Chapter Fourteen #2
Karma. This was karma doing her thing. She’d been a horrible person to Linc and others when she was an adolescent, and her son was paying the price. Harper wasn’t sure what to do or say, how to make this better for him.
“I don’t know, baby. Maybe because their home life isn’t good. Maybe he doesn’t get enough attention, or he’s learned that negative attention is better than no attention at all. Or maybe he’s doing it to fit in with his friends.” She sighed heavily, her stomach in knots. “I have a confession.”
When her son looked at her with curiosity, Harper almost changed her mind about sharing her secret with her son. Almost. “I was a bully. When I was a kid.”
“What?”
“I was awful,” she whispered, feeling the shame all over again. “Especially to Linc. I called him names and made his life miserable. I felt horrible about it. Then and now.”
“Why?”
She sighed. “I think mostly, like I said just now, because I wanted to fit in. Because my friends were all doing it . . . and it was kind of like a mob mentality thing. Once I started, I wasn’t sure how to stop.
I didn’t feel as if I could speak up and tell them it wasn’t right, because then I’d lose all my friends, and they’d probably turn on me.
It was stupid and selfish, and I’m not proud of myself. ”
Kash was silent for a while, then he said, “But Linc forgave you, because you guys are dating.”
“Yes, thankfully.”
To her relief, Kash reached out and squeezed her arm. “I’m sorry you felt that way when you were young. I’m sorry you didn’t have real friends.”
Figured her kid would have empathy for her, even when she admitted to being a mean girl. “I love you, Kash. And I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with someone like me when I was your age.”
“You and Linc turned out all right. Gives me hope that I will too,” he said a little cheekily.
Harper chuckled. Then sobered. “Is there anything I can do to help you? Maybe we can find a private school for you to go to? Or homeschool?”
Kash scoffed. “As if you can afford private school. And I don’t want to have to wear a uniform.
I like my classes and most of my teachers.
And I love the robotics club. I wasn’t sure I would.
I mean, astronomy is my jam, but it’s still pretty cool.
Putting together robots is fun. And, I love you, Mom, but . . . homeschool? Really?”
Harper giggled. “Right. I’m not smart enough to teach you anything.”
“I didn’t mean that,” he said quickly. “But we already spend most of our time outside of school and your work together. Do we really need to spend every moment of every day together?”
Harper smiled over at her son. “I don’t mind being with you, Kash. But you’re probably right.”
“Besides, all I’d do is stare at a computer all day if I was homeschooled.
My brain would rot and I’d lose all my social skills .
. . not that I have all that many, but the last thing you’d want is to find me glued to my chair with cobwebs all over me one day, when you peeked into my room to make sure I was still alive. ”
Harper threw her head back and laughed. Kash was funny.
He hadn’t always been that way; one more thing she could credit to Linc and his family.
They were constantly teasing each other and laughing, making jokes.
Kash had obviously been paying attention and soaking it all in.
She liked that he could make fun of himself in a lighthearted manner.
“Right, so, private school and home school are out. What do we do about this Donny situation?”
“We don’t do anything,” Kash said, wise beyond his years. “He’s in the eleventh grade. He’ll be graduating—hopefully—in a year and a half. By the time I’m in the ninth grade, he’ll be gone. I can deal with his stupid taunts at lunch for that long.”
“Does he have friends who think what he’s doing is funny?
” Harper asked. She thought back to her group in high school.
What one of them did, the rest went along with.
They were truly a mean-girl pack. She doubted Donny was acting alone.
He probably had a bunch of boys being assholes right along with him.
“Yeah. But ever since he and Ginger broke up, he hasn’t been quite as bad.
He’s mad at her for ending things. He’s kind of turned on her, one day being mean and the next being sickeningly sweet, trying to get her back.
If she’s smart, she’ll stay away from him.
His friends kind of do whatever he tells them to, so right now they’re talking him up to her friends.
I think he’s kinda trying to get her back through them. ”
“You see a lot, don’t you?” Harper asked, kind of astonished at how in tune Kash was to the situation with his bullies.
“Have to. Don’t want to end up getting a swirly during lunch.”
“People don’t still do that, do they? I mean, it’s gross.”
