13. Raven
RAVEN
It’s nine a.m. when Bella rings my doorbell. Her arms are full, and I step aside so she can enter. “Need a hand?”
“I got it! Just point me in the right direction.”
We get settled at the kitchen table since it’ll give us the most room to work.
“Thank you for helping with this. I looked everywhere online, but Jonah didn’t like any of the costumes.”
“No worries. I love making costumes. Aunt Delilah taught me how to sew a few years ago, and I’ve been hooked ever since.”
A loud crash sounds from above, and Bella lets out a squeak. “What was that?”
“It’s just Jonah on his crash pad. It sounds louder since the sound carries worse in this house.”
“Oh. Speaking of houses, how do you have all these extra houses hanging around?”
I let out a sigh. “I suppose it’s time I come clean about a few things.”
“If it’s that Summer is your favorite, we already know.”
Bella has a way of putting me at ease with her humor.
She’s one of the kindest yet most perverted people I know.
“When Kris passed, he left me several properties, including the beach house, the property that RJ and Summer are living in, the house I should be in if it weren’t for that fucking candle, and this fixer-upper.
I’m sorry I never told you any of this but—”
“But you didn’t want anyone to fuss over you in any capacity, so you kept it all in, and now you feel like a bottle of soda that someone shook up that’s ready to burst at the lightest bit of pressure.”
I blink at her, surprised at her perceptiveness. “How did you do that?”
“I’m a witch.” She grins, and I chuckle.
“I know you. I see you. You have the biggest heart, even if you don’t want people to know.
And I don’t care about any of that. You could have told me that Kris was an alien from Mars and you faked his death so he could return to his home planet, and I would have supported you.
I mean, I’d have questions, but I’d support you. ”
She leans on her arms across the table. “You and Kris always seemed so happy. I was thrilled you found someone who brought you so much joy. I don’t care what you were doing behind closed doors. But I’ve also seen how much you’ve retreated since he passed, and I just want to see you happy again.”
I should tell her everything and admit that I’m also a secret romance novelist. For years I’ve been pretending to be annoyed or grossed out by their love of romance books, when I was secretly taking notes. They had unknowingly become my target reader group.
I know they’d accept this part of me, but I’ve held on to this secret for so long because it was my way of processing my emotions. Only RJ knows.
“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.” Bella’s voice startles me, pulling me from my thoughts. “Also, why does your life sound like the plot to a book?”
Oh, if she only knew.
“So Halloween costumes—” I’m interrupted by giggling from upstairs, and I look up at the ceiling wistfully.
“Sounds like they’re having fun up there.”
“Yeah. Sorry. Sometimes I swear I can hear Kris’s voice when I hear them laughing like that.” I swallow down the sob that wants to come out. I’m strong. I have to be strong. I’m Raven fucking Hawthorne. “Where was I?”
“Inflatable cocks.”
“Bella, we talked about this. You can’t call it that in front of the kids.”
“It’s fine. They’re upstairs.” She bends down, pulling something out of one of her comically overstuffed bags. “I found this. It’s an adult-sized inflatable rooster costume.”
“He’s eight. That’ll never fit him.”
“Actually, I think it’ll be a close fit. This is the kind where the adult stands in the middle of it, so it looks like he’s riding the cock.”
“Do you hear yourself?” I shake my head.
She laughs. “Okay, that was unintentional, I swear.” I shoot her a dubious glance.
“It’s a ride-on rooster. But I can sew up the hole in the middle—nope.
” She snickers. “That’s not any better. So I can adapt this so he can be inside the rooster part and get rid of the ride-on part on the back.
Then it’ll look just like a rooster. And since I know the air blower is loud and will trigger his sensory issues, I can stuff this one with batting so he’ll be a giant stuffed animal. ”
“Thank you. Sorry this is such a weird request. You know how he gets when he hyperfixates on something, and right now chickens, mainly roosters, are his current obsession. He’s trying to convince me to get some actual ones for the yard.”
“I know how it is. And trust me, this isn’t the weirdest Halloween costume I’ve seen on a kid. And since we’re starting early, I’ll have plenty of time to make it.”
It’s a chore to get Jonah to cooperate for measurements, but once Bella has everything she needs, I walk her to the door right as someone knocks. Fuck. I was hoping to usher her out of here before he showed up.
Before I can stop her, Bella opens the door. “Chief Sawyer, what a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?” Her tone is off, like she knows why he’s here but she’s pretending she doesn’t, and I narrow my eyes in suspicion.
He looks at his watch, then me. “You said ten, right?”
