CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JESSIE
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Liam knows, and I feel dirty every time he looks at me. Not dirty in the same way he used to make me feel—dirty, naughty, and sexy.
This is different.
I feel like a stupid, used, and broken young woman.
Which I probably am.
I feel his questions and judgements in every glance. I don’t have answers for him. I never should have gone into Frank’s office the night we wrapped, in hindsight, given the amount he’d drunk.
I should have screamed louder.
I should have fought.
Instead, I let him scare me into thinking I had no choice. Perhaps he does have the power to destroy my acting career, but is that really important enough that I’d let two men do what they did? Destroy my soul. My pride. My sense of safety.
I played dead while they used my body as if it were a toy they had rights to.
They didn’t.
We need to report this.
The thought of speaking to the authorities makes my stomach curdle. I’d have to revisit and talk about everything that happened. Mom and Dad would end up finding out, and so would Jayden.
I’d have to face Frank Bonito in court if they had enough to charge him while also facing public criticism.
I don’t even know who the other man is.
I don’t want to know.
Some women are brave and fight. I just wanted to hide—behind Liam.
Perhaps I’m a coward, or maybe I have a right to be scared. Is it really my responsibility to speak up and go through more than I already have?
Or is it those men’s responsibility to fix themselves? Why should victims have to suffer further?
Fucking assholes.
For the rest of the weekend, Liam says nothing, and I’m grateful that he’s given me the space to wrap my head around how to move forward. The truth is, I just want to bury my head in the sand and focus on this thing between us.
“I’m sorry. Seeing Noah on top of you, kissing you...I wanted to fucking kill him,” Liam said.
Not gonna lie, now that he’s calmed down, I’m secretly happy he was jealous.
“I hope you don’t get into trouble on Monday.”
Liam snorted and shook his head, like the idea was preposterous, then sipped his coffee. After a sleep-in on Saturday, we’d walked down to a cafe for brunch.
Neither of us had much of an appetite.
After, we went to the beach and lay in the sun. Liam jumped up, dusted off the sand, and pulled me to my feet.
“Come on.” Taking my hand, he led me down to the water where we splashed around like kids.
Then something shifted, and Liam pulled me against his ripped, wet chest and kissed me like...well, like I was the woman he loved.
Deep, slow, purposeful.
Taking my breath away.
Instead of heading home, we got a pizza and, my hair dripping down my back, we sat on the beach eating as the sun set.
It was peaceful.
And very romantic.
Sunday, I woke up, and we were on the sofa. Liam had tucked me into his arms the night before, and we’d both dozed off. I realized we hadn’t been intimate since the night I was triggered. Yet I felt closer to him than ever.
His smile when he opened his eyes was drop dead gorgeous. I was falling more and more for this man. Especially when he surprised me with a visit to the zoo later that morning.
Walking around hand in hand, we enjoyed a long day looking at the animals, some of which had us in stitches.
On our way out, Liam bought me a stuffed, fluffy elephant. I made a joke about it having a very nice trunk, which earned me a kiss. But he didn’t follow it up with his own dirty comment, and that was when I started to get suspicious.
Liam was treating me with kid gloves.
I appreciated that he cared but we only had a few days until Jayden came home. Where did that leave us? Surely we needed to discuss what this was between us, how we wanted to move forward, and what we were going to tell Jay.
Didn’t we?
While lying in bed last night, my finger tracing his tattoos, I tried to broach the subject. “I’m meeting Savannah for lunch tomorrow.”
“Uh, huh.”
“She might have a connection for an acting role.”
Liam’s eyes dropped to mine, and he didn’t look thrilled. “That a good idea?”
“Well, the girls are trying out for roles on the same show, so it could work out.”
I felt him stiffen. “Is that what you want?”
I loved acting, but after what happened back in Fort Worth, I was feeling fragile. It was only the Liam-bubble I felt safe in. It’s like he knows that and understands going back to work feels a little scary.
However, he hasn’t invited me to stay or said he wants me to move in with him as his girlfriend, and my funds are drying up.
It’s that or go back to Texas and...no fucking way. I wasn’t going home.
“Yes. I’m an actress, Lim. I don’t want to be a waitress, and Savannah has set this up. I’m very lucky.” I sighed, throwing my arm up behind me on the pillow. “I need somewhere to stay. I can’t sleep on your sofa when Jay gets home.”
