46. Miley
T he door clicks loudly behind me.
Emily, Ruby’s bridesmaid, is in the throes of getting her hair and makeup done. The stylist is currently curling her locks into loose beach waves, which accentuates her balayage. She has her eyes closed as a makeup artist is applying shadow to her ink dark eyes.
One of the wedding photographers turns away from Emily as we step in and takes this moment to take a candid photo of Ruby and I.
“Maybe not now,” Ruby suggests nicely. “Can everyone step out for a second, while Miley and I—”
“Actually, it’s okay, stay. I am not ashamed, well, I am not ashamed anymore,” I state confidently, my voice breaking, belying my confidence.
Ruby leads me to one of the couches and sits next to me.
“Are you sure? I can…” Emily says with unease, not wanting to intrude on what she assumes is personal and family drama.
“I’m positive. You need to get your hair and makeup done. I’m in no position to delay the wedding, and I’m ready to share my secrets. If you hear them, you can bear witness to them.” I say more for my own benefit than anyone else’s.
Ruby takes my hands and gives them a squeeze. “Always the perfect nails.” She smiles at me.
“Courtesy of Angela and Aunt Sue.”
“Want to bet how far into the ceremony Aunt Sue will start crying?” Ruby asks.
I laugh. “Well, if she ever stopped crying, she’ll restart the second you walk down the aisle. Remind me to get her a pack of tissues… many packs actually, before the ceremony.”
“So why did Rohit nearly kill Harrison? It seemed more than just ‘I hate him because he’s your ex,’” Ruby says.
I take a deep breath and start explaining.
“In college, Harrison and I slept together. We were young and stupid and neither of us thought about protection at that time. I got pregnant.”
Ruby gasps. “Oh Miley, I’m so sorry, and I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could come to me.”
“When I told Harrison, he totally ghosted me. No apology, no support, no nothing. I felt so alone, like I didn’t have any options and no one in my corner. So, I went to Planned Parenthood and had an abortion,” I confess as tears well in my eyes.
“You know I would have supported any decision you wanted to make.” She squeezes my hands, then grimaces. “That fuckwad,” she adds.
I look into Ruby’s eyes as a tear falls down her face.
“Don’t cry, you’re gonna smudge your makeup,” I implore.
From the other side of the room, the makeup artist interjects, thankfully breaking the tension, “Who do you think we are, amateurs? Everyone cries at weddings, the makeup is waterproof. We’re not listening. Please keep going.”
I chuckle, turning my attention back to my sister. “I know that now, that you would have supported me, but at the time, I felt stupid, ashamed, embarrassed. The only other person I told was Dylan, because I needed someone to take me to Planned Parenthood and drive me home after the procedure.”
Recognition dawns on Ruby’s face. “Is this why you were at the Planned Parenthood Gala?” she asks.
I nod. “I go every year. The organization means so much to me. They saved my life.”
“They save a lot of lives, that’s why I’m always so happy to represent them,” Ruby says. Then she asks, “Have you told mom and dad?”
“No, but I will. Like I said, I’m not ashamed anymore. I got pregnant, it was a dumb mistake, but I’m not ashamed of the decision I had to make. I feel for every woman who has to go through the same thing I did, and I hope that women continue to have the right to make those kinds of decisions for themselves.”
Ruby leans in and gives me a hug. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders because this secret is no longer mine to bear, but a story I want to share.
I hear a series of distinctive clicks of a camera shutter. The photographer is back at it again. Ruby eyes her suspiciously and the photographer shrugs.
“You’re gonna love these pictures,” the photographer remarks with a coy smile.
As I leave the room to go find Rohit, to make sure he hasn’t been charged for murder, I hear shouts and whoops from everyone.
I even hear Emily mutter, “I’m gonna fuck Harrison up.”
Rohit is waiting in the hallway for me.
When he sees me, he flashes me that warm, beautiful smile, tentative at first, then turns radiant as he notices I’m okay—better than okay actually.
“How did it go?” he asks.
“Honestly, it was great. I don’t know why I didn’t tell her sooner,” I respond, and realize that is the truth. Ruby would have been there for me all along and I believe the rest of my family too. If I wasn’t inundated with my own humiliation, I might have been able to see past that. I can’t change what I did back then, but I can let everyone in now. I won’t ruin Ruby’s wedding day, so I’ll wait until tomorrow and tell mom and dad, even Aunt Sue.
I’m just noticing what Rohit is wearing, the slim fit tuxedo with a bow tie, everything perfectly tailored. “I see this outfit has come in handy again,” I say.
“Who knew knowing you would require constant care and maintenance of a tux, if I had known your life was so glamorous—” he says.
“Don’t finish that sentence!” I shove him gently.
He leans into me and grazes his lips to my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He whispers, “I was going to say, I would have signed up much earlier. You know I love a good party.”
“Thank you for coming,” I say honestly. “And did I hear you say I love you in Chinese back there?”
“Maybe.” He shrugs in nonchalance and wipes imaginary dust off his shoulder. Cocky bastard. I lean in for a kiss.
A throat clears and we jump apart. My family might love him, but they’re still Chinese, they might not approve of our overt public displays of affection.
But it’s only Ruby’s wedding planner.
“Places, everyone!” she shouts at us.
Let’s go.