Chapter 22
Ethan
Mia’s mouth opens as wide as her eyes when we walk through the front door at Boyds. Her eyes rake over every inch of the high-end department store. I want to be the man to give her everything she needs.
“Wow!” Mia squeals. “This place is fancy. I probably couldn’t afford a tube of lipstick, let alone clothing. I feel stupid having you pamper me. Between you and Will, I don’t know who’s worse. I don’t need things to make me happy.”
“It would make me happy if you had these things.”
“Clothes and jewelry are material possessions—just stuff to collect dust in my bedroom. I don’t like you or my brother wasting money on me when I don’t see the point. I have everything I need.”
I slide my hands up her arms and guide her toward Alanna, a pretty brunette waiting for us in the women’s shoe department, with a bright smile.
“Don’t fight me, little lamb,” I whisper. “The wolf always wins.”
Her body trembles, but not out of fear. She likes this side of me. My girl craves it. I can see the lust in her eyes, the way her heartbeat speeds up with each authoritative word that slips from my lips.
“Mia, meet Alanna, my shopper. Alanna, this is Mia… my girlfriend.”
Mia peeks up at me with wide-eyed curiosity and a smile that illuminates her entire face. It’s not like I’m letting Mia go. The only problem I have to sort out is Will. But that can wait for another day. Another month. Maybe when we win the Stanley Cup.
If that ever happens.
Alanna’s eyes widen in shock. She signed a non-disclosure agreement. And if she wants my money, she won’t make a big deal out of this.
Alanna holds out her hand for Mia to shake. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Mia pulls back her hand. “You, too.”
Alanna glances at Mia for a few seconds, likely trying to guess her measurements.
An excellent personal shopper can figure these things out without much instruction.
She knew mine the first time we’d met. Of all the women in my life, Alanna was never anything more than someone who works for me.
We’ve never had sex, and I wouldn’t let Will go near her either.
I don’t like to mix business with pleasure.
“I have a room ready for you.” Alanna holds out her hand to show Mia the way. “I pulled a few things for each of you. How about you two get comfortable, and I’ll show you everything I set aside?”
Mia smiles. “That would be great. Thank you.”
We sit on a bench once we enter our private dressing room.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Mia groans. “I feel so out of place here.”
“Stop worrying about what people think. You have just as much a right to be here as anyone else. A woman as beautiful as you should feel comfortable anywhere she goes.”
“People looked at me like I don’t belong with you.”
Lifting her chin with my hand, I force her to look into my eyes. “No one has ever fit into my life like you do, Mia. No one. Not a single fucking woman. Ever. You act like you’re the only lucky one when I’m the bastard who doesn’t deserve you.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You’re not a bastard.”
“No?”
“Nope, not at all. I don’t date bastards, and I sure don’t let them fuck me.”
“I’m a bastard for fucking you like I do. Your pussy is too fucking sweet. I can’t control myself with you.”
“No one said you had to. Keep fucking me like that. Never stop.”
The corner of my mouth turns up into a wicked grin. I grab my crotch and adjust my growing erection. “This conversation is making me so hard. Hurry up and try this shit on, or I’ll have to fuck you in this room, and I won't care who hears us.”
Mia chuckles.
I love the sound of her laughter. Being with her reminds me of what we had in high school when she trusted me with her secrets. She looked at me as if I was her entire world. She still does. That scares me most of all because it means I have the power to hurt her.
I never want her to feel the pain I’ve endured for twelve years. I never want her heart to ache from losing someone she loves. I know she loves me. Some part of me, even the sick and tortured parts, has always loved her. She’s the first and only girl I’ve ever loved.
I take the clothes from Alanna’s arm when she enters the changing room. “I got a little bit of everything,” she says in her singsong voice. “I wasn’t sure what mood you were in, Mia, but pull out whatever you like. If you need anything, give me a shout.”
I hang the clothing on the metal hooks. Alanna exits the room with a gentle wave, promising to check on us in five minutes.
“What do you want to try on first?” I turn around to face Mia with a short, sleeveless black dress in my hand. “This will look hot on you. My mom says every woman needs a ‘little black dress.’ You should have one, too. Try it on.”
Mia closes the distance between us. “Are you attempting to turn me into the woman you want me to be?”
“Of course not. You already are the woman I want you to be. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”
She throws her hands on her hips. “Except for my clothes.”
“This has nothing to do with the clothes or how you dress. You could wear a pair of beat-up Chucks with ripped jeans and a Warped Tour shirt. You look good in anything. Wear a trash bag for all I care.”
“Then what difference does it make if I have a little black dress or a new shirt?”
“It doesn’t. I want to take care of you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give you everything. I also hoped to take you somewhere nice for dinner, and it’s a ‘little black dress’ kind of place.”
She snatches the dress from my hand with a cheesy grin. “Fine. I’ll wear the dress as long as you pick a good restaurant. Something Italian.”
“That I can do. We could go to Luciano’s. What do you say?”
“Am I your girlfriend?”
I suck in a deep breath and look away from her. “I’m not sure what to call us. We only had sex last night.”
“That’s not what you told Alanna. You said girlfriend.”
“I need to tell Will, remember? We already talked about this.”
“Maybe I should tell him,” she offers. “I could soften the blow. He’ll understand if I tell him I want to be with you.”
I shake my head. “No, he won’t. Will asked me if I liked you more than once, and I always denied it. He was pissed when I accidentally touched your knee or told you were hot.”