Silence.
I turned my head to find Liam running a hand through his hair, his biceps bulging.
I waited a moment longer as a cold, sobering feeling rushed over me.
Have I misread this entire thing?
This morning, while I was still half asleep, his lips gently pressed to mine. “I’m off to work. Be good, beautiful.”
When the front door closed and I heard the Jeep fire up, I kicked back the covers and let out a loud sigh.
What does he want?
At least he hasn’t pushed me to go back to Texas, but there’s a chance he’s waiting for Jayden to return to do it.
I needed to confront him about everything and have a real conversation. In the meantime, I had to get ready for lunch with Savannah.
I jumped in the shower and carefully selected my outfit as I shot a text message to Naomi telling her what was happening.
Omg that’s amazing. She could really open doors for you.
I know, right? When I buy my first mansion, you will have to visit.
Visit? I’m moving in.
Chuckling, I carefully applied natural-looking makeup and curled my long blonde hair. Then I glanced back at my outfit. I’d selected a white blazer with black cuffs and a college style emblem, a short miniskirt, and a black ACDC band T-shirt. I’d add my boots.
Being seen with Savannah was one thing. I needed to look like someone a producer, actor, or even casting agent would want in their next movie or show.
Taking my time to dress, I add a bunch of necklaces and bracelets, then pull my cross-body handbag over my head.
Nice.
It looks stylish and relaxed, but with enough sass to suit my personality.
Checking the bus timetable again, I quickly have breakfast and clean up, then head out of the house. It’s a short walk to the bus stop, and fortunately I only have to wait twelve minutes until it arrives.
Sitting in the backseat, I enjoy taking in the views of Hollywood again. The truth is, when I’m in the car with Liam, my attention is on him.
On his muscular thighs.
His roped forearms.
His dark hair, which I love running my fingers through. The way his sunglasses make him look a thousand times hotter. If that’s even possible. The scent of his aftershave, which is intoxicating, and I’m sure called something like Panty-Dropping-Juice.
I jump off at my stop and spend about forty minutes walking around West Hollywood, taking in the sights and wandering into a few stores.
Then, at midday, I walk into Catch LA and give Savannah’s name.
“This way, please,” the ma?tre d’ says.
Wow, the rooftop restaurant is amazing. In the minute or so it takes to walk to her table, I spot three of the hottest stars on the planet.
Holy heck.
“Jessie,” Savannah coos and reaches out a hand. “Sit, sit. I am a week from my C-section, and it feels like I’m too full of baby to stand.”
“Stay there.” Giggling, I lean down and kiss her cheek, then slide into a chair.
“I hope you love seafood.”
“I love it. Thank you for doing this, and um, I’m sorry about Ryder’s birthday.”
I figure it's better to just get the obvious out of the way. Everyone saw Liam pushing Noah around.
Sipping her water, Savannah laughs. “Oh, trust me, I’m used to it with those guys. If one of them isn’t losing their minds over a woman, then it’s not Friday night.”
I blink and bite the inside of my mouth.
I can’t say anything.
She studies me, tilting her head as she grins. “Scarlett isn’t the only one who sees everything, you know.”
Nope, not saying anything.
I sip my water.
“You can trust me.” Savannah watches me.
Whether it’s because she’s about to be a mother or I need someone to talk to, I don’t know, but the words pour out of my mouth.
Like a rainstorm.
“I’ve been in love with Liam forever. He doesn’t feel the same way.
We’re not even really sleeping together.
I mean we are, but not...you know...completely.
..sex...obviously...and if Jayden found out I don’t know what would happen.
We only have a few days left...and I know Liam doesn’t want me to stay but the way he holds my hand and looks at me.
..” I take a breath and see the small smile on her lips.
“Well, sometimes I think he wants that, too, but he doesn’t say anything, and so I have no clue. It’s terrible. And wonderful.”
Christ.
I’ve said too much. She’s going to tell her husband; then Ryder will tell Liam.
Oh god.
“First,” she says calmly. “That man is in love with you. Liam is one of the most level-headed of all of them. When he saw Noah kiss you, he almost exploded. I watched him storm up the beach.”
Oh.
“So did Scarlett, and fortunately for me, I put my money on you and Liam being together.”
“There’s a bet?”
