Chapter 34
Ellax
W e dined as Asterion’s twin suns slowly sank beyond the mountains. Considering that we were in my bedchamber, with a bed mere feet away, I would have predicted my thoughts to be full of nothing else besides lying with my wife. Instead, a sort of pall had fallen over my spirits. Mere days ago, I had left on a trip to Earth, full of tricks and schemes, determined to convince my son to return to Asterion as my heir. I hadn’t accomplished my purpose. Instead, I’d returned home with a human wife and possibly the largest decision I’d ever faced, both as an Asterion Elder and my new role as a Lead Advisor. While it was true I had no more fondness for the human species than I did for any other, besides my own, I feared how my action or inaction might affect my son and his wife.
My own wife.
Weightier matters than merely coupling lay on my shoulders. If Lorelai sensed it, she remained quiet and steadfast, eating while saying little, mainly watching the ever-changing colors of the sky through the windows and outside porch.
“It feels so strange to call another planet home,” she finally murmured. Having finished her meal, she wiped her hands on a cloth which she dropped onto the table between us. “Asterion is very beautiful, though. Parts of Earth used to look like this, before…”
She stopped. No need to go further. Before the Final War. Before humans had devastated their own planet. They were far from the only species to have done so. Did I owe it to this reckless species to try and salvage their mistakes? Or did we wipe out the rebels and start fresh with the compliant members? Cull the herd, as animal species were sometimes culled in order to produce better offspring?
I heard a heavy breath escape from her lungs.
“I guess it’s time, isn’t it?”
I turned my head to look at her. “Time?”
She waved her hand, gesturing loosely towards the doorway. “To bring in one of your mechas. Get this pregnancy pact witnessed. Isn’t that what we agreed?”
It was. The pact was important. Whatever the outcome of my decision concerning the Council’s proposal, I was still bound to this female. I still needed an heir. None of those issues were negated because of the uncomfortable choice I faced.
“You are not wrong,” I agreed. Twisting my wrist to reach the series of button inlaid on the underside of my wristlet, I pressed the center button, which would call Fertis.
“My chief mecha will be here soon,” I said.
Her face and posture were tense. I felt much the same way, although I did my best to appear confident. Bored, even. In control of my feelings, no matter how they twisted beneath my skin.
“Dear stars, we’re going to do this,” she murmured. Her fingers wrinkled and smoothed the fabric covering her knees. Wrinkled and smoothed. Wrinkled and smoothed.
“All will be well,” I attempted to assure her, stretching out a hand towards her. I don’t think she intended to, but she jerked her arm from my touch.
“I know, I know,” she said. “I’m also fully aware it’s too late to back out now. We’re married. We did what we did. But I wish…”
She wished she had never married me. She wished she had never met me. Strangely, the unspoken words sent a pain through my stomach. Sharper than they should have. Why should I care what a human female thought, even if she was my wife? Why did I care?
You know why.
The sibilant whisper in my brain taunted me with an uncomfortable truth.
No. That cannot be the reason.
A thump outside the door heralded Fertis’s arrival. I pressed another button to allow the mecha inside. He rolled right up to Lorelai and myself.
“Shall I clear the dinner?”
“No, Fertis. I have another job for you,” I explained. “I need you to bear witness to an agreement between my wife and myself.”
No reaction from the mecha. Of course, there was not. He was not a sentient being. Lorelai, on the other hand, had paled slightly. She did not flee, though. Or argue. Or burst into tears. I confess, I kept waiting for some sort of outburst or emotional reaction.
No.
Lorelai maintained her dignity as I fetched the paper form of the contract from the coat pocket where I’d kept it folded and concealed. After switching the mecha’s settings to witness , she and I both signed the paper contract in front of him. Afterward, I fetched my screenpad, which was already connected to the mecha’s internal computer. I pulled up the electronic version of the same contract. First, I used a stylus to sign, then Lorelai repeated my actions.
Done. Officially recorded. Sealed. Unbreakable.
