Chapter 14
The old building was dirty, dusty, and had far too many cobwebs for my comfort. Before I could even start my sword training, I needed to clean it up.
More cleaning.
I went back to the house to get a straw broom and some rags. I briefly contemplated washing the floor but decided against it. It was just for training, and it would most likely get dirty again anyway. A good sweep would be enough.
I stopped for lunch and came straight back after I’d completed my dish washing chore. My hands would never be the same again, but then training with a sword would do more damage than washing dishes.
I’d noticed the calluses on Parisar’s hands but hadn’t really paid them any heed. Now, after seeing him chopping wood and sparring with Cor, I realised they were hard won callouses, and it also indicated he’d been doing this for longer than I’d imagined.
At home, in my own space, I was confident in my knowledge of my world and the people in it. Or at least, I thought I knew everything of consequence, but now I realised I knew very little. Before, I’d felt intelligent, but here, I felt out of my depth and ignorant. The skills I’d learned as a princess meant very little here. No one cared if I could embroider or paint—neither of which I did very well anyway. Sewing patches on worn clothes and knowing how to make a meal out of nothing were the more valuable skills.
Living in the castle had isolated me from the very people I was supposed to represent and serve. How could I make decisions on their welfare when I had no idea about how they lived? How was I supposed to govern a people I had lost touch with?
My arms ached, and I was sweaty and dirty and yet, I felt…content. I looked around the space I had spent hours cleaning and I felt accomplishment. Much the same as I had when I had restored my tower room, but more so, because then all I’d done was direct the servants. This time I had done it all myself.
What did that say about me and the life I had lived previously?
‘Looks good,’ a deep voice said from the doorway.
I swung around, hoping it was Parisar but knowing it wasn’t. I’d recognised Breust’s voice, but part of me hoped Parisar had come as well.
I didn’t let the smile drop from my face. ‘It does,’ I replied. ‘Now I have a place to practise with the sword you gave me.’
Breust stepped into the building, looking around. ‘What are you planning on doing? Just swing it around?’
I bit my lip and looked around the room too. It was a wide-open space, which I’d thought was ideal for practise, but Breust had a point. I’d need more than just open space. I needed an opponent.
‘I could strike against the posts,’ I said, pointing to the wooden uprights that held up the roof.
‘I wouldn’t,’ Breust said. ‘Not unless you want to bring the roof down on you. Besides, that’s not what I’m talking about. Do you even know the first thing about sword fighting? Do you know how to stand or even how to swing?’
I shook my head. ‘I only know what I’ve seen others do.’
Breust nodded as if he’d expected as much. ‘Okay then let me help you—’
‘No,’ I said, taking a step back. ‘I want to do this on my own.’
‘I get that, Princess, but can I at least give you some things to practise? Otherwise, what’s the point? You won’t learn anything being out here by yourself.’
I really, really didn’t want Breust making fun of me and my lack of abilities, but what choice was there? I needed to learn, and he was offering. It might very well come back to bite me later on, but it was this or nothing.
‘Okay,’ I said, walking over to get my sword.
‘Leave it,’ Breust said, and I stopped, turning to him in confusion. ‘Before you start training with the sword, you need to know the movements. I’m going to show you a kata.’
‘Kata?’ I asked, unfamiliar with the word.
‘It’s not our word, it comes from across the sea,’ he said, walking to the middle of the room. ‘It means form. It is a series of movements flowing one into another to practise the correct form for fighting.’
I frowned. ‘Like dancing?’ Dancing I could do. I was good at that.
Breust shrugged. ‘I suppose you could see it as dancing,’ he replied. ‘But there are no swirling skirts or pretty music.’
‘Show me,’ I said, going to stand in front of him.
He started slow, showing me a position and getting me to mirror him. He adjusted my stance at times and nodded at others. He gave each stance a name, and not just the ones I was used to like stab and thrust and parry. These were poetic names like falling blossoms for bringing my hands down from over my head, and wind in the leaves for a spin with outstretched arms. It really was like dancing.
‘Is that all?’ I asked when he came to a stop.
‘For now,’ he replied. ‘There are over five hundred different positions that can be used in the kata, but these ten will do to start.’
‘I can do more,’ I complained. As much as I’d enjoyed learning the moves, I didn’t see how it would help me with sword fighting.
‘When you can do these perfectly without your sword, then we will try them with the sword. When you have mastered that, I will show you more.’
Breust left me to practise, warning me not to pick up the sword until he was there to supervise. I was tempted to disobey him, but I didn’t. I would show him that I was a quick learner and that I could master the kata in no time.
Mastering the kata to Breust’s exacting standards took a week. It was a week of sweat and aching muscles that had me groaning as I collapsed into bed each night. At least I slept well. Mornings were tough, especially with the time that everyone rose. I’d taken to doing a morning kata while everyone else was doing their morning training, before breakfast. But finally, by the end of the week, Breust deemed my kata good enough to start practising with the sword.
No one inquired about my whereabouts during the day. I kept up with my chores and even learned a few cooking skills from Weylei—I would never been his league, but I could at least fend for myself if I ever needed to. I was sure Parisar knew where I was and what I was doing, but he didn’t say anything to me. No one did. Other than Breust and Weylei, no one spoke to me unless they absolutely had to.
Parisar had brought me a bow and arrows as promised, and I alternated practising the kata with archery. It felt good to have the bow in my hands, and it was the one thing I was confident in. I may have never shot a moving target or a living thing, but I could hit a bullseye on a target consistently.