“It is gross. And my friends and I have all heard the rumors . . . I don’t want to find out what it’s like getting my head put in a toilet while it’s flushed, thank you very much. So I have to stay on my toes. Stay alert. Be two steps ahead of Donny and his buddies.”
Once again, Harper was sad that her son was dealing with bullies.
Just because he wasn’t into sports, and enjoyed learning and school, and had bright-red hair, didn’t mean he was less than anyone else.
Donny and his friends had no right to treat him like shit because he wasn’t like them .
. . but then again, hadn’t she done the same thing?
“All right, but if there’s anything I can do, let me know. Pack a lunch for you so you don’t have to eat in the cafeteria, go all mama bear on Donny’s parents, speak to the teachers or principal. Promise to let me know.”
Kash gave her a horrified look, and Harper couldn’t help but chuckle.
“No, Mom. I’ve got this. I can outsmart Donny. Stay out of it.”
“Fine, but if you don’t think I can help, you know Linc and his brothers would be happy to step in as well.”
“I know. And trust me, if it comes to it, I’ll use them as weapons in my arsenal if I need to.”
Was this her son? Weapons in his arsenal? Where was he getting this?
“I finished the first robot I got from the subscription you got me for Christmas, did you see?”
Relieved that he was changing the subject, Harper nodded. “It’s cool for sure.”
Kash went on to chatter for ten minutes straight about what it took to build the robot and what it could do. Pleased as she could be that she’d gotten him a gift that he genuinely loved, Harper nodded in all the right places and was content to simply listen to her son talk.
When he finally wound down, she asked about the robotics club again. “You think you can use some of what you learned building that robot in your club?”
Kash shrugged. “Maybe. We have that competition coming up, and we’ve already made our robot for it. But I have some ideas for what we can do next.”
“That’s right, when is the competition again? You okay going? It’s two nights away from home.”
“It’s in two weeks. And why wouldn’t I be okay?
Mr. Simpson is driving one of the school vans, and we’re psyched to see how our robot will do in the competition.
We should at least win a ribbon for construction.
But how it’ll hold up in the arena is a huge question mark.
That’s the hard thing . . . you have to build something cool that will look interesting and do what it’s supposed to do, but won’t get smashed in the first round of fighting. ”
All Harper knew about the robotics club was that the kids built robots they used to fight other homemade robots during a fight-club kind of thing. She’d seen bits and pieces of a show on TV that did the same thing, but she didn’t exactly enjoy watching.
“Well, it’s just over in Portland, so if something happens or if you want to come home, all you have to do is call. Or text. You know Linc and I will come get you in a heartbeat.”
“Mooooom,” Kash complained. “I’m not a baby. I think I can survive two nights without you. Besides, you and Linc will have the house to yourself. You can do anything you want while I’m gone.” He smirked and raised his brows up and down suggestively.
“Kash!” Harper exclaimed, genuinely embarrassed at what her son was suggesting.
He laughed uncontrollably. When he had himself under control, he was still smiling as he said, “Seriously, Mom. It’s gonna be fun.
I’m looking forward to hanging out with my friends and kicking some robot butt.
I’m glad you have Linc now to look out for you.
If we weren’t living with him, I probably wouldn’t have gone on the trip because I wouldn’t have wanted to leave you alone. ”
Her kid was the sweetest. “I love you too, kiddo,” she told him.
He blushed, then looked down at his phone when it dinged. “How much longer?” he asked. “Linc just texted and wanted to know.”
She loved that Linc constantly texted Kash, and that he seemed to enjoy the attention.
“About twenty minutes, according to my phone’s directions,” she told him.
He tapped out a reply to Linc, then smiled at whatever he said in return.
“Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything. For Christmas. For tonight. I can’t wait to look at the stars through their huge telescope, and to use their digital camera afterward to get super-up-close pictures.
But also for taking care of me. For working so hard and moving us to Maine.
For being open enough to date Linc. Just . . . everything.”
This kid. He killed her.
“You’re welcome, baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you happy and safe.”
“I feel the same about you. If you ever disappeared, like Marit, or Britt and Ms. Evelyn did, I wouldn’t stop looking until I found you.”
Harper wasn’t sure where this was coming from, but she nodded solemnly. “Thank you. And you know I’d do the same for you, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“How about we change the subject to something a little more lighthearted than either of us disappearing?” Harper asked.