Chapter 9
Parisar fed me. It was simple fair; a stew with vegetables and unidentified meat…I think it was venison, but I wasn’t sure. It was tasty and filling, if not what I was used to.
I sat quietly next to Parisar and observed my kidnappers. I’d originally thought they were all men, but of the seven, three were women. They wore breeches and carried weapons just like the men. I shouldn’t have been so surprised. The royal guard had women members, and I had seen them in breeches and carrying weapons , but this was somehow different. The female guards in the palace were set apart from the other guards. I didn’t know if that was my father’s doing, tradition, or simply the prejudices of the male guards. I’d never thought to ask.
This group, however, was inclusive. The men didn’t treat the women any differently than they treated each other, even going so far as to swear at them and pull weapons on each other over a difference of opinion.
While Parisar was part of them, he was also a little apart. I imagined he was their leader, which was the cause of that separation. Not that he ordered them around or demanded airs and graces like the guard commanders I’d witnessed. No. This group was well-trained and tight-knit. They’d gotten the camp ready without any directive from Parisar, and each member knew their place and their task and did it without complaint. Even cleaning up.
After dinner, the others drifted away from the fire, leaving Parisar and me alone once again.
‘You’ve been quiet,’ Parisar said. ‘I know the food and accommodations aren’t what you’re used to—’
‘That’s not why I’m quiet,’ I replied, keeping my eyes on the dancing flames in the fire pit. ‘I was just observing everyone.’
‘Gaining intel on us?’ Parisar asked in that mocking way of his.
‘I have to tell the guards something when I escape,’ I retorted, still not looking at him.
Parisar exhaled roughly. ‘Why won’t you believe me when I say that we were saving you?’
‘Because you kidnapped me,’ I replied, finally turning to look at him. ‘You could have taken me aside, explained the situation—or better yet, gone to my mother and told her.’
‘I did,’ Parisar replied. ‘As soon as I found out about the plot to take you, I went straight to the queen. She was the one who ordered me to take you away before anyone else could.’
I stared at him. ‘What?’
‘You think I did this for some nefarious purpose, but I was acting on the orders of the queen,’ he said, his voice as serious as I’d ever heard it.
‘My mother knows about this?’
He nodded.
‘Why didn’t she tell me?’
‘There was no time,’ Parisar replied with a sigh, turning to stare into the flames. ‘We heard about the scheme to take you and that it was happening that night. I barely had time to gather the team and thwart the attempt.’
‘But why kidnap me? Why not just hustle me out of the castle? Why capture those men and do their job?’
‘Why do you think?’ Parisar asked, turning to look at me, one eyebrow raised.
I thought it through. What would they possibly gain from pretending to kidnap me—
‘Oh,’ I said.
Parisar nodded slowly. ‘Yes. We want the perpetrator to think they have succeeded. Then we might have a chance of capturing them.’
‘Can’t you just ask the men you captured?’ I asked.
‘We could,’ Parisar said. ‘And we will, but I doubt they will tell us the truth.’
‘Honour among thieves?’ I asked, and Parisar chuckled.
‘Hardly,’ he replied. ’It’s the way they prove their loyalty to their master.’
‘They’d rather die than expose their master?’ I asked, horrified.
Parisar shrugged. ‘That, or whoever is behind this has their family locked up somewhere, and if they expose their secrets, their family will die. Dying would actually help their families. Keeping them alive could be detrimental. It gives their master doubts about how much they may have told us.’
I shuddered. What was this strange, harsh world I had stumbled into? It was as far removed from my life and my world as I could get. I wrapped my arms around myself.
‘Are you cold?’
Before I could reply, Parisar wrapped a cloak around me and pulled me closer to him so our bodies touched. It was inappropriate and yet, I didn’t protest or try to move away. If what Parisar was saying was true, then he had saved my life. The only question was, was he telling the truth, or was it some elaborate lie?
‘We will question the prisoners in the morning,’ Parisar said softly. ‘Maybe they will tell us what we need to know.’
I knew he said it to comfort me, but neither of us believed it.
We sat like that, side by side, our shoulders, hips, and knees touching for a long while, both staring at the fire. The forest was quiet and the noise of the other members of the group had died down as each had settled down to sleep or keep watch.
My eyes drooped, but I tried to keep them open. It wouldn’t do me any good to fall asleep. I still didn’t trust Parisar one hundred percent. He told a convincing story, and he seemed sincere enough, but I needed to know for sure before I could believe everything he said. It could still be some elaborate ruse to remove me from the castle so his father could take over. Although, that seemed less likely the more I thought about it.
The heat of the fire and the warmth of Parisar’s cape, not to mention the strong, silent, stability of him next to me lulled me into a doze, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I expected him to shoo me off, but he didn’t. Instead, he shifted slightly to make it more comfortable for me.
A little while later, Parisar roused me. ‘It’s time for bed, Snow,’ he said, his voice soft and gentle.
‘Uh huh,’ I murmured.