She smiles. “You think I’m hot?”
I smile back. “That’s another thing I like about you. You’re gorgeous, smart, incredibly sexy, and don’t even know it.”
“So, what do we do about my brother?”
I shrug. “I have no idea. Ever since the night we kissed, I’ve asked myself the same thing.”
“Either way, we’re lying to him. I hate the secrecy.”
“Will is like a brother to me. I met him not long after—” I stop myself from saying more out of fear Mia will want to rehash my past.
“Not long after you lost your brother,” she finishes for me.
I narrow my eyes at her. “How do you know about Erik?”
She frowns. “I’m a reporter. Did I ever tell you why I wanted to become a journalist?”
I shake my head. “No, you never did.”
“Because of you.” She digs her pointy finger into my bicep.
“You left me without saying goodbye. You broke my heart that day. Then, you showed up not long after my first semester of college as if nothing happened. But you were different and much darker than the boy I talked to on the swing in my backyard. The Ethan I knew was long gone.”
“You know about Erik, then.” Bile rises from my stomach, choking me.
She bobs her head. “Yes, but the newspapers didn’t provide a lot of details. I only know that he died in a car accident. You were dreaming about him this morning.”
It took me years to tell Will about my brother. He knows all of my darkest secrets. A few reporters have asked me about Erik. Every time, I shut them down. No one outside of my inner circle can know about my real life. It’s none of their business.
“I have nightmares about my brother. I hate that I lived and he died. I feel guilty. We were twins. A part of me died with Erik. It left me hollow. I still am. Your brother came into my life at the right time. He reminded me so much of Erik. I started to smile again. I felt alive when I was with Will.”
She holds her free hand up to her mouth, her eyes well up with tears. The pain on her face slices into my chest. I swipe a tear from her cheek and decide to keep going. After telling her this much about my past, she should hear the rest of the story, even though I would rather not share it.
“Erik had a blood clot that traveled to his brain and caused a stroke. It was a ticking time bomb. I was driving the car. I tried to help him when he started seizing and hit the guardrail. It all happened so fast. I woke up in the hospital. The last time I saw my brother alive was before the car flipped. Almost everything after that is a blur.”
She tightens her grip on my hand. “You were you hurt, too?”
I nod. “I had short-term memory loss for a few months, a broken leg, a pinched nerve that still hurts sometimes, and a cut above my eyebrow. I hit my head hard on the steering wheel. When the airbag broke, I cracked my thick skull on the window, and well, that’s how I got this souvenir.
” I point to the scar above my left eyebrow.
“This isn’t from hockey, even though I tell everyone that’s how I got it.
At the time, saying it was a battle scar sounded cooler. ”
“I understand you so much more now. Your brother is why Will is so important to you and why you need his approval.” Mia swallows hard and wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “I don’t want to be the one to take him away from you. I can’t… not after you’ve lost so much.”
I silence her concern with my lips. The simple act causes her to still until our lips separate. “We’ll figure this out. I promise.”
“E, I don’t want your friendship with Will to end over us dating. He’ll be pissed if he finds out we’re having sex behind his back.”
“You’re not just sex, Mia.”
My cell phone rings, the obnoxious sound interrupting our conversation. I fish it from my pocket and glance at the Caller ID.
It’s Will.
Of course, it is.
I hold the phone to my ear. “Yeah, I’m here with Mia.”
He asks about our shopping adventure and tells me to put it on his credit card. Alanna has the information on file. I prefer to buy Mia the dress for our dinner, but Will insists on doing something nice for her.
“The association called,” he says. “Did you hear from them?”
“Nope, not yet. What did they say?”
“We can move in next Thursday. The repairs are almost done. Only one more week of sleeping on Mia’s sofa. You coming back to her place or what?”
I glance over at Mia and wink. “I can rough it with you for a few more days. Unless you want to come stay at the Ritz with me.”
“Nah, Mia can use the company. When are you guys coming back? I want to grab dinner at the Mexican place that opened down the street.”
“Umm… okay. We should be home in the next two hours.”
We say our goodbyes. My heart sinks into my stomach when I see the deflated look on Mia’s face.
“We’re not going to dinner now, are we?”
“No,” I confess. “But I’ll make it up to you this week.”
“When Will isn’t around?”
I sigh. “I didn’t want to tell him no.”
“I’m not mad, E. I get it. Keep it casual. Friends with benefits don’t go to fancy dinners with each other. So, I guess I won’t be needing a dress.” She releases her grip on my hand.
“We’ll find a way, okay? Tonight is a small bump in the road. Get the dress because you’ll need it, and your brother will get suspicious if you don’t come home with at least one bag.”
“Right.” She bites her lip. “Good point.”
I pull her onto my lap and plant soft kisses along her collarbone and shoulder before reaching her lips.
She smells of her flowery perfume. Drinking in her delicious scent, I burrow my face into her neck.
A chill runs through her body that causes her to tremble in my arms. I love having this effect on her.
“You two doing okay in there?” Alanna asks from the other side of the door.
Define okay.
“Yes,” I say. “We need more time.”
I need more time to tell Will.
“Oh, okay. Perfect. I’ll be in the shoe department if you need me.”
The second Alanna disappears, my mouth is on Mia’s, and my tongue is parting her lips. We need this time alone before we have to go back to her apartment. Before we have to face Will.