17. Raven
RAVEN
Bella: Raven, what’s going on with Sawyer?
Me: What are you talking about?
Lucy: Mike left in a hurry too. He said the chief needed help.
Bella: Oh no! Is he okay? Are the kids okay?
Summer: RJ texted me an update a few minutes ago. Raven, what did you do to the poor man?
Iscratch my head. How do they already know? Did he tell someone? Fuck, I’m going to have to give up something to get them off my back.
Me: Not that it’s any of your business, but we were sexting earlier.
Bella: I’m sorry, what?
Lucy: *blinks slowly*
Summer: Then how did he get his penis stuck in a titanium cock ring? RJ said it took 4 of them to cut him out of it.
Bella:
Lucy: I’m trying my best not to laugh, but damn that shit’s funny.
Me: Fucking small towns.
Bella: I knew it!
Summer: Is he okay?
Me: I just left his house. He’s fine. I won’t elaborate.
Summer: So I guess you two are official now?
Bella: Someone owes me money. Two someones.
Me: What was this bet?
Lucy: Bella bet you two would be together before you turned 40.
I smile to myself as they keep lighting up the DMs. We started placing bets when Bella met Hardy, trying to figure out when they’d finally admit they were together. Those bets continued with everyone in the group, so it’s only fitting they’d place bets on me, the last single one standing.
Bella: Sometimes when Hardy is on call and I’m lonely, I’ll eat a Snickers upside down so I can feel the veins on my tongue.
Summer: That’s an inside thought, Bella.
Me: I look away from the group chat for a few minutes and this is what I come back to?
Bella: Summer asked what kind of candy I liked.
Lucy: Yeah, but she didn’t need to know all that. Lol
Bella: What? There’s no such thing as TMI between friends.
Lucy: True.
Summer: Speaking of candy, what are we doing for Halloween this year?
Bella: Fucking Halloween!
Lucy: Agreed.
Summer: I thought you liked Halloween.
Bella: In theory I do. In my classroom I don’t.
Lucy: When my little goblins are hopped up on sugar and destroying my house? Hard pass.
Bella: Oh, Raven, I’m almost done with Jonah’s costume!
Summer: What’s he dressing up as?
Me: A rooster.
Bella: A cock.
Me: Rooster.
Bella: COCK!
Bella: Does anyone else think it’s funny that cock sounds like the noise a cock makes?
Bella: [sends voice memo of rooster noises.]
Me:
Summer: Bella. That’s not appropriate. He’s only 8!
Bella: You know I’d never make these jokes in front of him. This is my only outlet to get it out. Don’t rob me of this.
Lucy: It’s true. This DM is like her filter.
Me: I’ll allow it.
Summer: So are we going trick or treating together?
Lucy: I’m in, but we may call it an early night.
Bella: I’m in!
Me: I should probably check with Sawyer. Since he’s been spending so much time over here with his kids, mine will probably want to hang out with them.
Bella: I’m so winning this bet!
My phone lights up with an incoming FaceTime call from Summer, and I swipe to answer it.
“Oh my gosh,” she squeals, and I roll my eyes, already knowing what’s coming. “Is it official? Because if it’s not, I still have a chance to win this bet.”
I look off-screen, refusing to meet her gaze. “I don’t know what it is.”
“But you know what you want it to be?”
“He makes me feel out of control,” I admit.
“How does he make you feel out of control?”
“My pulse races and none of my normal tricks work to calm it,” I say, finally looking at the screen.
Summer smiles. It’s warm and not the least bit condescending, yet I still feel patronized.
“How did this happen?”
“Well, you two have been spending a lot of time around each other.”
Forced proximity?
“And you act like you hate each other, but your banter is off the charts.”
Enemies to lovers?
“His playful energy is a nice balance to your pragmatic demeanor.”
Opposites attract or black cat/golden retriever?
Summer gives me a quizzical look. Does she know I’m plotting in my head?
I understand plot structure and tropes; I’ve written enough books.
If I can pinpoint ours, maybe I can figure out what’s happening and how it’ll play out, then weigh all the risks to decide if it’s worth pursuing.
Clearly we have sexual chemistry, but that’s only one part of the equation.
I can’t admit any of this to Summer, though. Not without blowing my cover.
