24. Sawyer
SAWYER
Raven’s house is haunted. That’s the only thing that makes sense. I knew I shouldn’t have torn out that wall. Thank God I haven’t touched those dick windows. Who knows what kind of chaos that could cause?
Raven thought it was me pranking her, but I had nothing to do with it.
She accused me of writing the words on the mirror.
When I denied it, she waved it off, saying one of the kids could’ve done it days ago and it just appeared in the steam.
I suppose that’s possible, but why would they do that?
She thinks I’m nuts, but I know it’s a ghost.
The next week passes in a blur, but I manage to make progress on all my unfinished projects at the house, including my secret ones.
Since Raven’s on a deadline, her focus is scattered, but she’s still managed to help me stay on track, reminding me to set alarms on my phone and hanging a calendar in her kitchen as a visual reminder of all the tasks I need to complete around the house.
It’s also color-coded to include the kids’ activities, hers, and mine.
And I need the reminder since things have been getting more hectic around the station as we approach the dry season. We’ve had a few wildfires in the area the past several years, and with the lack of precipitation this year, we might be headed for a busy winter.
I finally finished the flooring on the main floor, having secured and painted all the baseboards.
After I wash my brush in the laundry room utility sink, I stroll over to Raven’s desk, ready to stir up trouble.
It’s hard not to stare at this woman as she types furiously on her keyboard, her brow furrowed in concentration. “You know what’d be fun?”
Raven’s eyes never leave her screen. “If I could make this deadline?”
“Newspaper or book?”
“Huh?”
“Which one are you working on?”
“Book.”
When she doesn’t offer more, I know she’s in the zone, so I sneak upstairs to work on my secret project in McKenna’s room.
She wanted a bed with a built-in desk and bookshelf.
I found an old wooden bunk bed that Blaze’s niece was getting rid of, and it only took two days to transform it for her.
I timed it just right, too. RJ helped me sneak it in while Raven was at the newspaper.
It lined up with Jocelyn’s night with the kids and her weekend, and I was able to distract Raven at bedtime so she didn’t see what I was up to.
I’m adding the finishing coat of paint when the door snicks open, and McKenna’s face appears. “Is it done?”
“Yup. Is it three thirty already?” Shit, I lost track of time. McKenna walks in, her eyes big and full of joy. Damn, that feels good. To know I did that for her. “Wanna show your mom?”
She rushes out of the room, and minutes later, I hear Raven climb the steps, then McKenna throws the door open.
“Ta-da!”
Raven frowns. “What’s this?”
Shit. Did I fuck up? Why does she look pissed?
“Sawyer made me a new bed. Isn’t it cool?” McKenna squeals, beaming up at Raven. Her face softens.
“So cool,” Raven agrees impassively.
Maybe I overstepped? “I should’ve run it by you.”
“No, no, it’s fine. Sorry, my mind is elsewhere. For a second I thought this was a prank.”
“How would this be a prank?”
“I dunno. Is Jonah hiding in there, ready to pop out and scare me?”
“Boo!” Jonah yells from behind her, and Raven’s hand grabs at her chest as she turns to him. He looks worried as he shrinks back. “Did I scare you?”
I hold up my hands. “That wasn’t planned, I promise.”
She looks between us as she pants for breath. “I’m on edge. I’ve got to turn this project into my editor.” She kneels, looking at Jonah. “You did scare me, but it’s okay.”
“But you didn’t run into Sawyer’s arms.”
Her head tilts and her brow furrows, but I shrug, unsure what he’s talking about.
Jonah rocks from side to side like he’s getting worked up. “When you get scared, you’re supposed to hug Sawyer so he will protect you.”
“Says who?” She looks at me over her shoulder. “This guy over here is scared of his own shadow. He’s more likely to run into my arms when scared.”
“I thought it was a spider.” I try to lighten the mood, but Jonah’s not having it.
His lip trembles, and Raven grabs his hands. “Boys comfort girls when they’re scared.”
“People comfort people when they’re scared. We don’t buy into the patriarchy’s idea of women needing men to protect them.”
“But you’re supposed to hug him.”
She looks back at me, but I’m just as confused as she is. I can tell he’s about to spiral, and I look around the room for an idea. “Ah! What was that?” I point to the curtain. “There’s something behind the curtain. I swear I saw it move!”
Everyone looks at the window as I shake my hands like I’m terrified. “Raven! Save me!” I cry, reaching for her.