I signed off on the screenpad, reverted Fertis’s back to his customary settings, and told him he could go. Like the well-programmed mecha he was, Fertis gathered up the remains of our supper, piled all of the dishes back onto the cart, and wheeled it out with him when he exited, closing the door behind him.
“Well.” Lorelai had a funny sort of smile on her face. “There you have it. We’re officially stuck together for the next few years. I guess I always figured when destiny hit that it would feel more like a lightning striking. This felt like…” She pursed her lips, shaking her head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like I thought it would.”
I knew what she meant. One never expected life-altering circumstances to arrive in such a haphazard fashion. I said this aloud to Lorelai, and she actually laughed.
“Haphazard. I think that describes it perfectly.”
She rose from her chair and stood over me.
“I suppose I could do a striptease or something to get you in the mood, but I’m guessing it’s not necessary.”
“A what?”
That was a human word I’d not heard before.
“A striptease.” A funny little smile quirked at her mouth. “Where a woman slowly takes off her clothes in a teasing way to get the man all excited.”
“Ah.” I knew then to what she referred. I’d seen that sort of entertainment from other species, particularly on Drixus.
“There is no need,” I told her. Rising, I reached for her hands, which she allowed me to take. Gently, I raised them to my mouth, studying her fingers a moment: slender, pale, against my own skin. Almost delicate in appearance, yet this female had shown glimpses of true inner strength since this mad journey commenced. Filled with that same odd surge of emotion that had captivated me several times of late, I gently pressed a kiss to the knuckles of each finger. “Although you may if you wish,” I concluded.
She looked up at me through her lashes. Hesitantly, and yet with a sparkle of amusement in her eyes. Stars, she was beautiful. Not simply beautiful for a female of her age, but…beautiful. Lovely in a way that probed at my heart, not merely my aesthetic senses. I could never explain why, but I was filled with an unusual urge to kiss her. Unusual because, despite all of my many affairs throughout the years, kissing females and offering affection was rare. Rather, I tended to make use of their bodies for immediate gratification, not emotional connection.
Somehow, with her…with this human wife…
I wanted more. More than a quick romp in the blankets, roll over, go to sleep, and hope my seed would implant itself, take root, and produce another child. I wanted—
“Ellax.”
Her lips barely moved as she whispered my name. It was enough to draw my focus entirely to them. Their sweet shape. Their delicate pink color.
Releasing her hands, I reached for her face, cupping her cheeks with my fingers. Her skin was soft, smooth, entrancing. I leaned into the moment, into the feelings, and lowered my mouth to hers. The instant my lips pressed against hers, fire and water and lightning and the sweetest pain coursed through me. I groaned aloud. She offered no resistance, and that fueled my longing. I pressed my body closer to hers, teasing her lips with my tongue, begging her to allow me entrance, begging her to allow me to please her.
When she obeyed, parting her lips, I gently slid my tongue inside, touching it to hers, coaxing, tempting. I didn’t know where this was supposed to end. Logically, one would have thought on the bed. On the floor. Against the wall. Right here in the chairs. After all, we were not untried youths, either of us. We were both well versed in matters of love and the joining of bodies.
And yet…
And yet, despite my body’s growing need for hers, I drew back. Slowly, I eased away, lessening the fervor of the kiss until it ended altogether. Ended with me resting my forehead against hers, breathing heavily, bringing myself back under control.
“Ellax…” she whispered, my name a question. “Is everything…okay?”
“Everything is well,” I replied quietly. “Everything is very well.”
To prove my words, I moved my lips to her forehead, pressing a kiss to her skin that was meant to reassure and comfort, rather than coax and tease.
“Everything is very well, Lorelai.”
“Okay.” To my astonishment, rather than draw away as soon as possible, she pressed closer, actually moving into my arms, which automatically opened to wrap around her shoulders and back, drawing her into my warmth.
