Chapter Twelve
Harper woke up with a start. She’d dreamed of being held down and staring up at six faceless men looming over her. Her heart was beating hard, and she had a sheen of sweat on her brow. It was still dark in the room, and for a second, she was disoriented. Where was she? What time was it?
A split second later she remembered. All of it. And understood why she’d woken up sweating.
Then she heard something she’d never heard before . . .
Linc.
More specifically, Linc snoring.
She was still lying next to him, except this time she was on her back and he was the one snuggled up to her.
His arm was heavy over her breasts, and one of his legs was thrown over her own.
His head was buried in the crook of her neck, and his hot breath against her was part of the reason she was so warm.
That, and his body heat was intense. And they still had the comforter on top of them as well.
But Harper didn’t care. Not one little bit. She could lie there until she was a pile of sweat with eyes and still be completely happy. Linc was sleeping. Snoring quietly. Completely out and relaxed in her arms.
She had no doubt it was because he’d purged all the hateful things he’d been thinking about himself earlier.
And he was exhausted from days and weeks of not sleeping enough.
But she couldn’t help but be proud of the fact that maybe, just maybe, she had something to do with it as well.
He’d said that he’d slept that one night when they’d fallen asleep in his chair, and she’d like to think that being next to her brought him a form of comfort.
Most women would be offended that their boyfriends considered them some kind of sleep aid, but not Harper. Not after hearing what he’d been through. How bad his insomnia really was.
She lay there with a huge grin on her face, and risked bringing the hand that wasn’t pinned to her side to the arm thrown over her chest. She gently stroked him, loving that he could relax his mind enough to sleep.
How long she lay there, grinning, forgetting all about her own nightmare, she had no idea. But eventually she dozed off again.
When she woke a second time, the room had lightened. And the first thing she saw was Linc up on one elbow, hovering, staring down at her. She was still on her back next to him, and his leg was no longer pinning her down, although his arm was resting along her sternum.
When he saw she was awake, he smiled.
“Morning.”
“Hi,” Harper said, suddenly feeling shy. They’d opened up last night. Been vulnerable with each other in ways they hadn’t been with anyone else before. She felt as if this morning was a new start for both of them, but she wasn’t sure how he felt.
“I slept,” he whispered, his tone full of awe. “I mean, like real sleep. For hours. I knew it was because of you.”
Harper chuckled. “I think it’s more that you reached the end of your rope. Your body finally shut down.”
“Nope. It was you.”
She rolled her eyes, blushing. “Whatever. I’m just glad you finally got some sleep. You look much better this morning. I mean, you always look good, but you look rested now. You don’t have those dark bags under your eyes.”
It was his turn to laugh. “Yeah, I was kind of turning into a zombie there.”
“I think your brain was glad that you got some of that self-recrimination off your shoulders.”
“Maybe. But I still think it was you. You’re an amazing pillow.”
Harper laughed again. When had she started out a day with so much laughter? Never. That’s when. “Maybe I can market myself that way. Make a body pillow that looks like me and make millions of dollars.”
“Nope, I’m keeping you all to myself. I’m selfish that way.”
Harper warmed from the inside out. She wouldn’t mind being kept by Lincoln Young. It definitely wouldn’t be a hardship. “What do you want to do today?”
“You.”
She blinked. Had she heard him right?
His arm moved then, his hand slowly inching down until he was palming her breast. She still had on the T-shirt she’d brought to sleep in, but it had hiked up considerably, leaving her covered by nothing but her underwear from about her belly button on down.
And suddenly it still felt as if she was wearing way too many clothes. She wanted this man’s hands on her.
But she also didn’t want him to make love to her out of some warped sense of gratitude. She wanted him to want her because she was Harper Bates. Because he couldn’t wait another moment to get inside her.
Because that’s how she felt about him.
She reached up and grabbed his wrist. He immediately stilled.
“Don’t. Not if all you’re feeling for me is gratitude. You didn’t sleep because of me, Linc. Not really. It was just being able to unload all the things you’ve been holding inside for too long. I gave you permission to forgive yourself, and you did. That’s why you were finally able to sleep.”
“You’re right. You said some things that made me think after you fell asleep in my arms. I’ve been punishing myself for something I literally had no control over. And I hate not having control of anything.”
“Not a surprise,” Harper muttered.
