Chapter 10
ten
The smell of cotton candy woke me from a light doze to find a small, warm body curled on my lap. It almost didn’t seem worth the effort of cracking my gummy eyelids until it hit me where I was and what I had been doing.
Emergency clinic.
Sloane.
For a second, I feared she had crawled out of bed to cuddle me, but she wasn’t half as stealthy as Goldie when she put her mind to it. I found wide blue eyes staring up at me with an impish grin on her cherubic face.
“I came to check on Sloane for Liam.” She held up her phone where typo-riddled instructions filled the screen, evidence he was still high on pain meds. “He wants a picture of her as proof of life. He’s willing to send me five extra dollars for one with her eyes open.”
Paying for a stealth picture of her sleeping? That wasn’t creepy at all. Nope. Not one bit.
“How did you get here?” I wiped drool off my mouth with the back of my wrist. “Does Rían know…?”
“He’s the one who brought me.” She smoothed her hands down her shirt, swiping away the insinuation she would lower herself to sneaking out alone. Or, say, into the clinic through a window. “He went to talk to Burdock, so I came here.”
“Have you gotten your picture yet?”
“No.” Somehow her eyes grew even wider, clearer. “I was hoping if she heard your voice, she might wake up for a minute.”
“Ah.” I stifled a yawn. “I see.”
“I’ll give you half the fee if you help me.”
“I’m not going to accept your money.”
“That’s not why I took the job. I have a reputation to uphold, you know?”
“Hmm.” I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “This is to boost your profile?”
“Yes.” She slid off my lap. “I have a long way to go if I want to become the next maguri, and that means I have to prove I can handle any job. No matter how big or how small.”
With sleep clouding my brain, I couldn’t recall if she had ever come outright and told me she wanted the job.
I had assumed with her natural skills, and the training she was receiving, she was being groomed for the spot.
But to hear her determination, I could tell she had named it as one of her many future goals.
Clever as she was, I had no doubt she would achieve them all and then some. “How is Liam?”
“Gran told me not to worry, that he’s fine. I let him stay in my room.”
“That was kind of you.” A pinch in my chest tightened my throat. “Where are you going to sleep?”
“No one is in your room tonight.”
Hint. Hint.
“That’s true.” I wrestled my smile into submission. “Would you like to sleep in there?”
“I guess I could.” She scrunched up her nose. “As a favor.”
“I appreciate it.” I fought down laughter. “Do you want me to try and wake Sloane before you go?”
“Would you?” She twirled in place. “Like I said, it’s not about money, it’s the principle of the thing.”
“I understand.” I crossed to the bed then thumped Sloane between the eyes. “You’ve got a guest.”
“Mmm.” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “Hamburger.”
“Sloane.” I pressed a finger into the red spot. “Open your eyes.”
“Onionsss.”
“Get ready,” I warned Goldie then wedged myself between the head of the bed and the wall. “Put your phone on burst mode. That’ll give you the best chance of catching the shot you need.”
While visions of rare cheeseburgers danced in Sloane’s head, I thumbed back her eyelids as far as they would go. I nodded to Goldie, who held down the button to capture as many shots as fast as her camera could snap, then yanked my hands back.
“Well?” I gave her a moment to check her work. “Are any of them useable?”
“How about this one?” She flashed me a shot of Sloane with one lid open to the whites of her eyes while the other eyelid sagged through her pupil. “He didn’t specify she had to be awake.” She mashed her lips together. “And both her eyes are open.”
“I call this a success.” I slid out and gripped her shoulders, spinning her toward the door. “Now go claim your prize.” I gave her a quick hug. “And maybe bring your Auntie Sloane a jerky tomorrow as payment.”
“I can do that.” Her eyes took on a faraway look. “The corner store sells the skinny ones for a dollar.”
“That sounds perfect.” As soon as I scooted her out into the hall, I checked on Jess—still unconscious—then on Sloane.
“Your shifter healing will take care of that red spot before breakfast.” I rubbed it like a stain I could wipe away but only made it worse.