The smirk on her face and the gratitude in her eyes nearly do me in as she stands and opens her arms in invitation. I run over to her and hug her tightly.
“Thank God you were here to protect me. Jonah was right, I needed a hug,” I say loud enough for Jonah to hear.
“You’re a moron,” she mumbles into my ear.
“Yeah, but you love me.”
——————
It’s odd how quickly we slip into a domestic routine.
On the nights I don’t have the kids, I end up staying at Raven’s, fucking her late into the night, then working on the house when I’m not at the station.
When I have the kids, we still end up at Raven’s, minus the sleepovers.
We both agreed it’d be too chaotic for the boys.
All it’d take is one sleepover, and they’d be begging to stay at Raven’s on my nights.
The leaves change and fall in striking shades of red, orange, and yellow, and I recruit all four kids to help rake and bag them. Keeping up with all of them and their interests is a full-time job, but I’m happy to take it on so Raven can focus on her book.
It strikes me that this is what I’ve always wanted—not just the family and the partner, but someone I can support through their goals like they support mine.
Things aren’t fifty-fifty right now, but no one’s yelling at me to do more, and I’m not the least bit bothered by picking up Raven’s slack.
This is what I want. Who knew it could be this easy with the right person?
I’m tucking in Jonah tonight so Raven can meet her word goal. Do I wish Tommy was here too? Fuck yeah. But it’s Jocelyn’s night.
“Can I color your tattoo again?” he asks, bouncing on the bed.
“Not tonight, buddy. We need to read a book and go to bed.”
He flops back on the mattress. “Ugh, okay,” he whines, then rolls off the bed and crawls on his hands and knees over to the shelf. “My body isn’t sleepy yet.”
“Is that why you’re crawling instead of walking?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you need to get your wiggles out?”
“Can we swing?”
“Pick out a book, and we can go down to the swings and read.”
Earlier this week, I was putting the finishing touches on Jonah’s sensory room, and he snuck in while I was working on it.
I’d lost track of time yet again and didn’t realize he’d come home from school already.
Raven’s been so distracted with her book, it’s been easy to hide from her.
Plus, she hates coming down into the basement.
But it’s the ideal space for what I needed.
I walled off the corner of the basement, but left the beams exposed so I could hang the swings.
I added carpet with extra padding underneath so Jonah’s crash pads wouldn’t echo through the whole house.
It’s not fully soundproof, but there’s enough in the space to absorb the sounds and block out noises when Jonah needs a place to decompress.
Jonah is upside down in a partial handstand in front of the bookshelf, and I walk over to him, pointing to several books. “What about those? You like that series.”
“Those books are too big. It’s like they ate too many words.”
“Got it. Are you wanting a story or an info-dump? Are we learning or storytelling?”
Jonah’s books are sorted into fiction and non-fiction, and I’ve noticed that his needs change depending on his mood.
“Learning.” He crashes onto the floor and grabs a book about chickens. We’ve read it at least a dozen times. “So read it in a normal voice.”
“So I shouldn’t use my storyteller voice with all the accents and sound effects?”
“Nope,” he says, pushing back into a handstand. “Did you know that there’s scientific evidence that chickens are the closest living relatives of the T-Rex?”
“Is that so?” I pick up the book and head to the door, knowing he’ll follow me.
“Yup. I know! You should be a T-Rex for Halloween since I’m gonna be a chicken,” Jonah says as he walks over to me.
Warmth blooms in my chest at his request, knowing the connection his brain is making. “Because you see me like a relative?”
“Yeah. We’re a family. Right?”
“Right.” He turns and runs down the hall as I blink back the emotions threatening to consume me.
I pop my head into McKenna’s room and tuck her in, then head down to the basement to swing and read about chickens with Jonah.
The only thing that would make this moment better is if all six of us were together.
——————
There’s a little over a week until Halloween. I’m almost finished with all the projects at Raven’s house, and I can’t get out of my head. Up until now, I’ve had a reason to just show up, but I’m nervous about our future once the renovation’s complete. Will she still want me around?
I had to slow down a bit this week when work ramped up and took over my schedule. It killed me not to show up at her place some nights this week, but I was too exhausted. I could hear the disappointment in her voice when I changed the plan.
Since the kids are at Jocelyn’s tonight, I decided to head over to Raven’s after work. She said Jonah had a meltdown a couple of nights ago because he wanted to read with me.
It’s after nine when I arrive at her house and walk in to the sounds of a screaming Jonah. Taking the stairs two at a time, I race to his room.