail with confidence, laughing, and invited me to sit at her bench. I took note she was glancing at the clock again, and I remembered this wasn’t a planned meeting.
“Hey, I don’t mind coming back another time if you’ve got someone waiting for you.”
She waved me off and began typing a new message. To keep her from having to constantly flip her tablet around, I pushed my chair up next to hers to read over her shoulder as she wrote.
I have a three o’clock, but she’s usually a few minutes late for her appointments with me. Nash will come back and let me know when she arrives. We have a few minutes. Besides, aren’t you going on tour any day now?
The corner of my mouth pulled up. “Keeping up with my tour schedule, are you?”
She narrowed her green eyes at me and mouthed, No.
“Admit it—you’re obsessed with me.”
Her fingers went to work the moment I finished speaking.
Typical rock star, thinking everyone is in love with you.
It was fun, getting to see the feistier side of her personality.
The sweetheart in her was warm and radiant and came naturally.
But this side was bold and playful. Confident.
I could tell she wasn’t used to showing it to everyone, which did something to my ego, knowing she was comfortable enough around me to let it shine.
I shrugged. “It’s the dimples, isn’t it?”
She turned her head, hiding her laughter, but I grabbed her chin and led her gaze back to mine.
“I love the way you make them come out.”
Her breath caught.
“My dimples,” I clarified. “I just can’t help but smile around you.”
I noticed her cheeks turning pink, and she typed again.
“Hazel?” Nash called, waving to get her attention.
She looked up from her tablet before finishing her message.
“Your three o’clock is here.”
Nodding, she let out a long breath and deleted whatever she’d first written and began a new one.
I guess she’s on time today. Never would’ve expected that, haha. Do you know what you’re looking to get tattooed? Size? Placement?
Disappointment settled in my chest that I couldn’t read her first response before it was gone, but I didn’t want to hold her up, so I told her about Sweets and showed her the paw print and where I wanted it on my leg.
Amusement filled her expression, brightening her smile as she looked up from my thigh.
“What? You think it’s lame?”
She quickly shook her head and put her hand over her chest.
Not at all! It’s really sweet actually.
I read as she typed.
You’ve had this dog a week, and you already want him permanently on your body?
“He already has my heart; he might as well have a permanent place on me too,” I told her.
Her gaze warmed as she peered up at me, and the breath of her exhale hit my chin. I had leaned in closer to make sure I didn’t miss anything she typed out on her tablet, and our faces were only an inch apart now.
God, what was it about her that made me want to kiss her so damn bad?
Hazel looked down at my lips as if she were thinking the same thing I was. I remembered the way our lips had collided like two waves, crashing into one another until we became one.
“Can I see you again?” The question fell past my lips before I could think.
She flitted her gaze from one eye to the other, searching for something in my stare.
“Maybe dinner? Coffee?” I quickly clarified, just in case. “You know, so we don’t have to leave it up to fate next time.”
A spark of excitement moved through her features, and then she closed her eyes, breaking the connection between us.
When she opened them again, I was farther away, only a few inches, but enough to grant her some clarity to decide.
I had gotten a chance to see her again, and I wanted to be cautious so it wouldn’t be the last.
My heart raced the longer she hovered her fingers over the keyboard. I willed her to say something. Anything. Put me out of my misery.
But she seemed torn. I could see it in the way her brow shook and her eyes shifted around the space in front of her. They began moving faster, like her thoughts were racing.
Fuck. This was her place of work. Just because I still felt a pull to her didn’t mean those reservations she’d had that night vanished just because we ran into each other again.
Her chin wobbled next, and I couldn’t take it.
I placed my hand on her arm. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry! That was forward. Too forward. You’re working. I’m your potential client. I should’ve waited. Or I should’ve—”
She covered my hand with hers, stopping me, then took a deep breath and typed. It was a longer message. Her fingers moved over the letters quickly, but still, time ticked by, and I waited, wanting to know every thought going on in her head.
When her hands halted, she read through it once and then slowly slid it in front of me, not meeting my gaze.
Please don’t apologize. You’re wonderful, Milton. Too wonderful, I think. I know I’ve sent mixed signals, and you deserve some answers. Another version of me would love to take you up on that offer. Dying to actually. A version of me maybe a year or so from now, when I’m ready and not so broken.
I swiftly looked up at her and shook my head. “You’re not broken. You’re not.”
Hazel exhaled, tilted her lips up softly, and pointed back down at her words.
Reluctantly, I looked away and kept reading.
I’m in the process of getting a divorce.
It’s messy and painful. I’m staying at my friend’s small apartment with her psycho cat, which I’m super allergic to, while trying to find an affordable place of my own, which is proving to be impossible.
It’s just messy. And a lot. I feel like I’m disassociating from myself and life half of the time just to get through it all.
My heart ached with each word I read, every vulnerable detail she’d shared.
Selfishly, kissing you that night was one of the best things that had happened to me in a very long time.
I had an amazing night with you, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about it every day since, wishing things were different.
As much as I’d love to go grab coffee or dinner with you, it wouldn’t be fair.
To you or to my healing. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Truly.
I swallowed back the lump forming in my throat.
She hadn’t had to tell me all that. She could’ve given me a plain no, thanks, and I would’ve listened. It might’ve haunted me for a little while, admittedly, wondering what I’d done wrong to scare her off, but I would’ve let her be. I would have walked away without questioning her why.
But this? Her unguarded thoughts. Her honesty. Fuck the fact that she had been willing to be sassy with me earlier. Hazel had just let her heart bleed in front of me and then apologized for needing time to mend her wounds.
The pull I’d felt when I saw her onstage, when I kissed her under the bridge, and when I walked in here earlier paled in comparison to how it felt now, knowing what I know.
Whether she’d meant to or not, I was involved now. In her healing. In finding a solution to her troubles.
Thoughts swirled in my head as I tried to think of things that had helped me feel better or get my head out of a cloudy, dark space.
The last thing I could remember doing that was Sweets.
I hadn’t had one bad day since I’d picked him up from the shelter and brought him home.
The thought of leaving him—my little lump of wiggly joy—was going to hurt next week.
That was when it hit me.
“You should come house-sit for me while I’m away on tour!” I blurted out.
She froze and tilted her head with an expression that read, What the fuck did he just say?
“Well, it’d be more of a dog-watching job, but also to make sure the house is, ya know, good, I guess?
” I was making this up as I went, convinced this was the best decision ever.
“Sweets is great though! You’d love him!
I need someone who will feed and walk him, give him attention, and care for him during the six weeks I’m in Europe. ”
Don’t you have people for that?
“I just got him, so, no, not yet.” I laughed. “That’s where you come in! You’re not allergic to dogs, are you?”
Hazel shook her head slowly, still dumbfounded.
Nash walked into the space again, glancing back at the two of us before returning up front. Hazel and I glanced at the clock at the same time, knowing our time was up.
“Can I see your phone?”
She watched me with hesitant eyes for a moment before she grabbed it and handed it to me.
I entered my phone number into her Contacts and quickly returned it to her. “Think about it, okay? It would be just you and him. My house would be your house. The food, the pool, the car, your own bedroom …”
Her eyes lit up at the last part.
“All I ask is that you hug and squeeze and love on my boy as much as you can so he doesn’t notice I’m gone.”
The thought of her and Sweets cuddled up on the couch together made me grin. It grew even wider when I imagined myself in the picture too. But that wasn’t what she needed right now. What she needed was a haven and time.
And I could give her both.