Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
There is absolutely nothing as gross, unromantic, and horrifying as going to the doctor to see if you’ve evolved enough for sex with your alien partner. Hands down, even when I had a full box of toys in my lap while getting my alien sex education, this is the worst thing I’ve ever done for sex.
Dr. Randy guides me to the circle of shame again, where the medical device thingy does its up and down scan and takes a sample of my blood. A picture of my internal self appears on the wall for him to study. Honestly, I can’t tell the difference. Bee could, but I’m never showing her my?—
Bee walks into the room through the door with a demented smile on her face. “So, how’s it looking?” she asks as I glare daggers at this nosy bitch.
Dr. Randy points to the picture on the wall.
“I am surprised by the outcome of this evolution.” He turns to address me, absolutely ignoring patient confidentiality.
“The nanites were programmed to change your physiology to accommodate the size of our penetrative sex organ, to strengthen some of your muscles, and to make your internal pleasure more easily stimulated, however, the nanites are also artificial intelligence with some measure of autonomy, and they have made more significant changes to your anatomy than expected.”
I have a question. I wasn’t even going to address this, but now that he’s bringing up some unexpected outcomes, I think maybe I should talk to my doctor about the weirdness that has been happening for the last week or so.
“Bee. I will very literally kill you if you ever repeat what I am about to say to anyone outside of this room. If I so much as suspect Lora knows you know, I will end you,” I threaten, almost as serious as I was when we were ten and took a blood oath to always be best friends.
Bee cackles, but she puts up one hand and places the other on her heart. “I swear on my nursing degree that I won’t make a peep about this.”
I give her one more glare and turn to address my actual doctor. “So, does this have anything to do with the, uh, slimy defecate I’ve been seeing in my toilet recently?”
I know, I know. I shouldn’t be afraid to talk to doctors about poop, but c’mon.
It’s so gross, and embarrassing, and if I’m not bleeding, not having constant diarrhea, and not experiencing anything debilitating, why would I ever talk to anyone about it ever?
Not even Bee, and I love her more than anyone.
The only time I’m ever going to talk about poop is if there is a problem, and slime does not constitute a problem.
I’ve expelled a shit ton of lube into the toilet before, and this is like that, except I haven’t used that much lube recently.
“Ah, yes. That would be a side effect of this physiological change. The nanites triggered the growth of a birthing canal. Your colon collapses during heightened arousal and the canal swells. Your anus relaxes and opens up with the swelling, and that canal is lined with mucous membrane, so it will produce natural lubricant for penetration. The leukorrhea also functions as a means of keeping the canal clean and protects it from infection by expelling foreign bacteria. The nanites knew you did not want a womb, so your canal ends with no womb for gestation. It is an interesting evolution. I may study the history of human genetics. Somewhere in your evolution you evolved into mostly binary sexual presentations, but the capacity for non-binary sexes is abundant enough to have a blueprint for male presenting gestation.”
“That is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard,” Bee announces in her I-want-to-study-this tone.
“It’s something,” I confirm a little weirded out by my new anatomy. I knew it was going to happen, but now I might be freaking out. Ignore the heart monitor telling me I’m in tachycardia range. “Just so I’m clear, the nanites are done making changes to my body, correct?”
Dr. Randy’s rattle is the verbal equivalent of teeter-tottering a hand back and forth.
“They are finished with the current anatomical changes, but they will remain active for the duration of your life, maintaining your health within the constraints of their programming. They are a part of the biological symbiotic environment of your body now.”
“Pretty much every vaccine we give includes these nanites and they become a part of the body’s function, enhancing without replacing all parts of the internal systems,” Bee explains.
“It’s like your gut is full of good bacteria, and now it also has nanites keeping your bacteria healthy.
Your immune system knows how to protect you against chicken pox, and now the nanites can teach it how to recognize cancer. It’s all beneficial.”
“And I have a birthing canal, too,” I remind myself. I take a deep breath and let it all go. Aliens be doing alien shit. I be doing Lora. “So I’m good for getting railed by my alien lover?” I confirm, putting it as crassly as possible for Bee’s benefit.
Dr. Randy makes a querying rattle, holds for a beat, then rattles positively. “Yes. You may now engage in penetrative sex with LoveOrderRenewalArtifice.”
“Excellent. Thank you for the check up. I hope not to see you in a professional capacity for a while,” I say, jumping off the tall table, pointing at Bee, and warning her, “Not a word.”
Bee zips her lips, but the gleeful little smirk on her face tells me she’s going to do something that will require me to commit a murder. I just hope it’s not until after I’ve ridden my ScaryDarkAlienVampire into the oblivion of pleasure and painted us both in cum.
My muscles clench in anticipation, and my booty gets a little damp. This is going to be an experience.