At night, I’d taken to mending ripped and torn clothing I’d found while doing laundry. While the others sat around the fire and chatted, I sat off to the side with my needle, thread, and passable sewing skills. I listened to what they said but never joined in.
My opinion of whether I was a prisoner or a protectee fluctuated daily. If I was a prisoner, then why would Breust be teaching me how to use a sword? But if I was a protectee, why did everyone keep their distance from me? Why did Parisar keep his distance from me?
My life was very different to that at the castle. It wasn’t bad, just different. In fact, if I had to be honest, I enjoyed it…for the most part. I missed my tower room and my books, but I didn’t miss my lessons or the long hours of boredom. I hadn’t realised just how bored I’d been, not until I had things to fill my days. Between my chores and my practise session, I was free to roam the woods, a portion of the woods. There was a small stream a few hundred paces into the woods behind the house, and it acted as a boundary for me. No one had specifically told me not to go beyond the stream, but it felt like a good distance for me when I needed space from the others. I wasn’t confident in my survival skills to go any further. Thoughts of escape had fled, at least for now. I wasn’t being mistreated, and if the queen was looking for me, she would find me soon enough. We were still in Eudaimonia, and I doubted there was anywhere in the kingdom they could hide me from my mother. The fact that no one had found me so far, that no one had even come close, strengthened Parisar’s case.
I still didn’t completely believe him.
‘I’ll be heading back to the castle tomorrow,’ Parisar said.
My head snapped up from the mending I was working on. No one else seemed surprised. I lowered my head, hoping no one had seen my reaction.
‘I’m coming,’ Tain said.
‘And me,’ Breust added.
Parisar nodded as if he expected it. ‘Cor and Weylei I need you to check the western border.’
The western border? I frowned. Did the western border mean the border between Eudaimonia and Werifesteria? Or the western border of the compound? I didn’t ask, pretending to be so engrossed in my mending that I wasn’t paying attention.
‘Sim and Zeyr, I need you to get supplies.’
‘Supplies?’ Tain asked. ‘How much longer are we expecting to stay here?’
I wanted to know the answer to that question too, but I kept my head down.
‘I won’t know until I speak with the queen,’ Parisar answered.
I felt his eyes on me but I ignored him, pushing the needle through the garment on my lap as if I hadn’t just realised I would be left here alone. The needle in my hand paused. Alone. I would be alone for…I didn’t know how long.
Their conversation moved on to what supplies they needed, and I tuned them out. I could use the opportunity to escape. No one would be left to guard me. I could…
My plan fell apart before I could even form it. I didn’t know which way was west or north, or even east. I didn’t know how to get home from where we were. I had no idea how to survive in the woods alone, nor did I know how long it would take me to find help.
‘Princess.’
‘Hm?’ I looked up from my mending to see Parisar staring straight at me. ‘Can I have a moment?’
‘Of course,’ I replied, smiling. Would this be the bit where he told me he would be locking me in that one building I hadn’t been able to get into? I’d wondered why it was kept locked and had surmised it was perhaps a jail of some sort. Would I now find out the truth about it?
I rose and put my mending down, following Parisar out of the main house and into the night.
He paused near the unlit fire pit and looked up at the dark sky. I followed his gaze, once again marvelling at the thousands of stars I could see. I wished I knew their names.
‘I don’t like leaving you here alone,’ he said.
‘I’ll be fine,’ I replied, waiting for the moment he would tell me his plans for me.
‘Keep close to the compound and don’t wander too far into the woods,’ he said. ‘I don’t feel comfortable with you training in that building either. Use the practise yards. If anyone comes, hide.’
‘What?’ I asked, not sure I heard him correctly.
He turned to frown down at me. ‘What do you mean, what?’
‘You’re not going to lock me up?’
‘Why would I lock you up?’
‘So I don’t escape.’
Parisar stared at me for a long moment. ‘You are not a prisoner, Princess,’ he said.
‘Aren’t I?’
Parisar sighed and looked down at the ground, his hand on his hip. ‘You still don’t believe me,’ he said, stating it as a fact.
‘I don’t know what to believe,’ I replied, throwing my hands in the air.
‘What do you need me to do to make you believe? What if I brought a message from your mother? Would you believe me then?’
‘A message written by her hand with her seal,’ I replied. ‘Bring me that, and I will consider believing you.’
Another long stare from Parisar, and then he nodded. ‘But promise me you will be here when I get back,’ he said. ‘Promise me you will not try and get through the woods on your own.’
I didn’t want to give him that promise, even though I had already decided to stay, at least for now.
He stepped close to me, close enough that we were almost touching, and I tipped my head up to his. He towered over me, and maybe it was supposed to be intimidating, but intimidation was not what I was feeling. I felt myself sway toward him, drawn by something I couldn’t explain—or at least didn’t want to acknowledge.
‘Wait for me to return,’ Parisar murmured, his voice a low rumble that vibrated in his chest.
I nodded slowly, not taking my eyes from his.
‘Say it,’ he rumbled again.
‘I’ll wait for you,’ I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
Something lit in his eyes, making my insides melt and my brain fuzz. His gaze dropped to my lips and my eyelashes fluttered, and then he was gone. Spinning away from me he stalked back into the house, leaving me standing in the dark, keenly feeling the coolness of the empty air where he’d stood.
I shivered and hugged myself before turning and trudging back inside.