“I did, and it’s ten after. Do you know how to tell time?”
“There’s my favorite ray of sunshine.”
The instant the words are out of his mouth, I know I’m fucked. Bella will never let this go. I spin and narrow my gaze on her, holding up a finger. “Don’t you da—”
“Oh. My. God!”
“What am I missing?” Sawyer asks.
“He calls you his ray of sunshine? So not only did you get the longest fucking nickname out of all of us, it’s ironic too? This is too perfect!”
Before I can object, Bella pulls me into a hug. I love Bella, but I’m not a fan of PDA or any kind of touching, so I stand there awkwardly patting her back. “Can we not?”
Bella continues as if I didn’t say anything, releasing me from the hug. “This purse is cute. Is it new?” She picks up the bag off the table next to the door and examines it closely, enamored with it.
I’m confused by her change in topic. “Uh, no, it’s old.”
She sets it down and looks at Sawyer. “How are the kids?”
I eye them suspiciously before I remember that Bella has taught both of his kids since she’s the only kindergarten teacher in our small town.
“They’re great. I was supposed to have them today, but they’re going to a birthday party for someone in Jocelyn’s family, so she’s keeping them. I’m gonna pick them up later tonight.”
“Well, I’ll get out of your hair. Let me load up all my stuff, and then I’ll grab Jonah and McKenna, and we’ll leave you two to it.” Bella backs away quickly, gathering up her craft bags and practically sprinting towards the door.
Ten minutes later, she’s backing out of the driveway while Sawyer and I stand there like we’re posing for the American Gothic painting, minus the pitchfork.
“That was weird,” Sawyer says.
“That was Bella.”
“So where are we starting this morning, sunshine?”
“I’m going to stop you right there, sunshine. My name is Raven.”
“You’re right. I’ll find one that fits you better.” He grins like my thorns don’t prick him, and I turn, motioning for him to follow me upstairs so we can get to work.
——————
It’s early evening when I return from a trip to pick up more primer and grab food. Sawyer finished installing carpet in most of the upstairs bedrooms, so we decided to paint. He insisted we would only prime the walls since he’d promised Jonah they’d paint together.
I walk back into the guest bedroom and toss Sawyer a sandwich as I set my purse by the door.
We eat in silence. Every now and then I glance over at him, and I’m in awe of how silently he’s chewing, unnerved at how it’s turning me on.
Misophonia is surprisingly common among individuals on the spectrum, and it’s one of many clues that I am just like Jonah.
It’s a weird thing to be hung up on, but I literally feel rage at the sound of loud chewing, and the fact that Sawyer’s eating so silently has my panties dampening.
I just need to schedule some self-care. This renovation has fucked with my schedule. That’s all.
Once we finish dinner, we resume painting.
Sawyer bends, dips his roller, and then strokes up and down the wall.
The muscles in his back flex with the move, and I stare, mesmerized.
I’ve never been attracted to back muscles before, and I shake my head, clearing the lust, determined not to let this man get under my skin.
I grab a paintbrush and cross to the corner of the room, plopping onto the ground as I methodically paint the baseboards.
Several minutes go by when I hear a faint sound. “What’s that noise?”
“I don’t hear anything.”
“It’s like a buzzing. You don’t hear it?” My phone is in my pocket, but I check it anyway. “Is your phone ringing?”
“Don’t think so, but it’s in my pocket if you want to check for yourself.”
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
“I absolutely would.” His back is to me, but the grin in his voice is evident.
“Does this relentless flirting work with most women?”
“Dunno. I don’t flirt with most women. Why? Is it working?”
“No, it’s not.” It’s an effort to hide my smile, but I manage.
“Mm-hmm.”
Rolling my eyes at his ridiculousness, I dip my brush into the paint.
“Wait, I hear something too.”
“It sounds like a buzzing, right?” I set my brush in the pan as I walk closer to the door.
“Yeah, but it’s faint.”
The sound gets louder at his words, and he locks eyes with me. “Nope. Don’t say it.”
“Ghosts?”
“There’s a logical explanation. Could it be faulty wiring?”
“Unlikely.” He sets his roller down and turns to face me.
I walk over to the light switch and flip it off, plunging the room into darkness. The buzzing gets louder.
“What the fuck, Raven?” he shouts over several loud bangs. “Shit. Shit!”
Suddenly there’s a hand squeezing my breast, and I flick the light on. Sawyer’s inches from me, his large palm covering my breast. I look down, and that’s when I notice his hand is covered in paint.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. That was an accident. I swear. It was dark, and I couldn’t see. I didn’t mean to… fuck.”