Chapter 18
“Don’t be shy, ladies, you know the menu is open to you when you’re here.” Wendy was briefly distracted by a very nervous sous chef asking her a question while Vi and me perused the extensive but refined menu at The Fisherman’s Wife.
“I’m actually really, really hungry, so I’ll take you up on that.” I said. “What are you getting?” I looked to Vi, and she very clearly knew I was asking this because I was going to sample whatever she got.
“What are you getting?” She smirked.
“I don’t know…pasta sounds good.”
“Mmm…yeah” Vi’s eyes lit up, “then I guess for me, it’s cacio e pepe if we’re doing pasta.”
Wendy walked up to our booth and put a plate of at least ten kinds of seafood down, sliding it toward me and Vi. “Hope you don’t mind the extra bits…” she smiled, sitting in the booth with us.
“I love the extra bits…actually, all bits, really…big fan of bits.” Vi said.
“Yeah you are…” I knocked my knee against hers in reaction to the groan-worthy pun. I didn’t go for them much, but…come on, when it’s right there…
“Oh you’re talking about my pussy, aren’t you, Vi? How subtle.” Wendy said with a wry smile before sitting in the booth with us. She grabbed a ring of calamari and twirled it on her finger before biting into the golden brown ring.
“Is there a time I’m not talking about a pussy in some degree?” Vi said, sipping on her gin and tonic.
“No.” Wendy and I answered in unison, prompting laughs from all of us.
“So, Em…Vi told me about the new girl at the office, and how you want to fuck her…”
“I…” I rolled my eyes and stuffed a scallop into my mouth, hoping it would give me time to evade the answer while I was chewing, but Wendy had prepared these so well that it literally melted in my mouth.
Damn, the downside of knowing a Michelin-starred chef.
“I’m not going to say no, but…she’s making herself pretty damn irresistible.
I can’t sleep with everyone I work with, even if the vibe at Pallas is…
” I smiled, catching myself in the dumb pun I made, “accommodating.”
“She’s flirting with Emma harder than I do.” Vi said.
“Really…I’m pretty convinced that’s not possible, but, you’d be the expert on it.”
“I would,” Vi speared a shrimp with her fork and lifted it to her mouth, still speaking as she did so, “if she’d let me meet her, which she hasn’t.”
“Emma…” Wendy said, looking up at me, her cheery and bright expression flashing to pity in an instant. “Why do you want to deny your loving, caring, very hot girlfriend the chance to see this woman who clearly wants to fuck you so much, and you can barely resist?”
“Fine…” I groaned. “I’ll see what I can do. Maybe Vi will find something super irritating about her and point it out so I can’t un-see it.”
“Not gonna happen.” Vi grinned. “I haven’t pointed those things out on you yet, so why would I do it for someone else?”
“What…no, I’m absolutely flawless.” I said, tossing my hair over my shoulder in a dramatic flourish.
“Yeah, and humble…” Wendy giggled. A moment later, a rather scared looking waiter approached the table with a tray loaded with our food.
It was always so funny to me how people could see Wendy as threatening or even marginally scary, because she was easily the sweetest person I knew.
And, when she was being mean, she was so damn desirable that it was still tough to look at her with fear in my eyes.
“This all looks so amazing…” Vi’s eyes widened as she took it all in. She was right, dining at places Wendy headed up was a life-altering experience, and we were beyond lucky to get to do it so often.
“Thank you Saoirse,” Wendy said, and the waiter looked like she had just been told she had won an Oscar, she lit up so much at Wendy’s attention. Damn, Wendy must have had these people on a short leash. Maybe I should apply.
Saoirse put the tray on the edge of the table, her movements measured and only al little bit terrified. She handed my plate to me and I whispered a “thank you” in fear of spooking the poor girl.
“Oh, Wendy…while this is all cooling off, do you want to talk about…that thing?”
“What thing?” Wendy said, studying Saoirse’s movements carefully, “Oh…that thing…yeah, absolutely.” She smirked.
