Chapter 62
‘Hiiiiic. Hiiiic. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiic.’
Dick Whittington’s cat had got hiccups.
Puss wouldn’t have been there at all if it hadn’t been for one of the parents who had written in to complain about the nativity play being ‘biased towards one religion’. Why can’t you include other fairy tales too? she had demanded. There was no pleasing everyone! Gemma herself always got a thrill from the Christmas story. It wouldn’t have been the same without it.
‘Try drinking from the other side of a mug, dear,’ said Helpful Mum, as Miriam used to call her. ‘We did that in my day. It’s meant to help you stop. Whoops. Oh dear. Has anyone got a cloth?’
‘Mrs Merryfield, Mrs Merryfield, my daddy’s going to be here!’
‘That’s nice.’
‘No it’s not. Mum doesn’t want him near us.’
‘Miss Merryfield, I’m terribly sorry to bother you but is it possible for Sienna to stand a bit nearer the front than she did at the dress rehearsal? It will give us a clearer view to take photos of her.’
‘Mrs Merryfield, Mrs Merryfield? Are you getting married?’
Gemma looked down to feel Clemmie stroking her dress. ‘It’s beautiful.’ The child’s eyes were full of wonder. ‘You look like a princess.’
One of the mums, who was hastily stitching up the ox’s tail, nodded, her mouth full of pins. ‘It’s gorgeous. Billy, will you stand still?’
Thank you, Gemma wanted to say. It was my wedding dress. Not that she could ever tell anyone that, but it was a revelation that she could think those words without feeling so much as a tiny ripple of regret. She had passed Kitty’s test! It didn’t hurt to wear the dress again that she had once worn with so many hopes and dreams. It was proof that she had finally moved on.
At that moment, Joe walked by and she saw his eyes widen as they took in her appearance. She felt a slight flush of pleasure. If Joe approved, that meant she really did look all right. Still, she mustn’t forget that this evening wasn’t about her. It was about the children around her, and of course their parents.
‘Mrs Merryfield, Mrs Merryfield, mum can’t come, but my gran’s coming instead.’
‘Mrs Merryfield, Mrs Merryfield, I need a wee wee.’ Too late.
‘Anyone got a cloth? And a spare pair of pants?’
‘Gemmie, darling?’
Gemma blinked. When she’d casually issued an invitation to her parents, she hadn’t thought they’d come. What was it her father had said again? Something about a first-class degree being wasted on a nursery career, if her memory was right.
‘Mum! You came!’
‘Yes, dear. A nice man called Mr Balls showed us where to sit. He said he worked with you.’
It was then that she noticed her mother’s eyes were damp with tears. Don’t say something had happened to Tom! Gemma reached out for her arm. ‘What’s wrong, Mum?’
‘Nothing, darling, nothing.’ Her mother blew her nose. ‘It’s just that we didn’t realise, your father and I, how much they all love you here.’
Thank heavens the tears weren’t due to her brother. A huge tide of relief went through her as her mother babbled on. ‘Every time we mention that you’re our daughter, all the parents tell us how amazing you are. Look at your father over there with your headmistress!’
Dad was talking to Beryl, who was nodding animatedly and glancing over in her direction with approving smiles.
‘Actually Mum, I’d quite like you to meet someone.’ Gemma looked around for Barry, who was also meant to be here. She should have told them about her engagement before but something had stopped her. Was it because, deep down, she’d always had doubts? Or was it, as she’d told herself, there was too much going on at school and she’d wanted to wait until she saw them? Well, now the time was finally here. ‘Remember me telling you about the paratrooper I’d met?’
Her mother blew her nose. ‘Goodness me, dear, you don’t want to get distracted by some young man. Not when you’ve got a career like this. Now, what time does the curtain rise? I just can’t wait! By the way darling, you look lovely. Absolutely lovely.’
Gemma wove her way through the demands, pleas and compliments towards the children’s loos. She remembered the time she had caught Joe in there. Poor man had been mortified! How cruel she had been to laugh about it afterwards. It was only a few months ago, but now, she told herself, standing in front of the mirror over the basins, it seemed like a lifetime.
Gemma had been wearing the dress for an hour now, and had merely felt a very small twinge when she had slipped into it. It was slightly tight round the waist, but the only other difference was in her state of mind. When she’d worn it for her wedding, she had felt sick with excitement and a sense of daring. ‘Let’s get married,’ Sam had said five long years ago, and because she hadn’t expected this and because everything seemed so new and full of possibilities now exams were over and they were able to go off backpacking, she had found herself saying yes and then buying the dress from a shop whose windows were dominated by glittery Elvis Presley outfits.
Now, as she looked in the mirror, she felt sorry for the dress and its previous owner, a different Gemma who had literally leaped before she had looked.
