Chapter 17
“You’re really all better?”
“Near enough,” said Nezha. “They sent me down with the next shipment of soldiers as soon as I could walk.”
The Seventh Division had brought with them three thousand fresh troops and wagons of badly needed supplies from farther inland—bandages, medicine, sacks of rice and spices. It was the best thing to happen at Khurdalain in weeks.
“Three months,” she marveled. “And Kitay said you were never going to walk again.”
“He exaggerated,” he said. “I got lucky. The blade went right in between my stomach and my kidney. Didn’t puncture anything on its way out. Hurt like hell, but it healed cleanly. Scar’s ugly, though. Do you want to see?”
“Keep your shirt on,” she said hastily. “Still, three months? That’s amazing.”
Nezha looked away, gazing over the quiet stretch of city under the wall that they’d been assigned to patrol. He hesitated, as if trying to decide whether or not to say something, but then abruptly changed the subject. “So. Screaming at rocks. Is that, like, normal behavior here?”
“That’s just Suni.” Rin broke a wheat bun in half and offered a piece to Nezha. They had increased bread rations to twice a week, and it was worth savoring. “Ignore him.”
He took it, chewed, and made a face. Even in wartime, Nezha had a way of acting as if he’d expected better luxuries. “It’s a little hard to ignore when he’s yelling right outside your tent.”
“I’ll ask Suni to avoid your particular tent.”
“Would you?”
Snideness aside, Rin was deeply grateful for Nezha’s presence.
As much as they had hated each other at the Academy, Rin found comfort in having someone else from her class here on the other side of the country, so far away from Sinegard.
It was good to have someone who could sympathize, in some way, with what she was going through.
It helped that Nezha had stopped acting like he had a stick up his ass.
War brought out the worst in some people; with Nezha, though, it had transformed him, stripping away his snobby pretensions.
It seemed petty now to maintain her old grudge.
It was difficult to dislike someone who had saved her life.
And she didn’t want to admit it, but Nezha was a welcome relief from Altan, who had taken lately to hurling objects across the room at the slightest hint of disobedience. Rin found herself wondering why they hadn’t become friends sooner.
“You know they think your contingent is a freak show, right?” Nezha said.
But then, of course, he would say things like that. Rin bristled. They were freaks. But they were her freaks. Only the Cike got to speak about the Cike like that. “They’re the best damn soldiers in this army.”
Nezha raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t one of you blow up the foreign embassy?”
“That was an accident.”
“And didn’t that big hairy one choke out your commander in the mess hall?”
“All right, Suni’s pretty weird—but the rest of us are perfectly—”
“Perfectly normal?” Nezha laughed out loud. “Really? Your people just casually ingest drugs, mumble to animals, and scream through the night?”
“Side effect of battle prowess,” she said, forcing levity into her voice.
Nezha looked unconvinced. “Sounds like battle prowess is the side effect of the madness.”
Rin didn’t want to think about that. It was a horrifying prospect, and she knew it was more than just a rumor. But the more terrified she became, the less likely she’d be able to summon the Phoenix, and the angrier Altan would become.
“Why aren’t your eyes red?” Nezha asked abruptly.
“What?”
He reached out and touched a spot on her temple, beside her left eye. “Altan’s irises are red. I thought Speerly eyes were red.”
“I don’t know,” she said, suddenly confused. She had never once considered it—Altan had never brought it up. “My eyes have always been brown.”
“Maybe you’re not a Speerly.”
“Maybe.”
“But they were red before.” Nezha looked puzzled. “At Sinegard. When you killed the general.”
“You weren’t even conscious,” she said. “You had a spear in your stomach.”
Nezha arched an eyebrow. “I know what I saw.”
Footsteps sounded behind them. Rin jumped, although she had no reason to feel guilty. She was only keeping watch; she wasn’t barred from idle small talk.
“There you are,” said Enki.
Nezha swiftly stood. “I’ll go.”
She glanced up at him, confused. “No, you don’t have to—”
“He should go,” said Enki.
Nezha gave Enki a stiff nod and disappeared briskly around the corner of the wall.
Enki waited a few moments until the sound of Nezha’s footsteps pattering down the stairs died away. Then he glanced down at Rin, mouth pressed in a solemn line. “You didn’t tell me the Dragon Warlord’s brat was a shaman.”
Rin frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“The insignia.” Enki gestured around to his upper back, where Nezha wore his family crest across his uniform. “That’s a dragon mark.”
