Chapter 6
The Molecule, the device that was going to make or break this whole company, was not behaving.
I adjusted the sequencing in the script to allow for a smoother transition out of the vibration events so that it would work perfectly, but something was happening internally that caused about a third of a second lag at the end of the loop, which caused the device to buzz out of sync for the first couple seconds of the cycle.
Would this matter to a person who was shuddering in pleasure as the Molecule blew their mind? Absolutely not. But it did matter to me.
I thought being the sole engineer and product designer here was going to be liberating. I would be my own boss, and Kim pretty much let me do what I needed to do with an unlimited budget. It was, abstractly, the dream. But I had no idea it would be so isolating and lonely.
The places I’d worked before, where I wasn’t designing my dream objects to place inside any willing orifice, they had mostly sucked, but I had people to complain about said sucking with.
Now, when something wasn’t working out, or I just couldn’t figure out why this fucking motor was not accepting inputs in the right order, I was all by myself.
Of course I could complain about it to Vi or Kim, but they would only understand it in the abstract.
It took a specific kind of engineering brain to understand why the hell I was getting so goddamn upset over a little bit of jankiness.
I put the Molecule down on the workbench and stood up, looking out into the night, over the hills wreathed in low clouds and just the slightest layer of city grit.
Kim really had picked out a hell of a place here, even if I spent most of my time here looking at a monitor or through a magnifying glass.
I let myself breathe, tried to separate my frustration from my brain, but it hung around.
I’ve never been great at releasing tension until it was too late, and it looked like this bout of frustration wasn’t going to be any different.
That kind of ability to hold things in far beyond logic or comfort was…
not the worst trait to have in a lot of my extracurricular activities, but it did make day-to-day life a hell of a lot harder sometimes.
I shut down my computer and tossed the malignant Molecule prototype into a bin so I wouldn’t need to look at it for a while. I needed separation.
It was well into the night now, and I’m sure Vi was wondering where I was.
That, or she knew I was deep into a project and she was deep into Yara or Wendy.
That’s how frustrated I was by this damn thing, I wasn’t even getting excited fantasizing about the wonderful sex my girlfriend and friends were having.
I walked through the massive open expanse of the building, the lights glowing a dull orange except for the kitchen and vending area, which looked like an oasis in the somewhat ominous dusk of the rest of the space.
We had started this company less than three months ago, and I was already pulling the all-nighters I swore I’d left in my past. I had experience and a track record now.
I didn’t have to prove shit to anybody, but I always had to prove myself to…
myself, I guess. I didn’t need to work this tirelessly, but something told me if I didn’t, I’d be discovered as the fraud I was.
That’s a fucked-up thing to think when I had nothing to hide, and I basically couldn’t be fired from this place, but, my brain didn’t care about any of those calm, rational things that proved that I had nothing to worry about.
No, I had to behave as if I was always on the knife’s edge, one dumb thing away from being cut loose by a company I more or less owned and that was run by a woman who would move mountains for me.
Maybe literally. God, Kim’s thighs were magnificent.
There’s the horny, carefree Emma we liked…if only for a second.
I pulled a canned coffee out of the fridge along with a Greek yogurt.
It was pretty cool that I could give Kim a long list of my comfort foods and she just made sure they were constantly stocked, no questions.
I’m sure she knew it was good business to cater to the fickle or utterly inflexible taste of autistic engineers in order to keep them happy and productive, but it was also just a really nice thing to do.
As I ate the yogurt…pistachio crunch, which I alternated between with strawberry cheesecake, I leaned against the counter, looking back at the rest of the building.
I had half a thought to take my phone out and pull it out of its hours-long do not disturb slumber, but I couldn’t really handle the idea of being inundated with messages of how much fun my girlfriend and everyone was having tonight.
If I did, I would just respond in the group chat with something that would sound negative or annoyed, and I didn’t want to put a downer on everyone else’s night.
Imagine having anything other than a positive reaction to another entry in the series of absolutely perfect selfies of Yara topless. Why would I want to ruin that joy?
I tossed the yogurt container in the trash and pushed off of the counter, then I noticed that I wasn’t the only person toiling away in the building long after I should have been.
Maybe some of the reason Kim took to me so quickly was she knew a workaholic when she saw one.
For a long time, I thought her drive came from a different, more noble place than mine, and that I was just outrunning the nagging voice in my head that said I would be a failure, but the more I talked with her, especially as our relationship became far more intimate, I discovered that this need originated from the same place, Kim was just a hell of a lot better at covering it up and putting on a happy face.
Because my office only held things I didn’t want to deal with right now, I diverted my course and went toward Kim’s.
When I passed in front of the window, something about seeing the sudden presence of a sullen-looking woman in a grey hoodie with curls she hadn’t brushed in a week seemed to startle her.
My ability to look like a ghoul when I wasn’t feeling my most confident was well-documented, mostly by Vi saying “dear fuck, Emma, where did you come from?” when I appeared in our living room.
To my credit, I had it down to only one or two occurrences a month at this point.
Now that I’d disturbed whatever Kim was doing, I took it as an invitation to come into her office, gliding in with the hope that Kim could supply another pep talk.
“Emma, why are you still here?” Kim said, her hand on her chest as she composed herself.
“I could ask you the same thing…” I said, sitting down in the plush chair across from Kim’s desk.
