Chapter 22
Ileft Winnie alone on the balcony for all of five minutes to get a drink, and I come back to her leaning against the banister, talking to someone below, yet again.
The sight of the mustached man sends butterflies fluttering around my stomach like a teenager, and the sight of me sends a smile stretching across his face.
“Hey Han,” he calls up. “Your girl and I are just making dinner plans for tonight.”
Winnie is smiling over at me, eyes filled with hope.
“Winnie—”
“We decided on you guys coming over for dinner at my place so Winnie can check in on her sheep.”
“Her sheep?” I ask.
“So, I’ll see you in an hour?” He nods and before I can respond he slips into the cab of his truck.
He’s smiling as he drives away.
“Oh Winnie, my girl.” I shake my head and settle my conflicted heart. “You are quite the wing woman.”
“I don’t have wings.” She frowns, then returns to her coloring book at the table.
An hour later I am pulling up Tanner's driveway, and I don’t even come to a full stop before Winnie is throwing off her seat belt.
“I see them!” she squeals and the moment I unlock her door, she is out running across the grass to the flower-lined pen.
I glance up at the house with my stomach in my throat and spot Tanner on the front deck. He’s leaning down against the banister with arms crossed and a smile etched in his face. He shakes his head gently and my heart sinks to my knees.
He pushes up as I approach and opens the front door for me.
Without Lauren and Rhett here, something feels more intimate about this place.
The hall is narrow, the ceilings are low, and the warmth of summer seeps into the walls.
The windows are open, and the white sheer curtains toss gently in the cross breeze.
It’s warm, but not stuffy like the apartment.
There’s a sturdiness in this house I can’t quite put my finger on it.
It’s old, but solid. A place I wish I could put roots in.
“What are you thinking?” Tanner asks, and his warm voice only makes the place feel even more like home.
I spin to face him. “Nothing.”
We both smile at the lie.
While the radio in the windowsill crinkles with a country love song, my eyes settle on the mantle over his fireplace.
It’s filled with framed pictures. I walk over and see they’re filled with, well, everyone.
There are ones of him with Mayben, both wearing a big goofy grin, One with his parents, others with Rhett and some with Lauren and Rhett.
Some with the Hamilton Brothers, the lively bunch of boys with dark curly hair and devious grins.
“I'm sorry, by the way. For Winnie inviting us over.” I call back over my shoulder.
“No more apologizing.”
“Sorry,” I laugh and he shoots me a playful glare. “What can I do to help with dinner?”
“Winnie and I have it taken care of. Can you tell her I need her when she’s ready?”
“What do you mean?”
He shakes his head and pretends to zip his lips.
I dip back down the hallway, and from the porch, I watch Winnie rest her chin onto her folded arms atop the fence.
My throat tightens. This view, this moment, the sun lighting her profile in gold.
The sheep teetering around, baying and eating grass.
The world moves around her, but she doesn’t notice. She only sees the sheep.
“Winnie! Tanner needs you!” I call out to her.
“I’ll be back,” she tells the animals and climbs down off the fence and runs back up the grass to me. “Can we move here?”
“To Green Branch?”
“To Tan’s house.”
“I don’t think Tanner has enough drawers for both of us,” I tease.
I turn back to the house and see Tanner has caught the conversation and is standing there watching me with that damn smirk as Winnie runs past him.
“I’d clear out every drawer for you. Don’t let that be a reason you don’t stay.”
I stand there stunned, blushing, motionless, you name it.
“Come on guys!” Winnie yells from inside.
“Alright you two.” I pat his arm and brush by him. “What’s for dinner?”
“Pizza!” Winnie squeals and Tanner pulls out dough and other ingredients from the fridge.
“Did you get the things to make our own pizzas?”
“My dad used to make pizzas with us growing up.” He takes my hips and moves me out of his way. “He let us pick whatever toppings we wanted.”
“I want pineapple.” Winnie holds the edge of the counter, hardly containing her excitement.
“Since when?”
“Since Tan said he likes it.”
“Oh God. You’re a pineapple pizza person? And you’re brainwashing my kid into it too?”
He smirks. “Just enlightening her to the ways of better pizza, my dear.”
“Can we get a deer next?” Winnie asks.
We.
Tanner ruffles her hair, then we get to work. We roll out dough, put on way too much cheese and a terrible combination of toppings, and laugh. Boy, do we laugh.
After we bake it (for a little too long) we sit around the table and Winnie puts her hands out for us to hold. “Grace?”
“Yes ma’am.” Tanner nods and takes her hand then slips his hand into mine.
