23. Nick
Chapter twenty-three
Nick
M y mind has been in a terrifying freefall since I saw Willa earlier today.
I've spent the intervening hours, flipflopping through conflicting emotions. One minute my spirits are buoyed, and I feel a sense of hope. It's insane to contemplate a future with Willa, but what if we can do it?
What if she chooses me? Despite the madness of my life, what if she chooses to give our romance a second chance?
As a family, my parents altered royal protocols to accommodate Ellie's anxiety.
Can we not do the same for Willa? The monarchy isn't a one-size-fits-all kind of family business any longer, and with the modernization of the institution, things are always fluctuating.
With Alex at the helm, I feel like there could be a way forward for Willa and me.
Then, I remember the look of horror that crossed Willa's face when she saw me. Running into me unplanned wasn’t a serendipitous event to her.
Hell, she almost had a panic attack.
There's no way she'd ever entertain rekindling things between us .
I relive the awkwardness of seeing her again, how painful it was to standby, watching Alex swoop in and shamelessly flirt with Willa.
I would have stopped him, but she seemed to be enjoying herself.
I'm surprised I didn't break a tooth after I spent ten minutes with my jaw clenched, watching my brother chat it up with Willa. Making her smile and laugh.
The bloody wanker.
Right, well, that's not happening again.
I need to confess to Alex that I'm more than halfway in love with the woman with whom he was flirting.
If I have a chance with Willa, I need Alex's support. Not only as my brother and best mate, but as my king. I need his assistance in convincing Mother to leave my dating life alone.
Flying through the hallways and corridors, I dodge everyone and march up the stairs to Alex's office. I knock once on the door and then push inside.
He's seated at his desk, speaking on the phone. When he sees me enter, Alex quirks an eyebrow, silently questioning the reason behind my impromptu visit, and motions for me to sit while he finishes his call.
Apprehensive, my knee bounces on the carpet. For an introvert, he's a chatty prat today.
To keep my hands busy, I take a book off his desk and flip through it idly.
When I recognize my father’s heavy-handed script, I begin to read more closely.
It appears to be a personal diary, a journal of his days.
The numbers scrawled at the top of the page indicate this particular entry is from nearly nine years ago.
With a furrowed brow, I spy several other identical diaries laying on Alex’s desk.
I had no idea that Father kept a diary. By the looks of it, he wrote often.
It’s not surprising, though it is hurtful, to realize how much I didn’t know about my father.
Finally, Alex wishes his counterpart goodbye. Before his desktop phone receiver hits the base, I toss down Father’s journal and begin speaking.
"I need to tell you something. While I was abroad, I met a woman.
I mentioned her to you once, but I never provided any details," I start.
I lean forward, perching my elbows atop my knees.
When I look up to meet my brother's eyes, I notice he's wearing an odd grin.
I'm not sure what that's about, but I continue, undeterred.
"I'm sorry if this is upsetting to you, especially after your breakup with Annika, but the woman who I developed feelings for is—"
"Willa Radford," supplies Alex, his grin now stretching to the far corners of his face.
I jolt upright. "Bloody hell! How did you know that?"
"I didn't. Not until today, anyway. But when I saw how captivated you were with her and how awkwardly the two of you danced around one another, I had an inkling.
Which was only confirmed when I flirted with her.
" Alex's leather chair squeaks softly as he reclines, spinning a pen between his fingers, looking quite proud of himself. "You hated watching me entertain her."
"So, you flirted with Willa to take the piss out of me?"
With a shrug, Alex inclines his head. "My rationale was two-fold.
One, if I was correct in my assumption, my flirting would push you to admit your feelings.
And two, if I was wrong, I'd get to flirt with Willa Radford.
" Tossing his pen onto the desk, he spreads his hands palm up, looking pleased. "Win-win in my book. Now, fill me in."
I stew for a few moments before telling Alex the highlights of my short-lived, but intense, romance with Willa .
"I'm assuming you're telling me this because you want to date Willa."
I bob my head in assent.
"But what about the woman you dated at uni? Didn't you two come to an agreement?"
Waving my hand through the air, I wash away his comment about Carisa.
She's unimportant as compared to Willa. "Carisa wasn't excited at the prospect, so she'll be thrilled to get out of our deal.
However, Mother will be a problem. She's terrified that Carisa has a skeleton in her closet.
Mother's already pressuring me to pick another woman to be my girlfriend…
but she won't be pleased when I inform her that Willa will be Carisa's replacement. "
"True," my older brother agrees.
"Willa is important to me." I sit back in my chair and wipe my hands on my thighs. "How do I convince Mother to accept Willa as my girlfriend? Willa isn't from a noble family. She's American. She’s famous."
"I sense a but coming."
"But…I've fallen hard for her. Willa may not meet Mother's exacting standards, but she more than meets mine. Willa is amazing. She's successful and smart and personable and warm."
"Don't forget beautiful," interjects Alex with a smirk.
"Sod off. You can't talk about my girl like that."
"Your girl? I did have a crush on her first. I basically called dibs."
"You can't call dibs because you had a poster of her in your dormitory."
Changing the subject, Alex asks, "So, you've talked to Willa and she's amenable to dating you again?" One doesn't have to be a genius to hear the skepticism in my brother' s voice.
My breath hitches before I finally exhale loudly. "I haven't exactly spoken to her about this yet."
"Putting the cart before the horse." Alex barks out a laugh. "Ah, this sounds like a foolproof plan, little brother."
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you."
"I know why you left America, but have you explained the situation to Willa?"