“Well, I’d tell you that I don’t really want to go back to my place, and these sales presentation slides aren’t going to create themselves…but you, you should be off with Vi and them, because…” Kim picked up her phone and shook it at me. “I don’t know if you’ve been watching…”
“I haven’t. ADHD, remember? If I look at it for one minute, I’m doomscrolling for an hour.
Or, I guess…hornyscrolling for two hours.
” I said, relaxing in the chair, getting some comfort from the difference in Kim’s energy compared to my internal monologue.
For as much as I liked being in my head, and I really did, it was relieving in a way to discover that not everybody in the world had my same obsessions or hang-ups.
I always assumed my problems were universal, but it turns out that there were a whole other set of problems everyone else was worrying about that didn’t even intersect with mine in the slightest.
“Right, yeah…well, when you catch up with the group chat, you’ll see Yara got Vi to try something new again…” Kim gave me a look like I would really enjoy whatever said thing was, and I have to admit the temptation was there, but I resisted.
“I’ll do it once I’ve figured out a logic loop in the Molecule, it’s still giving me so many problems.” I said.
“What? We approved the beta Molecule firmware last week, it passed all the checks, it’s…fine!” Kim waved her hands, trying to dismiss my worry. “People are going to love it.”
“It’s shippable. But, it’s not perfect.” I said.
“Em, your perfect and the average person’s perfect are worlds apart, girl. You know that and I know that.” Kim gave me a reassuring smile.
“I know, just…” I rolled my eyes. It always bugged me when someone told me something I’d told myself and was able to dismiss, because I actually had to listen to it now. “I want this to be as good as it can be, Kim. There’s a lot riding on this.”
“There is, but…” Kim stood up, her suit still looking impeccably pressed and perfect, even if she’d been wearing it for twelve hours at this point.
She walked behind me and put her hands on my shoulders, squeezing them in a move that instantly melted me more into the chair than I already was.
“Remember that it’s not all riding on you.
You aren’t this whole company, and you making one mistake or omission isn’t going to make it all fall apart. ”
“I know…” I groaned. Because I did know that, but my brain wouldn’t let me believe it.
What was a lot more easy to believe is how fucking incredible Kim’s hands felt on my body.
“You talk a hard game, but, you’re pretty easy to distract…” Kim let her hands wander down from my shoulders and to my chest, teasing me slightly.
“And you definitely have a bit of an advantage over my old bosses in the things you can do to distract me.” I said, allowing the touch to let my mind loosen up.
“And, listen…you need a vacation. You’re going to work yourself into dust if you don’t relax a little.”
“You and Vi, the vacation stuff…” I said.
“Yeah, almost like we talk, and almost like we want the best for you. Just a weekend, Em, like…the weekend that’s going to start tomorrow once I make you leave the office early?” Kim said with a confident and chipper tone.
“I don’t even…ok, I’ll try to figure out where to go. Because it’s easier to do that than to have you and Vi on me about it for the next forever.” I said.
“Good girl…” Kim said, the tone in the room changing dramatically in an instant.
Oh, she was good. Kim reached for the zipper on my hoodie and pulled it down about halfway, exposing my tank top and a broad swathe of my chest. “Well, I really do have to have these presentation slides ready for the Australian investors ready within the next couple of hours, so, I can’t distract you much, but…
” Kim slid her hands down the front of my tank top and under my bra, her delicate, well-manicured nails scraping along my breasts, giving me that little bit of sharpness and edge that Kim knew would make sure I didn’t worry about anything more for a while.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as her fingers slid over my nipples, giving me relief that I didn’t even know was possible right now.
Even if Kim had only been doing things with women for less than a year at this point, she had already learned some expert-level techniques, and I was in awe and appreciation of her being such a quick study.
“Mmm…don’t…fuck, don’t stop.” I said, leaning to the side and kissing Kim’s forearm as she continued to soothe me.
“Like I said, I have to stop, but…how about this. Do I have your full attention?” Kim twisted my left nipple hard, the pain giving me some clarity.
“You have…whatever the fuck you need from me.” I gasped, my body craving Kim’s touch.
“In about ten seconds, I’m going to stop touching you.
And then you’re going to leave my office and the building, and go home to your absolutely loving girlfriend, who probably wants to see you for at least a few minutes tonight.
” Kim leaned down and kissed my ear, her fluffy curls brushing my cheek and neck.
“And then, tomorrow night, you’re going to have me test that Molecule that’s been giving you so many goddamn problems, and I’ll show you just how well it works when it’s inside a woman that needs her pussy pleased, and that you don’t need to worry about perfection when it’s making me come so hard, got it?
” She licked the rim of my ear before pulling her hands out of my shirt and sauntering back to her desk.
“And with that proven, you’re going to go with Vi on a weekend trip, maybe visit a friend or two…
hell, take a long weekend. I want you to not come back for at least five days.
I also, now that I know you’re pliable, am going to tell you that I’ve hired someone to assist you, and she’ll be here after your vacation. ”
I stared at Kim, my body now buzzing. She had, once again, worked her magic…
and the frustrating part of it was, she had also given me a good bit of advice about self-doubt in a way she knew I’d respond to.
Sometimes I saw myself as so unknowable, but then I would always later realize that people like Kim could read me like a horny, frustrated book… and I loved them for it.
“I’m going to go back to my office and get off before I leave.” I said.
“It’s almost dangerous to advise you to drive after how worked up I just got you, so…be safe…” Kim turned back to her computer, acting as if nothing at all had happened. I fucking loved her so much.