‘We’ve grown up, you and I,’ she told the dress. ‘We’ve learned a lot, don’t you think?’
There was a knock on the door. ‘Gemma,’ called Bella. ‘Are you there? You’re first on, remember?’
Smoothing down the cream silk, she swished her way out – bang into Sam. ‘What are you doing here?’ she gasped.
He took a step backwards. ‘I’m so sorry but I needed to find you. To tell you something.’
He glanced behind him to check no one was listening. Bella had gone. ‘The doctors said Danny could come and watch the play. That’s why we’re here. He got so upset at missing it that they said it might do him more harm than good not to come. He’s got to go back tomorrow, just for a day or so, and then they reckon he can be discharged.’
Gemma almost wanted to hug him. ‘That’s amazing.’ Sam was looking nervous. ‘There’s something else too. Nancy. She mustn’t know. About us. I hope that’s not being cowardly but somehow, after Danny, we’ve managed to sort ourselves out and …’
Another wave of relief. ‘I absolutely agree.’ The last thing she wanted was to break up a family. ‘It wouldn’t be right.’
Sam was still shifting from foot to foot. ‘But I also wanted you to know how grateful I am. We are. For what you did.’
Gemma bit her lip. ‘It didn’t work though, did it?’
‘But you tried.’
‘Maybe I should have tried to make us work too,’ she said, glancing around to make sure no one was there. ‘I was just so upset when you said you didn’t want children. Now I can see that we should have talked about it first.’
‘Gemma.’
He was taking her hands now. It didn’t feel right. ‘Gemma, we were so young then. Mere babies. We shouldn’t have got married on the spur of the moment like that. It was crazy!’
He was hugging her now.
‘But it all worked out,’ he added, finally stepping back. ‘I have my family and, from what I hear, you’ve got engaged, so it won’t be long before you have yours. I just want you to know that Nancy and I will never forget what you’ve done for us.’
And with that he had gone, wending his way back through the curtain to the audience. What about the dress? Gemma could almost hear Kitty hissing. No problem. Sam hadn’t even noticed it.
‘Gemma!’ Not another interruption. She was on the stage now, behind the closed curtains which were about to go back any minute. Besides, weren’t you meant to give flowers after the performance and not before?
‘I wanted you to have them now.’ Barry stood before her with a bunch of stargazer lilies. He knew they were her favourite but not now, not right now. ‘Thought you might like to carry one along with that wand of yours.’ His eyes swept over her dress. ‘You look lovely.’
Go on, urged Kitty in her head. Tell him. See what he says.
‘It’s my wedding dress.’ Gemma tried to speak casually.
Barry went quiet for a moment, and then threw back his head and laughed. ‘You’ve bought it already?’
‘No.’ Gemma tried to keep her voice steady over the rise of excited backstage chatter. ‘No, it’s the dress I got married in. The first time round.’
Barry’s face tightened. ‘You kept it?’ Gemma nodded.
‘Then it must mean something to you.’
She paused. ‘I thought it did but actually, now I find it doesn’t.’
Barry’s eyes narrowed. ‘I’m not sure I believe you.’ Was this the same man who’d just given her flowers? Not only did his voice sound completely different, but his angry face looked like that of a stranger.
‘In fact,’ he continued, ‘I’m not really sure I believe your story about not finding your husband after your marriage split. It sounds suspiciously to me like you still feel something for him, and that’s why you didn’t look hard enough in case he rejected you. This way, you still had some hope.’
A few weeks ago, he might have been correct. Yet now, as he blustered on, and some of the mums helping backstage looked at them with undisguised curiosity, she felt different. ‘There’s nothing between us now.’
‘Then take it off.’ Barry’s eyes were flashing. ‘If it doesn’t mean anything to you, take it off and wear something else.’
A voice called out from the wings. ‘Two minutes until curtain up, Gemma.’
‘I can’t,’ she whispered. ‘There isn’t time.’
‘Can’t or won’t?’
‘Both.’ As she spoke, Gemma felt her chest lighten as though someone had just burst a huge balloon inside it, allowing her to breathe again. ‘I’ve got to be honest, Barry. I don’t like being told what to do, and you don’t like it when other people don’t do as you think they should.’ Gently, she eased his ring off her finger. ‘I think you’d better have this back. I’m sorry, but you’ll thank me in the long run.’
‘Gemma! Thirty seconds.’
Feeling amazingly calm, she stepped out towards the curtain just as it was drawn back. In front of her was a sea of faces, and there in the middle of the second row were Sam, Nancy and Danny, staring at her as if they had seen magic, pure magic.
‘Welcome to the Puddleducks nativity play,’ she said. And as she spoke, she could see a tall, lean man with a short army haircut make his way up the side of the hall and out through the back door of her life.