Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
She had originally wanted to take her mum somewhere special for coffee, somewhere where you could get homemade biscotti to go with your freshly ground single-origin beans, but she couldn’t afford it.
The only place that served that sort of thing was the posh hotel and spa on the outskirts of the village.
And anyway, as much as it was a nice idea, it sent the wrong message for the purposes of the meet.
Instead Lorna had settled on Heron Water Cafe, down by the reservoir. She thought they could go for a walk afterwards – mother and daughter – perhaps discuss Carol’s grandchildren’s future in more detail.
For early October it was still warm and, as Lorna arrived, she saw there was only one table still free outside.
She bagged it, putting her jacket on the opposite chair, ignoring the two women who came out of the cafe clutching coffees, looking pointedly around for seats.
Fortunately, Carol arrived, which averted any confrontation.
‘There you are,’ said Lorna.
‘Am I late?’ asked Carol.
Lorna looked at her watch. She wasn’t actually. And she didn’t want this meeting to get off on the wrong foot. ‘Not at all.’
‘I’ll get us a coffee, shall I?’ said Carol.
Lorna jumped up. ‘No, my treat.’ She hurried into the cafe before Carol could protest and came back with two drinks and two slices of cake.
Carrot, her mum’s favourite. Lorna hadn’t been sure whether to get one for herself.
Why was it that both she and her mum were short but Carol managed to be petite and feisty, whereas Lorna just felt small and dumpy?
How could her mother carry off a small stature when she couldn’t?
‘What have I done to deserve this?’ asked Carol as Lorna placed the cake in front of her.
‘Just treating my mum.’
‘Well, thank you. It’s nice to see you too – you don’t usually have time for a coffee in the middle of the day.’
‘Well, like I said the other day, now Pepper’s at school I do have a bit more time on my hands.’
‘Lots, I should imagine.’
Lorna bristled but kept it covered. ‘You’ll be pleased to hear I’ve started my job hunt,’ she announced.
Carol sat back. ‘You have? That’s fantastic.’
‘No interviews yet, but it’s early days.’ The truth was she hadn’t actually applied for anything but she had been thinking about it.
‘What kind of job?’ asked Carol.
‘I want to work with children.’ Lorna had decided this was probably the easiest number – better than being chained to a desk all day.
If she worked with kids, it would be an extension of what she’d been doing for the last few years.
And she’d enjoyed bringing up her two, felt she understood young minds and that she could contribute.
That notion in itself made her feel important.
As if she might change a child’s future and in years to come, when the next CEO, prime minister, Nobel Peace Prize winner made a speech they would cite her as the turning point in their journey to greatness.
She felt herself getting proud and teary just thinking about it.
Carol nodded. ‘In a nursery? School?’
‘A teaching assistant. It’ll work around the school hours. With the kids, you know?’
‘Well, I wish you all the luck in the world. Well done, Lorna.’
Lorna smiled.
‘How are Phoenix and Pepper?’
‘Good. The deadline for the secondary applications is coming up.’
‘Can’t believe Phoenix is growing up so fast. High school! Ripton High won’t know what’s hit them.’
‘Yes . . . well, we’re still hoping he might get a scholarship. You know, for Kingsgate.’
‘But that wouldn’t cover all the fees, would it?’
‘No . . . actually there was something I wanted to ask you.’
‘Go on.’
Lorna had seen the hesitant look in her mother’s eye, but she’d started now so she had to finish, and anyway didn’t her mum say at the barbecue that she wanted to help more?
‘It’s so important to give the children the best start in life and well, I was wondering if there was any chance . . .’
Carol’s face was sinking in disappointment and Lorna felt herself flare up. She knew what was coming and what the response was going to be.
‘James has so much money,’ she said.
‘That’s James’s money, not mine.’
‘But you’re married. Surely, I don’t know, a loan or something? Would he even miss it?’
‘Lorna, I think he might miss several thousand pounds.’
Lorna doubted it. And what about her mum?
When she’d met James and moved in with him, she’d been able to rent out her own house – a place just outside Derby that had been left to her when Lorna’s father had died twelve years ago.
Her mother had hit the jackpot really. The house brought in a nice income every month – Lorna had looked it up.
It always aggrieved Lorna that someone else was living in the place where she grew up, but it was more than that.
Her mother’s generation – the baby boomers – had had the best of everything.
Final salary pensions, jobs for life, affordable property.
Whereas her own generation had meagre contributions from their employers, hardly any job security and house prices that were through the roof.
‘You said you would help more.’
‘When?’
‘At the barbecue.’
‘Did I?’ Carol seemed genuinely puzzled. ‘Oh!’
Finally, thought Lorna. She felt a flare of hope.
‘I meant with childcare,’ said Carol. ‘Picking the children up from school, looking after them until you got back from work.’
What? Was that it? Why had her mother allowed her to think it was something else? ‘But . . . Mum, I know there’s the rental money. That could make a huge difference.’
Carol took a careful breath. ‘I know you feel a particular affiliation with the place, having grown up there—’
‘It was my childhood home!’
‘—but that rental money is going into a pot for the future. None of us know where we’re going to end up.’ She put her cake fork down. ‘Lorna, why are you so set on this school anyway?’
‘Because . . .’ Lorna tried to formulate her answer.
Because it was the best one around? Because she wanted her children to be considered a certain type?
Able to keep up with the more privileged and well-to-do?
Because she didn’t want to miss out? Because she wanted to feel as if she’d made it, had done something for her children, if not for herself?
‘The local academy is perfectly fine,’ Carol said gently. ‘Lots of children at state schools come out with good grades, go on to get good jobs.’
Now she was getting palmed off. Lorna could feel herself getting angry.
‘Except me,’ she said.
‘Pardon?’
‘Well, I went to one and it’s not exactly like I’ve hit the dizzying heights.’
‘It’s not the—’ Her mother stopped abruptly.
‘What?’ prompted Lorna.
‘Nothing.’
But she knew what Carol had been about to say. It wasn’t the school, it was her. She hadn’t had the brains or the ambition. She was a disappointment. The shame of it burned in two pink dots on her cheeks.
Her mother looked awkward and, worse, sympathetic.
Lorna was furious. Her children would be going to Kingsgate. She would make it happen somehow. Her eyes blazed. Just you watch me, Mother.