“Burdock must have really given you the good stuff if that didn’t wake you. ”
“Who says I’m not awake?” She didn’t so much as flutter an eyelid. “Do you really think I would miss a chance to mess with Liam?” She snickered and pulled the covers up to her chin. “I do appreciate you negotiating a payoff for me. Talk about having your jerky and eating it too.”
“I think that was cake, but sure.” I thumped her again, right between the eyes, and laughed when she yelped. “That was for faking.” I considered going for lucky number three. “Jess and I have been watching over you all afternoon, and that’s the thanks we get?”
“I haven’t been awake long.” She finally looked at me. “You were asleep, so I wasn’t going to bother you. Then I saw Goldie sneaking in and waited to see what she was up to before deciding on my next move.”
“And that was letting her snap a photo that made you look like one of those blinking dolls when one of their creepy eyelids gets stuck?”
“Yes.”
“As your best friend, it’s not my job to always understand you as long as I support you.”
“That is probably for the best, yes.” She turned on her side facing me. “What time is it?”
“No clue.” I stifled a yawn. “Want to talk smack about Liam until we fall asleep?”
Scootching over, she patted the mattress beside her. “I thought you would never ask.”
Sloane was bouncing in place, eager to leave the clinic, but I had to find Jess first. She hadn’t been in the room when I woke, and I had yet to see a nurse I could ask.
She wasn’t answering my texts either. About the time I decided to go search for her, a faraway door squeaked, and a soft voice escaped into the hall.
“I’ll be right back.” I pointed where Sloane sat on the bed. “Do not move until you’re discharged.”
Mature as always, she stuck her tongue out at me and kept swinging her legs.
I tracked the source near the exit and peeked in a room through the thin glass panel inset into the door.
Jess sat in a chair she had pulled up next to Becca’s bed.
She held an eReader in hand and read down the page before flicking her gaze up to Becca’s and then back to her story.
As far as I knew, Becca was still as sick today as she had been after her initial treatment.
She had stabilized early on, but her recovery had stalled past that.
“She asked for permission earlier,” Burdock said from behind me. “Told me she read a study about how people in comas can hear their loved ones talking to them, and it helps them hold on. Gives them an anchor to follow back to consciousness.”
“I wasn’t aware they knew each other.”
“Oh, they don’t. Jess volunteered at the senior care center before we moved to Brentwood. The companionship was good for the residents, and for her. I made rounds there weekly, and she always beat me there.”
“She’s good people.”
“I agree.” He nudged me away from the window before we interrupted them. “I assume you’re here to pester me on Sloane’s behalf.”
“I was looking for Jess, actually, since she disappeared from Sloane’s room before I woke this morning.” I winced and confessed, “You were next on my list.”
“I’ll need to interview Sloane now that she’s awake.
We’re trying to determine how and when she was exposed, but she wasn’t lucid enough to answer questions the last time we spoke.
I’m not hoping for much. She seems to have lost a chunk of her memory after exposure, which is a known side effect for non-dragons who ingest dragonsbane. ”
“What about the enforcers?”
“They weren’t dosed heavily enough to experience more than a sedative effect, but I’ll be calling them in a bit to check on them. None of them recall seeing anything or anyone unusual. They remember running on the trail and then they were in the clinic.”
“Maybe rest and time will fill in the blanks.”
“I heard you’re going out tonight.”
Everyone and their momma had, as near as I could tell. But maybe it felt that way to me, since I had never had an inner circle. Let alone one this size.
“No one has finalized it with me yet, but I hope so. There’s been so much chaos—”
“That’s what worries me.” He hesitated. “Has it occurred to you that if you can track Sartori through your bond that he can do the same?” He rubbed his face. “You haven’t had a moment of peace to try and hunt him through that connection, and it’s possible that’s no coincidence.”
“Have you shared these concerns with Rían?”
“We discussed it last night when he stopped by with Goldie. He’s aware of my reservations, but I know it’s also the best hope we’ve got of finding Sartori before he escalates further. We’ve been lucky so far, comparatively, but luck always runs out.”