Parisar helped me to my feet, and I leaned heavily on him as he guided me away from the fire. I shivered at the sudden chill, and he put his arm around me, drawing me even closer into the heat of his body.
It shouldn’t feel good.
I shouldn’t be so dependent on him, but…but I was exhausted. The stress of the day and everything that had happened since I’d met Elil in the garden felt like a heavy load weighing my eyelids down.
‘Here you go,’ Parisar murmured, lowering me to a soft pallet on the floor.
I didn’t mind. It was comfortable and warm, and I rolled over, snuggling under the blankets and dropping off to sleep.
A loud cry rang out, jolting me from my sleep. It took me a minute to understand where I was. The room was large and open and there were seven sleeping pallets arranged in a circle. Some didn’t look slept in, and yet others were rumpled. There was a large lump in one of them which I assumed to be someone still sleeping.
Another shout roused the still sleeping member, and he sat bolt upright. He was fully clothed, including his shoes, and he was out of bed and heading for the door without a backward glance.
It took me a little longer to get going. I had slept deeply and hadn’t stirred the entire night. I would have been suspicious that Parisar had slipped something into my stew the night before, but I’d watched as my portion had been ladled out of the same pot that everyone else used. If I had been drugged, then everyone else would have been as well.
I stood and stretched, surprised I wasn’t stiff and sore from the rough treatment and the even rougher makeshift bed.
Loud murmurings followed by the sound of a fight had me moving toward the door. I was under the strange hill with the door that I’d spied the night before. The room was built under the ground, or perhaps the ground had been used to bury the room to camouflage it.
I peered out into the weak morning light. The fire was lit, and I could smell something cooking. There was also the unmistakeable smell of tea, and I dragged in a deep breath, my eyes fluttering closed. Tea.
But before I could satisfy my tea cravings, I needed to use the bathroom, or what would pass as a bathroom in the forest. I shuddered to think what that might be.
I stepped out, intending to find Parisar, and noticed everyone was gathered around the tree where the would-be kidnappers were tied up. There were angry words and even angrier faces as the group argued amongst themselves.
Parisar rubbed the bridge of his nose and stepped away from the group looking defeated. He sensed my eyes on him and looked up. His face was grim. I found myself drifting toward him.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked. ‘What’s going on?’
‘They’re…dead.’
‘What?’
I tried to move closer to check for myself, but Parisar grabbed my wrists and held me back.
‘You don’t need to see that,’ he said gently.
‘Why? How? What happened? I thought you were going to question them? I thought—’ I turned my eyes up to his. ‘Did you do this? Did you kill them?’
His face looked stricken for a moment before he hardened his expression. ‘No,’ he replied through gritted teeth. ‘They did this to themselves.’
‘What?’
‘Poison,’ someone else said.
‘How do you know?’ I asked, searching for the source of the voice and struggling in Parisar’s grip.
‘Their lips are blue and there’s…residue.’
‘Who poisoned them?’ I asked, my voice rising.
‘None of us,’ Parisar said, turning me to face him. ‘They did this to themselves. This was their failsafe if they got captured.’
It didn’t make sense to me but then I had never been in such a desperate position either. If whoever ordered my kidnapping also had these men’s families, then…I could see how they would think they had no choice. It was such a waste of life.
I sagged into Parisar’s chest, and he released my wrists to encircle me with his arms.
‘It’s my fault,’ I whispered. ‘They died because of me.’
‘No,’ Parisar said softly in my ear. His hand made large circles on my back as he tried to comfort me. ‘They died because of whoever ordered them to kidnap you. None of this is your fault.’
‘You don’t believe that,’ I said, lifting my head to look at him. ‘You’ve told me time and again that I’m ignorant of the machinations of the court. If I hadn’t been so na?ve, this wouldn’t have happened.’
‘With that reasoning then your parents are to blame for not forcing you to be more involved,’ Parisar said.
I shook my head. ‘No—’
‘Yes,’ Parisar said. ‘But you and I both know that your parents are not to blame for these men’s deaths. And neither are you. Whoever ordered them to abduct you is responsible for giving them no other option but to die. The person behind all of this would have given them the poison and instructed them to take their lives if they were captured. None of this is your fault, Snow.’
I searched his gaze, wanting to believe him, wanting to be absolved of the guilt but also not. Why did I feel like I needed to take the blame? Why did I feel so responsible?
‘What do we do with them?’ one of the others asked.
‘Whatever they were, whoever they worked for, they are still human beings,’ Parisar said wearily. ‘They deserve a burial at the very least.’
No one protested, and they all set about the task.
Parisar looked down at me. ‘How did you sleep?’
The segue to normal conversation reminded me of my need to use a bathroom. It seemed such a silly and mundane need after witnessing the death of those men, but I could no longer deny my body’s demands.
‘I need the bathroom,’ I whispered.
Parisar nodded and led me away from where the others had pulled out shovels and were making plans for the burials.
‘And tea,’ I added.
Parisar smiled. ‘Of course you do,’ he replied.