“This feels nice,” she admitted, after standing there clasped against me for several long, peaceful, quiet minutes. “I can’t remember the last time anyone just held me.”
“Nor can I,” I admitted.
Her hair smelled sweet from the shower she’d had earlier on board the ship. It felt soft against my skin when I lowered my cheek to the top of her head.
“Ellax?”
“Yes?”
Her fingers toyed with my shirt, wrinkling the fabric in an almost nervous gesture, as she’d wrinkled the fabric of her skirts earlier. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” I replied instantly. In that moment, I was so captivated by this female that I would have handed her my entire planet without a second thought.
“Can we go to bed, but just…take tonight to rest and—and be close?” she asked quietly. “We have the rest of our lives for everything else. After all the craziness of the past few days, I’d kind of rather wait on the striptease.”
Her candor pulled a chuckle from me. I eased back enough to look down into her face.
“You know,” I replied, reaching up to smooth my hands over her hair and gently remove the pins that held it up. “I would not have thought so, yet I feel the same. Let’s go to bed, Lorelai. And rest. Lie next to one another and sleep. We’ve all the time in the world, as you said, for mating later.”
And that is what we did. But not before she gave me a rather sheepish look.
“I, uh, I don’t have anything to sleep in. I don’t think my belongings have arrived from the ship.”
“You could sleep in nothing,” I teased. “I would not mind.” Half-teased, because I certainly would not have been opposed to her sleeping in nothing.
“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” she said in a rather dry tone. “Do you have a shirt you could loan me?”
My mouth went as dry as the Sindin deserts, on the opposite side of the Horbeb mountain range, envisioning her sleeping in one of my shirts. It went even dryer to actually see it. I pulled a loose, light shirt from my drawer and tossed it to her. Catching it, she went into the bathroom. I heard water running. Soon, she emerged wearing nothing but the garment in question. I could scarcely swallow.
“Thanks,” she said, taking the time to drape her gown neatly over the back of a nearby chair. “This will work.”
She strode past me and stopped at the foot of the bed, gazing at it, her hands on her hips. “Which side?” she asked.
“Side?”
I must have sounded like a fool. I didn’t catch her meaning, being too busy staring at her long, shapely legs beneath the hem of my shirt, which didn’t quite reach mid-thigh. Her hands on her hips unintentionally displayed the shape of her ass, despite the looseness of the shirt. And the shirt being white, and somewhat see-through, I could catch tantalizing glimpses of her breasts. She didn’t appear to be wearing any supportive garments over them, either.
“Yes, which side of the bed do you usually sleep on?” she repeated, giving me a quizzical look. “Do you have a preference?”
Preference? I was quickly finding I had a preference for human females—or this one in particular. It was all I could do to force my focus to her question.
“I, uh, it does not matter,” I replied. Stars, I stammered like a teen male who had never seen an unclothed female before. “I have never lain the night through with anyone.”
Her face went a little slack. Her eyes wide.
“Never?”
I shook my head.
“What did you do, then? Force them to get up and leave after you were done having sex?”
“That, or I got up and left,” I replied, striding to the bed myself. Stripping off my outer clothing, which I tossed on the floor for mechas to deal with later, I chose the nearest side and sank down. “This will work. I will sleep here.”
Even as I lay down, she stood there gazing at me, frowning.
“What is it?” I asked, drawing the blankets down on her side for her.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I know my marriage was a bust. Obviously. I just can’t…I guess I can’t imagine having sex with all those different people, for one thing. Not that I’m judging,” she added quickly. “I can’t imagine doing it. And then to never actually sleep with any of them, but to get up and walk away or to send them away? It seems so…cold.”
She moved to seat herself on the edge of the bed, but she did not lie down. The hem of my shirt pulled up, revealing more of her thigh than I’d seen yet. I tore my gaze from her flesh to her face.
“To begin with,” I said with a small smile, “they were not all people , as you humans use the term. They were of many different species.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Yay. Not sure I even want to know how that worked,” she shot back.