“What thing?” I said, “why are you two being so cagey? Are you going to go…” I looked back and forth, seeing that Saoirse was still at the table, so I decided that I probably shouldn’t ask Wendy and Vi if they were going off to have sex, but it was clear they both knew exactly what I meant.”
“Yeah, maybe…the day’s still young…” Wendy trailed her fingertips up Vi’s arm as my girlfriend shuffled her way out of the booth.
I, of course, wanted to join them, but, somebody had to keep Saoirse company.
“Are you, I mean, doing alright?” I said.
“How can you be so friendly with her?” The waiter said, finally removing the last plate from the tray. “She scares the shit out of me.”
I shrugged, “Guess I’ve just spent a lot of time and have…done a lot of things with her.” I held it for a beat. “She’s a real sweetheart if you get to know her, trust me.”
“Now that is hilarious.” Saoirse let the tray hang slack at her side. “And her wife, she’s twice as scary.”
“That’s something I can completely agree with.” I said. “Don’t worry, Saoirse, I’ll put a good word in for you with the incredibly intimidating Wendy. And Brenda too.”
“Thanks.” Saoirse smiled and turned on her heel, darting back toward the kitchen.
I was nearly able to dig in to my ravioli when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Assuming it was Vi and Wendy telling me that I could join them, of course I pulled it out.
But it wasn’t Vi and Wendy, it was my new preoccupation.
Hey! What’s up?
Hi, Nina…it’s a Saturday, you don’t need to worry about work right now, we don’t do crunch at Pallas
I know that, I just wanted to see how you and Vi were doing I’m just being friendly!!
Clearly she was. And…OK, maybe it was nice to have someone randomly chat with me out of the blue sometimes.
It did make me feel…exceedingly special.
Of course the other women in our little collective polycule emailed me all the time, but Nina was new, and…
ok, I was starting to obsess over her a little, wasn’t I?
We’re good, out to lunch with a friend.
Look at me, using emoji. It’s a whole new world.
Yum! I bet Vi is super fun to eat out with.
Yes, absolutely.
It took everything in my power to not push that further and make the very obvious joke.
Actually, speaking of eating out with Vi, I thought maybe we could all hang out. I’ve talked about her, but, you seem so eager to meet her that I feel like I have to make it happen.
Really!?!? I mean, she’s not irritated about the new girl at work that you probably can’t stop talking about?
I have not mentioned you to her much
Yes, of course it was a lie, but, I wanted to seem mysterious, at least for a little longer.
Well, start mentioning me so she’s excited to meet me! How about some time next week, I know an amazing coffee shop on Ventura that makes the most spectacular matcha lattes
You’ve been here for two weeks, how do you already have favorite spots?
I have also yet to go grocery shopping, so, you learn good places quickly.
I was going to reply, but as I did, I saw Vi and Wendy coming back from outside. Even though very open relationships are sort of my entire thing, I felt a pang of panic at their sudden presence, like talking to Nina was something…wrong. This woman was doing very strange things to my mind.
“God, I am…hungry.” Vi smoothed her skirt over her legs as she shuffled into the booth next to me.
“You two work up an appetite?” My shoulder collided with Vi’s as she settled in.
“What?” Wendy pulled a napkin off of the table to dab at a stray spot of sauce on one of the plates. “They fucked up the pesto drizzle again. I gave them a diagram.”
“You two…just fucked, right?” I narrowed my eyes, analyzing them, noticing a distinct lack of blush in their faces. “That’s why you ran off suddenly?” Hey, maybe even Vi and Wendy were capable of disappointing sex. Very unlikely based on my experience, but, possible.
“Oh, uh…” Vi laughed nervously. “Yeah, totally.” She pulled her plate close to her chest. “Was it good for you, babe?” Vi tousled Wendy’s hair.
“Yeah, uh…absolutely amazing. Five stars.”
Wendy is so kind of a person that she is basically incapable of lying without totally giving it away, but I was so hungry that I decided to give up on investigating this…for now.