“God, yes. That woman doesn’t miss an opportunity.” Savannah laughs, throwing her head back.
She’s so beautiful that the entire restaurant glances over and smiles.
“Yeah.” I laugh awkwardly, taking another sip of my water.
The server arrives, and we order.
“So, let’s put lovely Liam aside for the moment. Let me tell you about this show. It’s a sitcom being filmed here in LA. Five episodes, one season. The usual. It’s about a group of three friends just out of college finding their feet in new careers, love, and all that jazz.”
I like it so far.
She names two well-known leading stars, which tells me it’s going to be successful. I’m excited.
“They’re looking to fill the role of a side character who works in the office. You know the one, says something funny each episode, lands the line that highlights the stakes or tension.”
I nod.
“I know it’s not a big part, but these roles can get you noticed by the right people,”
A huge celebrity walks past and spots Savannah. They say a quick hello and kiss each other’s cheeks a thousand times.
“Sorry. I can’t get away from this sort of thing anymore.” Her eyes flicker to the BHS security guy sitting at a table across from us.
I didn’t notice him before.
Oh no! I hope he didn’t hear me talk about Liam.
My cheeks begin to burn.
“Want me to see if I can get you an audition?” she asks.
My face breaks into a smile. “Yes, please.”
“Good, because I already have. It’s today at two o’clock.” She laughs as my mouth gapes. “I can drop you off after lunch.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Trust me, just don’t overthink this. Go and do your best, then leave it up to fate.”
Butterflies blast into my tummy as our meals arrive, and I know right there and then I’ll barely be eating. Which is a shame as the prawns look divine.
I’ll never be able to afford to eat here again.
Well, until I’m famous.
“I’m not sure if I want to kiss you or kill you.” I laugh, prodding at my prawns. “Mostly kiss you.”
Savannah chuckles.
I might not have her star appeal, but if I can make a career as a working actor in this town, I’ll be happy. Perhaps one day buy my own house by the beach and meet a man who isn’t trying to hide how he feels about me.
I heard what Savannah said, but Liam had all weekend to bring up our relationship. That we never messed around should have been the hint I needed.
He’s sneaky and I’m so blindly in love with him. After figuring out that I have been hurt, he’s not going to touch me again. I’m almost certain now he’s waiting for Jayden to come home and tag team me as the two of them do.
Then force me to go home.
Is that what you want?
Yes, I want to stay in LA and pursue my career. I can’t go back to Texas, where Frank is. No, damn way.
“Someone gave me a chance, and I’m happy to do the same for you.” She smiles. “Now eat up and I’ll give you some auditioning tips.”
For the next hour, we flip from talking about the industry, the BHS guys, and discussing the role. I feel like we’re becoming friends.
After, we head out to her waiting car and head towards the studio.
“I’ll drop you outside and all you need to do is give your name.”
Thanking her, I push down my nerves, not wanting to mess up this enormous opportunity. I’ve always done well during auditions, and while I’ve only had an hour to prepare, I’m feeling reasonably confident.
That is, until I head into the building.
And walk straight into Frank Bonito.
––––––––
“WELL, WELL, WELL. I wondered where you’d run off to,” he laughs as he grabs my arms to steady me.
The feel of his touch sends a dark shudder through me. I step away, my heart pounding.
I start to panic. “I have to go.”
Frank smirks, glancing around then runs his eyes over my body.
Oh god, oh god, oh god.
I see the moment he spots the audition sign.
“Ah, looking for a new role, are you?” He leans into my hair and I almost barf. “If you want some work, meet me at my hotel later and I can sort you out.”
“No!” I shout, and his eyes darken.
I start to back away, but he crowds me, taking my wrist. “What did you say?”
“I have work. I don’t need...let me go. Please.”
“Listen here,” Frank grinds out under his foul-smelling breath, “I’ve told you what you have to lose. I know everyone who is anyone in this town. Do you understand?”
I nod.
“Beverly Hills. Room 4653. Meet me in an hour.”
I nod again.
“Good girl.” His hand brushes against my breast as a snarl crosses his face. “Make sure you’re wet when you get there.”
My stomach curdles.
When he turns and walks out the door, my body starts shaking, and I almost vomit right then on the spot. I see the restroom sign and run.
Banging the door closed behind me, I make it to the toilet before losing my entire lunch.