I chose not to enlighten her.
“For another, unlike you with your husband, my wife did not care if I had mistresses. She had lovers of her own. Yes, I have lain with a good many females. No, I cared little for any of them.”
In truth, I’d cared for some a bit more than others. I’d born a certain fondness towards Caide’s mother, a former housekeeper, seeing as she’d given me another son. Albeit that son was an embarrassment in some respects and a problem to deal with.
“That’s just it.” She twisted towards me on the bed, folding her legs under her. The hem of the shirt, already high, was pulled even higher by the action, drawn tight against the top of her thigh. I caught glimpses of her lacy panties and could scarcely force my gaze away.
“Don’t you think sex should be something meaningful, at least? Something sacred?”
“What is sacred about it?” I laughed. “It is an act for pleasure and procreation. Typically for pleasure. We both experience pleasure, then we are done.”
“I don’t know, I…” She stared down at her lap, where her hands were twisting against one another. “Maybe it’s harder for me to have that view of sex because my husband did cheat on me. I always wondered how our marriage vows could mean so little to him. How could he go sleep with all those other women when he promised to be faithful to me? I was faithful to him. I kept my word. I meant what I said. I—”
She stopped. Sniffed. I realized she was fighting away tears. Unexpected compassion filled my heart.
“Lorelai,” I said gently, reaching out to lay my hand on her thigh. And if the shape and feel of her leg was enough to drive my senses mad, feeling true compassion helped counteract my raging desires. “My wife and I had an agreement that we could both see who we liked, as long as no children were impacted by our affairs. I broke that agreement,” I said, when Lorelai gave me another questioning frown. “It was not meant to happen. An accident. But Caide was born. You know that. Beside the point. In your case, you and your husband had no such agreement. He took advantage of you, lied to you, and deceived you. Neither my wife nor I acted so. We both knew full well what the other was about.”
She lifted her chin to gaze at the wall, as if her piercing stare might unlock some secret behind its painted panels.
“What you’re trying to get at is, you and I don’t have such an agreement. So, you’ll be faithful to me, even though my husband wasn’t?”
“Yes,” I said, squeezing her leg gently to lend weight to my assurance. “Yes. I will keep my word. So long as our pact stands, I will be faithful to you.”
She held her posture a little longer before sighing. Her shoulders slumped. Her chin came down.
“I can’t think about this anymore,” she said. “I’m way too tired.”
With that, she scooted around, throwing off my hand in the process, maneuvering her body until she was under the blankets with me, her head on the pillow next to mine.
I lay down too. Silence draped itself over us. I was not sleeping. I was thinking. Mulling over everything she had told me.
“Lorelai?” I asked quietly.
“Yes?”
Her alert tone proved she’d not been sleeping.
“Is your former husband the sole male you have bedded?”
She snorted. A funny sort of sound, a combination of disgust and humor.
“That’s pretty good, coming from you,” she said. “Yes, for your information, my husband is the sole man—male—of any species that I’ve ever had sex with. Why are you asking? Would you be turned off if I’d had multiple partners, considering how many you’ve had?”
“Not at all.” Quite the opposite, in fact. A strange sort of excitement filled me. I reached out, gently trailing a forefinger from the tip of her nose to her top lip, then tracing the outline of her lip all the way around. “Rather, I am anticipating pleasuring you in ways no other male ever has.”
She’d gone still beneath my touch. She didn’t fight it. She didn’t move. But her cheeks pinked when I warned her of my intentions.
“You, uh, think pretty highly of your skills in the bedroom,” she said, when I removed my finger.
“I’ve had much practice,” I smirked. “I assure you, I have every intention of putting my skills to very noble—and frequent—use.”
“Oh my.” She flipped on her side, turning away from me. “Not right now. Good night.”
Just like that, the spark was gone. The conversation ended. Disappointed, but not deterred, I chose to accept the decision we’d made and wait for another day.
“Good night,” I echoed and caught myself before adding, “My love.”