“That’s just his crest,” said Rin.
“Wasn’t he injured at Sinegard?” Enki inquired.
“Yes.” Rin wondered how Enki had known. Then again, Nezha was the son of the Dragon Warlord; his personal life was public knowledge among the Militia.
“How badly was he hurt?”
“I don’t know,” Rin said. “I was half-unconscious myself when it happened. The general stabbed him—twice, stomach wounds, probably—why does that matter?” She was confused by Nezha’s rapid recovery herself, but she didn’t see why Enki was interrogating her about it.
“They missed his vitals,” she added, though that sounded implausible as soon as the words left her mouth.
“Two stomach wounds,” Enki repeated. “Two wounds from a highly experienced Federation general who was not likely to miss. And he’s up and walking in months?”
“You know, considering that one of us literally lives in a barrel, Nezha getting lucky is not that absurd.”
Enki looked unconvinced. “Your friend is hiding something.”
“Ask him yourself, then,” Rin said irritably. “Did you need something?”
Enki was frowning, contemplative, but he nodded. “Altan wants to see you. His office. Now.”
Altan’s office was a mess.
Books and brushes littered the floor. Maps were strewn haphazardly across his desk, city plans tacked up over every inch of wall.
They were covered in Altan’s jagged, messy scrawl, outlining diagrams of strategies that made no sense to anyone but Altan.
He had circled some critical regions so hard that they looked like he had etched them into the wall with a knifepoint.
Altan was sitting alone at his desk when Rin entered. His eyes were ringed with such a prominent indigo that they looked like bruises.
“You summoned me?” she asked.
Altan set his pen down. “You’re spending too much time with the Dragon Warlord’s brat.”
Rin bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I won’t allow it,” said Altan. “Nezha’s one of Jun’s people. You know better than to trust him.”
Rin opened her mouth and then closed it, trying to figure out whether Altan was being serious. Finally she said, “Nezha’s not in the Fifth. Jun can’t give him orders.”
“Jun was his master,” Altan said. “I’ve seen his armband. He pledged Combat. He’s loyal to Jun; he’ll tell him anything . . .”
Rin stared at him in disbelief. “Nezha’s just my friend.”
“No one is ever your friend. Not when you’re Cike. He’s spying on us.”
“Spying on us?” Rin repeated. “Altan, we’re in the same army.”
Altan stood up and slammed his hands down on the table.
Rin flinched back.
“We are not in the same army. We are the Cike. We’re the Bizarre Children. We’re the force that shouldn’t exist, and Jun wants us to fail. He wants me to fail,” he said. “They all do.”
“The other divisions aren’t our enemy,” Rin said quietly.
Altan paced around the room, arms twitching involuntarily, glaring at his maps as if he could will into formation armies that didn’t exist. He looked quite deranged.
“Everyone is our enemy,” he said. He seemed to be talking to himself more than he was talking to her. “Everyone wants us dead, gone . . . but I won’t go out like this . . .”
Rin swallowed. “Altan—”
He jerked his head toward her. “Can you call the fire yet?”
Rin felt a twinge of guilt. Try as she might, she still couldn’t access the god, could not call it back like she had in Sinegard.
Before she could respond, though, Altan made a noise of disgust. “Never mind. Of course you can’t. You still think you’re playing a game. You think you’re still at school.”
“I do not.”
He crossed the room toward her, grasped her shoulders, and shook her so hard that she gasped out loud. But he only pulled her closer until they were face-to-face, eye to eye. His irises were a furious crimson.
“How hard could it be?” he demanded. His grip tightened, fingers digging painfully into her collarbone. “Tell me, why is this so hard for you? It’s not like this is new to you; you’ve done it before, why can’t you do it now?”
“Altan, you’re hurting me.”
His grip only tightened. “You could at least fucking try—”
“I’ve tried!” she exploded. “It’s not easy, all right? I can’t just . . . I’m not you.”
“Are you a toddler?” Altan said, as if curious.
He didn’t shout, but his voice took on a strangled monotone, carefully controlled and deadly quiet.
That was how she knew he was furious. “Or are you, perhaps, an idiot masquerading as a soldier? You said you needed time. I have allotted you months. On Speer, you would have been disowned by now. Your family would have hurled you into the ocean for the sheer embarrassment.”
“I’m sorry,” Rin whispered, then immediately regretted it. Altan didn’t want her apology. He wanted her humiliation. He wanted her to burn in shame, to feel so miserable with herself that she couldn’t bear it.