“God, thank you for my sheep, my mom, and her boyfriend Tan. Thank you for pizza and my Grampy. Tell him I miss him. Amen.”
“Amen,” Tanner says all too happily, and I dart my eyes from her, to him, and back to her.
“Winnie, honey. Tan isn’t my boyfriend.”
She sighs with deep exasperation, then puts her hands back out for us.
“God, I pray you make Tan my mom’s boyfriend. Amen.”
Tanner whispers an amen below his smirk while I hit his knee with my own.
“So. Fred.” Tanner turns to the smirking child. “Update me. How’s camp?”
I watch the two talk as she happily babbles about swimming and open gym. She tells him how they were practicing football, and she only hit one kid in the head.
“Oh, and the boys stink so bad.” She scrunches up her nose. “I need a fresher.”
“Air freshener?” Tanner’s mouth twists into a smile.
“Yeah, they make the whole gym stink.” She nods seriously.
Winnie talks until she’s decided she’s done, then scrambles outside to see her animals.
“Beer?” Tanner asks me once the screen door claps shut behind her.
“Please.”
He grabs a couple bottles from the old creaky fridge, hands me one, then sits across from me. His body leaned back in the chair as his eyes settle on mine, making my blood cells trip over themselves. I take a long sip from the bottle.
“So.” I set my beer down with a sharp bang, louder than intended, but it gets the point across. Tanner's eyes go wide, and he cocks his head to the side, amused at my outburst. “Since we are best friends and I will be here for the rest of the summer…”
He laughs with that damn tilted head. “Hannah.”
“Nope.” I hold my hand up to shush him. “We need to set rules. Like actual ones. Not these pretend ones we make up on the go. For now.”
“For now?”
I let out a breath. “For now.”
He pauses and sighs. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I question and shove the disappointment at his lack of argument.
“Okay.”
I sit straight. “First, no touching.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I give him a quick look, and he lets out a little displeased sigh. “Fine.”
“No more compliments. I appreciate them but–”
“Oh, come on.” He leans forward dropping his palms onto the table. “That’s not fair.”
“None,” I warn. “And lastly. No more almost kissing.”
This one catches him. His jaw goes slack ever so slightly, and a little fire is lit behind his eyes. “What did you just say?”
“No more almost kissing. We need to practice a little more self-restraint,” I say and lean back, feigning confidence in the statement, hoping that maybe one of us will believe it.
Tanner pushes forward, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning into my space. “I’ve already been using all of my willpower to not kiss you. Almost kissing is my restraint, Hannah.”
“You just broke two of the rules.” My voice hardly leaves my lungs. “But fine. Then self-restraint is the third. You just need to practice a little harder.”
“Fine,” he says and there is a challenge in that single word. One that sends goosebumps across my skin. I watch a golden curl grace his forehead and I am brushing it back before I can think about it.
“Why?” He asks, turning his head to kiss my hand. These rules never stood a chance.
“Why what?”
“Why the rules?” His words are asked into my palm.
“Because my heart is in so many places, I’m afraid I’m losing control of it. I need to focus on Lauren and Winnie in this new chapter and—” I’m halfway to telling him I love him too much to only give him a part of me, but the screen door swings open on its hinges before I can.
“Tan why is my sheep fat?” Winnie calls down the hall.
We both freeze. His hand is on my thigh and my hand still on his cheek. “What do you mean kiddo?” he calls out to her, his eyes staying locked on mine.
“She’s fat and wobbling funny. Is she eggs begging? Like Aunt Laurey?”
“Expecting,” Tanner corrects, but his voice is soft and only for me to hear. Then to her says, “let me come look.”
He stands and goes to the door, leaving me at the table, breathless. Breathless and watching those jeans do good, good deeds.
I clear the table, wash the dishes in the sink and pack away the leftovers.
I'm lighting a candle when I hear them calling for me between fits of laughter outside.
I dry my hands as I walk to the door and from the front deck, I spot Winnie and Tanner bright-eyed and laughing at one of the pens.
Tanner looks up at me and when his eyes land on mine, the laughter dries up and his throat bobs.
I turn my head to the side, questioning, but he blows out a breath.
“I would be breaking rule number two,” he calls up to me. Compliments.
“What did you guys need from me?” I ask, leaning my shoulder against the column of the deck and wonder if they can see my pink cheeks from there.
“Well.” Tanner looks over at Winnie. “Do you want to tell her the news?”
Winnie has tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard.
“What is it?” I ask and she takes a few gasps of air.