23. Raven
RAVEN
Ineed to get out of my head, to quiet all the loud thoughts and emotions. My pulse quickens as I try to hide the way I feel, but hiding from Sawyer is impossible.
“Are you nervous?”
A sharp breath escapes me as I sit back on my heels. “I’ve never done this with someone I care about before. Shit. Why did I say that out loud?” I pinch my lips together to stop anything else from spilling out of my mouth.
“You already admitted you loved me.” He pauses, searching my face. “But you’ve never made love to someone before, have you?”
Why is this so hard? Why can’t I get out of my head?
Why can’t I just admit how scared I am? How nerve-wracking it is to be this vulnerable with someone I love?
What if I do this and I lose him too? What if he leaves me?
Or he dies? This isn’t the time to have these thoughts, and I don’t want to scare him off, so I roll my eyes. “Fuck off.”
His hand shoots out, grabbing my neck. “Don’t roll your eyes when I’m talking to you, or I’ll light up that plump ass of yours. Is that clear?” His grip tightens, preventing me from nodding, forcing me to use my words.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Yes, Chief,” he corrects, tilting my head, forcing my eyes to his.
My eyes widen in shock, thrilled that he’s reading me, that he’s giving me what I need. “Yes, Chief.”
A wicked smile teases his lips. “Good girl.”
Oh fuck, I like that. Up until now, I’ve been in control, enjoying the way this big, burly man submits to me. But right now I need him to take charge over me and my pleasure.
He leans in close, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine like he can’t decide which one to focus on.
“You like being praised, huh? Can’t take a compliment to save your life, but throw a little good girl at you and you preen like a needy kitten.
Are you gonna put your claws away and behave for me? ”
“Yes, Chief.”
“Fuck, I like that more than I should. If I thought your comebacks made me hard, your obedience has me feral.” His cheek glides against mine, the slight stubble on his jaw and hairs of his mustache tickling me as they slowly drag along my skin. “Before we go any further, do you have a safe word?”
“Safe word is pumpkin. And I’ll let you know if I want you to stop. Right now, I just need to get out of my head.”
He nods in understanding. “Sit up on your knees and put your hands on my dick.”
I straighten, complying quickly. His hold on my neck tightens as he pulls my body flush with his.
The move traps my arms against his stomach, leaving little space for me to do anything but grip his dick.
He leans in close to my ear. “I know you don’t give this power lightly, that it takes a lot for you to trust someone like this.
I’m gonna do my best to get this right.”
A shuddering breath escapes me as I lean into him, grateful for the way his touch calms me.
“Tell me what you want.”
“I want your cock, the real thing, not the toy I’ve been pretending with.
I want you to fill me so completely that all I can think about is you inside of me, on top of me, behind me, surrounding me, consuming me.
You can say anything you want. Call me anything you want.
Use me how you want. I want you to punish me, make it hurt, and then heal me with your touch. ”
He hesitates, searching my face. “You want me to hit you?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. I’m not going to get into the science behind pain and pleasure receptors. Just know that I like the pain. I need it.”
“Is there anything off-limits? Any words I should avoid?”
“No. You can degrade me and praise me as you see fit.”
“You know how much I love you, right?”
“Astronauts in outer space know how much you love me.”
“But do you?” His eyes are earnest, pleading.
“Yes, moron.”
“Good, remember that.”
“Why?”
His eyes darken, and a smirk lights up half his face. “Because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.” His grip on my neck loosens, and he drops his hand. “Turn around, bend over, and present so I can punish that gorgeous ass.”
I crawl to the center of the bed and drop my head onto my forearms, keeping my ass in the air as I bare myself to him.
“Such an obedient slut. Look at how needy you are.” He trails a finger up my thigh, stopping once he gets to my pussy lips. “You’re dripping for me.”
His mouth is so close to my pussy, his warm breath a caress. Then he sinks his teeth into the flesh of my ass as I let out a needy whimper.
“So desperate. You’ll do anything to please me, won’t you?”
My heart leaps in my chest at how easily he gets it, knows what I need. “Yes, Chief.” I push my ass up in a silent plea for him to keep going.
“You’ll let me treat you like the filthy whore you are because you know I’m the only one who can grant you all the depraved desires you write about.”
“Only you, Chief.”
“Go get one of your books.”
My head pops up, and I look over my shoulder. “What?”
He brings his hand down on my ass. It barely stings, and he furrows his brow at my lackluster reaction.