"I tried to contact her many times over the past month, but she blocked me.
I didn't realize how much she meant to me until we separated.
I can't stop thinking about her. But I don’t have much time to convince Willa to give me a second chance because she'll be leaving the country soon, and I have Queen Bee harassing me about finding a girlfriend. "
"First off, forget about Mother for the time being and focus on winning Willa over."
"Okay." I can get behind any plan that focuses on winning Willa back—especially one that involves forgetting about my mother.
Alex purses his lips, deep in thought. "We need to take advantage of Willa's presence in Belgrovinia. You're tenacious and annoyingly persistent. I have no doubt that you'll wear her down and convince her to give you another chance."
"Thanks. I think."
Steepling his hands, Alex rests them under his chin. "We need to come up with a plan that provides an opportunity for you and Willa to spend time with one another privately, without arousing suspicion from Mother."
"Any ideas?"
"Actually, yes. The movie people are staying in Belgrovinia for a week. Why not invite them to stay at one of our other royal residences for the next few days? Offer them exclusive behind-the-scenes access to royal life. Maybe Bainbridge Castle?"
"How will banishing Willa to Bainbridge help me?" I grouse.
"Because I'll appoint you to accompany them as their official liaison from the Crown."
I smile. "Forcing Willa to spend time with me."
Alex points at me. "Exactly."
"And we'll be staying at a castle far away from Mother," I surmise with another smile. "That's brills, Alex!"
Taking out my phone, I tap out a quick text message to Major Lionel, one of the Crown's chamberlain officers, informing him of Alex's idea.
"Honestly, it will work out well for everyone. You get time with Willa. And what better way to create goodwill and foster business relationships with the movie studios?"
"You really are an evil genius."
With a level of humility that I do not possess, Alex shrugs off my compliment. "I simply want my little brother to find happiness. If you want to be with Willa, you have to fight for her, and I'll help you in any way possible."
"Thanks." I hesitate before asking my next question, but my curiosity wins out. "If you believe that, why didn't you fight for Annika?"
Blowing out a heavy breath, Alex pushes his chair back, stretching out his legs. "I saw how unhappy she'd become, and I didn't want to sentence her to a lifetime of suffering in the public eye."
"So, you were being selfless."
And here I am, about to beg Willa to jump from the frying pan into the fire. The Hollywood press has nothing on the feral European tabloids who foam at the mouth for stories involving the royal family.
"No," Alex replies quietly. "Honestly, the truth is…I was relieved. At first, I was grateful that Annika accepted my proposal, but as reality set in…" He trails off, leaving his thought unfinished.
I'm surprised by his admission. "You didn't want to marry Annika? I thought you loved her. You said you missed her."
"I did. I do," he amends. "I miss her, but not in the way you assumed.
We were close friends. We were together for so long, and we made a good team, but I've never felt a passionate, romantic love for her.
" Alex hums in contemplation. "When I marry, I want to both love my wife and be in love with her.
But I didn't feel that for Annika, which leads me to believe that ending our engagement was for the best." Alex tosses me a diabolical grin.
"However, if you ever discuss my broken engagement with Mother, please relay that I am heartbroken. "
My brow furrows. "Why heartbroken?"
"Heartbroken allows me a reprieve before Mother starts setting me up on dates."
With a chuckle, I repeat my earlier words, "Evil genius."
My cell phone chimes, and I glance at the message.
Major Lionel: Arrangements have been made. The Hollywood group accepted King Alexander's offer and will relocate to Bainbridge Castle tomorrow. Is there anything else you need, Your Highness?
Me: I will accompany them and act as their chaperone. Please alert Bainbridge staff and security of the changes to my schedule .
When Alex's private secretary reminds him of a phone conference that starts in a few minutes, I bid Alex adieu with a spring in my step. But then I hear Mother calling my name.
Yep, escaping to Bainbridge for a few days is sounding better and better.
"What is this I hear about inviting the Hollywood people," she queries, her voice filled with disdain, "to Bainbridge Castle?"
Good God, does she have our offices bugged? How the hell does she already know about this?
"Alex and I thought it would be a good way to court the movie studio personnel. I'll attend as the palace liaison."
She sizes me up before nodding once. "Very well. Invite the journalist from that business magazine to attend. Positive press is crucial."
"But the article already is being published tomorrow morning—"
Mother holds up her hand.
When I groan, intent to continue arguing, she cuts me off.
"Don't be peevish, young man. The monarchy has a tenuous connection with the media.
We must do everything in our power to stay in their good graces, especially since negative publicity sells more papers than positive press.
This is a golden opportunity to exhibit goodwill toward the media.
" She pauses with a frown. "After all, Alex is still paying for that stunt you pulled a decade ago. "
Remorse churns in my gut and strengthens my resolve.
Alex never brings it up or holds it over my head, but it's always there.
The pain that lingers just below the surface, like a bruise begging to be poked.
It kills me knowing that one stupid, childish decision I made has had lasting ramifications on Alex's reputation.
Humbled at the reminder, I bow my head, easily submitting to Mother's demand. " Of course."
She eyes me speculatively. "You're finally stepping into the role you were born for, Nicholai. Your father would be proud."
Toward anyone other than my younger sister, Mother has the emotional capacity of a cactus. At best, she's prickly, and at worst, she's a giant pain in one's ass, so her complimentary words pleasantly surprise me.
They also remind me that as much as I want to court Willa, I cannot lose sight of protecting the monarchy. Because protecting the monarchy means protecting Alex and I owe him that.
I just need to figure out a way to accomplish both.