Linc grinned, but he went on. “Me wanting you has nothing to do with last night. Nothing to do with whether or not I sleep. And fuck all to do with gratitude. It has to do with the fact that I’ve lusted after you for weeks.
Because I admire the hell out of you. Because you’re an amazing mom, hard worker, and you’ve won over my family without even trying.
And because you have a spine of steel. Life has done its best to knock you down over and over, and yet you refuse to yield.
To bend. You have no idea how fucking rare that is.
“I want you because you smell good. Because your body is incredible. Because I can’t wait to see your red hair strewn across my pillow as I take you. Because thinking about you masturbating in the shower gets me harder than I’ve ever been. I want you because you’re you, Harper.”
“Oh. Okay then, carry on,” she said, letting go of his wrist with a small smile.
He chuckled. “If at any time you want to stop, all you have to do is say the word. Consent is important to me, Harp. Especially after knowing what you’ve been through.
Nothing could hurt me more than you going through with something you aren’t sure you want, simply because you don’t want to hurt my feelings or because you think we’ve gone too far to stop. ”
His words meant the world to her. But he was delusional if he thought she didn’t want him.
“I want you just as much, Linc. I think I’ve always wanted you .
. . yes, even back when I was a royal bitch.
There was something about you that drew me in, but I was too young to understand it then, and even if I had, too cowardly to stand up to my friends and do anything about it.
I knew you were going to do great things, and I think I was jealous.
“Now, watching you with Kash, the most important person in my life, makes me want you even more.” Then she grinned cheekily. “And of course, you’re hot, Linc. You’re what girls call a silver fox.”
“I’m not that old!” he protested with a chuckle.
“I don’t know, I see some gray hairs coming in,” she teased.
Linc growled and covered her completely.
She giggled, loving the feel of him over her.
Then he froze. “Is this okay?” he asked.
Knowing what he was referring to, Harper was quick to reassure him. “I don’t remember any of it. Just waking up in the alley.”
“Still . . .”
“It’s okay. More than okay. I love the feeling of you on top of me. In the middle of the night, when I woke up from my own nightmare, you were all snuggled up next to me . . . it felt amazing.”
“Wait, you had a nightmare? Are you all right?”
“Focus, Linc. You. Me. Bed. Sex.”
“I’m serious . . . was it about . . .”
Knowing he wasn’t going to let it go, and secretly loving that about him, she nodded. “Yeah, but the second I realized where I was and who was snoring in my ear, I forgot all about it. Fell back asleep within minutes.”
He eyed her for a long moment, as if trying to decide if she was telling the truth. Finally, he nodded. “Okay.”
“We were discussing what we wanted to do today,” Harper reminded him, wanting to get back to him touching her.
“That’s right, we were,” he said, moving a hand to her waist and slipping it under her T-shirt. Harper held her breath as he eased that hand up her body, barely making contact with her skin. “First, we can see what our hosts have made us for breakfast.”
His fingers brushed against the underside of her breast.
“Then we can take a walk. It’s cold, but the exercise will be good for us.”
He was driving her crazy with his light touches. Tickling but not touching her nipple, which had gotten hard the second he got close with his fingers.
“Maybe some more shopping. There’s that store you wanted to go to with the yard-spinny things.”
“Linc,” Harper whined, as he continued to tease her with his words and hand.
“It’s too bad the botanical gardens are closed for the season. We should’ve gone in December, when they had all the lights up.”
“I swear if you don’t touch me right now, I’ll—”
“I am touching you,” he interrupted, mock innocently.
She had no idea he was such a tease. Harper arched into his touch.
“Lunch, maybe come back here and relax. Watch something on TV. Read a book. Then I want to take you out to dinner again. Find a nice restaurant where we can have some wine, enjoy each other’s company, take a couple hours to eat.”
Finally, finally, he circled her nipple, and Harper sighed with pleasure.
“Or maybe we’ll stay in all day. Right here in bed. A place I used to hate. Resent because I was never able to sleep. But with you in here with me, I think I’ll work off enough energy to be sleepy again tonight.”
“More, Linc. I need more.”
His teasing smile died. “You’ll get all of me, Harper. I hope you’re ready.”
“I’m ready,” she said firmly. “I need you. Stop messing around and touch me already.”
In response, he curled his hand around her breast and pinched her nipple—hard.