The second strike is harder, and I bite my lips to hold in my moan.
Rough fingers grab my jaw, his grip punishing.
“Don’t do that. I earned that noise, and I want to hear every moan and whimper I draw out of you. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Chief.”
“Now, go get that book, then get back in position.” He slaps my ass again, this one harder, and I don’t hold back the yowl that escapes. “That’s it, that’s my spitfire.”
I crawl off the bed and prowl over to the closet, rifling through the shelves until I find an author copy of Hitched and Tied that I’d hidden in there. I set the book in front of me as I resume my position on the bed.
“Hold this pose until I say otherwise.”
“Yes, Chief.”
“Now be a good girl and open that book. I want you to read it out loud while I play.”
I’m rewarded with two hard spanks, one to each cheek, then one more against my pussy. He keeps his hand flush with my skin, using his palm to gather my wetness. I whine as I flip through the pages, looking for the perfect scene. “Need you nice and wet so I can lube my cock with your desperation.”
Oh fuck, I like that. I can feel myself growing wetter at his demand.
“That’s it, give it to me, Ray. Make a mess on my hand.”
I rub my center along the length of his palm.
He pulls back suddenly and groans. “Shit, it feels so good being covered in you.” The filthy sounds of him using my arousal as his own personal lube emanate from behind me, and I fight the urge to look.
He hasn’t given me permission, but I’m desperate to see him pump his cock.
“So good,” he groans. “Now start reading while I watch this needy cunt beg to be filled.”
“She was the most infuriatingly stubborn woman in existence. And I wanted nothing more than to be the man to break her like a new mare refusing a saddle. That, I had experience in; that was easy. I could read horses, knew what it took to get them comfortable with my touch, knew how to get them to trust me. But my wife was a different breed. She shouldn’t trust me.
Not if she knew all the filthy things I wanted to do to her.
All the debaucherous thoughts that clouded my judgement whenever she was near. ”
“Is that what you want?” He grips the hair at the base of my neck, gathering it in his fist as he yanks me back. “You want me to break you in? Make you bow down to me? Bend to my will?”
Yes, please. I don’t care how desperate I look or sound. I want him to own my body as if it belongs to him. “Yes, Chief.”
“Deepen your voice and keep reading.” He releases his hold on my hair, and I collapse forward onto my arms.
Does he have this scene memorized? How does he know that Weston speaks next?
I push down the warmth that revelation brings and drop my voice as I read.
“‘Tonight you’re my toy to play with. You’re here to serve me like a needy cumslut.
Like a good little bride. Just a hole for your husband to use and fill with his cum. Nothing more.’”
He brings his hand down on my ass hard, the loud crack reverberating through the room. “Oh, God.”
“That’s not my name, princess.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Pain blooms sharp and fast on my ass as he spanks me again.
“I’ll call you whatever I want. The only way I’ll stop is if you use that safe word.
” He pauses, waiting to see if I’ll give in.
“That’s what I thought. If you want me to top, then you will submit completely.
If you talk back again, I will punish you.
Is that clear, princess?” He spits the nickname like a challenge.
“Yes, Chief.”
“Keep reading.”
The fat tip of his cock rubs through my lips, thrusting in until it taps my clit. “‘Please fuck me. I need my husband’s cum,’ Ariana cried, her voice thick with need.”
Sawyer’s hands grab my hips as he nudges my thighs together, and I try to concentrate on the words in front of me. “Fuck if I’d deny my wife anything when she begs so beautifully for me.”
His hips snap forward, his cock sliding through my closed legs, lighting up every nerve in its path as he teases me. “‘Beg me to fuck you, wife. Beg me to fill you. Beg me to break you, Ari.’” I abandon the page, focusing on my thighs and how the tip of his cock emerges with each thrust.
“Beg for it, Raven.”
“Please,” I whimper. The friction he’s creating as he fucks between my thighs, the flared head of his cock rubbing against my overly sensitive clit, is so good I feel like I’m about to come. I’m afraid to beg any louder. Afraid he’ll stop and deny me the orgasm almost in reach.
“You’re so close, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I rasp.
“Good. That’s exactly how I want you.” He pushes in once more, then pauses as he digs his fingertips into my hips.
“Once I’m done with you, I want you to look at the marks I leave on your skin and remember that I’m the only one worthy of giving them to you, of giving you what you need. The only one you’ll surrender to.”