“It almost sounds like a plot to an Ayana Cox book,” she says. There’s something in her tone that makes my hackles rise.
I glance at the screen, looking for clues. “That romance author you guys read?” I ask, deflecting.
She sighs. “Yeah.”
My mind drifts as I think through what to say.
I’ve fought to get where I am today, worked my way up at the newspaper, in the publishing world.
With the number of secrets I’m keeping, I struggle to let people in.
Mastering the art of deflection was necessary.
You can’t be rejected if you’ve already walked away.
But sometimes the burden is too much, and I’m getting tired of running. I have a wonderful group of friends, and I know they’d accept this part of me. Hell, they’d be thrilled to learn that I was their favorite romance author. I’m just not sure I’m ready to share this piece of myself yet.
“So about McKenna’s birthday party,” Summer says, changing the subject. “I’ve got everything planned. Lana has been really helpful in getting ideas from her.”
“Thank you for doing that. I feel bad pawning it off on you. I should be doing it for her, but I feel like I’m dropping the ball with her, and with Jonah. Hell, with work too. If I’m doing well in one area, I’m probably failing at another.”
Summer smiles. “That’s what friends are for. And I totally get it. It was hard managing three kids on my own.”
I’m filled with warmth as I stare at her on the screen. “I’m glad our kids get along.”
“Me too. It would really suck if they didn’t.”
“You know you’d be stuck with me either way. Nothing would stop me from being your friend.”
A curious smile lights up her face. “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”
My brow furrows. “Why’s that? Are you planning on getting me back for tricking you into dating my brother?”
“Only if things didn’t work out and I needed revenge.” She flashes me an evil smile. Well, as evil as Summer can be, which is barely menacing.
“I don’t see that happening. RJ is obsessed with you. You two are stupidly cute.”
“So are you and Sawyer.”
I roll my eyes. “I know what you’re doing.”
“What am I doing?” Her tone conveys the innocence I see through. “I think he could be good for you, and you already said his touch affects you. This is huge. I know touch is tricky for you, but his touch isn’t.”
“But there’s more to it than touch. There’re kids, his and mine. This whole ridiculous house renovation, and all the weird things that keep happening with it—”
“What weird things?”
“Mom!” a voice calls from off-screen.
“What, Logan?” Summer answers.
“There’s a package on the porch!”
Summer’s brow furrows. “I’m not expecting anything. Who is it from?”
“. It’s addressed to me. Can I open it?”
“Sure. I wonder how long that’s been sitting out there? Then you have to get to bed. It’s late.”
“It’s only nine,” Logan whines. I hear him tear into the package, and then he pops onto the screen, holding up a book and grinning ear to ear. “Thank you for the new book, Auntie Raven!”
“Did you get Logan a book on all the different types of animal poop?”
“This is so cool, Mom!”
She forces a smile as Logan flips through the pages. “Okay, kiddo. Go brush your teeth. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Night, Auntie Raven,” Logan chirps, putting his face too close to the camera as he pretends to kiss it.
“Night, kid. Enjoy your poop book.”
Once he’s gone, she narrows her eyes at me. “Seriously?”
“It’s educational.”
“Yeah, yeah. You know I can’t stay mad at you. Anyway, about McKenna’s party. It’ll be small. She wanted a sleepover with just a few friends. I invited the moms to stay for a little bit too; I figured it’d be fun.”
“And this is happening at my house?”
“Yup. Sawyer said he should have everything mostly finished by then.”
A lead weight settles in my gut at the thought of him being done with my renovation, of not seeing him every day. I think I like him a lot more than I’m willing to admit.
“Oh, you really do like him!”
“Shit, did I say that out loud?”
“You didn’t, but it’s written all over your face. You don’t want him to finish the project. The sad look on your face when I mentioned him being done spoke volumes.”
“He’s weaseled his way past my defenses.”
“It’s cute that you think you’re this huge meanie when you have the biggest heart. And you only tease the people you like, and from what I hear, you’ve been teasing him since you met him.”
“Am I that obvious? I thought I did a better job at masking.”
“Maybe to those that don’t know you as well as I do.”
Once we hang up, I scrub a hand down my face and groan. The cursor blinks on my screen as I stare at it impatiently, wishing my story would write itself. As much as I’m interested in exploring something with Sawyer, I need to stay focused on my deadline this week.