Twelfth Tale Of a Master of Prayer #5
So this group went searching for such a man.
They went out and saw an old Gypsy beggar being carried aloft, followed by nearly five hundred other Gypsies.
The old beggar was blind and mute and hunchbacked.
Those who trailed behind him were all part of his evil brood, his sisters and brothers, and their wicked offspring, who came to number this many.
All of them followed him and carried him on the way, taking great care to show their 163 respect for this old beggar even though he sneered at them and bitterly cursed them all the while as he ordered one and then another to carry him, continually heaping scorn upon them.
Thus the group in search of an honoured and venerated king determined that this old beggar was a highly esteemed and respected man.
Indeed, he had clearly attained great honour and yet sought even more and was steadfast in further acquiring it.
They were pleased by this beggar and took him for their king.
Now, the land itself must be amenable. There must be an amenable land that is most conducive for respect to flourish just as another may be more conducive for other purposes.
So the group that held honour as the ultimate goal sought a land most amenable and conducive for veneration.
When they found a land most fitting, they settled there.
Others held that honour was not the main purpose, for they considered murderousness to be the essential principle of the world and its chief quality.
For as we can see, all things that exist in the world are subject to destruction.
Everything in the world—from the grass and crops to human beings—eventually must cease.
Accordingly, the essence of all things is that they are bound to end.
Thus, a killer, who slays and destroys people, advances the world towards its final end.
The chief quality of this world, they decided, is murderousness.
So they sought a murderer, full of fury and malice, who they, in their deluded way, believed was truer to the ultimate purpose and deserved to be king.
As they went searching for such a man, they heard a cry. When they asked what this cry was, they were told that it was someone who had just slaughtered his father and mother. 164
Where, they thought, could you find a more stone-hearted murderer? Who could be more savage than he who has slain his own father and mother? This man has attained the ultimate goal. They were very pleased by this killer and took him for their king.
They sought a land that would be most amenable for murderousness and decided on a place in the mountains where murderers were known to hole up. There they went to settle with their new king.
Some said that the one who is most fit to be king is he who has an abundance to eat but does not consume the food of common men, but rather only the most refined things (such as milk, which does not corrupt the intellect).
Although they reckoned that such a man deserves to be king, they could not straight away find such a person who did not consume the food of common men.
In the meantime, they chose a rich man who had a great deal of food and a highly refined palate to serve as their interim king until they could find the man they truly wanted.
So, for the time being, they chose the rich man for their king and found a suitable land. There they settled.
Some said that a beautiful woman ought to rule them.
The chief goal of the world is that it be inhabited—indeed, for that very purpose it was created!
As beauty arouses desire, thereby the population increases.
Accordingly, a beautiful woman helps advance this ultimate goal of the world and one who possesses beauty ought to be our ruler.
So they found an exceptionally beautiful woman and she was made their ruler.
Then, they searched and found a land most fitting where they settled. 165
Some said that the most essential thing in the world was the power of speech, for that is what distinguishes man from beast. Eloquence is the chief thing that marks a person as greater than an animal.
Accordingly, this is truly the essential quality and we should seek someone with the gift of the gab, a polyglot, well spoken in the world’s languages, who should be able to hold forth all the time.
Such a man is on the path to attaining the ultimate goal.
They went and found a mad Frenchman, who was wandering about and talking to himself.
They asked if he knew languages and he knew several.
In their deluded view, such a man had certainly attained that which was most indispensable.
Indeed, he was quite a raconteur and apparently conversant in many tongues, and he sure could talk a lot, even to himself.
So they were very pleased by him and took him for their king.
They chose a land that was most amenable and there they went to settle with their new king, for he would certainly set them on the right path.
Some said that the essential goal in life is pleasure.
For when a child is born there is great merriment, and at a wedding it is very gay indeed.
And there is great happiness, too, when a nation is victorious in its conquests.
Accordingly, the most fundamental thing of all is pleasure.
So they went looking for a man who was always happy, since he is on the path to attaining the ultimate goal in the world and he ought to be their king.
They went and found a Ukrainian peasant ambling along in a filthy shirt and carrying a bottle of liquor.
A large group of peasants were trailing behind him.
This peasant was very happy because he was quite drunk.
They saw that he was full of mirth and had not a care in the world.
They were well pleased with him because he was on 166 the path to attaining the ultimate goal, which was happiness, so took him to be their king.
Undoubtedly he would lead them on the righteous path.
They chose a land that was most amenable, that is, where there were vineyards for making wine and grappa from the grape seeds.
No part of the grapes should go to waste, because, for them, the essential quality was for people to drink and get drunk and be forever merry.
Even though there were no grounds for their happiness, as they had nothing to be happy about, their essential goal was nevertheless to indulge always in pleasure.
So they chose a land amenable to that and there they went and settled.
Some said that the essence of life is wisdom, so they went looking for a great sage and made him their king. They sought out a land amenable to wisdom and went and settled there.
Some said that the essential goal is to devote oneself to taking food and drink for the purpose of enlarging one’s limbs.
So they looked for a stout-limbed man who spent his time strengthening and growing his body.
He who has large limbs has a greater share in the world, as he occupies more space in it.
That man was closer to the essential goal since the essential goal was the enlargement of the limbs.
Accordingly, such a man was fit to be king.
They went and found a towering Hungarian whom they were pleased with because he was so stout-limbed and thus on the path to attaining the ultimate goal and they made him king.
They sought out a land amenable to this essential goal and went and settled there.
A troop of this kingdom’s stout-limbed soldiers sallied forth with a convoy of wagons carrying their food, drink and other supplies. 167 The world naturally cowered before these stout-limbed soldiers for they were large men and warriors. Whoever encountered them withdrew at once.
While this troop was making their way, they encountered a great Warrior.
This Warrior did not back away from the soldiers, instead he rushed headlong into them, scattering them this way and that.
The men of the troop feared him. He went among the wagons of the convoy and ate up everything in sight.
To the soldiers it was terribly bewildering and they instantly fell down before him.
Long live the king! they cried, making him at once their king, for he was clearly entitled to be their ruler.
To their way of thinking, the essential quality was being stout-limbed.
The current king readily yielded his kingship, for this Warrior was clearly entitled to the throne, being such a great warrior and so stout-limbed.
And so it was. They made this warrior their king.
And that is the Warrior, the soldier continued, whom we are now accompanying to conquer the world. But this Warrior does not plan to rule the world by his conquest. Rather, he seems to have a different purpose entirely.
All this one of the Warrior’s warriors told the Master when he asked how he had come to be with the Warrior.
But there was yet another group who said that none of the other things were the essential goal.
The true essential purpose of living is to devote oneself in prayer to Blessed God, and to be meek and humble.
They looked for a Master of Prayer and made him their king.
(To be sure, all the other groups were in error, misled into folly—each led into its own folly by its foolish 168 opinions and witless suppositions.
This last group, however, had hit upon the truth, and good for them!)
And it came to pass…
The Master asked another of the Warrior’s warriors, What is the nature of the valour of the Warrior who is now your king?
He replied, When a country does not wish to submit to him, then our Warrior unsheathes his sword, a sword with three distinct powers. When it is raised aloft, all the officers flee…