“I don’t take this on lightly.” I exhaled.
“I’m aware Carmichael could track me as easily as I can find him.
Easier, I’m sure, since he’s an experienced alpha who knows more about pack bonds than I ever will.
But I don’t think he’s going to risk hunting me in Brentwood.
Not personally.” I puffed out my cheeks.
“Once I leave the town, that’s when he’s more likely to strike.
” I reflected on what he told me, and chills dappled my arms. “There’s a possibility his plan has been to drive me out of town, to force me to take a chance and put myself in danger. ”
“Rían came to the same conclusion.”
And yet he hadn’t attempted to stop me. He wouldn’t have let me go in blind to his concerns, so I felt certain he had a talk planned for my future, but still.
That he hadn’t swooped in last night and carried me away after he and Burdock hit on more unsettling possibilities reminded me why I wanted to stand by Rían.
He might not like what I had planned, but he would support me, and he would give me enough resources to ensure the best chance for success.
I was so used to being shut down at every turn, I had become indifferent to the pack and the lives of its members. There had been no point in putting myself out there. I understood now that had always been Carmichael’s plan. To keep me weak, isolated, to prevent me from looking outside myself.
Heat flashed behind my breastbone, startling me into remembering my dragon rested closer to the surface than ever, and she wasn’t happy about the turn of my thoughts.
The barrier between the two halves of myself was thinning, and beneath that topmost layer I sensed grief, remorse, and a fury that burned so hot it could scorch the Earth.
Had smoke not curled out of my nostrils, I might have convinced myself I was imagining things, but no.
It was as plain as the button nose on Goldie’s face.
My dragon hated Carmichael. She hated him so much it caused her to thrash within me, seeking an outlet, desperate to protect me now as she hadn’t been able to back then.
But a dragon was an extension of their human half. Did that mean I was really mad I hadn’t been able to protect myself, and I was letting my new power take the blame? Or was it possible…?
“Don’t get too worked up.” Burdock fanned away the smoke. “Things won’t always be so hectic.”
Clan history made me doubt that was true. As long as there were dragons, there would be those who sought to destroy or possess them. We might enjoy long periods of peace, but we would never be safe like other packs, clans, and prides.
“Can I ask you something?” I bit my bottom lip. “About the relationship between a dragon and its…er…”
“You want to know if your dragon is a part of your consciousness or if it possesses its own.” He grinned at my surprise. “All young dragons ask the same questions, and you’re no different. It’s normal to be curious and to seek a greater understanding of the new presence within you.”
“Oh good.”
“For instance, Rían asked if he would still get in trouble if his dragon stole cookies from his cousin.”
“I still can’t picture Rían as a troublemaker. That sounds like a Liam thing to do.”
“Yes, well, we all change as the burdens of adulthood press down on our shoulders.”
“Does that mean the answer is no? That we’re each responsible for our own actions?”
“Our inner dragons can and do influence us, but they amplify what is already within us. When they act in ways that appear as though they have coerced you into fulfilling their wants or needs, you must search within yourself to find the root cause of their actions. Those ambitions and desires are yours, and those who suppress their emotions or fail to acknowledge their truths have the unruliest dragons.”
“Hmm.” I rubbed the warm scale through the fabric of my shirt. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“I can say this much, and it might help set your mind at ease. Your situation is unique, and it’s bound to impact how you establish your relationship with your dragon.
Just remember that she’s part of you, and if you find she fixates on a person or thing, especially from your past, then you should reflect on why that is and how to resolve the issue before she does it for you. ”
“I’ll do that,” I mumbled, lost in thought as I returned to Sloane.
Odd how even when explaining how my dragon and I were the same, he still distinguished her as if she were her own entity. Wolves did the same. Other shifters too. Did that mean it was a matter of opinion, whether the beast in our souls was its own creature or simply a shadow part of us?
I wasn’t sure, but she and I had a lifetime to find out the answer together.